It’s not everyday Hanbin gets a call from the CEO to go to the office. But here he is running as fast as he could, hoping everything is alright, even know he was sure that it wasn’t. Hanbin knows the tone of that voice anywhere. It was the tone he makes whenever he was not pleased. His heart beats faster and faster as he approaches to the handle of the room’s door. He took a deep sigh and finally turned it to enter the office.

To his surprise, he saw the CEO with his maknae, Chanwoo, already seated in front of the boss. Why was he here? Hanbin took a while to process it all that Yang Hyun Suk had to say something. “Take a seat, Hanbin” he ordered almost immediately. Hanbin, without second thoughts, did as told got into a tensed sitting position. He took a quick glance at the maknae and could clearly see he is refusing to look at the leader. What in the hell is going on here?

“As you both know, iKON’s remaining contract will end next week and so is your individual contracts with this company” He explained carefully. Hanbin knew this, of course he does. He had to make sure they don’t have any schedule next week so they could have a meeting with their lawyers and stuff so they could have a renewal of the contract. What does that have to do with Chanwoo?

“And with everything that has happened, I’d never expected this would happen to a group’s maknae again.” He continued obviously not happy hearing the tone of his voice. Hanbin noticed Chanwoo lowered his head down as he said those words. Hanbin was processing everything the CEO said. What’s wrong with YG’s maknaes? What do they all have in common?

“First Minzy, then it was Taehyun, and now you, Chanwoo-ah” The CEO stated in disappointment. Hanbin dropped his jaw. The people they all mentioned all left the group. Is Chanwoo planning on.. no, he can’t be, right?

“Well, the contract couldn’t be manipulated with someone else’s signature. Are you sure this is what you really want, Chanwoo?” Yang Hyun Suk asked really hopeful. Chanwoo nodded quickly which made the leader’s heart sink somehow. Hanbin wanted to scream, specifically at Chanwoo. Why did he hide this from him?!

“Hanbin-ah, the news will get out there sooner or later and I need you to make a smart statement to the public. The company’s reputation will receive a lot of backlash, but it seems that nothing is changing his mind, so there’s nothing we can do. Both you and Chanwoo need to be in good terms between all of this. There’s a week for you to talk this out. It would be great if you could change his mind, Hanbin-ah,” he said as he chuckled. Hanbin couldn’t join him as he gave him a straight face instead. It wasn’t funny at all. “but either way, I don’t want to see any of you having a beef with each other afterwards. Do you understand?” He continued.

Both of the CEO’s clients nodded immediately. “And Chanwoo, if you also want to make some kind of statements please make sure you clarify that it isn’t because of our company’s treatment towards you. We have received so many complaints as it is. Okay?” The CEO said warning the maknae. “Of course, Sajangnim” Chanwoo replied. Hanbin looked at the maknae for a while. He really seems like he was sure about the decision he is making.

When has he thought about leaving?

Why didn’t he tell him?

Was he trying to get a name for himself outside iKON?

Was he uncomfortable all this time when they were together?

Did something happened without Hanbin’s know abouts?

All these questions Hanbin was screaming in his head, and yet he still couldn’t get the answers to. At least not now where the CEO is right in front of him. Hanbin could only sigh in frustration. The CEO could already sense the tension building in the room so he decided to end this right away.

“Both of you could leave now.” Yang Hyun Suk said sternly. Both of the members said their thanks and went out of the office hurriedly. And ever since that, it was silence. Chanwoo didn’t dare to say anything. His leader’s face was really intimidating. Chanwoo thought that Hanbin could actually punch him right in the face right now if it weren’t for the staffs scattered all over the building.

“Aren’t you at least going to explain?” Hanbin asked breaking the silence with a face Chanwoo hopes he would never see again on the leader’s face. Chanwoo sighed seeing how bad the situation was. He didn’t think the CEO would call Hanbin in. That was out of his plan. He opened his mouth to say something but he couldn’t think of what to say. Hanbin seemed like he was pissed at the younger’s reaction.

“ANSWER ME!!” Hanbin shouted. Some of the staffs that heard his shout stopped to look at the source of the sound. Chanwoo stared at all of them back, signaling them to mind their own business. It seemed to have worked as they all went back to what they were doing before.

“Hyung.. I’ll talk to you when you’re not so angry.” The younger replied calmly. “I’m not ing angry!” Hanbin exclaimed obviously showing the opposite of what he just said. Chanwoo rested his hand on the leader’s shoulder and smiled at him. “Hyung, I promise I’ll tell you and the rest of the hyungs later. I want the situation to calm down for a bit, okay?” Chanwoo explained earning a puzzled Hanbin in return. “Calm?! Chanwoo, you’re leaving us and expect us to be calm?! We only have one week to get you to stay and-“

“Hyung, I’m not staying.” Chanwoo cut the leader off with a statement that made Hanbin felt like he was drowning, the same feeling of failure he had when he didn’t manage to bring s to win on WIN. He is that sure of leaving the group. Hanbin dropped his jaw and pushed the maknae away in anger. “How could you just say that so easily?! You literally just tried to leave without us knowing! Is being a part of our group means nothing to you?!” Hanbin said exclaiming every sentence. Chanwoo chuckled hearing the leader, but he then gave out a straight face and lowered his head down afterwards.

“I’ll see you and the rest at dinner, hyung.” He said smiling as he left the older going to a direction Hanbin knows wasn’t the way to their dorm. He wanted to chase the maknae and slap him in the face forcing him to come back, but his legs stopped him. It feels like talking to him was useless. He was already 100% sure about the decision and Hanbin feels like ripping his hair off.

He then looked at the tall maknae’s figures at the back as he left. Why does it seem like it was so easy for him to leave Hanbin like that? Does he mean nothing to him? Was leaving him and the rest of the members an easy decision to him? Because in Hanbin’s head the answer is all yes, but somewhere in his heart he hopes that there was another reason, another answer that would hurt less.

***

Chanwoo spends his time sitting in a bench of a park, the place that he has visited a lot lately. It was a perfect place, in Chanwoo’s perception, for him to think. That’s something Chanwoo has been doing for the past months. He loves seeing the leaves of the trees fall telling him that it was autumn, he loves seeing children playing catch with the brightest smiles, he loves seeing the littlest changes he sees every time he goes there. It calms his mind and his heart.

Which is what he needs now. Chanwoo had planned on leaving the members for a long time. He had played scenarios of him explaining to the hyungs thousands of times on his mind, but now that the day has come he still couldn’t help but get nervous. Talking to Hanbin was already a difficult thing to do, so he’s not sure what to say at dinner today. He hopes that he won’t get affected by what the members will say, because he couldn’t afford to change his mind. This decision was final.

He took a glance at his surroundings for a minute and could see that the park was getting darker. The people in the park is slowly leaving too. It was a sign for Chanwoo to do the same but he just didn’t want to. He doesn’t want to come back to his dorm, so he stayed still. The lights of the park started to lit up and the sounds of crickets are slowly showing. It was beautiful.

“a couple of minutes won’t hurt”

Chanwoo said that to himself as he stayed still on the said bench. He looks slightly at his phone and saw what it seemed like all of the members calling him over and over. They also texted him asking his whereabouts and when will he get back. Chanwoo sighed and put his phone back to his pocket without answering any of them.

Suddenly he could feel someone poking his shoulder. By reflect, he immediately look at his back to see who it was. It was a middle-aged man, wearing a uniform.

“I’m sorry, it is really late and this park has to be sterilized. You could come back tomorrow, though. We open at 6 am.” The man said as polite as he could. Chanwoo gave him an apologetic face and bowed at him. “Ah, I didn’t know that! I’m so sorry, I’ll get going” he said as he left the place to get back to his dorm as slowly as he can. The more time he consumes the better.

***

“You’re too late for dinner” Hanbin said as soon as Chanwoo entered the dorm. Chanwoo could see that there is every member waiting for him in the dining room. It was 2 am, and he is surprised that they aren’t in bed yet. At least, that’s what he hoped had happened. They all looked at him worriedly ever since he came and Chanwoo wished he could get away from the place he is in right now.

“I’m sorry.” Chanwoo apologized shortly. “Where were you? Why didn’t you answer any of our calls?” Jinhwan asked as soon as Chanwoo finished apologized. “I just needed my time alone.” Chanwoo answered again as straightforward as he can. The faces of s afterwards weren’t exactly what Chanwoo wanted. They all looked… sadder. He assumed that maybe Hanbin already told them everything. Well, they did wait for him so they must know.

“Chanu-ah, please. Talk to us.” Donghyuk begged suddenly. Chanwoo felt really weak hearing the older’s words. Anything but a sad Donghyuk, please. He really feels like a monster now. Donghyuk is a happy pill, and if anyone took away his happiness it feels like the world is coming to an end soon.

“Talk about what?” Chanwoo is still trying to act dumb. He could hear Hanbin scoff after what Chanwoo has asked. “Drop the bull, Chanwoo. I told them what happened this morning.” Hanbin said obviously not pleased at what the maknae is doing. Yunhyeong widened his eyes at the sudden explosion of word Hanbin decided to say and rubbed the leader’s back in hopes to calm him down.

“Chanwoo, just at least let us know what made you feel to the point of making that decision..” Yunhyeong begged helplessly. “I just feel like I don’t belong here, hyungs.” The members looked like they were all shocked hearing that. “It has been years! We have explained to you tons of times that you don’t need to feel like an outcast! You could just talk to us if that is the case, Chanwoo. Don’t be stupid” Junhoe exclaimed bluntly surprising the others.

“Do you really think I haven’t tried that?! Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, Junhoe. I did try and it didn’t help at all! I still feel... useless” Chanwoo shot back, making the others speechless. “I don’t even know if you guys took my worries seriously..” Chanwoo continued. “Of course we did, Chanwoo-ah! We just didn’t know what to do. And take that back, you are not useless. Please get that thought out of your head.” Bobby said in defense causing the maknae to sigh.

“Chanwoo, we could fix this. It doesn’t have to end this way. You are our maknae, Chanwoo. Our family. That fact will never be a lie. You are one of us, even when you don’t feel like it. We’ll make you feel like it, okay?” Hanbin said trying to convince the younger. Chanwoo smiled but then lowered his head down to the ground.

“You guys are saying that just because you know I’m leaving the group.” He stated without a doubt in his voice. “That is not true!!” Hanbin replied almost shouting. “Hyung! I never even see you anymore! Even when I do, you cut me off as if like I am a waste of your time. The only time you actually talked to me for the past months was this morning!!” Chanwoo replied with a raised tone. “You are unreachable when I was lost.” Chanwoo continued this time with a voice calmer than before.

Those words hurt Hanbin to the core, because it was true. He was too busy on making sure the songs he made was perfect that he neglected his own members. Specifically, Chanwoo, who was troubled and needed him the most. “That was my mistake, Chanwoo. I am sorry. But you don’t have to punish the rest of the members and pain them by leaving.” Hanbin stated admitted his mistake.

“Does it really matter to hyungs if I leave?? None of you even noticed how I always arrive at this time everyday for a few months now. Only now that you know I am leaving that you took your time to wait for me and text me where I am. How am I supposed to even believe you, huh?!” Chanwoo said almost bursting out his tears but he still managed to force them in. The sight of them not knowing what to answer was not helping. They were really that clueless on how he felt.

“We have really been bad hyungs, Chanwoo. We admit that. You could punish us by doing anything but please, I’m begging you. Don’t leave us. C-Chanwoo please..” Donghyuk begged as he sobbed with tears already flowing down from his eyes. Seeing the latter made Chanwoo couldn’t hold in his tears anymore as he joined Donghyuk in the sobbing fest.

“I-I’m sorry” Chanwoo managed to say between his sobs. “Don’t do this, Chanwoo..” Jinhwan begged him. “Let us try to fix this, yeah?” Bobby offered but Chanwoo could only frown. He looked at every single of s that were all hopeful about the offer Bobby just gave him. “I’m so sorry.. I just can’t” Chanwoo managed to say as he left the members and locked himself inside his room.

They followed him to the front of his door knocking and shouting at him. “Jung Chanwoo!! You can’t hide from this!” Yunhyeong shouted knocking on the door. “CHANWOO-AH! COME BACK HERE” Jinhwan demanded. “What would the fans think if you leave?” Donghyuk asked hoping he would hear. Hanbin sighed at the messed-up situation.

“I guess we should leave him alone for now.” The leader said in defeat. “Hanbin-ah, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We only have a week until the renewal of the contract.” Bobby disagreed. “Then we will still have 6 days to go. Look at everyone, hyung. We’re all tired. Let’s take a goodnight’s rest and clear our heads. We will deal with this afterwards.” Hanbins said as the rest nodded. Jinhwan and Bobby were ready to counter Hanbin’s decision but seeing how sad and tired the leader was, they gave in and joined the others as they entered their own respected rooms.

***

Chanwoo couldn’t sleep. All he could think about the situation he is in. He almost gave in hearing his hyungs genuinely sad and bothered by his decision. He doesn’t want to know what will happen afterwards, so now he thinks that he should get out of the room while the rest are sleeping. A midnight snack could help him by a bit, maybe. But when he opened the door to get out of the room he is stuck in, he was surprised that it was blocked by something.

Or more likely, someone. When Chanwoo turned to look at the cause of his blocked door, he saw Donghyuk, who seems like he was sitting in front of the door the whole time. Chanwoo, of course, panicked and quickly shakes the older’s shoulders to wake him up. After a few tries, Donghyuk finally opened his eyes and looked at Chanwoo and smiled. “Am I dreaming?” He asked Chanwoo still half conscious.

“No. How long have you waited here, Donghyuk? What are you doing??” Chanwoo asked really worried of his fellow member. “I wanted to talk to you as soon as possible” Donghyuk explained as he stretches himself. Chanwoo sighed at the older’s shenanigans. “Get back to your room, Donghyuk. It must be uncomfortable for you to sleep like that the whole night.” Chanwoo said demanding the older earning a