While there are good things about being the only person who knows of Joohyun-unnie and Seulgi’s relationship, like the freebies that I get whenever I save them from whatever pinch they get themselves into, I have to admit that there are negative things to be had too.

Like right now, for example.

I munch awkwardly at the jelly bean that our manager passed to me while we’re all inside our van on the way back to the dorm. We’re coming home from our Incheon-Kpop concert schedule earlier and the atmosphere inside the van is like ice. Well, it is to the three of us at least.

Sooyoung and Yerim, as usual, are happily sleeping at the backseat, oblivious to the cold current radiating from our normally smiley bear. 

Our driver seems pretty oblivious too, as he hums quietly to the song in the radio that I don’t recognize.

I continue to observe them, feigning inattention by looking at my phone, though I still see them from my peripheral vision. Joohyun-unnie keeps on giving anxious glances to Seulgi while the latter studiously ignores her in favor of looking at the dark road outside.

I sigh to myself. I guess I should’ve seen this coming the moment Sunmi-sunbaenim approached Joohyun-unnie after the concert to invite her out for a meal. Joohyun-unnie had been so flustered that she agreed right away without giving it much thought. Not even when Sunmi-sunbaenim is done giving her a hug and a kiss on her cheek before bounding away to her dressing room and all that’s left is Seulgi’s wide eyes at the interaction before her.

That’s when Joohyun-unnie finally got a clue and tried to approach Seulgi to explain but then Seulgi’s already halfway out the door before she can even open .

This is ridiculous. I never pegged Seulgi as the jealous type. Joohyun-unnie gets jealous and possessive all the time. Sometimes she even gets caught by fansites giving a glare to anyone who talks to Seulgi for a long period of time.

Then it clicks to me, Joohyun-unnie’s always acting clingy because Seulgi’s network of girls is really astounding. She seems to be friends with at least one person from half the active girl groups in Korea right now. But Joohyun-unnie’s a hermit just like me so she’s never really given Seulgi a reason to be jealous because she never gets out and interact with other beautiful people.

Until now, that is. Well, I guess Bogum-ssi counts but that’s more like childish pouting from Seulgi. But this time, she seems genuinely annoyed by Sunmi-sunbaenim’s invitation and Joohyun-unnie’s casual acceptance.

I’ve never seen her ignore Joohyun-unnie this coldly before. Not even when they had a fight when Seulgi got home too late and a tiny bit drunk while hanging out with her friends and she got annoyed at Joohyun-unnie for dictating her curfew. I wasn’t eavesdropping! Well.. I mean I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. How was I supposed to know that they’ll be arguing at 3am in the morning when I just needed a glass of water.

My thoughts are interrupted when our van slows to a halt in front of our dorm. I turn around to wake up the maknaes before lumbering out of the van. The silence as we wait in the lobby for the elevator is uncomfortable. With the maknaes obviously grumpy from their interrupted sleep and Seulgi still stubbornly ignoring Joohyun-unnie’s reproachful gaze.

As we enter our dorm, with Sooyoung and Yerim crashing in their room almost immediately, I half expect Seulgi and Joohyun-unnie to start yelling at each other. But then as Joohyun-unnie opens , Seulgi walks briskly past her and enters our room, slamming the door behind her.

I stare at our door with an open mouth before looking at Joohyun-unnie. She looks at me with eyes filled with unshed tears before she, too, runs to her room and slams the door.

Well, I guess Seulgi won’t be sneaking out of our room tonight. I decide to hang around the living room for half an hour, so I can give Seulgi some time to compose herself, before entering my room too.

Seulgi’s already sleeping. At least, she looks like she is. So I also hastily prepare for bed so I can turn off the lights.

An hour later, in the darkness, it’s my turn to feign unconsciousness as I listen to Seulgi’s soft sobs into her pillow.

•••••

Things remain strained for the next few days.

We’re lucky Yerim had to attend school and Sooyoung is too busy catching up on all the fanmails she missed during Rookie promotions so she’s barely home.

I try my best not to meddle, even if their constant avoidance of each other is starting to get ridiculous. Just this morning, Joohyun-unnie refused to leave her room to have breakfast with me just because Seulgi’s there too.

This is the longest fight that they’ve had since I found out about them. And it’s starting to scare me because it definitely won’t do anyone good if they break up because they won’t talk to each other.

I contemplate all this while I’m in the kitchen while absentmindedly transferring some coffee beans to a different container. I realized my mistake when I accidentally spilled half the bag into the floor.

I curse quietly to myself, dropping to my knees behind the counter to start gathering the beans. I freeze when I hear two doors opening.

“Where’s Seungwan?” I hear Joohyun-unnie’s voice ask out loud and my heart leaps to think that she’s finally talking to Seulgi again.

“I was about to look for her too,” Seulgi replies. Then a thirty second beat of silence occurs. I was about to make myself known when Joohyun-unnie starts talking.

“Well, if you see her-”

“Joohyun-unnie, can we talk?”

I freeze again in the middle of standing up, are they finally talking? Will it be worth interrupting them now? But what if they start ignoring each other again?

I decide to sit back down as quietly as I could.

“Right. So now you want to talk?” Joohyun-unnie’s voice sound cold.

“I…” I hear guilt in Seulgi’s voice before it turns to steel too, “I didn’t know that you were close with Sunmi-sunbaenim.”

She said Sunmi-sunbaenim’s name in a tone that I’ve never heard from Seulgi before.

“That’s because I’m not,” Joohyun-unnie responds.

A sharp laugh that shouldn't have been possible to come out of Seulgi’s mouth rings around the room, “Could’ve fooled me. What with how easily you went with her dinner offer.”

“Seulgi-”

“And what’s with the hug and the kiss? What? So strangers just do that to each other now? Be reasonable, unnie!” Seulgi’s voice is tight with something that I’ve never heard from her before.

“Seul, it’s not like that at all! You’re the one being unreasonable!”

“Then why did you go out with her last night? With just the two of you?”

“Seul-”

“You knew perfectly well that I was mad at you for taking her offer but you still went with her! Do I not matter at all, unnie? Am I just something you throw away whenever-”

A resounding slap rings around our dorm and I had to clamp my hands against my mouth to stop myself from gasping out loud.

“How dare you say that! How dare you imply that I’m not… that you don’t matter to me! I love you, Seulgi! You know that! Since when was that up in contention?”

“Since you hugged her in front-”

“I didn’t hug her-”

“She hugged you, you hugged her, does it matter? The point is-”

“Seulgi! This isn’t any different from the times you went out with Byul! Or with Yooa! Even with Mijoo! We’re just friends, Seulgi! Heck, this isn’t any different from when I go out with Solar.”

“This is different.”

“Oh really? How so?”

“She stares at you too much.”

“Seulgi, seriously? Do you hear yourself right now?”

“She looks at you the same way I do!” Seulgi snaps angrily.

That seems to shut Joohyun-unnie up for a beat. They both stay quiet for another minute or two and I’m starting to regret not showing myself earlier because this really isn’t a conversation that I should be hearing.

“Unnie,” Seulgi’s voice is a lot softer now, “I’m sorry, unnie. I know I sound like such a stupid possessive girlfriend right now but can you please trust me on this? I just.. I don’t want to lose you. You’re mine, unnie, aren’t you?”

“Seulgi..” Joohyun-unnie starts before pausing, “Okay. Okay, I understand. I’m sorry too. It’s just.. I got mad when you started ignoring me and-”

“Shhh.. I know, and that’s my fault. I should’ve talked to you instead of acting like some teenager.”

Joohyun-unnie’s laughs at that and it doesn’t take long before Seulgi joins her. I smile to myself, well that takes care of that. Maybe I should show myself now? But that’ll be awkward.

I contemplate for the next ten minutes not noticing that there isn’t any sound coming from the living room anymore. I snap my head up when I finally registered the silence before sighing and standing up.

I’m glad they worked it out. I start to walk out of the kitchen, intending to get a towel to wipe out some of the dust by the floor. I freeze as soon as I reach the living room.

This time, I couldn’t hold in my gasp and Seulgi, who had been straddling Joohyun-unnie by the couch immediately jumps off, causing her to slide down to the floor in an awkward angle.

“Ouch! What the-, Seungwan? How long have you been there?” Seulgi all but screams at me in a voice an octave higher than normal, cheeks red in embarrassment.

I honestly don’t know which one of us is redder in the face right now as I stand there like a gaping fish.

“Seungwan?” Joohyun-unnie speaks up and I squeak, turning around and slam myself to my room. Immediately locking the door behind me. I try not to think about how Joohyun-unnie’s shirt is already ed and halfway off her and Seulgi is already missing hers altogether.

I jump to my bed, burying myself to my pillows as I immediately search the internet on some bleach strong enough to remove that image from my brain.

Yup. Being the white knight has it perks.

And, also, its downfalls.