I frown at my playlist. There is a sudden influx of sad, melancholy songs. Not just a few new songs, I’m talking about 20 or more new ones. Blinking at all the recently added music, I feel my heart dropping.

Once, when my soulmate added the sound of rain and waves into our playlist, I stayed up for an hour on my bed, listening to it. He must have found it hard to sleep for a few days, because those hour-long soundtracks were only removed after a week. I remembered not being able to sleep well when it was time for me to. I was worried. But when the insomnia blew over, when the soundtracks were out of our playlist, the weight on my shoulders lifted and I felt much better.

Right now, it feels like the last time, except worse. Because this time, it isn’t insomnia that my soulmate is experiencing. It is a heart ache. Not from a breakup, I hope. But still, it makes my heart hurt, listening to the kind of songs he has chosen. I am still going through the newly added songs when a group of people walk past me, their voices low and concerned.

“He left so suddenly,” one of them mutters, voice serious.

I frown and look up, realising belatedly that half the rugby team is walking past. Automatically, weirdly, I find my eyes roaming about the group, looking for the one guy whom I know the name of. He isn’t present.

“Yeah, and in the middle of a tutorial, too,” another one of them says, a deep frown etched on his face.

“I hope Baekhyun’s okay. It’s weird for him to up and leave just like that.”

“He didn’t look very good when he left, either.”

I blink in surprise when one of them catches my eye, probably realising that I have been eavesdropping. Well, this is a common corridor, isn’t it? Many other people are walking through anyway, since it is lunch time. Still, I look away and quicken my pace, getting away from the group of them.

I get to where I normally have lunch at and sit down against the tree, pulling out my lunch. As I unwrap the plastic of my food, I look through my playlist. Four new sad songs. I let out a deep sigh and glance blandly at my lunch.

I don’t have the appetite to eat anymore.

It has been three days. The sad songs have yet to be removed. In fact, they have only been multiplying. It is stupid, too, how my soulmate’s emotions are also affecting mine without even being physically close to me. Through music, I can feel what he feels and as much as it , it only makes me feel closer to him virtually.

I am in the library again, my books opened uselessly in front of me. I tap the back of my pen thoughtfully against my notebook, biting on my bottom lip. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I put the stationery down and press on the home button of my phone. The sad song playing through my earphones is really bringing my mood down. I keep staring at the artwork of the song’s cover, letting my eyes trace the winds and whirls of the art.

Just then, someone pulls the chair out from the table next to me, dumping himself on it before burying his head into his folded arms on the table. Slowly, I take out my earbuds, staring at the newcomer. Is he okay? I wonder. It’s funny how I worry and wonder about things like this yet never really have the courage to do anything about it. So I leave my ears unplugged while I let the songs continue playing, and turn back to reading my notes. The volume is loud enough for my music to still be heard through the earphones.

It is a few minutes later when I am highlighting my notes that the guy next to me lifts his head suddenly, turning to look at my phone. Surprised by his head movement, I cap my highlighter and turn to observe the male. His skin is fair and soft, his nose high and slightly rounded at the tip. His pink lips are turned down and I notice the small mole on the top of his lip. His black hair is covering his eyes. But then he lifts his head even more, blinking at me, the ends of his fringe tangling in his eyelashes.

The moment we lock our eyes, I feel my heart rate quickening, and my cold hands sweating. The darkness in his pupils gives way to a lighter brown that gives me a warm feeling. I swallow and glance at the clock. He should be at rugby practice. Not here.

“Can I listen to your playlist?” The rugby player whispers, making me turn back to him.

I am protective over my phone and my playlist, but looking at the lack of light in his eyes, his eyes droopier than usual, I feel my stand wavering.

“Why?” I whisper back.

He lifts his head and brushes his hair back, parting it. He lets out a soft sigh. “I’m just in the mood for sad songs. I turned off my phone so no one can contact me.”

I cannot help it when I blurt, “Are you skipping practice?”

At least he has it in him to look guilty as he drops his head. “Yeah.”

Staring at how the corners of his lips are turned down, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks so innocently, so sadly, I feel my heart squeezing. And I find myself doing something that I have never done in my entire 21 years of living. I let a guy I barely even know listen to my playlist.

“Here,” I whisper, pushing my unlocked phone to him. “I have several sad songs in there.”

Baekhyun lifts his eyes. They twinkle slightly. He gives me a small, grateful smile. “Thanks,” he murmurs.

I watch him plug my earphones into his ears as he holds my phone, scrolling through my music. I notice that he doesn’t scroll down too far though, just enough to see that I have more than just a few sad songs. I appreciate the fact that he respects my privacy. You wouldn’t have thought that a popular guy like him would actually be considerate of other people’s feelings.

He picks a song and sets my phone between us before folding his arms on the table, going back to laying his head on them. He faces me this time. His eyes are closed and even through the curtain of his fringe, I can see the frown in his eyebrows. I briefly wonder what is bugging him. I watch him for a few more seconds before turning back to my notes. Without music, and knowing that a stranger is holding my phone captive next to me, I am strangely at peace. I am actually absorbing the words on my notebook and my head is clearer.

I have no idea how long it has been since Baekhyun retreated back to his shell but it seems to be at least four pages of notes later that he opens his eyes, frowning. I glance at him and see him picking up my phone, turning the screen to him so that he can read the title of the song. His frown deepens. He sits up unhurriedly, still frowning at my phone like he is trying to figure out something. I am still watching him silently when he takes out the earphones and turns to look at me. This time, instead of the usual unreadable gaze he normally wears, he looks confused, and a little suspicious, if I may say that.

“Thanks,” he mutters distractedly, handing me my phone.

I don’t say anything as I take it back from him and look at the song currently playing. It is one of my new favourites, City of Stars from the soundtrack of ‘La La Land’. I wind the cord of my earphones around my phone as I look up at Baekhyun again. His deep and intense gaze is still on me as if trying to drill holes into my soul.

“Are you feeling better?” I ask awkwardly, feeling a little fidgety from his look.

He blinks and clears his throat softly. “Yeah,” he murmurs, glancing at the watch on his left hand. He sighs. “Training is still ongoing,” he mutters to himself.

Then he looks up again, realising that I am still staring at him. I’m not sure if it’s just my eyesight from reading too much but I think I might have noticed the softening of his eyes. He swallows and says something that I never would have expected a stranger to tell me.

“My dog passed away a few days ago,” he confesses softly. “From old age.”

“What breed was it?” I ask.

He seems surprised by my response but nonetheless answers, “A corgi.”

I set my phone down slowly and lean back in my chair, feeling myself relax even in the presence of a stranger. “My dog passed away from old age a year ago too,” I tell him. There is a moment of silence where I flip through the visual memory book of my dog in my mind. A faint, sad smile paints my lips. I look at Baekhyun. “It was hard at first, too. But when I remembered how slow he moved and how much he was sleeping, I came to terms that at least I gave him the best life he could ever have.”

Baekhyun keeps his eyes on me, digesting my words. Eventually, he looks down and nods his head. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t be mourning for so long. He’s in a better place now,” he mutters unsurely to himself. As if needing someone’s reassurance, he looks up at me through his eyelashes. “Right?”

I bob my head at once. “Right. He’s no longer moving slowly in heaven, at least.”

That elicits a chuckle from Baekhyun. He nods his head thoughtfully, a soft smile on his face. “Thanks,” he murmurs, smiling at me.

At that moment, when our eyes meet, it feels like a bond has been established between us. Despite being strangers, we are now strangers who share the same past of experiencing the death of our canine companions. With our eyes still locked, Baekhyun asks me for my name in a whisper, as if afraid to break this moment, this eye contact. And though I can feel my face heating up, I manage to tell him my name, quiet and soft, only for him to hear.

“Nice to meet you,” he says in a low voice that has my heart racing, his lips spreading a little wider, impossibly giving me a softer smile.

That very day, weirdly, the sad songs in the Shared Playlist were removed. Though my soulmate didn’t apologise or tell me that he was fine through song titles, I still felt better knowing that he isn’t as depressed and upset anymore and that lifted my mood greatly. My appetite returned and I no longer felt as unwilling to go about doing things.

On Monday, as I walk past the field with my earphones plugged in (I’m not going to make the same mistake again, I can already feel stares on the back of my body from the rugby team), someone taps me on the shoulder. I jump at the sudden touch, not expecting anyone to approach me. My heart pounds against my chest and I put my hand to my heart. I look to the side and see Baekhyun grinning at me. I take off my earphones slowly.

“Hi.”

A frown slowly slides on my face. “Hi?”

He clears his throat, eyebrows furrowing as he looks down. “I’ve been trying to catch you on campus but—” His coach blows the whistle then, letting his team know that break time is over. Baekhyun lifts his wide eyes to me. He quickly says, “Anyway, I wanted to thank you for sharing your playlist with me. I know how hard that must have been.”

I don’t say anything, so he takes his hand out from behind him. He is holding a bag of chocolate covered strawberries and I notice that it is from one of the best chocolate places in Seoul. Chocolates from that shop are expensive.

“Here,” he mutters, a little embarrassed. “A token of thanks.”

I blink at him, then at the bag of chocolates. Someone from the field calls out to Baekhyun, making him glance back frantically. Out of panic, Baekhyun darts out to take my wrist, placing the bag of chocolates on my palm. Instinctively, my fingers curl around the plastic. He lets go of my hand.

“I have to go back but enjoy the chocolates?” he tells me uncertainly, unsure of how to end this conversation.

He keeps his eyes on me, waiting for a reaction. Another shout of his name. He sighs loudly before dipping his head. He turns around and jogs back to the field. I glance down at the chocolates in my hand.

I don’t know where I get the courage from but I lift my head and shout, “Baekhyun!” The rugby player turns swiftly, jogging backwards as he faces me. “Thank you!” I lift the bag of chocolates.

He gives me a wide smile, one so beautiful and blinding that it has my heart racing. He raises his hand and waves at me, sending me off before turning back around to sprint back into the field.

“Is it yummy?”

My eyes are wide when I lift my head. Baekhyun is looking down at me, a soft smile on his lips. He darts his eyes to the opened bag of chocolate strawberries on the table that is next to my pencil case, before looking back at me. I take my earphones out of my ears and glance around the library. There isn’t a lot of people here but the few who are present are staring at my table, surprised that a rugby player is in the library. After all, their turf is the field. Not the library.

I swallow the freeze dried strawberry before speaking, “Yeah. Thank you for buying them for me.”

His smile widens. He takes a seat next to me. I watch him take his laptop and earphones out of his duffle bag. Before he sets his bag on the ground, he takes out another bag of chocolates from the same chocolatier as the one I am eating, the one that he had gotten me two days ago.

“Hazelnuts,” Baekhyun says, holding the bag out to me.

I tilt my head at him. “For me?”

His eyes sparkle and that is when I realise that he no longer has that unreadable gaze. Though I have to admit that I still cannot figure him out.

“Yeah.”

“Why?” I frown in suspicion, glancing down at the chocolates in his hand, noticing once again the chocolate chip mole on his thumb.

He doesn’t answer for a while. So I look up, only to see him pursing his lips. Finally, he mutters, like he doesn’t know the answer himself, “I don’t know.”

Despite my timid nature, I find the need to come clean to him, though I don’t know how else to do it without possibly hurting him.

“I’m not like other girls, Baekhyun,” I say quietly. The male looks up at me, his droopy eyes round, the unreadable gaze back. “I don’t date just for fun. I want to wait for my soulmate.”

Baekhyun blinks, his brown eyes morphing from rejection, to surprise. He shakes his head, “No, no! It’s not… I’m not… Me too,” he mutters in a quiet confession. “I don’t date just for fun either. I just… I don’t know why but I just wanted to buy you chocolates,” he finishes lamely.

I look at him, assessing the pink tint on his cheeks and his red ears. Deciding to just end his embarrassment, I reach out and take the bag of chocolates from his hand. He flickers his eyes to me.

“Thanks,” I smile at him. I set the new bag of chocolates next to the already opened one. I have my eyes on them when I joke, “You’re starting to make me feel like I should be giving you chocolates too.”

Baekhyun chuckles softly. “No, it’s fine. I guess I just, I still felt bad listening to your playlist. It’s something personal yet I still asked for it.”

I smile at him, though I don’t say anything to that. I don’t want to lie and say it’s okay, because I am glad that he knows it is sentimental and important to me. But I don’t want to outwardly agree as well, because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

So instead, I ask, “No training today?”

“Bad weather,” he points to the closest window. I look up and notice the grey skies and the heavy wind blowing, causing trees to bend and flap crazily. “Training is suspended for this entire week.”

I grimace, wondering how I will even get home. But that aside, I turn away from the window and face Baekhyun again. He is staring at me. “Why didn’t you go straight home, then? You’d be stuck in this weather if you stay any longer.”

“I’m driving,” he answers easily. I nod in understanding. He an eyebrow at me, eyes dark and unreadable again. “What about you? How are you going home?”

“Bus…”

“I’ll drive you home.”

I stare at him. His answer had been so easy, so quick. It is as if he already made up his mind a while ago and he is simply only letting me know his decision. I open my mouth to retort but I know that I have no good excuse to come up with.

“We can leave after you’re done,” he murmurs, glancing at my notes.

I sigh and nod. Before I turn back to my work though, I tell him, “Now I really owe you chocolates.”

Baekhyun chuckles. “Just buy me coffee,” he relents as he opens up his MacBook. “I don’t like sweet things.”

That’s the first two things I find out about Baekhyun, and about us. Baekhyun likes coffee and I don’t. I like sweet things and he doesn’t. We are two people of opposite personalities, as different as black and white.

I cap my pen and glance to the side where Baekhyun is listening to a lecture with his earbuds plugged in, his slender fingers resting on the keyboard, typing out his notes according to his lecturer. I take a while longer to appreciate the way his black hair rests on his forehead, though a little messily but still making him look dashing. I look away before I am caught staring and pack up slowly, quietly. When I am done, I glance at Baekhyun to see him saving his notes, his lecture video now paused. He plucks his earphones out of his ears.

“Done?” he quirks an eyebrow at me.

I bob my head, popping a chocolate into my mouth. “We can go after you’re done,” I tell him, pushing the chocolate ball to the side, making my cheek jut out.

He glances at my cheek before looking back up at me with a tender smile. “It’s fine. My focus is barely even there anymore anyway.”

So I keep my chocolates and stand up from my seat while I wait for Baekhyun to pack up. Then, we leave the library together. The moment we step out of the library, my hair starts flying in all directions and it is hard to even open my eyes.

“Oh my goodness,” I gasp, clamping my notebook under my chin so I can tie up my hair.

Baekhyun, glancing over and noticing me doing that, tugs on the notebook gently and takes it for me. I thank him, quickly securing my hair in a ponytail. When I am done, I take my notebook back from him. We don't say anything on the walk to his car, mostly because we’re both trying to focus on walking and getting to the vehicle safely without getting blown away. Baekhyun takes out his car key when we are at the car park, a white Audi unlocking when he presses on the button. Quickly, the both of us enter his car, seeking refuge from the incoming storm.

Baekhyun lets out a loud sigh. “That felt like a mission,” he comments as he starts up his car.

I chuckle quietly as I buckle up. “Yeah.”

Baekhyun asks me for my address and I help him to key it in on his GPS. When the route has been calculated, Baekhyun goes to his music and opens up his Shared Playlist.

Our shared playlists are like our diaries that we share with our soulmates. It is not just personal, but very special to us. Or at least, it is to me. So when Baekhyun opens up that playlist, I look away, giving him his privacy.

“Since you let me listen to part of your playlist,” he mutters, pressing on the Shuffle Play button. I turn to him just as a song plays. He glances at me as he shifts the gear. “You can hear a part of mine.”

The song that plays first is Shape of You by Ed Sheeran. It is a popular song and I know that for a fact not just because both our playlists have it, but also tons of other people as well. Baekhyun starts driving and, with the music playing, none of us says anything. After all, through music is how we best find out someone’s personality. Or in this case, the personalities of Baekhyun and his soulmate.

The next song that plays is a song by Jay Park. Though it is not that popular, I wouldn't say that no one listens to it. After all, my soulmate listens to it as well. This song is in my Shared Playlist too. My place is five songs away from our campus and among the five songs that played, I am surprised that they are all familiar to me. What are the odds, right?

“Thanks for the ride,” I thank Baekhyun shyly when he stops outside my house.

He looks away from the window and turns to me, having surveyed the neighbourhood I live in. He smiles pleasantly. “No problem.”

I keep my eyes on him for a moment. I suddenly realise that I don't actually want to leave his car yet. The longer I stare at him, the softer his eyes get, the unreadable gaze that was brought up since I accepted his second bag of chocolate melting away slowly.

“When are you free?” I blurt. Baekhyun raises an eyebrow in amusement, probably already aware that I am not a girl who would simply ask a guy out just for fun and games. “I'll buy you coffee. Or maybe lunch.”

The side of his lips quirk in a soft smirk. He hums. “Friday, lunch?”

I bob my head. “One?”

“Call.”

I have to suppress the smile threatening to display on my lips. “Call,” I say back.

There has not been any new additions or removal of any songs. There are normally new songs added to my Shared Playlist by my soulmate every two days. But this time, there is nothing new. I don't worry too much about it though, only because I find myself worrying about something else entirely.

Baekhyun.

I know I said that I want to wait for my soulmate. And I know he cannot be my soulmate because of how different we are. But the rugby player is just so affectionate in his silent, tenderly rough manner that it makes my heart tremble and my stomach flip. Every time I reach for a chocolate ball I cannot help but be reminded of him and the twinkle in his eyes. For the first time ever, I really hate the idea of having a soulmate. Because no matter how attracted I am to Baekhyun, I can never let myself fall any harder for him.

And I hate it because it is just so easy to fall for him, especially when he comes by the library the next day, studying with me again, and then sending me home, again. Or on Friday morning, when he sees me in the hallway and winks at me, making my heart race. Baekhyun is making it so easy for me to fall for him and I hate it.

Lunchtime rolls around and as I walk to the field to meet Baekhyun, I take in deep breaths to stop my pounding heart from banging against my chest. It works. But only for a moment before I notice Baekhyun already standing there, waiting for me, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. My heart goes haywire and my face heats up. The closer I get, the clearer I notice the smile on his face.

“Hey,” he murmurs when I am close enough.

I don't look him in the eye when I breathe, “Hey.”

He clears his throat. “Where do you want to have lunch at?”

“I’m done for the day,” I mutter, glancing at him. Noticing his heated stare on me though, I quickly look away again. “We can go anywhere you prefer.”

“Okay,” he grins. “We’re going to need to drive.”

Baekhyun takes me to a chicken restaurant about 15 minutes away from campus. I am glad that he chose this because I have actually been craving for fried chicken for the past few days. We take a seat at a table, Baekhyun letting me take the sofa seat on the inside. We peruse the menu in silence for a few minutes.

“How hungry are you?” he speaks up then.

I hum thoughtfully. “Not very, but hungry enough.”

“That's not a gauge for hunger,” he mutters, frowning at me.

Unconsciously, my lips jut out slightly. “I’m just slightly hungry, then.”

Baekhyun’s eyes drop to my lips. His eyes twinkle and he wears a small smile. “I can work with that,” he nods.

So after a bit more of going through the menu, he orders for the both of us a whole chicken and a serving of Mac ‘n Cheese. The waitress takes our menus when she has taken our order, leaving the both of us by ourselves, awkward and quiet. Baekhyun clears his throat after a minute. He rests his arms on the table and clasps his fingers together.

“You know, I still don't know how old you are,” Baekhyun points out.

“You first,” I say. He gives me a playfully pointed look. “You can't just ask a girl for her age,” I defend.

He seems to have a hint of a smile on his lips. He nods, his lips. “I’m 24.”

I frown. “What are you majoring in?”

“Engineering.” As if understanding the meaning behind my harmless question, he mentions, “I took a gap year before entering uni.”

“Ah…”

“You? How old are you?”

“I’m 21.”

“And I assume you do physiology?” he questions.

I bob my head. “I’m studying to be a physiotherapist.”

“Good choice,” he nods.

I smile at him. Baekhyun and I keep our eyes locked again. There are many times where we would just look at each other without saying anything, our eyes simply doing all the talking. But when the waitress returns with a jug of water and some side dishes, I break the eye contact and thank the waitress.

“If you're doing engineering,” I start to wonder as I pour us some water. “Then why are you in our campus so much?”

“Rugby players have the advantage of skipping classes since we’re the star sports team of this uni.” He catches the narrowing of my eyes and chuckles. “You don't see the softball team or the soccer team having their own field in a particular campus.”

“I wouldn't know, I don't go to the other campuses,” I mutter.

He laughs. “Well, however you see it, then. We don't really have to go to school except to attend trainings.”

I nod slowly, thoughtfully. We continue talking over lunch for the next hour. I find out that he is majoring in aerospace engineering which means that he would get to fix planes in the future. I also find out that he lives about half an hour away from uni. There are quite a few things that I learned about him and with each fact and each smile, I am pulled deeper and deeper into the black hole of falling for Baekhyun.

For the first time in my life, I don't want to wait for my soulmate anymore. All I want to do is be with Baekhyun and hear his low chuckle that makes my insides thrum with excitement and peace, all at the same time.