It’s finally over. I sigh upon the air, curve my lip but I cannot laugh. Somehow, my face looks like it is laughing in front of the light coming from the laptop. News comes up pretty fast these days, hah?

Even if I laugh, the sound couldn’t make it to the air. I don’t have enough energy to even make a sound. I might have an ability to foresee all of things, whether if it’s obvious or not. At least, she’s happy now. I’m glad she found that one guy who could make her happy. Sometimes I wonder if she had ever felt happy when we were still together. I wonder if I had ever made her happy too. To be honest, I always feft like I was going to hurt her anyway. But still, that greed of keeping her told me just to keep her to myself. I’m not confident that I could protect anyone, because I can’t even protect myself. But, she was the one that I tried so hard to embrace. I thought I found someone who I could have feelings upon the sky, who I just want to be with. Maybe she was not, sometimes I wish she was. But wishes are always too luxurious, even my wealth cannot afford that.

I reach my phone, scroll down the last message that we share.

“You were the best thing that ever happened to me.” – She said

“I guess best thing doesn’t exist after all.” – That was what I wrote.

“No. Best thing won’t last forever after all.” – That was the last thing she said.

She was. Maybe because she was, so we just have to part ways after all.

I scroll up the phone and then I see the last sentence of that particular one.

“If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

I don’t know if I make an excuse to myself to talk to her, but I just want to. I just need someone to talk to right now.

Got back from the studio, stepping into the home is the most satisfied thing that had ever happened to me. I went straight to my bed, lying down my back to release all the stresses in the long day. I was busy preparing for my concerts, and dealing with haters. The media is still getting eyes on me as well as everything related to my album. They found out other things, which were the frustrated mistake ever that had happened in my career. I could not believe they use some samples without considering and examining, and it just got my child worse. I was so speechless that I could barely say anything. I was too tired to even nag someone. It was screwed up anyway. I just need to focus on the concerts in coming, because I don’t want to let down all of my supporters.

Though, I check the news gradually to keep track with myself. I just don’t want anything else to happen to make it worse. A text preview comes up with no sound since I put my phone in do not disturb mode; still, it indeed surprises me.

Kwon Jiyong: Hey Jieun, are you still awake?

What’s with him? I’m not getting used to these things, actually. But yeah, we’re friends so… it’s alright, right?

Jieun: Hello Jiyong oppa

Jieun: I just got back from work.

Is this too friendly? He didn’t even ask a question for that answer.

Kwon Jiyong: How are you?

Jieun: I’m fine. Oppa?

I’m thinking if I should tell what is on my mind.

Kwon Jiyong: So-so

Jieun: Why oppa?

Jieun: Is there something wrong?

Kwon Jiyong: How are you doing so far? Better?

Jieun: I’m doing fine oppa

Jieun: But

Jieun: Are you alright?

That sentence touched my heart somehow. I wonder if she has some kind of healing power, which was too fairytale when I make sense with my mind.

Kwon Jiyong: Isn’t it too obvious?

Jieun: So you’re not

Jieun: What’s wrong oppa

Jieun: Want to talk?

Kwon Jiyong: Am I bothering you?

Jieun: No oppa

Jieun: Go ahead

I click call. I’m just… tired of texting. (Somehow, I want to hear her voice.)

He calls me. My fingers are frozen. Is is too much? I just want to comfort him and now he calls me. But I think he just really needs someone right now. This is not bad at all, right?

“Hello.” – My voice coys away.

“Jieun ah. Hello.” – His voice feels weird in the phone.

I couldn’t say anything. What am I supposed to say?

“I’m sorry all of a sudden I just call you.” – He says in a low tone voice.

“No no oppa. It’s alright. It’s still early for me.” – I try to be natural as much as I can.

I’m glad this is not a video call because if he sees my face, it’s probably going to be so awkward.

“You always stay up so late?” – He suddenly changes the subject.

“Ah… Recently oppa.”

“Are you preparing for something else? Concert?”

How can he know?

“Wow oppa. How can you know? Yeah I am.”

“I’m just guessing. I’m good at guessing anyway.” – I think he smiles saying that sentence.

“So…” – I try to lead the conversation.

“Oh so… I’m just… in a bad mood.” – His voice starts to tone down – “Then I remember that you say I can talk to you if I can… So… here I am.”

This guy is straight-forward. I guess he’s really in a bad mood now. I wonder what had happened, because he seems like he would not tell everything to me. I’m not that close to him, anyway.

“Oppa. I’m listening. Or if you don’t want to talk about it, I can talk with you about anything.” – Her voice sounds birdy on the phone.

“Anything? Like what?” – I’m amused somehow.

“Oh… like what kind of movie do you usually watch? What kind of books do you like to read? What kind of music do you like?” – She sounds like a child.

“Isn’t it something a fan should know from her idol?”

“Huh no… no oppa.” – I think I heard her laughing in a really small sound – “You don’t really reveal that much right?”

“But isn’t it something not fair for other fans if I tell you only?” – I think I like teasing her.

“Wow really this oppa.” – Her voice breaks out with another refreshing laughter – “So how about talking about your hobbies?”

“Hm? Hobbies?”

“Yeah.” – Her voice becomes birdy again – “Friends always share their hobbies. What are your hobbies?”

“Hmmmmmm. There are a lot actually. Games. Music. Fashion. Movies. Books. Coffee. Instagram. Paintings. Pets. Home… and more.”

I don’t really know how to define the word “hobby”.

“Woa…” – She keeps giggling during his words – “Your hobbies are… a lot… and… similar to me.”

“Hm? Really? You play games?”

“Yes oppa. Who doesn’t like games.” – She again sounds like a child

“Kid.” – I make a random comment.

“What?” – Her voice cracks up

“How about coffee?”

“Oh I don’t drink caffeine oppa. But I like tea.”

“How about fashion?”

“I love fashion oppa. But I don’t think I have a great sense of fashion that much.” – Her voice makes me smile, somehow.

“How about pets?”

“I like cats, dogs and rabbits. I like everything small and fluffy.” – She keeps answering my questions and I find that cute.

Wait. Why am I just answering his questions? This is about him, not me.

“Oppa. You should be one who answers these questions not me. Why do you keep asking me?”

I heard him laughing.

“I just want to know those things. So what do you want to ask?” – His voice sounds better, I guess.

“So… what kind of books do you like?” – I end up asking the same question hoping he would answer me this time for real.

“I don’t read books a lot. But I like reading quotes from books. I like to collect those quotes.” – He mutes for a while before continueing – “How about you, Jieun?”

“I do read a lot oppa. I like fictional and philosophical books. I think it helps to relax my mind. I also like quoting books and rereading it. I use highlights to quote the books actually.”

I don’t even realize how opening I am just because we talk about things that I like.

She sounds so excited. She must like reading a lot.

“Share me some if you have something great.”

“Great oppa. I will send you some. I have a lot.”

We end up talking nothing about my problems. Somehow, the way she is does make me forget about those unhappy things. She keeps asking me questions about my hobbies and my daily life; and when I ask her back, she’s already had her answers with many stories.

I feel like she needs to talk more. She has a lot of things to say, but why does she always act like she’s really shy around people? I remember she had always coyed people away when someone talked to her when we were filming Mudo. I wonder how she had been suffering from restraining to her true self. Wait, am I too certain about her? This is our first time talking on the phone and I already think like I know her so much. I don’t know, but I do want to know her more. She craves my curiosity.

Being friends with her is not that bad at all.

“So what do you like best?”

“Fashion, Art and Music. You?”

“Books, Acting and Music.”

“So I guess we still have Music in common.”

“It’s still my first priority oppa.”

“Same here, Jieun.”