“You’re sure that you never had feelings for him?” – Jiyong’s voice suddenly becomes sarcastic more than ever, though I’m never surprisingly pissed off whenever the topic goes straight to him.

“I… guess so?” – I might want to put the words in a reassuring tone, but it still comes out sounding like a question.

“You’re not sure, Jieun ah.” – He knows me pretty much so why does he even want to ask about that?

I look at him, when his eyes did not direct into this way. We changed from regular phone calls to video calls not quite too long ago, and just because he said that he wanted to see how my workroom looked like, which was very weird of him. And, the weirdest thing was that I had no idea why I hadn’t thought of taking a picture for him instead. But, I think we were cool with that.

And now, getting to see this man’s face everynight lying around his bed (or mostly his sofa) somehow becomes a habit to me.

“Taeyang sunbaenim…” – I try to reminisce how we first met, and how was I back in the old days – “He seems like… something… that I don’t think I can reach onto. He… always seemed far away from me… Even we stood next to each other, I felt like… I would never be able to reach him. I guess?”

Hearing those words, it felt like it came from someone who got rejected by Youngbae. Youngbae is always famous with girls for his gentleman attitudes. He always plays safe, and be cautious with every act. That’s something I always admire from him, something I don’t think I can try.

But it’s weird that those words might sound awful to other people, but I don’t find it that unhappy. It seems like she is happy with it anyway, but I can’t really tell if she had feelings for Youngbae.

I don’t even know Youngbae is aware of this girl, because we never really speak a lot about this issue. He only shows interest in something he likes, so to guess on my own, Jieun might not be his preference?!

“Did you guys even… text each other?” – I hesitate, but eventually say it, hopefully she doesn’t feel bad toward this question.

But she smiles, fortunately.

“No.”

“Really?”

“Oh...” – Jieun makes a sound in , thinking of something before continuing – “I just don’t know what to text. And.. maybe I don’t want to.”

So, she doesn’t even really have feelings for him. I might be wrong?!

“Jieun, you know you keep mentioning him on radios and saying that he’s always your ideal type. You might end up giving the wrong ideas to guys if you do that, you know?”

Again, she laughs. Her laughters are such… peculiar.

“You really think so?”

“Right? You’re lucky that Youngbae doesn’t even consider those words. Imagine you mention a guy to be your ideal type and he completely believes in that and starts to fall for you.” – I try to – “You will be the one who causes the guilt.”

“Nobody knows. Maybe if he does, I might end up liking him back too.”

That’s absurd. I don’t know what is absurd, she is being absurd, or the thing she said.

“So you’re saying that if Youngbae had liked you, you would eventually like him back in a romantic way?”

“Oh… might or might not?”

I intended to joke, but when he gave that condition, it hit me back in the head. I don’t know if I would ever like Taeyang if he were to like me. But he never did, so I will never know. Maybe it’s better for things to happen this way, I don’t want to hurt nobody anyway. The thought of hurting someone like Taeyang even makes me feel better if things happened this way. We’re never anything to begin with, anyway.

“You’re such a weirdo, Jieun.” – I think he puts his phone down.

“Hey, are you mad?”

I wonder if he actually is because he’s not someone who looks like he will be mad at these simple things.

“No.” – He pauses for a while – “I’m just imagining if you guys were ever together.”

“Why?”

“If you guys were together, I don’t think we can be like this now, right?”

I have never really imagined how I and Taeyang ended up being together, just maybe because I never really wanted it anyway; even when he mentioned it, I never came up to a painting of us. But when he says the next thing, I start to imagine how I am right now if we weren't not this close. Somehow, that idea saddens me, as if I would lose something that was supposed to be in my life.

“Probably…” – She hesitates, not fully happy but she still smiles, I could tell – “Still competing to each other?”

“Ah…” – This girl, surely, knows how to joke around. “Now you show your real face, Miss Digital Monster. You admit you’re my rival?”

“Ya!! I just say we’re competing. Don’t overassume my words!!”

Somehow, I don’t think I want to be in the case that she and my best friend were to be together. Somehow, I prefer things going this way. I guess, for having someone to joke around, and giggling at nights, it’s not too bad.

No, actually, it feels good.

“You’re ok?” – He looks tired, based on what he shows right now on his face. That same position, with same face, but something in his face telling me that he’s really exhausted.

He doesn’t answer my questions, instead just sighs heavily.

“Oppa?”

“Hm?” – He actually ignores my first question.

Something might happen?!

“Alright. Want to hear a joke?”

And, he chuckles. What is this? Is he trying to tease me again?

“What’s funny? Why are you laughing? I didn't even say it yet?” – This guy is being ridiculous, indeed.

“You’re.. kinda cute.”

What is this again? Is he drunk? He doesn’t look like that at all.

“Oppa.”

She looks a little confused, does she?

“Are you drunk?”

I think I confuse her. But she’s being this way and I don’t think I can stop laughing toward her. She’s really a relaxing pill that I need whenever ty things happen.

“No, kid.” – I say while still trying to stop my laugh.

“Then, why you’re laughing? You look stressed? Something happens? You’re sure you’re alright?”

“You’re really like my mom, Jieun.” – She really is – “Stop worrying too much, old lady.”

“Ya!!” – She makes me smile, and forget things lately.

“I’m okay now, thanks to you Jieun.” – This time, I’m being honest though – “You’re the best.”

She pulls her face with a big pout, and makes a ‘Pfft’ sound, sarcastically.

“But if you really wants to talk about it, you can Jiyong ah. Remember what I said that I would be here just to talk to you?” – The old lady doesn’t give up easily.

“Did you watch the trailer?”

“Oh. It comes out already?” – He’s busy anyway, he must not hear.

“Yes, busy boy. I doubt if you have time to watch it.”

“I should watch at least to see how you look like in the traditional dress, right?”

“My pleasure, Jiyongie.”

Somehow, I want him to see how I look like.

“Kid.” – He winks – “You’d better be pretty, or you will disappoint this oppa pretty much.”

“Yeah yeah, Jiyong-nim.”

“You’re really going to name the song with that title?” – She widened her eyes, as if it was weird for us to do this.

“Oh. Isn’t it cool?”

“Well… as long as you guys are Bigbang, I think it will become an impact.” – Gosh, her voice sounds so sarcastic.

“Don’t be too sarcastic, Jieun ah.”

“I’m not.” – She grins, while resting her head on the bed.

“Look how you’re comfortable right now? Are you having a good rest, IU-sshi?”

“Yes, I am.” – She closes her eyes while saying. “Is GD-nim having a hard time?”

I choke. She knows how to say sarcasm toward people.

“You’re such a rude kid.”

“Sorry.” – She sticks her tongue out, wittingly.

Just let her be. I go back to the process of searching for songs for the album at the end of the year. It should be fully considered in careful tasks, because it’s a very important album to be honest. Seunghyun hyung will be going soon, and soon to be mine and Youngbae so it’s like a very big mark for our long hiatus.

“That song is great.” – I thought she was sleeping?!

“You’re not sleeping?”

“You should use that song. I like the melody.”

“Really?” – I… actually wrote this for that girl so I don’t know if… this is a good idea.

“It’s still a draft right? I think it really represents Bigbang’s style. I miss this vibe of Bigbang, oppa. It reminds me of the good love songs that you guys have produced.”

Ah, she indeed is a loyal fan to us.

“You’re sure you want to use it for our album?” Youngbae seems confused.

Jiyong nods, without saying anything.

“But… isn’t it about… her?”

“It’s fine. There’s another reason I want to put this in.”

Youngbae bends his head aside, as part of his question.

“I think our fan will like it.” Jiyong grins, even more to confuse Youngbae.

“Oppa. I really like one song in your ONE OF A KIND album, actually.” – I suddenly remember when we are talking about his upcoming album with the group – “It’s so underrated.”

“Which one?”

“It’s ‘Finally’. The girl’s voice is so nice.” – I think somehow, the girl’s voice even fits better than his voice – “Who is she by the way? Is she going to debut soon?”

“No spoiler. But… why did you compliment her instead of me? It’s my song. I wrote it.” – He’s being such a baby for whining.

“Yeah yeah, GD-nim. You’re still the best.”

“Not with that voice, kid.”

“But, really, how can you manage to make the song sounds so sad with that upbeat tone?” – She suddenly says, turning her face upward the ceiling.

Like she said, lyrics really do.

I really like 'Finally' and I fell in love with Rose's voice when her identity wasn't even revealed xD And when IU said she liked Rose I was like OMG me too

It's such an underrated song, you guys should check it out. The lyrics are really sad even when I just listened to the song without reading the translation I could feel the sorrow (how ridiculous I am xD) but yeah, it's really a nice song.

And, last but not least, do you want to try to guess what song I refer to in the conversations of GD & IU and GD & Taeyang? I really think that song is written by GD for his ex but I guess it's just my opinion.

Enjoy guys ~

P.S: Don't forget to support IU for her next upcoming album SHE'S SUCH A GODDESS OMFG