It was dark and cold and raining and Taekwoon knew he was going to be in so much trouble when he got home. He had already been scolded by his parents for playing instead of practicing piano and now they were going to be angry at him for staying out in the cold. Taekwoon curled up tighter in the tube of the playground slide, trying to shield himself from the icy droplets that relentlessly fell upon him. His parents were probably worried sick, but he didn’t want to go home in case they yelled at him. He’d rather just stay on the playground and wait for the rain to stop.

“What are you doing down there?” A voice interrupted his thoughts. “Aren’t you cold?” Taekwoon looked up to see a boy – probably around his age – holding a bright red umbrella. He had never seen him before, and their neighborhood was small. Taekwoon decided right away that he didn’t like him. The boy standing opposite him seemed to shine bright, even in the dampness of the rain. His skin was kissed by sunlight, while Taekwoon had never been blessed in that department. “Hello?” The boy’s voice interrupted his thoughts again.

“No.” Taekwoon replied shortly, shuffling further into himself, ignoring the shivers that shook his small frame. “I’m not cold.” He scowled at the newcomer, hoping that he would go away.

“Well then what are you doing?” The boy bent down a bit, trying to cover Taekwoon’s drenched feet with his umbrella.

“What are you doing?” Taekwoon retorted. He didn’t see why it was so weird for him to be outside if the other boy was out here too.

“I like dancing! I think that the way the water splashes is fun. But Mom made me bring the umbrella just in case I caught a cold.” The boy made a face. “It isn’t as fun with an umbrella. Do you like dancing in the rain?”

Taekwoon had never danced in the rain before. His parents always told him stay inside because they were afraid he’d catch a cold. They always said that he had a ‘delicate disposition.’ He shrugged in response. “I don’t know how.”

“Then do you want to dance with me?” The boy’s face lit up in a smile. “I can teach you!” Taekwoon scooted further into the slide, shaking his head. “Come onnnnnnnn.” The boy whined. “It’ll be fun! And you’ll get nice and warm too!”

Taekwoon didn’t want to shake off his previous impressions of this boy, this boy who interrupted his sulking session with his incessant sunshine. But despite his worst intentions, the cold was getting intolerable, and he was now willing to seek out any solution. Slowly, he let the tips of his yellow sneakers edge off of the slide, before hopping off onto the wood chips of the playground. The boy with the red umbrella beamed in response.

“I’m Hakyeon! My family just moved in!” Hakyeon led Taekwoon over to the sidewalk, where puddles were swiftly forming. Taekwoon scowled at his smile before muttering his name under his breath.”Taewoo?”

“Taekwoon!” He shouted, scuffing water at Hakyeon. He thought Hakyeon would leave him alone then, and maybe he would leave (though maybe Taekwoon didn’t really want him to leave). But Hakyeon didn’t look upset. In fact, he giggled, and soon the two boys were splashing water at each other, drenching their clothes and inciting laughter.

When Taekwoon’s mood finally lightened, Hakyeon showed him how to spin around and kick his feet in the rain. His red umbrella sat on the sidewalk, forgotten.

That afternoon, Taekwoon caught two things: a new friend and a really bad cold.

 

 

If Taekwoon was going to be honest with himself, he had seen it coming. Sunggyu’s texts had become fewer and far between, as did their occasions to see each other. As each ‘sorry babe, I’m busy tonight’ and ‘I was swamped with work, I think I’m just going to go to bed’ passed, Taekwoon knew that there was another breakup looming on the horizon. He knew that he was going to have to re-seal the cracks that had slowly been forming in his heart for the past few weeks.

It just didn’t seem fair. Taekwoon didn’t understand what seemed to be wrong with him. He couldn’t make them love him, of course. But this is how it happened every time. He needed to know. Why was it always him? Why was it that every kiss shared, every date spent giggling over silly romantic comedies, every night spent tangled in the sheets seemed to ignite flames in his heart, but never in his partner’s?

So when Sunggyu asked to come over to his apartment and delivered his final message, Taekwoon wasn’t surprised. He never was. He simply bowed his head, hiding the tears that lined the bottom of his eyelids, and conveyed his understanding. As usual, he texted Sanghyuk that he’d been dumped – again.

Taekwoon didn’t know why he kept texting Sanghyuk first. If he texted Wonshik, he’d probably be curled up on the couch with a latte and a good movie. Maybe Wonshik would even indulge him in bringing a carton of ice cream. He always liked Wonshik’s way of dealing with things. Wonshik understood that even if he looked intimidating, all he really wanted was some food and cuddles.

But no. He always texted Sanghyuk. Which meant that as usual, he was being wrestled into his tightest pair of skinny jeans, the ones that made his ‘fantastic,’ and was being shuffled off to the weird club that SangHyuk went to – the one that had vibes even though Sanghyuk insisted that that wasn’t his scene. Sanghyuk’s version of getting over a bad breakup was to party in a club and grind up on as many single men as possible – bonus points for taking one home at the end of the night.

That was how Taekwoon ended up in Hades, the labyrinth of black cinderblock walls and house music, a haze of cigarette smoke and beer-inundated air. It was there in the dark club – where Taekwoon had been four times before – that he decided to let his inhibitions go free and to accept the freedom that Sanghyuk had given him. He let his head bob unconsciously to the music, and his hips move to the bass that he could feel reverberating through the floor. In his haze, he ended up dancing close to a random stranger, a random stranger whose tanned skin glowed ethereally even through the neon lights and smoke machines. Said random stranger seemed to take interest, sauntering over in equally drunk steps, slinging an arm around Taekwoon’s neck. Taekwoon squinted at him, trying to see his face, but the flashing lights made his dancing partner indistinguishable.

“Want to dance with me?” His voice was smooth, probably the smoothest Taekwoon had ever heard. He nodded, eyes widening at the hands that guided his to narrow hips that swiveled in a way that should be made illegal. He froze when his dance partner pushed his back, grinding it up his front. He was stunned that this man could even move in such a way completely wasted. Taekwoon usually struggled to even stand properly. He had never been a great dancer; he didn’t know what to do. His dance partner seemed to realize this, and slung an arm behind him to guide Taekwoon’s head to his neck.

“Just move with me.” He shouted, slowing down so Taekwoon could follow his movements. Taekwoon could manage this, and screwing up his courage, leaned closer.

“What’s your name?” He shouted. Taekwoon looked at his dance partner’s side profile, green with envy at the tan that he saw there.

“Call me N.” He heard above the din. “And you?” Taekwoon knew that N couldn’t be a real name, that he was probably just going by a pseudonym for the night. He understood. He wasn’t exactly himself tonight either.

“Leo.” Taekwoon caught a glimpse of the smirk that spread across N’s face. They were both aware of the unspoken agreement they had made.

“Well then, Leo.” N gripped his hands again. “Let’s dance.” His voice slurred a bit, but his steps were deceptively sure as he led their dance. For Taekwoon, the lights of the club whirled in swirls of green and purple. He only thing anchoring him was the tight body moving against his, the hand that occasionally rifled through his hair.

Suddenly, N stopped, back hunching over. Taekwoon paused, leaning over to check that N was okay. N stood stock still, a hand clamped over his mouth. His eyes widened as he heaved, hand pressing even harder against his mouth. Taekwoon internally groaned, suddenly sober, clamping a hand around N’s arm to hurriedly guide him to the nearest bathroom.

Luckily, there was an empty stall, to which N made a beeline. He immediately vomited into the bowl, coughing at the acrid smell. Taekwoon wrinkled his nose, but walked over to pat N’s back. Serves him right. He went out to ‘have a good time’ and ended up playing caregiver. He played mother to everyone: SangHyuk, Wonshik, and basically everyone he was friends with. Of course he would end up taking care of a random stranger at the club.

When it seemed like N had gotten everything out, Taekwoon reached over to pull out some toilet paper, offering it to him. N took it with a sigh, wiping off his face and then tossing it haphazardly into the toilet bowl. He stood unsteadily and then tried – and failed – to flush the toilet. Taekwoon rolled his eyes and lifted a leg to flush the toilet. He then took both hands and placed them on N’s shoulders, hoping to turn him around and then guide him to the sinks.

“Okay, N. Let’s wash your hands off.” Taekwoon coaxed, struggling to get the tilting man to turn around. He finally managed, though, and almost let N tip over when he fully turned around.

N.

Except he wasn’t N. Taekwoon’s eyes widened, uncertain at who he was seeing. But his memories served him right. Hakyeon’s tanned skin shone like it always had, sunshine in the darkness of the dark bathroom. The long neck that Taekwoon used to make fun of as a child hadn’t changed, only emphasized by the small bump that was his adam’s apple.

Hakyeon groaned, and there is was, suddenly familiar. His voice was deeper now, but it was unmistakable. Taekwoon had always like Hakyeon’s voice, how smooth it always was. Hakyeon’s eyes opened a bit, and they lit up with drunken recognition.

“You.” Hakyeon pointed at Taekwoon accusatorily. “I know you.” Taekwoon’s heart leaped into his chest. Did Hakyeon remember him? “I think I married you.” Hakyeon managed to choke out before he violently turned around and his head disappeared back into the toilet. Taekwoon lowered his forehead into the palm of his hands.

What a reunion.

‘I think we need to get you home.” Taekwoon muttered, leaning back down to pick Hakyeon up by his armpits after he finished. “Should I call you a cab?”

“No, no.” Hakyeon insisted. His eyes were bleary. “Stay with me, Taekwoonie.”

“Fine, but let me call you a cab.” Taekwoon rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe Hakyeon. What if he mistook a random person for Taekwoon? There were so many ways for this situation to go terribly wrong. He could be kidnapped, he could be assaulted, there were so many potential things that could have occurred. Hakyeon was unbelievably lucky that it was actually him that he was talking to. But then again, Hakyeon had always been helplessly naïve, trusting in any stranger that had been walking by. It was always Taekwoon who had been suspicious, who dragged them away from compromising situations. Taekwoon made sure Hakyeon was sitting down and leaning on the bathroom stall before turning to find SangHyuk. “Stay here, Hakyeon.” He only heard a grunt in response. It would have to do.

Taekwoon headed back through the dance floor, eventually finding Sanghyuk by the bar where he was originally.

“There’s a drunk guy in the bathroom. I’m going to call him a cab, make sure he gets home alright.” He yelled over the thundering music.

“You’re supposed to be getting over your ex, not helping drunk people.” Sanghyuk rolled his eyes. “This is so like you.”

“What am I supposed to do, leave him there?” Taekwoon retorted. “I’ll see you later. Text me when you and Wonshik head home!” He waved at Sanghyuk before heading back to the bathroom. Hakyeon was still leaning against the toilet.

“Hakyeon, are you here with anyone?” Taekwoon called out. Hakyeon barely stirred. “Hakyeon!”

“No, I’m all by myself.” Hakyeon sniffled, eyes suddenly red with tears. “I’m all alone, like always.” Taekwoon felt a pang in his heart, though he wasn’t sure what it was from. Was it from the pain that was clear on Hakyeon’s face? Or was it from how he saw himself reflected in that statement too?

“Okay, well you have to get up for me, Hakyeon, and then I can take you home.” Taekwoon called out. Hakyeon groaned before flinging a hand towards Taekwoon to grab. He did, slinging it over his shoulder to hobble them out of the bathroom. The crowd just barely parted, leaving them just enough room to squeeze through sweaty bodies, slowly making their way towards the exit. No one paid them any notice; drunkards were a common occurrence.

Taekwoon groaned in irritation as they made their way outside. The rain – which must have started while he was inside – drenched him in moments. Immediately, his tight jeans were stuck uncomfortably against his skin and his hair obscured his vision. Whipping his head right and left managed to shift it enough to see, enough so Taekwoon could begin moving towards the street. He supposed that the one good thing about the rain was that it brushed away the remaining fogginess in his mind. He heaved Hakyeon a bit higher to get a better grip, quickly walking them to the curb and raising his hand to wave down a cab. He was lucky tonight, and a yellow cab pulled over almost immediately.

“Hakyeon, what’s your house address? I need it for the cab.” He shook Hakyeon, who was mostly unconscious at this point, hoping that he’d wake up just enough. “Hakyeon!” He startled awake, slurring something out. Taekwoon couldn’t make it out, and shaking Hakyeon wasn’t producing any results. Taekwoon ended up giving the driver his own address after dumping Hakyeon into the car and slumping in after him, frustration marring every syllable he spoke.

Figures. Taekwoon didn’t know what to do with the deck of cards life was handing him right now. On one hand, he would be furious if he was in this situation with anyone else. On the other hand, it was Hakyeon, someone who he never expected to see again.

The drive was uncomfortable. N seemed incapable of sitting up straight, especially with the winding turns and sudden brakes of the cab. He muttered incoherent phrases under his breath and groaned when the driver took a turn particularly sharply. Taekwoon prayed that he didn’t vomit. He didn’t know how much reupholstering a taxi cost, but he was pretty sure that he couldn’t afford it. Through the window, Taekwoon spotted a familiar storefront, turning to pat Hakyeon on his shoulder.

“Almost there, Hakyeon. Two more minutes.” The figure that was slumped into his side only mumbled in response. Taekwoon could only crinkle his nose in response. The violent sting of alcohol and bile fills his nostrils, and he could only hope that it wasn’t transferring onto his clothes. That was a fear that he probably shared with the cab driver, who was only driving more frantically to their final destination.

By the time they had pulled up to Taekwoon’s apartment building, even he wanted to get out of the car due to the encroaching nausea. After paying the fare, he barely had enough time to pull Hakyeon out of the car before the cab peeled away with the sound of tires squealing against the sidewalk. Pulling Hakyeon further upright, Taekwoon glared at the stairs leading up to his apartment before grumpily placing a foot on the first step. Six flights of stairs. He hauled them up. They weren’t fun on a regular day, let alone one when he had to drag a full-grown man all the way up. Hakyeon had better thank him when he woke up in the morning.

When Taekwoon managed to drag himself – and Hakyeon – to his door, his lungs heaved and his skin dripped, with sweat intermixing with rain and dripping down his brow. He fumbled with his keys, awkwardly sorting through them with one hand before finding the correct one. He struggled to balance Hakyeon and insert the key into the lock at the same time. Hakyeon wasn’t helping. At all. He, seeing a door, seemed to be under the impression that it was his door and immediately began staggering towards it, clearly insistent on going inside. Taekwoon just managed to get his door open when Hakyeon charged inside, immediately running straight into a couch and falling over, nearly upending it. Taekwoon hurried to switch on the lights before wrestling Hakyeon up and dragging him towards the bathroom.

Taewoon wasn’t super sure what to do. He could just drape a ton of towels over the bed and let Hakyeon sleep, but he also didn’t want to be responsible for him catching a cold. On the other hand, he didn’t want Hakyeon’s vomit-smelling clothes to permeate into his regular blankets if he was actually going to tuck him in. He wasn’t a saint. He compromised, sitting Hakyeon down on the toilet while dashing into his room to grab a t-shirt.

“Hakyeon, put this shirt on. You have to sleep.” Something must have registered, because Hakyeon immediately began tugging away at his jacket, unceremoniously dumping it into the shower before ripping his shirt off over his head. Taekwoon reached over for the towel and roughly began drying him off before tugging the clean shirt over his head. “Okay, take off your jeans, you don’t want to sleep in those, do you?”

“No.” Hakyeon responded petulantly.

“Good. Now get those off and I’ll just set up your bed for you, ok?” Taekwoon called while moving out of the bathroom. He headed towards his cupboard and pulled out every single spare towel he had and his machine-washable blanket. He laid all of the towels flat on his bed and went to go retrieve Hakyeon, who had succeeded in following his directions. Taekwoon laid Hakyeon down on his side and draped the blanket over him, remembering to place his trash can just next to the bed.

His job for the night was done. All he needed to do was shower, change, and then camp out on the couch and try to forget the entire disaster that was the entire situation.

 

The next morning he was startled awake by a screech.

“WOONIE?!” He sat up, awake from the panic. Hakyeon stood there, pointing an accusing finger at him. “What are you doing here?” Hakyeon glanced down, realized he was only wearing his underwear and covered his already-covered privates in panic. Taekwoon scoffed. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen everything anyways. Yes, it was almost two decades ago, but regardless.

“What do you mean what am I doing here. It’s my apartment.” Hakyeon peeked to the side at his words, taking in his unfamiliar surroundings.

“Oh. Right.”