It’s three in the morning and Kyungsoo is sitting on his mother’s restless lap. Her bunny slippers are tap tapping away at the cold tiles of the hospital floor and Kyungsoo lifts his chubby arms to rub at his face tiredly. He’s just celebrated a year of life two days ago and his head is still un-proportionately large compared to the rest of his tiny body. His little nose is sandwiched in between a pair of wide, clear eyes and plump, pink lips. He should be sleeping, he’s able to catch some shut eye even sitting up and pressed against his mother’s chest, but the yellow light bouncing off the blaringly white walls does nothing for him and there’s not enough white noise in this place. Kyungsoo lets out a little frustrated groan, burying his head into his mother and blowing a raspberry.

“I’m not stopping you from sleeping sweetheart,” his mother smiles, tired eyes looking down at him and a soft hand smoothing back his wisps of hair. He had been a lucky baby and had popped out with a thick head of black hair and a strong pair of lungs.

“I don’t know if you want to sleep anyways,” she continues to coo at him, slipping one of her fingers into his tiny grasp so he could squeeze at it. “The baby will be here soon.” Kyungsoo sits up straight at the mention of ‘baby’, one of the few words that he really understands. He places his two palms against his own chest and pats himself. He’s a baby. At least Seungsoo still calls him a baby.

“Bae!” He exclaims, patting his chest again.

“Jiwon and Jisoo are getting a new brother today,” his mom nods. “A baby just like you,” she pinches his little nose and he scrunches it up, rubbing the small itch away with his hands. There’s a stumble of feet in front of him and he twists his body to look at whoever had just joined them in the hallway.

“Pa!” he waves his hands at the sweaty man.

“Hello Kyungsoo,” he gets a ruffle on the head, “thank you for taking Eunmi to the hospital,” the man turns to his mother, “I tried to get here from work as fast as I could.”

“It was no problem,” Kyungsoo’s mom smiles. “Once I got her call, I knew that it would take too long for you to get home and then to the hospital. Seungsoo was sleeping at a friend’s house anyways so it was just me and Kyungsoo.”

“Do the girls know yet?” the man asks, nervously glancing at the door and then down at his wristwatch.

“I left a message with your sister. I’m not sure if they’ve checked it yet,” Kyungsoo’s mom answers. “Are you excited? It’s your first boy!”

“My first boy,” the man smiles proudly, bending down to Kyungsoo’s height and looking him in the eyes. “You guys have two, time for a girl so that we’re even.”

“Oh we’re done,” Kyungsoo’s mom laughs. “Kyungsoo can play with your boy but I’m not popping out a girl for him to marry.”

“Okay,” the man laughs back, “Kyungsoo can just marry Jiwon or Jisoo then.” Kyungsoo doesn’t understand what they’re talking about so he just turns his body and snuggles back into his mom.

“Eunki said that he’ll be here after his shift his over,” the man continues. Kyungsoo’s eyes brighten up at the mention of his father’s name. All of a sudden the doors swing open and the man turns quickly, anticipation shaking in all his limbs.

“It’s a boy,” a nurse announces happily, “7 pounds and 5 ounces. Dad can go in and see him now.” It’s not even a second later that Mr. Kim is out of the hallway and into the operating room. Kyungsoo is cranky now, his irregular sleep schedule finally catching up to him and he lets out an impatient whine. His mom begins to bounce him in his lap and a little while later, a thin blanket is wrapped around his shoulders. Before he knows it, he’s asleep and the whole world seems right again.

When Kyungsoo wakes up again, he’s snuggled against his mother’s chest but they’re not in the hallway anymore. Instead, they’re rocking on a chair in a teal colored room with soft lighting. He’s incredibly comfortable, tight and warm against his mother’s bosom and he should still be sleeping but there’s just an aura in the room that keeps tugging his eyelids open.

“Mum?” He mumbles out loud sleepily, tiny palms reaching for her face.

“Hi baby,” His mother leans down to kiss his nose. “Do you want to meet Jongin?” Kyungsoo doesn’t understand what she’s saying but then she lifts both of them off the rocking chair and he’s set on the bed where Jiwon’s mom is holding a blue bundle in her arms. Her smile is so wide and her eyes are filled with so much love.

“Hi Kyungsoo,” Jiwon’s mom looks up and smiles at him. “This is Jongin. He’s going to be your best friend.”

Kyungsoo is confused and he tilts his head, looking at her with his eyes growing wide. She looks back down at the bundle and feeling very curious, he lifts himself off his and leans over to peer into the blanket. The thing in there is very red and very wrinkly and Kyungsoo thinks it might be the ugliest thing he’s ever seen, even uglier than Seungsoo. He pokes the thing’s cheek out of wonderment and two seconds later, the loudest cry he has ever heard rings throughout the room. Kyungsoo slaps his palms over his ears to drown out the screeching noise and squeezes his eyes shut. If he can’t see the thing maybe it’ll disappear. He’s lifted off the bed and back into his mother’s arms and a few minutes later the crying has finally died down and the ugly thing seems to be sleeping again. There’s a knock on the door and Jiwon’s dad pops in along with Kyungsoo’s dad and the boy reaches his arms up for his dad.

“Pa,” he calls out as he’s swooped into strong arms and attacked with scruffy kisses.

“Jongin just fell asleep,” his mom tells the two dads as they crowd closer towards the bed and the new baby. Kyungsoo looks at the baby again and turns his head away disinterested, resting his chubby cheek on his dad’s broad shoulder instead.

“He’s a handsome one,” Kyungsoo’s dad comments with a deep laugh. “He’ll be a heartbreaker when he grows up.”

 “He and Kyungsoo,” Jiwon’s dad laughs back. “They’ll be our little troublemakers.” Ten minutes later, after cooing over the new infant some more, the Do family finally gets around to leaving the hospital. Kyungsoo is sleepy again, his eyelids falling shut longer with each new blink. His dad’s shoulder has always been just as comfortable as mom’s chest.

“Did you like the new baby?” His dad asks, the soft bounce of his steps lulling the one year old to sleep.

“Bae,” Kyungsoo mumbles, trying to find that place where his head fits just right. “No,” he decides lifting up his head one last time and looking at his dad. “Bae bad. Bae cry,” he tells his dad before dropping his head back down.

“Kyungsoo cries too,” his dad teases him as he’s set down in his car seat and buckled in.

“Good,” Kyungsoo pats his own chest. His parents say something else but Kyungsoo tunes them out, leaning his head against the padding of his car seat and letting his eyes shut.

Jongin’s first year of life is filled with Kyungsoo. His mother works a full time job so after her maternity leave is over, he spends his days at the Do house because Kyungsoo’s mother is a stay-at-home mom and also right next door. Baby Jongin cries a lot. He’s incredibly sensitive so even the slightest wetness of his diaper or change in temperature can set him off. His stomach also gets upset easily so he has a special, expensive formula to drink and a fancy bottle designed to prevent air from getting into his tummy. Jongin also doesn’t like being alone but he doesn’t like being with strangers so he cries whenever he’s left with someone who isn’t mom, dad or Mrs. Do.

One day, Jongin is lying on his back on a mat in the middle of the living room. He hasn’t seen Mrs. Do face in a while and his separation anxiety is kicking in along with the frustration of not being able to roll over so he can see something else besides the white ceiling. He kicks his feet and squirms but nothing happens so he does the only thing he knows how to do, he opens his mouth and cries. He cries like his little heart has been broken and stepped on and like he’s experiencing the greatest sadness that has ever been experienced. Big, fat droplets of tears begin to blur his eyes and stain his chubby cheeks and he squirms around more trying to flip himself over.

“No,” he hears a stern voice next to him and a poke on his cheek. Jongin startles at this and blinks, trying to clear his eyes. Another boy’s face comes into focus and all Jongin can see now is big eyes and an un-amused pout. He knows this boy. It’s the kid who always sits across the room and stacks blocks together and colors on the walls when Mrs. Do isn’t looking. It’s the kid who steals Mrs. Do from him.

“Bae bad!” The boy shakes a finger at him. “Bae cry! Loud!” He puts his palms over his ears and shakes his head. Jongin looks at him before squeezing his eyes shut and crying some more. He barely gets four seconds into a good cry before there’s an even harder poke on his cheek. Jongin opens his eyes again, mouth stuck in a mid cry.

“No!” Kyungsoo scolds him again. “No cry! Bad! Bad!” Jongin whimpers and sniffles at the same time. He doesn’t like the look on this boy’s face. He wants Mrs. Do back. Afraid of getting poked again, Jongin stays quiet, lips pursed in a pout and tears welling for the moment he hears Mrs. Do footsteps so he can let it all out and be saved from the little terror still looking down at him. Kyungsoo plops down next to Jongin and pokes his pudgy stomach instead.

“Hungry?” he asks Jongin, peering over his face. Jongin doesn’t respond, following the movement of the boy with his eyes instead. “Pee pee?” Kyungsoo wonders, grabbing at his own diaper and wincing when he feels how wet it is. Jongin lets out a little giggle at the silly face Kyungsoo made. The sound makes Kyungsoo smile too and he scrunches up his face again, the way that Seungsoo does when they play together. Jongin giggles some more and brings his legs up so that he can touch his toes. The boy is funny now and Jongin doesn’t feel like crying anymore. They spend the next five minutes with Kyungsoo making weird faces and sounds and Jongin is giggling and clapping his hands and feet together. When Mrs. Do finally returns from the laundry room, she’s surprised to see Kyungsoo lying next to Jongin, her son putting himself down for naptime and even more surprisingly, Jongin isn’t crying his heart out. The five month old has Kyungsoo’s ring finger engulfed tightly in his grip and is smiling at the ceiling.

From that day on, the duo is inseparable. When Jongin is lying down, Kyungsoo is next to him, babbling about nothing and everything at the same time. When Jongin is in his bouncer or rocker, Kyungsoo is sitting next to him, handing him toys that the baby can hold onto and wave around. Jongin watches from his tummy as Kyungsoo rolls around the living room, thinking that Jongin will be able to copy him. The toddler even attempts to flip Jongin over sometimes but his mother catches him in the act.

“Jongin is fragile,” she reminds him for the tenth time that day as she changes his diaper. Jongin is still on his tummy, palms smacking the floor as he babbles and drools.

“Bae roll!” Kyungsoo only demands pointing at Jongin.

“He will roll over when he’s ready,” she pinches his nose lightly. Jongin eventually does roll two days later, right onto his side and into Kyungsoo’s napping body.

When Jongin is learning how to sit, Kyungsoo likes to sit behind him and support him. He wraps his chubby arms around Jongin’s plump tummy and pats it. Jongin leans back and rests against Kyungsoo all the time. Kyungsoo is still a lot bigger than him but they like to stack blocks together. Once Jongin is finally sitting upright by himself he learns how to throw things. Blocks and small toys fly across the room and loud laughter is heard as Kyungsoo scrambles around collecting Jongin’s launched treasures and returning them to the baby only for them to be sent enthusiastically across the room once again.

Jongin’s teeth grow in and he begins to eat soft food at snack time with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo loves food and he always sits patiently and waits as his mother spoons out food. He gets a little frustrated when he starts sharing snack time with Jongin because the baby is so slow at eating and gets good food wasted all over his mouth. Kyungsoo’s eyes anxiously watch the spoon pass from the bowl to Jongin’s little mouth and then he scoots closer to his mother, knowing that it’s his turn next.

“Kyungsoo what is this again?” His mother asks as she pauses holding the spoon to his mouth.

“Nana,” he answers excitedly clapping his hands together. Jongin copies him and blows sticky bubbles out of his mouth.

“Ba-na-na,” his mother sing songs as she sticks the spoon in his mouth. Kyungsoo lets the spoon slide cleanly out of his mouth and he swallows, a hand rubbing at his belly. He loves eating nanas so much.

“Jongin’s turn,” Mrs. Do turns and says to the baby now. Jongin claps his hands excitedly and bounces his little body up and down.

“Bae eat nice!” Kyungsoo pats Jongin’s head gently.

“Jong-in,” His mother tries to each Kyungsoo the baby’s name.

“Bae eat nana,” Kyungsoo says instead, getting impatient because he wants Jongin to eat so he can eat again.

“Jong-in,” she repeats looking her little boy in the eyes. Words can be so hard for children to learn sometimes.

“Nana!” Kyungsoo points to the bowl and then at Jongin. “Nana! Nana! Nana!”

“Oh come on Soo,” she whines at him. “Just say Jongin one time. Jongin-nie would like it if you learned his name.”

“Nana,” Kyungsoo continues to chant, kneeling now and pounding his little fists on the couch. “Ni eat nana!”

“What?” his mother teases him, finally scooping up some mushed bananas and feeding them to the baby. Jongin grabs the spoon and smears bananas all over his mouth and nose.

“Nini!” Kyungsoo gasps in shock at all the food over his face. “Nanas!” he points at the mess. “My nanas! Mum Nini eat nana bad!” he tells her.

“Nini?” His mother asks, watching as Jongin chomps down on the rubber spoon to ease his incoming tooth.

“Bae Nini,” Kyungsoo says scooting closer to Jongin. He leans forwards and gives the baby a big kiss, the banana mess of Jongin’s cheek. “Nini yum,” he giggles cutely. Snack time ends in tears for Kyungsoo though when Jongin accidently whacks him in the nose with the spoon.

In the middle of fall, Jongin gets a cold and Mrs. Kim takes a few days off of work to take care of him. Kyungsoo is confused when he wakes up and Jongin’s body isn’t next to his in the crib so he stands up and cries. His mother comes in quickly and picks him up to calm him down.

“Nini?” he asks sadly as he cuddles in his mom’s hold.

“Nini owie,” she explains to him simply. “Mum doesn’t want Kyungsoo to have owie so Nini stays at home with his mommy so he can feel better.”

“Nini sad?” Kyungsoo asks, looking up at his mom.

“Maybe,” she answers, wiping away the crusted sleep in his eyes.

“Soo sad,” he replies with a trembling pout and big, puppy eyes. “Soo want Nini.”

“Oh sweetheart,” she kisses his forehead. “He’ll be back in a few days. You can play with Seungsoo.” Seungsoo steals all the good blocks from him to build a big tower and then gets mad when Kyungsoo knocks it down.

With Kyungsoo’s influence, Jongin practically skips the crawling phase all together and goes right to standing and walking. Kyungsoo can sort of run now and he’s too fast for Jongin to keep up with so the little one tries his best to take the wobbly steps needed to get closer to Kyungsoo. Sometimes Kyungsoo gets a little too excited and knocks over Jongin and other times he’s calm enough to hold Jongin’s hands and take little steps with him.

“Nini walking good,” he announces proudly to his mom when Jongin slowly waddles over to a stuffed bear on the floor and bends down to pick it up before stuffing it in his mouth.

“Yes Nini is good now,” Mrs. Do smiles, pulling in her baby for a hug and kiss.

“Soo help!” Kyungsoo tells her, pointing to his chest proudly.

“Soo is a good boy too,” she pats his gently. “Mum’s good boy.” Jongin wobbly turns on his heels and heads back towards them, the saliva soaked bear in his grip as he waddles as fast as he can towards Kyungsoo. Mrs. Do is afraid that he’ll miss a step with his uneven gait and fall but Jongin somehow makes it to Kyungsoo. He drops the bear in favor of wrapping his short arms around Kyungsoo’s belly and kissing the older boy’s chest. Jongin has just learned how to give out kisses and his favorite person to kiss is Kyungsoo. In the morning when his mom drops him off in Kyungsoo’s crib he’ll smacks his lips against the sleeping boy’s cheeks and he likes to kiss Kyungsoo when they’re playing too because Kyungsoo smiles so big and Jongin likes that smile. Kyungsoo has more teeth than him and they’re so pretty.

“Nini like Soo,” Kyungsoo grins widely at his mom, wrapping his arms around Jongin and patting his back. “Soo like Nini too.”

The two of them celebrate their birthdays together. Kyungsoo gets upset when Jiwon tells him that Jongin should be the one to blow out the candles on their shared birthday cake because it’s Jongin’s first birthday and Kyungsoo already had his special first birthday. He cries in his dad’s arms, big tears blubbering down his face as he tries to rip the uncomfortable party hat off his head. Seungsoo and Jiwon are arguing now about who gets to blow the candle and Jongin is taking his afternoon nap. Kyungsoo wishes that he would have gone down for a nap now too instead of choosing to play with the train set Grandma and Grandpa got him.

His dad unfortunately sets him down to go help fix something in the kitchen and Kyungsoo sniffles and climbs onto the couch where his baby blanket is. It has little blue penguins all over it and he wipes his sticky face with it before throwing it over his head to block out all the noise from the party. He folds his legs against his chest and closes his eyes. Maybe he can take a nap here for a little bit. All of a sudden, he can feel the blanket slipping over his head and he flickers his eyes open to scream at the culprit who is disturbing his alone time.

It’s Jongin, all wide eyed from his nap and grinning at Kyungsoo with the four little teeth in his mouth. He has his own baby blanket, covered in bears, in his hands and he waves both blankets at Kyungsoo, blabbering little noises at the other birthday boy.

“Nini,” Kyungsoo smiles back at him, leaning forward and reaching down to help tug the boy up onto the couch. It’s quite a struggle because Kyungsoo has little arm strength and Jongin’s stubby legs can’t seem to get off the floor but they eventually get it right and both of them are sitting on the couch, watching the nature documentary that Grandpa Do has playing on the television.

When it’s cake time, Kyungsoo and Jongin are put next to each other, standing on the kitchen chairs and the glowing cake is put in front of them. It was decided that Jongin would blow out his candle first and then Kyungsoo would blow out the last two. Jongin is mesmerized by the flickering flame and he reaches out to touch it but his dad stops him in time. Kyungsoo takes his hand in his and squeezes it tightly. Then people start singing and Jongin is confused at first but when he realizes its for him he grins, all his gums and four teeth showing and claps his hands together, one still interlocked with Kyungsoo’s.

“Now blow Jongin!” He can hear his mom say. He looks at her and she’s making a funny face. He tries to copy but nothing happens. Then his dad and his sisters are also making funny faces and everyone else is making funny faces and he looks at Kyungsoo because he’s the only one not making that weird face.

“Nini blow,” Kyungsoo points at the cake. “Nini first.”

“Soo,” Jongin points at the cake. All the weird faces and sounds and flash photography stops. His first word. Jongin just said his first word.

“Nini,” Kyungsoo says again.

“Soo,” Jongin smiles at him. He knows it stands for Kyungsoo. He had been waiting so long to say it and today during this special occasion it finally came out of his mouth.

“Okay babies how about together,” Mrs. Kim sighs, noticing the candle wax beginning to drip. “On the count of three, Kyungsoo you help Jongin blow out the candles.” Kyungsoo nods excitedly but Jongin doesn’t look at the cake. All he can see is the glow spreading across Kyungsoo’s tiny face and he’s enchanted. They start counting and then the room goes dark and there’s cheering. The light turning on finally snaps Jongin out of his little daze and he looks around the room. The cake sitting on the table looks squishy so he reaches out and grabs it, squeezing a handful and liking the way it squishes in between his fingers. He brings it up to his mouth to taste it, accidently missing his mouth and smearing most of it over his cheeks and nose instead. Everyone laughs at him including Kyungsoo.

“Nini yucky,” Kyungsoo giggles before leaning over to his cheek.

“Soo,” Jongin pushes his caked fist affectionately into Kyungsoo’s face to share more. The party ends with both of them messy with cake and soaking in the bathtub together with Jongin’s new rubber duckies and lavender bubbles. Kyungsoo kisses Jongin smack on the lips when he has to leave and Jongin’s last sleepy words as he’s tucked in for bed is a soft, “Soo”.

Jongin’s next sixteen years of life are full of Kyungsoo. Until one day Kyungsoo is gone and no one really understands why, especially Jongin.

Author's note: A birthday gift for Tina <3 She's a great friend who also puts up with me and my midnight Kyungsoo rants and listens to my crazy fic ideas that hopefully will all come into fruition one day! Happy Birthday Tina! I'm sorry that this is all I can do for you but I hope you enjoyed this anyways!

On another note, the second half of this fic will come whenever it's complete (hopefully I don't take forever...) and it's a lot heavier than this first half. I can't wait to share it with you guys! Thank you <3