Then There’s You to Love Me

The night lights are illuminating the streets below. It is quiet in the small apartment and Donghae is left in an eerie silence. Only the faint honking of cars and screeching of tyres can be heard through the thin glass of the closed window.

Donghae silently stares outside, watching the city lights rival the little shining stars in the dark sky. Donghae often wonders if the stars are as beautiful from a close up as they look from thousands miles away. His mother used to tell him that stars have their own light. They carry people’s wishes and hopes, bring happiness and brighten up people’s lives with their light.

It has always been his leisure activity. Sitting on his wheelchair beside his bedroom window, Donghae stares at the sky when he is too tired. He watches the stars blinking repeatedly whenever he is too tired to think about his problematic situation, consoling himself that everything will be okay and he will shine again. Just like how the bigger stars dim a little before shining again.

Three months ago, Donghae was too careless. He was driving his motorbike too fast and when a little girl appeared in front of his bike, he tried to save her and ended up crashing into a roadside tree. All he could remember at that point was that everything hurt but his legs hurt the most. There was unbearable pain in his legs and it hurt so much that Donghae wanted to die.  And when he woke up in the hospital, surrounded by white walls and the horrible smell of medicines, he couldn’t feel his legs.

Donghae panicked and screamed, touching and gripping his legs, trying to feel them, feel something – anything. But how much he tried, he couldn’t. The doctor said that he needed therapy before he could walk again. It was three months ago. But there has been no progress. And now Donghae has become too tired to even try to move them because it’s too painful.

With a little struggle, Donghae reaches to open the window, letting the comfortable wind seep into his lonely apartment to greet him. The sounds of the cars can be heard louder now and Donghae feels a bit better. The noises coming from outside ease his loneliness a little, letting him breathe in relief. He is suffocating from not going outside for the past months. Everyday the physician comes in the morning to treat him and makes him do some exercises. Donghae’s thighs hurt when he tries to lift his legs. And so he hates those sessions. He has never been strong enough for pains like these.

Sighing dejectedly, Donghae turns his wheelchair around and glances at the wall-clock hanging on the wall, discovering that it is already late. It’s time for sleeping and so Donghae heads towards his bed, guiding his wheelchair forward. After much struggle, he manages to get on his bed and drapes the blanket over his body. He turns off the bedside lamp beside his head and clutches onto the warm blanket, trying to steal a little warmth in his body. His weak figure curls into a tight ball of loneliness, fading into silence and darkness.

“Thanks a lot, bro,” Donghae flashes a slight smile at Henry who grins in response, “No problem, hyung. Do you want to eat something?”

Donghae’s eyes twinkle slightly, “Yeah, can you buy some ice-cream for me? I haven’t eaten one since so long!” Donghae pouts a little.

Henry chuckles at his friend’s childish behavior, “Okay, hyung! I’ll be back in a few minutes. Wait for me here like a good boy and don’t go anywhere, okay?”

Donghae gives the younger male a thumb up, “Okay! It’s not like I can even if I want to.” He pats his thighs with a chuckle and shakes his head a bit, “Got no strength here.”

Henry smiles a bit at Donghae’s enthusiasm and then walks off to one of the stores that sell the best ice-creams. Donghae watches Henry cross the road with a small smile tugging his lips upwards, feeling amazing to be out of his dark apartment again. He called Henry, one of his closest friends, earlier to accompany him outside and the younger male gladly did so. Henry was glad that Donghae finally decided to step outside after confining himself in his house for such a long time.

Donghae is tired of sitting on his wheelchair most of the time and wanted to sit on the park bench like other people. He wanted to feel like a normal man who is not handicapped. And he is really thankful because Henry lifted him up and helped him sit on the bench, putting away his wheelchair in the younger man’s car.

Even if he can’t move his legs, Donghae feels better and his heart feels lighter now.

Inhaling the nice air, Donghae closes his eyes and thinks of the times he came here with his other friends after class to hang out. They were a bunch of idiots fooling around like kids and the other people of the park often got annoyed because of their behavior. These memories are always close to his heart and keep him going even if he feels tired of being a burden to others.

Donghae has lost himself in his thoughts, watching the tree leaves dance in the afternoon breeze and birds flying from branch to branch. Little kids playing at a distance cheerfully reminds him of the little girl he saved months ago. He often wonders if that kid is alright or if she got hurt.

Spaced out with his own imaginations, Donghae gets startled when someone slumps onto the bench beside him. Yelping in surprise, Donghae stares at the man occupying the space next to him with wide eyes.

The stranger is panting heavily and laughing at the same time. His purple hair is covering his forehead and a cap is resting on his head, giving the impression of his carefree character. He is dressed casually and has a backpack on his shoulders which makes it obvious that he is a student in University. Donghae guesses that he is probably in his early twenties like himself.

The stranger suddenly stands up and waves at the direction he just came from, shouting loudly with a mischievous smile, “You should run faster, professor!”

He bends over with another force of laughter and clutches on his stomach, trying his best to calm down. It makes Donghae curious and he leans forward - hands placed on the bench beside his hips to support his body so that he won’t fall forward while trying to poke his nose into other people’s business – and tries to sneak a peek at what the other man is staring at.

An amused smile tugs the corners of his lips upwards when he sees a man probably in his late fifties - with quite a healthy and big belly, he notes – struggling to run forward while making angry faces at the university student.

The stranger with purple hair finally notices him and grins in a friendly manner before sitting beside the startled blonde man, “Hi!”

Donghae nods his head and returns the smile with a little difficulty. Now that the stranger’s attention is fixed on him, he feels uncomfortable for peeking earlier.

“Sorry for disturbing your peaceful time. I’m Eunhyuk,” the stranger apologizes politely and offers his hand for a handshake.

Donghae eyes the white wrist and lean fingers for a couple of seconds before finally accepting the hand and shaking it slightly, “I’m Donghae.” He introduces himself in return.

“Are you here, alone?” Eunhyuk asks, shifting a bit so that he is facing Donghae who notices that the slight hint of smile never leaves his face. Maybe that’s his charm, he thinks.

Donghae answers with a slight shake of head, “No, my friend just went to buy ice-cream.”

“Do you come here often? I never saw you before,” Eunhyuk asks curiously. For a moment, Donghae thinks that the other is only asking questions to keep the conversation going but when he looks into the man’s eyes, he can see the genuine curiosity in those orbs.

“I used to,” Donghae hesitates a little, thinking how he should answer, “but it’s been months since I came here.”

Perhaps Eunhyuk notices his hesitancy because he drops the matter. Instead, he rummages through his backpack and pulls out a candy bar. He unwraps the cover and breaks the candy into halves, holding it forward in front of the other man, “Here, take it.”

Donghae widens his eyes and is planning to refuse when Eunhyuk laughs, “Don’t try. It’s not like you’re a kid that you need to be conscious of strangers and can’t eat something given by them” Donghae notices a mischievous twinkle in the other man’s eyes, “And if you think I am a bad guy, you can just make a run, right?”

Donghae laughs at the joke and even though he is thinking, I can’t make a run even if I try; an amused smile is plastered on his face. He takes the candy and takes a bite, making an approving noise at the sweet taste. He likes sweet things a lot and he has been missing out any sweet food for the past months because his physician says that it’s not good for him to eat those. Donghae makes a note to thank Eunhyuk later for it because he is too busy enjoying the treat right now.

As he lets the chocolate fill his taste buds, curiosity gets the best of him and Donghae can’t resist asking the question running in his mind since he met the man, “Um, if you don’t mind, can I ask a question?”

Eunhyuk smiles and nods his head, “As long as it doesn’t cause my life, I’ll answer anything.”

“Why was that grandpa chasing you?” Donghae finally asks as he his lips to gather the chocolate smeared on them, not letting it go to waste even a little.

Eunhyuk bursts out in laughter which makes Donghae startled. He watches as the stranger howls in loud laughter and teardrops gather in his eyes from laughing so hard. Eunhyuk finally catches some breath and grins, “Grandpa? I like how it sounds. I am calling him grandpa from today, hahaha.” As his laughter dies down, he sits straight and answers Donghae’s earlier question, “He is a professor in the University I’m in. He is a grumpy man and gave me an F on my assignment just because I told him that he has bad handwriting. So I punctured all the tyres of his car. That’s why he is chasing me now.”

Donghae chokes a laugh as the situation sinks in his brain. It is so damn funny! He tries to suppress his laughter by pressing his palm over his mouth but in vain. “All he does is eating, sleeping and being grumpy all day! Who does he think he is?” Eunhyuk continues, grinning widely while watching Donghae endearingly. He looks adorable when he smiles, he notes, gazing at the other with intrigued eyes.

His head snaps forward when he suddenly hears an overly rough and angry voice yelling, “Lee Eunhyuk, you brat! I’m going to see the end of this.”

Before Donghae can comprehend anything, Eunhyuk stands up and runs, laughing loudly while mocking the elder man who is trying to chase after him with equal speed and angry steps. “Got your energy back, professor?” He yells and the turns around, walking backwards, “I hope we’ll meet again, Donghae!”

The blonde watches with wide eyes as the two men sprints, feeling a new kind of energy fill his body.

And from that moment, Donghae decides that he wants to run like that again.

He doesn’t even realize that he has finished his bar and bites on his finger by mistake. He smacks his own head and gets more excited when he sees Henry arriving with delicious ice-cream cones.

“Why do you look so happy?” Henry asks upon seeing the bright smile on his friend’s face.

“Just met someone interesting,” Donghae replies before he snatches his favorite ice-cream from his younger friend and takes a bite.

A week later, when Donghae opens the door of his apartment, he is greeted with a tight hug almost choking him initiated by his elder brother. Donghwa refuses to let go when Donghae slaps his arms to be free of the deadly embrace and finally breathes in relief when Donghwa notices his struggle and breaks the hug. Donghwa mutters over and over how happy he is that Donghae finally decided to make an attempt to socialize again and the younger brother is surprised. He never told his brother that he went out and he wonders how he got to know.

Later, when they are inside the apartment, Donghwa reveals that it was Henry who told him and he also admits that he left his office as soon as he knew to come and see his precious younger brother. Donghwa tells him that he has to go out with him again today and Donghae immediately refuses. But much to his displeasure, his elder brother ignores his protests and declares that they are visiting a nearby café. And before Donghae can change into better clothes, his wheelchair is being guided out of his apartment building.

“It’s good to see you walking around the streets again,” Donghwa says when they almost reach the café.

“I’m not walking!” the younger protests which earns a laughter from his brother who tells him that he will. Soon.

As Donghwa lifts him up and sets him down on a sofa in one corner of the café, Donghae glares at him saying that he can do that by himself. It’s true because he lives in an apartment all alone in spite of being handicapped. He doesn’t let any of his family members or friends accompany him because he doesn’t want to burden them with the duty of taking care of him.

Donghae sighs dejectedly and rests his back on the sofa as Donghwa tells him to wait for a couple of minutes and walks towards the counter to give orders. He looks out of the glass window, watching how people are hurrying over to places they need to go. The busy streets remind him of how much he misses driving his bike.

Donghae flinches as loud laughter and cuss words invade his ears. He looks up at the café’s entrance and sees a bunch of university students coming in. They are too loud and Donghae can see the obvious hint of irritation on the other customers’ faces. One of the waitresses glares at them and gestures with her hand to lower their voices.

As the newcomers settle down on a large table at the other corner of the café, Donghae catches sight of familiar purple hair. His eyes are squinted as he confirms that one of the boys is the same stranger that he encountered a week ago.

The noise quiets down a bit as the group make themselves comfortable.

As Donghae realizes that he has been staring too long and it’s a rude thing to do, he averts his eyes and rests his back on the backrest of the sofa again.

Donghwa comes back with a girl wearing the café’s uniform accompanying him. They are laughing shyly while chatting with each other and Donghae can see a hint of pink on his elder brother’s cheeks and a pure look of surprise crosses over his face at the realization that his brother likes the cute girl.

When they finally reach his table, the girl – who, Donghae is sure, is a student working part-time in the café – sets down two cups of hot coffee in front of him and Donghwa sits down beside him, “So, my little brother, do you want to eat anything else?”

Donghae glances at the girl with pigtails standing beside their table for a second and then smiles at his brother, “Won’t you introduce us, hyung?”

The pink hue returns to Donghwa’s cheeks and Donghae chuckles, trying to stifle his laughter with a fist. Donghwa glares at his brother and clears his throat, “Uhm….this is Bomi. Bomi, this is Donghae, my brother.”

Bomi smiles cutely and waves her hand, “Hello, Donghae, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Donghae nods his head in acknowledgement and smiles a little, “Well, I have never heard about you before.”

Donghwa elbows Donghae under the table to shut him up and laughs nervously, “Uh-huh…..Donghae-ah, why don’t you tell her what you want to eat?”

Bomi smiles sweetly at Donghae and the blonde man knows that she will wait to take his orders. He also notices how she keeps stealing glances at his brother and Donghae grins inwardly because, Is she trying to impress me? The younger brother of the man she likes?

It’s the perfect chance, Donghae thinks, eyeing the delicious looking cupcakes – all variety of colors catches his eyes with the most agonizingly tempting icings on top – arranged in a line inside the glass counter. From the moment he has set his feet inside the café – which also sells sweet looking cupcakes, he notes – his eyes have not left the site of the display glass. The cupcakes inside the display glasses look so yummy that Donghae knows that they’ll taste even better on his taste buds. He thinks he can eat them all day long and he won’t even mind if his stomach bursts.

But he knows that Donghwa won’t even let him touch any of those because his brother is very much over-protective and also painfully strict about him eating extra sweets. Damn his Doctor! Why did he have to say that it was bad for his condition?

But now that there is another person present who also happens to be his brother’s crush, Donghae doubts that Donghwa will scold him in front of the girl. He has a tiny hope that his brother will let it pass for this one time.

So, making up his mind about which color he wants, Donghae his lips in hunger and finally voices his wish with bright twinkles in his eyes, “Can I have a tiny little cupcake, please? The blue one?”

The blonde man regrets it immediately as he watches his brother’s eyebrows furrow in disapproval, “Donghae, how many time do I have to tell you that you are not allowed to eat sweets?”

Donghae pouts and his face becomes gloomy, “I know, whatever.” He knows that arguing with Donghwa won’t get him to anywhere. So, with a dejected face, he tells Bomi that he doesn’t need anything who, smiles awkwardly and leaves the two brothers together. The mood gets better in a few minutes and the brothers start chatting and laughing regarding many topics. But that particular blue cupcake never leaves Donghae’s mind.

Later Donghae notices Bomi leaving and he asks the girl if her shift is over. Bomi smiles that same sweet smile and says that, yes, her shift indeed is over. With a lot of persistence and a few curses leaving his mouth, Donghae finally manages to make his brother run after her, making him promise that he won’t come back inside the café unless he secures a date with Bomi. Donghae has to use tricks like he won’t ever let his physician inside his apartmtment if Donghwa doesn’t confess today to her.

Finally, when he is alone, he sighs heavily and drops his head on his arms on the table. As he is mourning over his failure at eating what he wants, he hears the sound of a chair being pulled followed by a thud of someone sitting on it. Looking up, Donghae finds a man of purple hair and gummy smile grinning at him.

“Why do you look so remorseful?” Donghae laughs because Eunhyuk asks him a question without even saying hello as if they were friends for years when in reality, they have only met once before.

“My brother won’t let me have that cute blue cupcake,” he complains with a slightly whiny voice, playing along with the role of long-term friends.

“Why not?” Eunhyuk raises a brow in amusement.

“Because the doctor said so,” Donghae mumbles out the words because he is sure now Eunhyuk will ask if he is sick or not. But instead, what comes out of his mouth is a statement, “So, that’s yours.” The purple headed man gestures at the wheelchair beside Donghae.

Donghae nods his head slightly, feeling nervous because he is expecting Eunhyuk to spare him a pitiful look and show him sympathy. Because that’s what he has been getting from people who finds out about his accident. Donghae bites his lips in worry though he has a feeling that the university student is not going to pity him.

“Does your doctor hate cupcakes?” Eunhyuk offers with a thoughtful expression.

Donghae cackles in laughter at the absurd question. Eunhyuk is something else, he decides. The