Nothing feels better than having someone by your side when things are tough. You were the first boy in our company, I knew you felt lonely when all other trainees were girls and our sunbaes. It must have been hard for you to train by yourself but not too long I came along. We were both shy at first, manager-hyung dropped me off at our dorm and you didn't notice I was there because your busy cooking for a little dinner for two.

"Jonghyun-a, come here I'll introduce to your new bandmate." manager-hyung said and that caught your attention. "Oh hyung, I'm sorry I was busy cooking dinner." The first thing I saw was your smile, it fluttered me. "Let me introduce you to your bandmate, Choi Minki" I didn't heard it at first because I was busy looking at you but then "Hey, I'm Kim Jonghyun nice to meet you. Lets be friends" You smiled again and that is where everything begins.

 

FAST FORWARD

 

"Minki-ya, can you pour me a glass of water?" Aron-hyung is always acting like he's the maknae of our group. He have lots of aegyo in his body. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and comes back to the living room where everyone were. Baekho and Minhyun is busy watching tv while eating popcorn and JR obviously reading some manga book. "Ah hyung stop doing that, you're always ruining my hair" Aron hyung messed with me again. "You're so cute Minki-ya" Aron-hyung said while giggling at me. I sighed. I continued watching tv when my phone buzzed.

 

JR: Minki-ya, lets get some coffee.

 

I was surprised Jonghyun texted me when his just one seat away from me. I look at him and his already starring at me then I nod. I got up off the sofa and went to our shared room to change clothes. "Guys, we'll just head outside for a while" then we went out of the dorm. 

We went for a walk then we saw a small cafe and decided to enter. "Jonghyun-a, why all of the sudden? I thought you want to finish your manga book before we enter the show. We only have 3 days before that" You look at me before saying "I just want to have sometime with you" I paused for a second and ignored my fluttering heart. "Oh Aron-hyung likes this cinnamon bread, I should--" you cut me off "Can you please stop thinking anyone when you're with me?" I was stunned. "Jonghyun-a, what are you talking about?" you were starring at me. "Can't you just look at me this time? Only me." I saw how your eyes were full of saddness and my heart just keeps on beating so fast. "This past few weeks your always with Aron-hyung, I saw you playing with him at the cough last night while watching tv, You went out with him yesterday for shopping and now your thinking of him while you're with me" I was confused. "What are you saying Jonghyun-a? Of course we'll be leaving for the show, hyung will be alone that's why I want some time with Aron-hyung" Why are you all sudden acting like your jealous. "I think I like you" You said while looking at me "I'm sorry but, I like you Minki, I really like you" 

I like you

Hearing that from someone you liked since you met him would be wonderful. I was on cloud 9, Jonghyun likes me too I thought my feelings for him was only one-sided-love but no. "I know I didn't show it much but I really do like you Minki-ya, ever since you walked in to our dorm. You were my first friend, roommate, you were their when things are hard then I thought my dream was only to become a singer but now my dream is to be with you and you added colors to my white canvas." It felt so magical. Your confession inside the cozy cafe while cinnamon bread and cafe on our table will always be the perfect moment for me.

 

Or so I thought everything will be okay.
 

 

MNET PRODUCE 101

Produce 101 started we are all nervous about this show. This is our last shot, we have to be strong. Minhyun got C and Baekho, JR and I got D. Its okay we're not always D, we just have to prove them that we're worthy to be here. Other trainees we're feeling uneasy because of us having debuted already and having fans but we're desperate thats why we're here. We came back as trainees for our dreams. In the first 2 weeks everything were good. Minhyun-a will stop by and greet us in the D room, Baekho was focusing on his dancing, I were catching up with some steps but you suddenly changed. You were training so hard, even when we're having break you're still infront of the mirror watching yourself dance. "Jonghyun-a, have some rest first" I was worried. "Later, I'm fine I'll just have to memorize some steps." I brushed it off, I know your working hard because you're our leader and you have to show strength.

 

Evaluation came, Minhyun got a D card, Baekho stayed at D and I got an F card, I was ashamed, while I was walking out the door to go to F room I was looking for your eyes to comfort me to give me strength but I got nothing, you looked away. I was devasted, I'm sorry if I didnt do better but I did try my best. Why did you ignore me? Are you ashamed of me? I know there's a reason, I shouldnt doubt you. You got a B card and I'm happy.
After filming we got called down to eat dinner, I was expecting you to eat beside me but as you entered the room you walked straight to Minhyun's table across mine. I was searching for your eyes but yet again you didnt look at me. All the pain in my heart since this afternoon I've ignored it because I know you have lots of something going in your head, some burdens of being a leader of a flop group. I'll give you time to adjust, I'm always here. 

 

Next morning, we don't have something to film they gave us time to get to know every trainees. Of course, we're on a different group. You we're with Minhyun and I'm with Baekho. I saw you laughing with your group, seems like your having fun with them. You didnt notice me, I was hiding behide the wall I just want to check on you if your doing fine now. "Minki-hyung, why are you there? Our group is looking for you we're going to play" Gunhee saw me, "I was just looking for something, okay I'll be there" I looked at you for a sec again and left. I thought you're okay already, I thought you're back with your oldself but I was wrong. I tried to approach you after all the activites of the groups but "Jonghyun-a, seat beside me at dinner" I said while hopefully smiling..."Oh..I'm sorry Minki but I promised my group that I'll be seating with them at dinner" you said while avoiding my gaze and walking towards your group "Oh okay thats fine, maybe next time" I felt it now, I dont know why but seems like your getting further away from me.

 

You're drifting away from me 

 

I was stressed, my groupmates were starting to notice. I've been spacing out while practicing. There were so many things in my head especially on why are you ignoring me, did i do something wrong, did you find someone else, did you fall out of love? I can't think of anything but that, thinking of you falling out of love with me I didnt even notice tears flowing out of my eyes when Gunhee just hug me all of a sudden. "Hyung, its okay" "Everything's fine" "Let it out hyung, I'm here" I just hug him and burst out all my tears. I'm tired physically, mentally and emotionally. Little did I know, someone was looking at us outside the glass door of F room. "Hyung lets go to our room, lets get you some rest" Gunhee said while supporting me to walk to our room. I sleep for an hour or two before Gunhee wake me up for dinner. We walk together to get some food and he help me to get some seat for the two of us. I feel a bit good, I let out some stress through crying and Gunhee takes care of me and always asking if I'm okay. "Hyung eat this egg rolls, eat eat eat!" Gunhee said while giving me his egg rolls. "Okay okay, i'll eat dont be so noisy" I jokingly said to him. He's a great friend. As I was eating the egg rolls I saw Jonghyun walking out of the room, I looked at Minhyun and he's giving me an odd stare.

 

Later that night I went out of our room to get some water when I saw Jonghyun seating on one of the chairs. I just went to get some water without greeting him then "Are you happy now?" I was confused if he's talking to me but we're just the two in the kitchen "What are you saying?" I calmly said. Jonghyun slammed the table "You like him?" I dont understand "What?--" Jonghyun stood up to face me "Gunhee! Are you happy with him?" I slapped him "How dare you? Don't act like you're jealous when the entire time you ignored me like I was nothing!" "Why are you talking to me right now? I thought we're strangers. You're better off without me, right? We're nothing but trainees competing here nothing more nothing less so please, lets not talk each other anymore" I said it while I'm on the verge of crying, I tried to walk away but you grabbed my wrist "Minki-ya, please I'm tired" I looked at you and saw your eyes full of loneliness but "I'm tired too" I run to my room and shut the door while crying because my heart still beats fast for you, I'm still inlove with you Jonghyun-a.

I'm still inlove with you and it hurts

 

The next morning, some noticed my puffy eyes because of crying last night. "Hyung did you cry last night? Gunhee asked me while practicing our dance. "No, I just rubbed it too much earlier while washing" then I walked outside the room to get some air but "Minki-ya, you should talk to Jonghyun. He keeps on making mistakes in our practice I know there's only one thing that can bother him and its you." Minhyun cornered me. "Are you blaming me? What are you talking about, we're nothing" I was walking away when Minhyun said something "Our company threatened him, they threatened him that they will not help you to get into the top 11 if Jonghyun didn't stay away from you." silence was between us "What are you talking about? It doesnt make sense" Minhyun hesitated to answer me but "Our company knew about your relationship with Jonghyun, you do know that dating is forbidden in our company but still you two hide it from us, I know this because Jonghyun said it to me you don't have to hide it from me and Jonghyun been suffering for weeks by ignoring you and seeing you with Gunhee or someone else." Stunned while thinking of how it must have been so hard for Jonghyun suffering all by himself when its their relationship is being at sake. "I didn't know"..."Of course you didn't know, Jonghyun been trying to find ways to fix the problem by following our company's condition for you to continue and be safe here" "Please, don't give up on Jonghyun" MInhyun said before he walk back to his group. 

 

Everything happened so fast, I thought Jonghyun was tired of me because all I did was to be a shame to our group not getting into top 11 every ranking evaluation. I thought he doesn't love me anymore. 

 

I was walking to our room to change when I saw Jonghyun standing outside, Jonghyun saw me and hugged me instantly "Minki-ya, please don't leave me. I'm begging you, I don't know what would I do without you, I'm nothing without you. I'm sorry for everything I don't want to lose you I just can't please" my heart is breaking seeing Jonghyun cry like this, he's too strong to be crying like this.
"Love, I'm here I won't leave you" You looked at me with tears still in your eyes, I wiped those tears on your cheeks "I love you, you dumb. Why didnt you tell me about the company?"..."I don't want you to stress anymore, I know your stressed being at the F group and I'm trying to fix it but it end up you hating me and getting close to someone else. God knows how I tried myself from tearing you apart from Gunhee while he's hugging you" I laughed at what he said "He's a friend. But you can't blame me, you ignored me like I was nothing I was so confused if we're still together or you were just waiting for the right time to break up with me." 

"I won't break up with you not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

 

I smiled, hearing those words washed all doubts running throught my body. Jonghyun is back, my bugi. We tried to convince our company about our relationship, we promised them that nothing will be a problem in the future and we'll just hide it and we'll always be careful. Thankfully with lots of effort our company let us keep our relationship. Minhyun, Baekho, Aron-hyung and the company only knew our relationship. We participated until the very end of the show and ended up Minhyun getting into top 11, we're so proud of him. Its okay for us to wait for Minhyun, 1 and half year is nothing compared to 6 years. We gained more fans because they saw our talents and how much we want to do this. Our company created a sub-unit called NU'EST W. We'll be promoting and giving back love for our fans through our musics while waiting for Minhyun to comeback. We're waiting. 

 

-------------

"Jonghyun-a, look at this comment it says 'Jonghyun-oppa! Why are you so handome? Please accept my heart, waah will you marry me?' ugh why are kids saying this kind of things, they're still so young"
"Should I reply 'Lets meet in the future and lets see if fate did its job'?" Jonghyun smirks.
"Oh okay" Minki says quietly, Jonghyun smiles and say "Or better yet I should say 'I'm sorry, but I think I found the one for me and he's shy but have different qualities and goes by the name Choi Minki' sounds great, right?
Minki blushes with those words and hit Jonghyun's chest playfully "I love you, Jonghyun-a"
 

"I love you too, my captain rabbit"

 

END