Not taking notice of you is the single hardest thing to do. You were just so charismatic, your aura was all over the place that even when you just walk past by, everyone’s heads turn to you – all their eyes are glued to you, as if you were some kind of magnet pulling everyone else’s attention. Me included.

Girl crush. This is the best way to describe you. There’s no other way to put it.

Whether it’d be a guy or a girl, everyone would always stare and gawk at you whenever you pass by. Who wouldn’t? I know I wouldn’t.

I still remember the first day of class when I saw you in the hallways first thing in the morning. I seriously didn’t think you’d notice me but you did. And I awkwardly said hello back. Then much to my surprise when I met you again, in the classroom this time. Who knew we’d be classmates/blockmates?

Okay. I won’t deny. I had a crush on you the first time I saw you. I just didn’t tell you.

Cause I was scared and a coward and everything you can think of that’s synonymous to those words.

And then who knew we’d be roommates too! Surely, I didn’t. It was as if fate was teasing me – we keep on meeting each other and there’s no way we can’t not meet each other. And I won’t deny, I kinda liked it. No, scratch that. I LOVED it.

I can’t help but smile whenever I think of those times.

Out in the distance, thunder rumbled in the sky and a cold breeze suddenly blows, sweeping past fallen leaves on the ground away to wherever the wind will lead them.

“Ya, Kim Yongsun, why are you telling me all these now?” you asked, cutting me midway from my narrative.

A huge lump in my throat suddenly materializes and my mouth suddenly gets dry. I don’t know how to respond – it’s like my brain has stopped working.

“I – it’s …” I stuttered.

Damn it, Yongsun. Just tell her already.

“Yongsun-ah,” you

“It’s because I’m sorry!” I blurted out.

I looked at you and you were taken aback.

“Sorry for what?” you asked, baffled.

“I’m…” I started to say, nerves working their way down to the deepest recesses of my soul. “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

“Can’t…” your voice broke and trailed off. I know you know what I’m talking about. It was obvious in your voice. “Can’t what?”

But you still asked.

I hung my head low, avoiding your gaze. “I can’t accept it. I can’t accept your love. I’m sorry. He – Eric had it all this time.”

Lies!

Silence. Nothing but silence.

And then you chuckled. I looked up at you and saw sadness in your eyes but only for a split second. And then you laughed for real.

“I can’t believe you fell for it!” You were already gripping the table for support. There were tears on your eyes. And that laughter echoed all around the room, booming and haunting my senses.

“What?” was all I could say.

And then I laughed along.

“Waahhh ~ Yongsun-ah I didn’t know you could act so well,” you said after wiping your tears away from your eyes. “You know you will ace this project with that acting skills of yours. Why didn’t you take up the path of being an actress, anyway? You surely have the looks for it and the talent to match, too.”

I was too immersed in the moment to even tell the difference that we were just acting. It was so real, which is a good thing because I don’t really want to fail this project.

I chuckled. “Well, thanks Byul-ah but you know I love singing way more than acting.”

“I know, I know,” you smiled at me. “Well, glad that I could help with your project. Good luck on your drama tomorrow!” you said while slowly making your way out of the room, heading out to go somewhere. “Make sure you don’t waste my efforts of helping you,” you deadpanned. “Bye!”

With a huge grin once again pasted on your face and a crazy sparkle in your eyes, you shut the door and disappeared on the other side.

The very next day I saw you smiling at me. You had that silly, adorable smile on your face. It was regular to see you suddenly popping into the room so I just went back to sleep after I returned your smile.

And then I was brought back to reality.

Everything was just a dream.

How I wish.

But it wasn’t a dream. None of it was. Everything was real. It was only in my head that it wasn’t real. Well, don’t they say that once a truth is so painful to accept, we start to think of it as a lie and create our own fantasies where everything turns out a little bit better and there are no painful conclusions to that story? We start to create our own versions of reality when the one we have is too painful to bear and remember. We create our own realms borne out of fragments from our own experiences.

It reminds me of that famous art technique.

What was it again? Oh, decalcomanie. Yes, just like decalcomanie.

And alas, everything always comes to an end no matter how much we don’t want them to. There will always be a curtain call no matter how much we want the show to continue on and on and on.

And that was it – the curtain dropped and the show was over.

“Well,” I start getting up, wiping the dirt from my pants, “I’ll come visit again soon. Wait for me, okay?”

I smile sadly, trying to hold back tears from my eyes.

“I hope you won’t get tired of my face coming here to visit you frequently. You know I don’t want you to feel alone.”

My tears betrayed me. They fell like waterfalls on a rampage, despite my best efforts to stop their flow.

“I’ll come by again soon. See you next time, my moonstar.”

And I bid farewell, my footsteps heavy against the hard stone walkway.

A drizzle has started, the clouds finally giving up the moisture it held in its hands for so long, letting out a cry, nature’s cry. The tiny droplets of rain land on the cold, hard, tombstones as I walk by, my heart as heavy as my steps, as I drag myself away and out of the cemetery.

Everything was perfect.

Take note: WAS.

And then it wasn’t. All it took was a moment’s hesitation on my part and everything went downhill from there. I still had you, you still had me but it felt like some barrier was growing between us. And then that accident happened and you were gone. Just like that.

I never really had the chance to say goodbye then. You were already gone before I could have gotten even close to the hospital. I never had the chance to say my farewell then which I hated, and now I always get to say hello and goodbye over and over without missing anything, which I hated even more. I don’t get to miss anything, nothing, except you.

If only I could rewrite things, I definitely would’ve changed my decisions. But I can’t. And that would forever be my greatest mistake and biggest regret – being a coward and not choosing you.

“Please don’t hate me…” I mumble as the last of my tears fell.

I hate myself enough already, though others don’t. I wonder why. But yeah, Moonbyuli, my moonstar, don’t hate me even though I know you probably already did and still does wherever you are right now.

But I still hate this the most in the world: your name and the words ‘In loving memory…’ in one place together.

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Hello everyone! Got a continuation for this cause it seemed incomplete with just decal and without comanie hahaha (Okay, I just thought that maybe I should've just made this a Wheesun fic cause you know they are decal and comanie but yeah too late for that hahahahaha)

I know this is just short but I hope you liked it. I didn't wanna make it longer or too long because it would lose its appeal and well, the hurt factor mwahahahahahaha (or maybe that's just me?)

Anyway, this is all for now! Happy weekend everyone!

P.S. If you have any comments, suggestions or violent reactions, I'm open to ideas hahahaha so don't hesitate to comment it down below. Also, thank you to everyone who has read this and my other fics so far. I really appreaciate it guys ~  In the future, I will continue on improving myself so you won't have to deal with messy writing all the time hehehe. Thank you thank you very much!