im sorry this took like, a year

 

 

 

"Kihyun!"

Kihyun exhales slowly. For a moment, he could not breathe. He thought that he forgot how to breathe but now he realizes that he really could not breathe because he was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug.

"H-hoseok," Kihyun gasps out, "I-I can't br-breathe," Are hugs even supposed to be this tight? Does everyone in this school hug this tight???

"Ah, sorry." Hoseok's hold on Kihyun loosens but he doesn't let go, his voice not hiding his threatening sob, "I just missed you so much. Where have you been?"

Kihyun immediately feels bad for his past, crybaby friend. He puts a calming hand on the blonde's broad back and is about to answer when he hears a clearing of throat.

Kihyun blinks, taking the whole situation in. Minhyuk's mouth is exaggeratedly gaping, his and said Minhyuk's hands actually still connected since the time he and Kihyun were both about to leave, all of the students around them staring, Hoseok's boyfriend crossing his arms-- holy .

He hastily pulls away from Hoseok's embrace and flinches away from Minhyuk's hold on his hand. Never mind that he doesn't really want to part with the warmth and that Hoseok was dejectedly pouting. It was Hyungwon! And he might get the wrong idea!

"Get ready," Minhyuk whispers, putting an arm over Kihyun's shoulder, replacing the cold from Hoseok's absence with his friendly warmth, "Don't mind his words,"

"Ehem," Hyungwon clears his throat once more, a sassy eyebrow raising and a scowl forming on his beautiful face. Kihyun was too late. Hyungwon already has the wrong idea.

"Who might this be, Wonho hyung?" Hyungwon clicks his tongue, eyeing the shortest in judgment and scrunching his nose in distaste. Kihyun immediately files Hyungwon into his "rude af people who don't deserve " list, or, in simpler terms, stuck-up s. But you really couldn't blame him, could you?

"Oh, Hyungwon!" Hoseok acknowledges his lover's existence happily. Kihyun doesn't know if he should be annoyed or grateful for Hoseok to interfere at the right time. Kihyun was ready to snap the lanky boy in half. "Meet Kihyun! My hero!"

"Your what," Kihyun snaps out of his review of The Commandments.

"You are my hero, duh." Hoseok giggles, turning towards Hyungwon, "He was my best friend; the one I kept telling you about!"

Hyungwon scoffs, "This is the Kihyun? He looks too.." he gesticulates, "Boring? Plain? A bit ugly? You sure you got the right person, hyung?"

Kihyun's ears tingle, "Um, excuse me-"

"Hyungwon," Hoseok cuts off in a reprimanding tone. "You being rude is a real turn off,"

Hyungwon rolls his eyes and whispers a 'whatever'. Kihyun is about to fight but Minhyuk distracts him.

"There's the bell!" Minhyuk interrupts, pulling Kihyun closer to him. "Let's go, Kihyun! See you later, Wonho hyung!" Kihyun gets hastily pulled toward the exit.

Kihyun looks back to see Wonho who was waving them both goodbye and Hyungwon... glowering towards him.

Kihyun remembers Minhyuk's reminder of not getting on Hyungwon's bad side.

But it seems like he already landed himself trouble on his first day.

--

"Was he always the jealous type?"

Kihyun, doing his best to be an understanding person, asks Minhyuk as they were walking back to class.

"Who? Hyungwon?" Kihyun nods. "Yeah. He hates people touching his stuff," Minhyuk chatters, intent on changing the topic, "By the way, how do you know Wonho hyung?"

"Wonho?" Kihyun thinks back to the situation earlier, "You mean Hoseok?"

"Yes!" Minhyuk turns to look towards him and points, "He's the school idol, you get me? It's like an unspoken rule that he shall not be tainted nor touched! Only medium rare steak can come near him! Near! Still no touching! But you!"

Kihyun slaps Minhyuk's cheek lightly, passing him on his walk, "Minhyuk, calm down. Don't shout,"

"He hugged you!" Minhyuk screams, "And he called you his hero,"

Kihyun sighs, "Why are you so dramatic?"

"Because people worship him!" Minhyuk runs after him, "How come he was so comfortable with you? How can you call him by his real name so comfortably?"

"Quiet down," Kihyun scolds, "It's nothing special. Actually, I lived here 10 years ago. We went to the same primary school. We were neighbors. We were best friends. That's it,"

"Oh?" Minhyuk gasps exaggeratedly, "No wonder he was so glad to see you! You were best friends!"

"Why do you always speak with exclamation marks?" Kihyun whines exasperatedly.

"I like noise," Minhyuk hums, "But I have one last question,"

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and stops in front of their classroom door, "What?"

"You met your childhood friend," Minhyuk hums, "But why don't you look happy at all?"

Kihyun opens and closes his mouth.

"Class is going to start! Go back to your seats," the teacher shoos them away from their perfect blocking-the-entrance-door position. Minhyuk whispers Kihyun a 'later' and the latter is left to wonder to himself.

He really doesn't have an answer to Minhyuk's question.

On second thought, maybe he does.

After all, it is nothing but a petty reason.

--

The combined gossiping of his classmates are loud and Kihyun deems it best to stay silent with his class' stupidities.

The final bell had rung, meaning that class has ended, and Kihyun is sitting on the table in front of Minhyuk, who was still finishing his worksheet because he slept during class hours.

Kihyun waits patiently, folding his hands together and catching bits of the whispers around him.

"Wonho hugged Kihyun, the new guy? No way!"

"Yes! My friend saw it with her own eyes! They were so close!"

"Wah! He's so lucky!"

"But don't you guys think Kihyun is pretty cute? Like, he fits in Irene's group just fine,"

"But he touched Wonho. And he wasn't even a part of their group yet! Only Hyungwon can touch him,"

"He needs to be put on his place,"

"Yeah! He needs to know his place!"

Kihyun scrunches his nose. What the hell? He is accustomed to being the topic of gossip (it was a given for being a son of a head of a conglomerate) but what the hell? They talk as if Hoseok was some sanctified idol! He wasn't even the one who hugged him!

"Are girls supposed to be this crazy?" Kihyun wonders out loud, continuously baffled by his new, toxic environment.

"Huh?" Minhyuk looks up from his paper. "Give me two minutes and I'll be done, Ki."

"Oh," Kihyun snaps out of his reverie, readjusting his hold on his bookbag, "No, I was talking to myself. Take your time," he dismisses Minhyuk's inquisitive gaze.

He hears a few squeals and the presence of the thick gossiping atmosphere increases in volume.

"Excuse me? Is this Yoo Kihyun's class?"

Kihyun whips his head towards the familiar, husky voice.

Kihyun's stomach sinks. It was him.

Wonho's lips stretch into a bright smile. "Kihyun!"

"Hoseok?" Kihyun calls out. But then he shakes his head. No, Kihyun. Their smiles may be similar but they are now two different people. That handsome guy isn't your Hoseok anymore.

"You aren't going to him?" Minhyuk asks without looking up from his paper.

"How about you?" Kihyun questions back, reluctant to go to the blonde man by the door.

"I'm gonna pass this on my own and go home first. Let's go to the arcade another day," Minhyuk replies promptly. Kihyun sighs and resigns to his fate, trudging towards the glowing man by the door.

"Hi, Kihyun!" Wonho greets cheerfully, cheeks crinkling sweetly. "How was class?"

"It was fine," Kihyun smiles back slightly, "Why'd you call me?"

"I want you to, um," Wonho pauses, a palm slowly moving to rub his nape, demeanor shifting into a shy one, "Can you play for me?"

"Play?" Kihyun tilts his head. "Like, play the piano?"

"Yeah," Wonho nods, "You still play, right?"

"Uh, yeah." Kihyun bites back his 'why?' and decides to just follow what the other guy demands. "I can play but where?"

Wonho brightens up even more at his affirmation, "Let's go to the music room!" he exclaims, pulling on Kihyun's wrist.

"Is it okay for us to use?" Kihyun feels a sense of deja vú at the way Wonho also drags his wrist for him to follow.

"No one goes there," Wonho reassures and they take steps down to a narrow staircase.

They continue to go down until they see a path continuing to another building which they enter. Wonho's grasp on his wrist loosens and Kihyun's palm, for some reason, meets with the taller man's palm.

Kihyun doesn't know how to react with their... holding hands thing going on. He is both flustered and confused as hell.

Look, Yoo Kihyun. Maybe he just got tired from holding your wrist? Or maybe it's just an accidental slip? Kihyun averts his eyes from their skin-to-skin contact. Okay, fine. Say this was not accidental, Yoo Kihyun. It's um, platonic. This how past-best friends should normally be, right? Kihyun panics.

"Heart, calm down please. ," Kihyun whispers to himself.

"Huh?" Wonho whips his head towards him. "You said anything?"

He really can't help it. Kihyun may be gay or not and Wonho may be taken or not, but he was too gorgeous for one not to get the least bit flustered!

"Wait," Wonho pauses. Kihyun almost crashes into his back but his instincts told him to stop before it happens. What a chance wasted to experience a feel of the glorious back muscles.

Kihyun shakes his head to dismiss the weird thought.

"Wait here," the older says as he enters a corridor, leaving Kihyun in his muddled state.

A few minutes pass and out came one or two heavily bruised men (one was even clutching on his stomach for dear life) from where Wonho entered. Kihyun's heart rate picks up.

Could he be..?

Kihyun runs towards the corridor, entering the lone door by its end in panic.

"I told you to wait, didn't I?" Alas, Wonho was there, completely unharmed and peacefully wiping off with a white cloth, a classical piano resting in the middle of the music room. "I'm still wiping dust. Could you sit there for a bit?" he points towards a stool beside the door.

Kihyun gapes. "What was-- oh, wait. You know what? I'm not gonna ask," he sits on the stool.

Wonho chuckles, "Just ask."

The younger shakes his head, opting to change the topic and dropping his bag by the floor. "What do you want me to play?"

Wonho grins, sitting on the piano bench and patting the space beside him to beckon Kihyun over. "Anything you want. Maybe something basic?"

Kihyun rolls his eyes and sits next to him. He follows, hovering his fingers over the keys, pointedly avoiding Wonho's intense gaze.

This feels like the old times, but not quite.

He starts to play, senses shutting temporarily and fingers systematically pressing the keys.

His eyebrows furrow, the situation is giving him a bitter taste in his mouth.

He wants his Hoseok back.

He knows he was being petty but no, he doesn't want the Greek god. Sure, the blonde Wonho was gorgeous and friendly and hot as all hell but he just wasn't Hoseok.

This bulky man wasn't his cry
baby. This strong man just wasn't his Dopey.

Wonho was heavily built, head held high, gaze breathtaking and stance oozing with deserved self-confidence.

His Hoseok was fragile, with a constant, precious flush on his pointy ears, shoulders hunched and adorned with freakishly adorable round glasses.

This Wonho looked cunning, smouldering, seductive.

His Hoseok was cute and dependent on him.

Kihyun desperately wants the latter back.

He presses a chord with much unnecessary force. He wasn't able to see Wonho's curious glance through his internal despair.

He wants the moments when Hoseok will sit with him in a similar piano bench, playing with him, and flashing him his bright, nose-scrunching smile.

It was foolish. He really shouldn't expect things to be the same after 10 years.

After you left him for 10 years, Kihyun's consciousness corrects, and there comes the sharp pain in his chest.

He wants his baby back. His baby who cannot stop bawling once tripped or when teased by his group of bullies. He selfishly wants his baby who always comes crying to him and looks at him with glistening eyes when he fends off his offenders.

Kihyun was there to protect him.

But now he isn't needed.

And that hurts.

Kihyun sighs a deep sigh, waving away the air as if his heavy thoughts will dissipate. He made it a rule to himself to never disrespect his playing time with depressing thinking.

He plays a new song and Wonho's ears perk up.

"Oh! I know that," he comments excitedly, "Batch, right?"

Kihyun snorts. "It's pronounced as 'bark'. And no, this was by Beethoven."

"For Elise?"

Kihyun shrugs. Close enough, "It's Fur Elise,"

Wonho giggles. "I remember this! You always play it for me whenever I feel down. I immediately feel better when I hear this," he closes his eyes and hums to the tune.

Kihyun's fingers halt. He remembers? He doesn't even know that was the case. He only played it as practice during the time Hoseok was severely bullied. He doesn't know he thought of the piece that way.

Kihyun finally stares at the man beside him. Wonho's long eyelashes flutter against his glowing cheeks as his eyes remain shut and a small smile plays on his pillowy lips. The older's beauty never stops to make Kihyun's heart skip a beat. He inhales, before choosing to speak his mind.

"Why are you asking me to play for you?" he clenches his fist in nervousness at whatever answer. He hopes it would be the older lashing out to him in betrayal for leaving him alone and weak as a child. Wonho opens his eyes in surprise at the query.

The blonde looks above, pink dusting his cheeks as he presses his mouth into a thin line. He stutters, "I-I want to go back to the old times for a bit?"

Kihyun raises an eyebrow at the other's blush. "Who the hell would want to 'go back to the old times' with someone who left him for ten years?" he questions, guilt seeping into his voice.

Wonho sits up straight in surprise, "What? Nononono, no." He grabs Kihyun's both hands. "Is that what's bothering you?"

Kihyun hesitantly nods and Wonho pouts, interlacing their fingers. "You didn't leave me, you know? You never did,"

"You were everywhere, Kihyun. You were in every piano I see, playing comforting music for me. You were in every song I hear, your voice soothing and lulling me to sleep. You were in every star I see, your blinding smile stretching my cheeks into a grin. You were everywhere. You never left my heart."

"You're a ing sap," Kihyun snorts, breaking the moment, but he wouldn't admit that the weight on his chest was lifted because of the other's poetic rant. Wonho laughs back.

"I know," a smile spreads on his face. "But it's true. You made me who I am now,"

Kihyun scrunches his nose, "I made no Adonis,"

"Ah, no. My glorious body is my own effort," he quickly denies and Kihyun scoffs. "My time with you back then saved me from loneliness. You made me strong. Remember what I promised before we part?"

Kihyun nods slowly, "...No?"

Wonho's expression falls, "Okay. Now I'm sulking. How could you!"

Kihyun sniggers, "I'm kidding. You said you will grow big and protect me,"

"And did I grow into someone who is capable of protecting you?" Wonho slightly puffs his chest out in pride.

"Well, you sure did grow,"

"Oh, I grew in many places, Kihyun." Wonho wiggles his eyebrows. "I grew big in so many places,"

Kihyun rolls his eyes at him before flicking Wonho's hands away to cross his arms. "Congrats on growing big in so many places. So you don't need me now, huh?"

Oh god. Why is he so petty. "What happened to your "I can't live without you, Kihyunnie!"? Liar. You're all big and firm now. You don't need your Kihyunnie protecting you!"

"What now?" Wonho whines. "That was never my intention in the first place!"

Kihyun gasps, "Excuse me? So as a child, you really lied to me by saying that you needed me--"

"Would you-" Wonho silences Kihyun by putting his palm on the other's mouth. Kihyun tries to pry it off but the older uses his other hand to lock both of the brunette's hands into his hold. "Would you shut up for a moment, you drama queen?"

The younger could only glare at him. "I never wished for you to protect me so I strived to be stronger. I really wanted to deserve you. A child has his pride, too, you know,"

Kihyun's eyes soften in understanding and Wonho deems it safe to let him go. He regrets it after Kihyun pinches his cheek, hard.

"Well, I don't need whatever protection you offer." Kihyun abruptly stands up. "So we shouldn't have anything to do with each other anymore,"

"Aish, why are you so stubborn?" Wonho tugs at his wrist, pulling him to sit once more. "Stop sulkiiiiing,"

Kihyun sighs in defeat. He knows he is being very unreasonable and immature. Why was he even the one sulking? But even with these, he still can't help but feel disappointed.

Wonho pulls Kihyun closer by the waist, resting his head on his shoulder. "You know, I didn't become your friend just so you can protect me,"

Kihyun looks down. "Sorry. It's just that.. it feels like all my purpose was fruitless? And your transformation gave me a shock,"

"Don't be sorry," Wonho hums, "You're cute when you're sulking. You get pouty and all the more adorable,"

"Ew, a flirt." Kihyun clears his throat to hide his fluster. "See? This is exactly what is shocking me,"

Wonho cackles, playing with Kihyun's fingers. "Well, you better get used to it sooner."

Wonho looks up at him, "Because I'll pester you. I'll make sure we have the ten-years of time apart paid."

Kihyun giggles at the cheesiness, slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that this was the current Hoseok, that Wonho is Hoseok. Hoseok with the same bright smile, dopey ears, affectionate words and stubbornness.

Just bigger, cheesier, and more confident. And blonde.

Wonho snuggles into his neck further and Kihyun snaps out of his daze, realizing their current position.

And bolder.

Kihyun clears his throat again to catch Hoseok's attention. Wonho complains, "Can I hug you for like, five more minutes? I really missed you,"

Kihyun hesitates and is about to give in but then the final bell rings, signalling the closing of the gates. "There's the bell! You need to get off of me now,"

Hoseok tuts as Kihyun escapes for the front door where he left his bag. Kihyun's eyes land to a white fabric on the floor which he remembers Hoseok used for cleaning up the dust in the room.

However, the more Kihyun stared at it... the more it resembled their uniform.

He remembers the bruised men who passed by him earlier (with the one who was clutching his stomach for dear life). And at closer inspection, there were even stains of red.

He slowly turns to look back at Hoseok, horrified.

Hoseok tilts his head innocently. "Anything wrong, Kihyunnie?"

 

 

~~

kihyun has a bit of a superiority complex unconsciously imposed to him by his parents lol he unconsciously thinks being above others is where he should be \o/ smth like idk the white man's burden?? xD he's a good kid tho who wants to change so don't worry abt that hehe

unbeta'd

yay monsta x comeback!!!

@chaelattae