“He’s back.”

“He’s back.”

There were whispers echoing all around the corridor. Donghae turned a deaf ear to them, hardening his gaze as he strode down the hallway. It was the first day of spring term and the students were already gossiping. He knew who was back, and he couldn’t care less. At least that was what he kept telling himself, although he felt himself becoming less convincing by the second.

“Donghae! Did you hear? He’s…” Sungmin skidded past a corner to spread the news to his best friend but decided not to finish the sentence when he saw the brunette’s unreadable expression.

Donghae clenched and unclenched his fists. “I know.” He said through his teeth. He didn’t need Sungmin to tell him something he already knew.

Sungmin blinked and pursed his lips, not wanting to say anymore. The past two years in his absence was rough on Donghae. He suspected that Donghae had never gotten over him, even though the brunette had been stubbornly saying so for the past year. No one ever got past their first love, did they?

Donghae stopped at his locker, with Sungmin tagging along. He twirled his lock combination and pushed open the metal door. Inside, lying atop his textbooks, was a single pink rose.

Donghae cringed and inhaled a breath harshly. His lock combination was absolutely secret. Even Sungmin had no idea what his lock combination was. Obviously, Donghae never took the effort to change his lock combination for all the years he was in high school, and there was only one person…

Sungmin’s eyes widened when he saw the pink rose over Donghae’s shoulder. He looked quickly to gauge the expression of his best friend, which was torn between sorrow and rage.

Donghae realised that Sungmin was watching him, so he quickly fixed his gaze, grabbed the books he needed for his first class, and slammed the locker shut, but not before he made sure that the rose was out of his locker and on the floor. He stomped on the pretty pink petals of the rose. He didn’t want his pity, or whatever the rose meant. They were over. Long over. Donghae would make sure of that.

“And I see my gesture was not appreciated.”

Donghae felt bile rise up his throat when he heard his voice. Without lifting his head in acknowledgement, Donghae turned the other way. Now was not the time for confrontation. Donghae knew that he may seem to have put on a strong front, but he was not as strong as he looked. A single glance at him would send Donghae in tears. All the built-up resentment could never compare to Donghae’s love for him.

Donghae clutched his book even tighter as he walked, not caring which direction he went as long as it was far away from him. He was supposed to get to history class, but he knew he was already in the wrong direction, and he would be late at this rate. And then, he had to knock into someone.

Donghae froze as he inhaled the familiar scent of strawberries. It was his strawberry shampoo. When had he grown so tall? They were about the same height two years ago, but Donghae had knocked into his chest, so he had to have grown a few inches.

“Won’t you say hi?” He cajoled.

Donghae bit his lip and lowered his head even more. What happened to being saved by the bell?

“Donghae, look at me.” He coaxed.

Donghae felt fingers gently lifting his chin up, and he couldn’t stop the tears that pooled in his eyes as he finally looked at Hyukjae.

He was right. Hyukjae had grown taller. Hyukjae had become slightly tanner from the sun in America. Hyukjae had dyed his hair an unsightly blond. (Why?) Hyukjae still had his beautiful bright gummy smile, and Hyukjae was still handsome, even with his blond hair.

Donghae blinked, and two streams of tears trickled down his cheeks.

He looked away from Hyukjae and stared at a spot on the ground, because he did not want Hyukjae to see him crying. He did not want Hyukjae to think he was weak. He had spent so long convincing himself that he no longer cared for Hyukjae, but yet he still crumbled into pieces when he saw him.

But Hyukjae held his face in the same place with both of his hands, and thumbed the tears away.

“Don’t cry, Donghae.” Hyukjae said, his smile turning into a slight frown.

Donghae glared at Hyukjae with a pained expression. He could not stay any longer in the blond’s presence. He had to go somewhere, anywhere. He pushed his heavy history book into the blond’s chest and ran.

Donghae ran and ran. He was panting by the time he reached his secret abode, a corner in the rooftop garden where no one could find him. And when he was sure that he was alone, he tucked his head into his knees and sobbed.

His sobs had drowned out the light footsteps that approached him. He flinched when he felt a hand caress his back.

Donghae didn’t know how, but Hyukjae had managed to find him. Of course, he frowned; this was his and Hyukjae’s secret place. They had found it together.

“Leave… me alone…” Donghae managed between sniffles.

Hyukjae sighed and sat down beside the brunette, rubbing his back still.

“Why should I?” He asked.

“Be… Because.” Donghae huffed, still hiding his head between his knees.

Hyukjae chuckled. “I’m not going to leave you alone like this. I’m not going to leave you alone anymore.”

Donghae hiccupped. He had no reply to that. He may be stubborn, but Hyukjae was even more stubborn, especially when it came to him.

Hyukjae rubbed Donghae’s back until his sniffles slowly subsided, but Donghae still kept his head hidden.

“Won’t you let me see your smile?” Hyukjae prodded Donghae’s shoulder.

“I have not smiled since you left.” Donghae murmured. He had forgotten what it was like to be happy since Hyukjae left, and so he found little reason to smile. Life without Hyukjae was like a constant downpour. Everyday was an overcast sky. Donghae lost the motivation to pursue sports or other activities. He stayed holed up in the library with his books, studying. Maybe that was why his grades had improved significantly, but he gained little satisfaction from that. Because he was missing a huge portion of his life, and that was Hyukjae.

“I’m sorry, Donghae.” Hyukjae said sincerely, pulling the brunette into his embrace. “I didn’t tell you I was leaving, because I didn’t want to leave. Retrospectively, I realised it was very stupid of me to just leave you a letter and expect you to be alright with it. I tried calling, but your mother said you wouldn’t pick up my calls. I sent letters, but they were always returned to me. I tried so hard to make it up to you, Donghae, if you would have let me. I missed you so much, Donghae.”

That sent Donghae into another bout of sobs. Donghae was sure that his tears and snot would have stained Hyukjae’s uniform. Hyukjae’s new cleanly pressed uniform. But because it was Hyukjae, Donghae knew that he wouldn’t mind one bit that his uniform was ruined. Because it was Donghae. And Hyukjae never had the heart to get mad at Donghae.

“Oh, Hae.” Hyukjae rubbed the brunette’s back again. “I spent every single day regretting what I did. I missed you so. I counted the days till I returned. I hoped that you hadn’t fallen for someone else. You know, they said distance makes the heart grow fonder, but it has only caused you so much pain.” Hyukjae sighed ruefully.

Donghae recalled the day when he received the letter from Hyukjae. The memory was clear as day to him. It was the day when his heart broke into smithereens and he wasn’t ever sure if he could pick himself up again. He resented Hyukjae so much. He resented Hyukjae for leaving without even telling him face to face. He resented Hyukjae for constantly reminding him with his calls and letters. He made sure to return all the letters unopened. He didn’t want to ever open them, because if he did, he feared that he might never recover.

Now that Hyukjae was right in front of him, Donghae’s heart ached even more. His heart ached for all the ‘what ifs’, if he hadn’t been so stubborn and accepted one of Hyukjae’s calls, or opened one of Hyukjae’s letters. Would things have been different? Would he have been in less pain? Would he have resented Hyukjae any less? But there was one thing that would never have changed.

“I missed you too.” Donghae whispered his confession, clutching Hyukjae’s shirt tightly. He couldn’t his feelings secret anymore. He missed Hyukjae with every passing day. Even though Hyukjae caused him so much heartache, he just couldn’t bring himself to forget about him.

“Will you give me another chance, Hae? Will you come into my arms again? I won’t leave you alone anymore, ever.” Hyukjae tightened his hands around Donghae.

Donghae bit his lip. He didn’t want to give up Hyukjae just yet. He didn’t want to give up on their love. Slowly, he nodded.