It was two in the morning when he woke up from his sleep due to chaos in the living room. He woke up, slid himself out of the duvet, and sighed. It was probably Mingyu in his drunken state again.

He walked out of his room expecting the other to be sprawled across the floor like last time, but he was fighting with their housemate with a bottle in hand.

“Can you please control your man, Wonwoo?” The housemate asked.

Wonwoo grabbed Mingyu’s head with his both hands, “Wish I could,” He said as he pushed the other away from him as hard as he could.

“What are you doing?” Drunken Mingyu asked after he reached a wall to regain his composure.

Wonwoo looked at their housemate, “I’m sorry please go back to your room I don’t want you injured.”

The things Wonwoo knew about Mingyu and his habit changed over time. From how long he worked, to how long he partied. From what flower he’d receive in the evening from the latter, to what bottle he’d force out of his grip in the morning.

From what words of praises he’d get, to what words of insults he’d hear again.

The whole situation was tiring, Wonwoo was tired, but he couldn’t walk away. There was just something about Mingyu that he couldn’t grasp, and that made him stay, even with all the hardships the other made him go through.

Wonwoo thought about the first time they met, how wonderful in his mind was the taller boy. As time passed, they grew closer, and more intimate. They shared life stories, went on road trips together, and eventually they shared a room together.

It was all fun, even up to two years ago when Wonwoo decided they should get a housemate to help pay the bills. Mingyu had agreed, and that was how Jihoon came into their lives.

A year through, the three became close, and Jihoon often joked how he was third wheeling the couple all the time because he lived there too.

Wonwoo smiled and thought that maybe, nothing really lasts forever.

Jihoon called him on the phone from his own room, “Wonwoo, you should end things with him, this isn’t healthy.”

Wonwoo smiled to himself, “I know.”

He had thought about it, many times before, but he just couldn’t. He didn’t even love the boy anymore, but he just couldn’t.

“Actually Jihoon, I don’t know. Why am I still here taking care of this big baby when I can still get another boy better than he is,” Wonwoo chuckled.

Jihoon sighed, “I know you’re being sarcastic. You don’t think you can get another man just because you’ve been with this one for more than five years. Sure, your feelings might’ve changed from the first time you said yes to going out with him, but you still think he’s the best the world has to offer.”

Wonwoo fell silent.

“You think I couldn’t figure you out? I’ve been living with you for the past years and seen what he hasn’t. So of course, I get you. Do you think I’m dumb? Sorry but I’ve got multiple projects at once to prove you wrong.”

Wonwoo looked at the sleeping Mingyu on their bed and brushed his hair back, “Thank you for your concerns, Jihoon.”

“He’s never laid a hand on you… But I just want to make sure you’re okay,” Jihoon said before hanging up.

Wonwoo put his phone on the bedside table without looking at it. He closed his eyes and remembered all the good times he had with Mingyu, and he smiled.

“It’s not that bad, Jihoon,” He said as he slid back in the duvet holding Mingyu close.

“I know you don’t love me anymore, Wonwoo. Why are you still staying with me?” Mingyu asked the other early in the morning.

He shrugged, “You tell me.”

“I’m being serious here. I am harming you, and I cannot stop. Help me by leaving my side,” He said with his voice raised, visibly trying to hold back his tears, and failing.

Wonwoo moved closer, wiping the tears on Mingyu’s cheeks and kissing him briefly.

“You have a choice, my dear. Either you stop loving me, or stop asking me to leave,” He said while the other’s cheek with his thumb.

“You know neither will happen.”

“Mingyu? Fancy seeing you here in the afternoon,” Jihoon said as he walked in the house and greeted by a troubled Mingyu by the dinner table.

Mingyu looked up, “Do you ever just… regret, being you?”

The other man closed the door behind him and said, “Well, depends.”

“What do you mean?”

He walked to the sofa and dumped his bag there, “If I were the lover who inflict emotional and mental damages to the one person I love very deeply then yes I would definitely regret me.”

The relationship between Mingyu and Jihoon was never the best since Jihoon became aware of how hollow Wonwoo had become. But Wonwoo never knew the extent to which their distaste of each other extended until he had come home that evening.

Wonwoo came home to a messy house, broken glass, rolled chairs, and bloodstains on the wall.

He quickly ran towards his room, finding nobody there, he ran towards Jihoon’s room and found the other lying on his bed with bruises all over his body.

“What in the world had happened?” He shouted as he approached the man.

Jihoon opened his eyes and looked at him, “Your boyfriend happened.”

“You know best than to rile him up the wrong way!” He shouted, tears pooling in his eyes, “What did you do, Jihoon?” He asked, tone softening.

Jihoon smiled, “I was just answering his questions with some facts and logic, but he got mad and started smashing things – and me – onto the wall.”

“Oh my god Jihoon…”

“I honestly don’t know how I’m still alive.”

“Jihoon I am so sorry.”

“No it’s not your fault. But hey good news,” Jihoon giggled.

Wonwoo sighed, “What can possibly be good right now?”

“I see now that he can still be saved, I mean, I’m alive, you know. He stopped midway. He ran out after he saw me bleeding. I can’t say he’s a good man, but he still has his senses.”

Wonwoo called their mutual friend to come pick Jihoon up and let him stay a couple of nights there. He was planning to confront Mingyu, because this was too much. He could handle being hurt, but nobody should get involved in this matter.

Mingyu came home at midnight, welcomed by Wonwoo who was sitting in their dark living room.

“Wonwoo I can explain—” Mingyu quickly said when he saw the other.

Wonwoo looked at him, “No you cannot, Kim Mingyu. You have no explanation, you have excuses,” He stood up.

Mingyu closed the door behind him and walked towards the other, “I swear Wonwoo I was—“

Wonwo sighed and put his hand to cover the other’s mouth gently, “I’m sorry. Please calm down and tell me what happened.”

“I’m sorry Wonwoo. I will never put my hands on any of your friends… no more,” Mingyu said after he told him what happened, “I promise.”

“Promise,” Wonwoo looked at him and caressed his cheek, “I like doing this, your cheek is so soft.”

Mingyu put his arms around the other, “Well I like doing this, your waist is small.”

They slow danced to the rhythm of their hearts. Both of them crying silently in each other’s arms, wishing their circumstances weren't like this. They had once thought about the amazing future they were going to have: living with Jihoon until they had enough money to buy a house; adopt a child; and formally make a family and raise it together. They had hope, that all will turn for the better. They had hope, that maybe some miracles would happen, and they wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

“I love you, Wonwoo,” Mingyu said, kissing his head.

“You know better than to tell me that,” He replied.

Even with all that was happening, they still wanted to be together. Although deep in their hearts they wanted to separate, to actually live their lives. They both knew their situation wasn’t the best, they needed to escape, and they needed to do it fast, before they got more involved in this crazy devil called their toxic relationship.

“You have a choice, remember,” Wonwoo said as he held the taller’s hand in his own.

Mingyu chuckled, “It’s better to give me an ultimatum and you know it.”