Hakyeon could not remember when was the last time since he last talked to the members. 

Everyday was filled with individual schedules. He had to attend drama shoots and other variety shows. By the time the day ended for him, the members were either fast asleep or getting ready to attend their schedules. Even when they met, they immediately started practice and did not have time to have small talks.

Hakyeon could feel it, the distance growing between him and the members. He heaved a deep sighed as he continued to pick on the food that he barely touched as he remembers what he heard that day. 

The conversation, the words that the members said behind his back, that pierced his heart deeply.

Flashback

"Guys! Did you all hear the news?! We have a coming schedule that requires us to go to some countries based on pictures of the cities that we pick! I even heard the hakyeon hyung will not be joining the schedule. Isn't it nice to have freedom ourselves without him nagging and we don't have to worry about having to team up with him!" Hyuk says excitedly. 

"It's hard to enjoy ourselves with his presence, having to handle his childlike attitude and tantrums. It's tiring at times." Hongbin stated smiling.

The rest of the members nodded their heads in agreement before going on to discuss more about their trip. Unknown to the rest of the members, Hakyeon had been standing behind the door and overheard the conversation.

Hakyeon could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. He could feel his heart twisting in agony inside his chest. 

 Bruises started to form on his palms from his fingernails, where his fists had clenched so tightly, he thought he was going to break every bone in his hand.

End of flashback

He laughed at his pathetic self as he remembers the conversation he heard because...despite hearing those words, he still couldn't bring himself to hate them.

He gave up eating and stood up, throwing his food away. He walked to his room and lay on his bed, his arm drapped over his eyes. Soon, a lone tear fell from the corner of his eyes. Practice was as usual the following day. Soon, all the members arrived and they started practicing. Everyone was drenched in sweat as they danced vigorously. However, Hakyeon stopped the music as he noticed someone missing a step.

"Jaehwan, I don't think that's your spot." Hakyeon says calmly as he pointed out a mistake. 

Jaehwan nodded after realising his mistakes. Their song started replaying again. Suddenly, Hakyeon felt dizzy and missed a step, falling on the ground with a loud thud. Pain shot up his back and he can't help but groan in pain softly.

"Are you okay??" Taekwoon asks their leader as he saw the look of grimace on his face. He immediately went to help him up but his hands was slapped away by Hakyeon. 

Despite being in pain, Hakyeon refused to get any help from anyone. He did not want to seem weak and rather handle it himself. He slapped Taekwoon's hand away and pushed himself up.

However, he did not miss the hurt that flash through Taekwoon's eyes by his actions.

"As if you dance very well and don't make mistakes." Hyuk mutters while smirking. Upon hearing those words, Wonsik quickly nudged Hyuk from the side. The atmosphere became tense and no one dared to mutter a word. Despite hearing Hyuk's sarcasm, Hakyeon pretended that he did not hear and continued the practice.

These few days, Hakyeon had not been able to sleep well as he was tormented by nightmares despite his tiring schedules. When he finally fell asleep, he had to wake up to attend the schedules. All of these had finally took a toll on his body as he finds himself getting weaker.

He brushed aside the pain and continued practicing, pushing himself as hard as he could.

After long hours of tedious practice, the hellish training finally ended. All the members were slumped on the floor, drinking from their individual water bottles. 

"Guys, shall we go and grab some dinner before heading back from the dorms?" Jaehwan suggested, breaking the silence. Everyone nodded enthusiastically and gave suggestions of where to have dinner expect for Hakyeon. Hakyeon desperately wanted to join them but he couldn't. Besides, he was sure that his presence will only bring down the atmosphere. He stood up now nonchalantly and packed his bag, without uttering a word. 

"Aren't you joining us for dinner?" Taekwoon asks as he sees his best friend leaving the room.

"I have other schedules to attend." He whispers as he held the door knob.

"Yeah of course. Anything is more important than having dinner with his work mates." Hyuk says sarcastically, earning a glare from Wonsik.

Instead of saying anything, Hakyeon just left the room without another word. Unknown to the members, tears started falling from his cheeks. 

"What's wrong with you these days?!" Wonsik asked Hyuk angrily after seeing their leader leave the room. 

"Shouldn't you be asking that to our great leader?" Hyuk shot back to Wonsik.

"He's the one that started to distance himself away from us ever since he started his own individual drama shoots and schedules." Hyuk continued saying matter-of-factly.

"That's true. Hakyeon hyung is the one who started to distance himself from us. Whenever I asked him what's wrong he always says nothing is wrong." Hongbin added as he looked down.

"Obviously he thinks he will be able to gain our attention from his tantrums. He must be happy that he got more popular than us and disregards us." Hyuk replied sharply. 

"Maybe we should talk to Hakyeon hyung." Jaehwan quietly suggested.

"Why should we-" Hyuk started to protest but was cut off by Taekwoon.

"Okay, let's wait up for him tonight." Taekwoon says, nodding.

Meanwhile, Hakyeon worked out of the building, still shedding some tears.

"Did something happen just now?" Their manager asked when he saw Hakyeon's tear streaked face.

"Nothing's wrong." Hakyeon says softly as he entered the van. 

"By the way hyung, do you happen to have pain killers? My back kind of hurts a little." Hakyeon asked.

"It's in my bag. Did you hurt yourself during practice?" The manager asked worriedly, looking at Hakyeon's pale face through the rear view mirror.

"I'll be fine, it's just a slight strain." Hakyeon says as he swallowed the pills and closed his eyes.

Soon, they arrived at the film site and Hakyeon had a hard time standing up due to the sharp pain on his back. After struggling for a while, he stood up and quickly plastered a smile on his face, greeting the cast and crew.

"Hakyeon, are you sure you'll be okay? If I'm not wrong the shoot today requires you to do some action scenes. Should I speak to the crew about it?" His manger asked him.

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine." He said, not sure if he was convincing his manager or himself.

Throughout the shoot, despite his body discomfort, he pushed on as he did not want to be disrespectful to the seniors, leaving a bad impression on VIXX.

The result of over exerting himself soon surfaced. When the shoot was over for him, he went to the van. He couldn't even stand properly because when he did, sharp pain pierced through his spine. His mind screamed out as the pain drove through his back. Every thought he just had became confused as the burning pain up his back like scorching fire.

"Just a bit more, Hakyeon. Just a bit more." He chanted to himself, refusing to give in. He did not want to faint in front of so many people and making it to the headlines, afraid of the negative comments made about him or VIXX.

When the van came into sight, he finally let himself succumb to the pain. Black spots clouded his vision as he fell into the arms of his manager. 

"Hakyeon!" His manager shouted as he tried to wake him up to no avail. He quickly helped the unconscious leader into their van and drove to the hospital.

Hakyeon was hooked to an IV drip.

Moments later, Hakyeon opened his eyes slowly and scanned the surroundings. He sat up immediately when he realised that he was in the hospital, forgetting about his back pain momentarily until he felt the pain shot up his back. He groaned out loud as he clutched his back. 

"What's wrong?! Are you okay??" The manager asked when he woke up and saw the leader panicking. 

"Hyung! Why are we here?? What happened??" Hakyeon asked worriedly.

"You fainted just now after shoot ended. Don't you remember?" His manager asked.

Upon hearing those words, memories of what occurred earlier flashed through his mind.

"Did anyone see it?? Was it on the headlines? Would it affect VIXX??" Hakyeon quickly asked.

"Hakyeon! Calm down! Don't worry, nobody saw what happened. I can't believe that you are worrying about VIXX at this point of time! Aren't you worried about yourself??" His manager said in frustration.

"That's good than." Hakyeon said in relief as he lay back down to the bed.

"Your back injury is quite bad this time. You might not be able to dance for a while. Also, have you been sleeping well these days? The doctor mentioned that another reason you collapsed was due to the lack of proper rest." The manager stated as he looked at Hakyeon.

"It's just...nightmares often wake up these days. No matter how exhausted I am during the day, once I fall asleep, nightmares will haunt me." Hakyeon said as he looked at the white ceiling.

"Hakyeon-ah, did something..happen between you and the members recently? I noticed that you've been distancing yourself from them." His manager asked cautiously.

"Nothing really happened between us, hyung...It's just...I came to acknowledge some truths that I've been avoiding for a while...but hyung can I ask you a question?" Hakyeon asked as he looked at their manager.

"Am I...really so...annoying?" Hakyeon whispered.

"Hakyeon-ah..." His manager whispered as he took Hakyeon's hand, hoping to provide some sort of comfort, although he knew...he wouldn't be able to give.

He wanted and hope that in a way, he will be able to heal Hakyeon's broken heart, as harsh words the members said about him were the cause of all the agony and pain that he was going through.

"Hyung, what happened today, can you just keep it between us? I do not want the members to get worried." Hakyeon said as he looked at the manager.

"Okay if that's what you want. But Hakyeon-ah, I hope...that you will be able to open up to them soon..they are you friends isn't it?" His manager said.

Despite hearing those words, Hakyeon merely gave a small nod and looked out at the scenery through the van's window. The serene view outside was in contrast to the feelings that he was going through, as if it was mocking him.

"It's getting really late now...maybe the shoot will take them all night long?" Jaehwan asked as he glanced at the clock.

"Let's wait for 30 minutes more. If he's still not back, we should get some rest too. Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to get up in time for our schedule tomorrow." Taekwoon said softly as he looked at Hongbin and Wonsik struggling to stay awake.

It didn't take long when they heard someone punching in the dorm's door code. Hakyeon was finally back.

"Hakyeon