"Can we talk" the words feel heavy to say. Hoseok looks startled by Changkyun's request. Those three words can never mean something good. Nonetheless he nods his head, blonde hair and all. 

Changkyun leads him to the couch. Palms sweaty, he looks at his elder. Someone he's supposed to love like a brother, nothing more than a brother. 

"Hoseok" he begins. He doesn't look at Hoseok. He wipes his palms on his jeans before starting again. 
"Hoseok I think- well I think I'm
In love with you." Changkyun pushes the words past his lips. He still can't look at the older boy. He listens for any sign over the pounding of his heart. 

Dum dum dum 

Damn it why isn't he saying anything? 

Changkyun can't take it anymore. He looks up at Hoseok. He feels his heart crack when he sees Hoseok's eyes, glimmering with tears. Why are there tears? 

"Changkyun..." His voice is shaky. Changkyun's heart breaks a little more. He braces himself, he knows what's next. 

"You know I love you, Changkyun. That will never change." He pauses. The rapper waits for it. 
"But I can't love you the way you want me to. I don't think I ever will. I'm sorry. Changkyun I hope we will never change. You mean a lot to me." 

Changkyun looks away from his elder. His heart feels like it's on fire and like it's been crushed into fine shards of glass. what did he do? He shouldn't have said anything. He messed it up. 

He looks back up at Hoseok. There are tears on his cheeks. Another pang of guild washes over Changkyun. Damn it. He hurt Hoseok. How could he forgive himself? How could he be so selfish?

No matter how many times Changkyun saw the elder cry it would never get easier. It's hurts so much to see Hoseok cry and now he's the reason for it. . 

Changkyun clears his throat. 
"It's okay Hoseok. I didn't and don't expect you to. I hope this won't change anything. Before I loved you like this, I loved you as a friend." He feels the words slice his throat. He gives a small smile. It hurts. God it hurts so much.

Hoseok nods and smiles back but it doesn't reach his eyes. The older rubs Changkyun's back soothingly before getting off the couch. The younger feels his skin prickle with warmth at his touch. 

Dammit Shin Hoseok.