“The moment I met you, I knew I had to make you mine. You looked so beautiful, sitting in that coffee shop with your friend next to you and sipping on your hot mocha latte nervously. I nearly hugged Hyunwoo hyung and your friend, Choi Hyojung to death for setting us up in a blind date. I loved you the moment I saw you smile politely at me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Every day I feel the luckiest man in the world to have you. You’ve made my life so much better the momen you entered it. You are my life, my whole world. And I’ll happily spend the rest of my life making sure you feel the same way.” Hoseok lowering himself onto the floor so he was kneeling on one knee in front of a teary–eyed you.

Hoseok pulled the little black box out of his pocket, opening it to reveal a shining diamond ring. You gasped, your hand immediately going to cover your agape mouth.

“Nam Yoobin, will you marry me?”

A tear slipped down your cheek, you were too surprised to speak. You willed your body to function and nodded your head vigorously. You held out your left hand for Hoseok to slip the gorgeous ring onto your ring finger. As Hoseok stood up to embrace you, you finally found your voice.

“Yes, yes, yes of course I will!” You croaked, matching your smile to Hoseok’s beaming one. Hoseok kissed your tear away, then pulled away to look at your face. You were smiling just as widely as him. You brought your left hand close to your face, gazing at the perfect ring resting on your left hand right next to your pinky.

That was how Hoseok proposed to you on your 21^st birthday, in your own house, in front of your and his families, and friends whom you and Hoseok had invite to attend your birthday party. That was the best birthday present you ever had in your whole life. And you thought, that day, was the happiest day of your life. But no, you were wrong.

Today was.

“You can do this.” Over the past hour you had lost count of how many times you had repeated those sentences to yourself.

Today was the beginning of the rest of your life, as everyone you met kept telling you “Congratulations on your big day!”. Hyojung and your mother teamed up to make you to be the prettiest bride in the world. Hyojung did her best to cover the black circle under your beautiful eyes–the result of being unable to sleep, too nervous thinking about this day– with the concealer and foundation. Your mother also did her best making your hair tied up in an elegant bun held by shiny crystal hairpins.

“Alright, it’s almost time now! Your father must have been waiting for you outside now.” Hyojung said, nodding at the reflection of you in the mirror, looking satisfied at the beautiful you. She turned to gather the train of your white dress.

“It’s time to go!” Hyojung giggled and ushered you out the door. Your mother handed you a bouquet of white roses on the way.

You could feel your knees starting to weaken as you saw your father in his black suit, standing at the beginning of the long pathway towards the after. He beamed as he took your left arm into the crook of his elbow. You nodded when he asked you if you’re ready.

As nervous as you are, you could only faintly heard the music beginning to play as you started walking down the aisle of rose petals. You couldn’t even turn your eyes to see the faces of your friends and relatives that had come to witness the wonderful moment. Finally, as you arrived in front of the altar, your eyes met with the figure of Hoseok, standing there with the happest face you had ever seen. The sight of gorgeous soon–to–be–your husband, erased anxiety from you.

Your father turned to you, saying he loves you and kissed your cheek before he walked away. You looked at Hyojung, who smiled at you in encouragement before you face Hoseok.

“Dearly beloved...” The priest started. “We are gathered here today to witness the joining of Shin Hoseok and Nam Yoobin in the event of matrimony.” He paused, looking between the two of you with a smile. “We come together, not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists. The marriage is one expression of the many varities of love. Love is one, though its expressions are infinite.”

The priest kept saying more and more long words and you knew you should be paying attention to what the priest is saying, but you couldn’t take your eyes off of Hoseok, and so does Hoseok. You kept thinking about how lucky you are, to marry this man in front of you and you were sure Hoseok was also thinking the same way.

“Do you, Shin Hoseok take Nam Yoobin...” You finally paying attention to priest’s words as your name being called. “...to be your wedded wife, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love her, comfort her, honor and keep her for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to her, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” Hoseok didn’t even hesitate as he said that. “Forever.”

The priest nodded in acknowledgement and continued. “And do you, Nam Yoobin, take Shin Hoseok to be your wedded husband, to live together in marriage? Do you promise to love him, comfort him, honor and keep him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and forsaking all others, be faithful only to him, for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” You stared into Hoseok’s eyes and smiled.

The priest nodded again and seals the deal. “I now pronounce you husband and wife ‘till death do you part.”

Hoseok leaned forward slightly and cupped your face. “Can I kiss my bride now?” Hoseok asked the priest, earning laughter from the audience and also the priest.

“Of course.” The priest said.

Hoseok pulled you towards him and kissed you like he never kissed you before. It’s deep and loving. You could feel myself finally becoming one with him as he pulled you completely against him. The chapel soon filled the clappings and whistlings from the audience.

Pulling back from the kiss, Hoseok looked at you in the eye and whispered to you. “You are mine forever, Nam Yoobin.”

Forever.

“Forever.” You mumbled along as your hand writing down the word into your notebook. You put the pen down next to the notebook in front of you. You stretched your arms up, humming as a soft breeze blew across the room from the open window. You closed the notebook and your eyes slowly drifted to the right, to the edge of table, where a wooden picture frame placed there.

You took it and scanning the picture in the frame. The picture showed you, Hoseok and Hyojung, in the wedding day. Standing side by side in the altar, with you between Hoseok and Hyojung. Hoseok and Hyojung were both smiling wide smiles, and they seemed happier than ever.

But you were different.

Your smile was not as genuine and happy as theirs. No one but you who knew if the smile you had on your face is a forced one. A fake one.

Standing in your right side, was Hoseok and you smiled sheepishly, thinking he must be the most handsome groom in the world. Whoever becomes his wife, will be luckiest girl in the world. But unfortunately, you were not that girl.

You eyes drifted to Hyojung, standing in your left side, dressed in her wedding gown and holding the bouquet of white roses, she really looked so beautiful with her long hair tied up in an elegant bun held by shiny crystal hairpins. You carefully took the picture of the frame and looked at the words written on the back.

Happily married, Shin Hoseok and Choi Hyojung.

Yes... Hyojung was the one married to Hoseok, not you.

It was you who set Hyojung for a blind date with Hoseok.

It was Hyojung who got proposed on her 21^st birthday party in her house, as a birthday present from his boyfriend, Hoseok.

It was Hyojung’s name that came out of Hoseok’s lips when he propose.

It was Hyojung’s ring finger that had the diamond ring given by Hoseok on it.

It was Hyojung whom everyone had congratulate her on her big day.

It was you who helped Hyojung covering the black circle under her eyes and teamed up with her mother to make her the most beautiful bride in the world.

It was Hyojung who walked down the aisle with her father.

It was Hyojung who stood in front of Hoseok and kissed him in front of everyone in the altar.

Not you.

You slowly and carefully tore the picture in your hand in half and you now had two pieces of the picture, each on your hands. You put one piece containing Hyojung alone down onto table and you smiled, looking at the remaining piece which there were only you and Hoseok in the picture.

You grabbed your pen, uncapped it, then started writing something on the back of the picture.

Happily married, Shin Hoseok and Choi Hyojung Nam Yoobin.

A satisfied grin adorned your beautiful, yet sad face. You opened the notebook to the first page and carefully placed the picture inside it.

It was your special notebook that no one allowed to read it but you.

Inside of it, was full of your handwritings about how your life would be if you were in Hyojung’s place and Hyojung’s in yours. So basically, it was a book of your fantasy about you and Hoseok’s love life. It’s really funny and also pathetic that you were already satisfied writing down your imaginations about your love life with Hoseok in the notebook. Though sometimes, you would cry at the fact about how impossible it is to make those imaginations happens in your life.

You opened the drawer of your table and placed the book inside, before you reclosed the drawer and locked it, keeping it safe. You grabbed the other piece of picture, crumpled it and threw it into the trash bin.

‘Too bad I only own your love in my imagination, Shin Hoseok. But I don’t care, because you only belong to me in my imagination. Not Hyojung. Not everyone else. Only me.’