Living as someone. But beeing nothing.

On this world, there are so many people. All people. What do they think. That do they like. Or hate.

So much is happening around me. But I am also alone in my room right now.

No one knows about me. No one will miss me. I mean, when I am gone.

Can I do something. I mean, something big, something important?

 

Min Yoongi was sitting in his room at the company. Thinking deep toughts. But Not getting any answeres. Sometimes he couldn't see anything, but today was a good day. He was inspired. He had read a book from the german writer 'Hermann Hesse' and now... full of toughts.

 

He tried to write something down.

A word.

A sentence.

only one letter?

 

He was confused.

But isn't it nice if literature can make you feel this way? he tought. He wanted his music to make feel people the same way. Full of feelings, not to interprete.

 

But as a kpop idol it is pretty hard to set up your own ideas, your own style. His company was really understanding how he felt, but he also has to do consuming music, not deep music. Something the company can make money with.

 

He has no love problems. He has no friendship problems. He simply had a problem that can't be defined nearly. But trying to search for it, for some answeres or at least one answere brings him to his physic end. He already tried, but that was a long time ago. Back than he collapsed and woke up at the hospital. "Not healthy this guy. I mean he may need a psychologist. Some serious help though."

Serious help? He is not strange. He just think differently than other people think. Or see the world differently. That's all. And some people have problems with that. His bandmates doesn't think about this to much. They want to have fun with him, doing music, dance and live a happy live. Now that BTS is more and more famous Yoongi really may had nothing to worry about. But still, there is this not understandable thing in his head. Not getting of from him.

Sometimes he talks about it with Jin. He tries to understand, sometimes he is phylosophic together with him and they can talk all night long till the sun rise about things. Why does a butterfly fly. Does he need to? Would humans fly if they could, too? would they flow away? Or in his direction?

 

Yoongi still was impressed from his book, taking it back to read again.

In a few minutes he has to go down, present the new song, that isn't written right now. He will get some trouble if Taehyung also have nothing to show.

 

"Ah Hyung!!! I was searching for you." Taehyung run into the room. "Have you written your lyrics? Seriously, lately you coudln't get your things together, don't you? Just be relaxed. I have a great song. It's maybe something for the cyper range? OOOOW I hope they will take my song this time!!"

"Ah Taehyungie, there you are. I have some nice inspirational material, but couldn't get it into a song yet, Unfortunately."

 

Later in the meeting Taehyung presented his new song. Some were impressed but it was unsure if the song will be on the next album or not.

 

Yoongi went home to the dorm while the other members stayed at the company. He wasn't feeling well, so he decided to take a evening free. On his way in the car he searched for his book. It wasn't there.

What? But it has to be here. I remeber that I have putted it into my back. Why ? Why? Wh...

 

Yoongi collapsed. But it wasn't something normal. This time the doctor said he is overworked. He hasn't listened to the signals. Now the company gave him a few weeks free to rest. But will everything be well. Will he held his job? Kpop idols are exchangeable like old flowers. You are really sad after loosing them., But happy about the colourfull new ones.

 

Now he was even more stressed than before.