Coming Out

Lonely

A/N - I am so sorry for the delayed update! I was on a vacation so was not able to write anything at all. I hope you guys like where this story is going! Comments are greatly appreciated! <3

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Jonghyun woke to Roo his face rather excitedly. He pulled her under the sheets and hugged her small body to his chest and mumbled "Roo-ya .. Let your Oppa sleep.. He had a restless night" and closed his eyes again.

Roo settled into his arms and drifted off to sleep and only then did he realize that he could smell something cooking. He smiled to himself sleepily - Jinki must be here cooking. He did promise to come over to his place so they could play video games like old times. He reluctantly sat up, disturbing a now slumbering Roo and checked his hand phone.  Three messages and a Voice message - wondering who they were from, he opened his messages first. All three were from Key and they were sent late last night.

 

Kibeomie (`ㅂ´) <00:05 AM>: Tonight was one of the best nights of my life Jong .. thank you.. <3

Kibeomie (`ㅂ´) <00:10 AM>: OMG you're already asleep right? *embarrassed* 

Kibeomie (`ㅂ´)<00:30 AM>: Let's have lunch together tomorrow Jong? That small Ramen place next to the station. Let me know if that is okay to you.. I hope you are dreaming of me.. ^^

 

Jonghyun smiled at the cuteness of Kibum's texts and immediately replied back agreed to meet Kibum for lunch and then played the voice mail. It was from Jinki saying "Jonghyun-ah .. Mian! I know I promised to come over, but I have an urgent surgery scheduled. I will give you a call once I am done at work nae? Let us catch up after.. Anneyoung!"

 

Hearing the voice mail Jonghyun realised that whoever was cooking downstairs was NOT Jinki and it could not be Minho or Taemin either because they were both busy with schedules and he immediately ran downstairs grabbing a cue stick from his game room, just in case. It did seem a little strange to him subconsciously, because why would any intruder cook? He reached the stairs and slowly took the steps down without making any sound and he raised the stick above his head when he heard footsteps coming towards him from the kitchen doorway. 

 

It was his sister, Sodam who came through the doorway and promptly jumped and hugged him tightly, looping her arms around his neck. Jonghyun dazedly dropped the cue stick and hugged her back mumbling into his sister's hair "Noona! What are you doing here? When?" as he pulled away from the hug grinning ear-to-ear.

 

As if on cue, his mother walked out of the kitchen, drying her hands on her apron as she did so and reached for a hug. 

 

Jonghyun bent down with a broken "Eomma.." he hugged her and felt his eyes burn with emotion. He missed his family so much and seeing them this suddenly made him so happy, but also vulnerable at the same time. 

 

Once he stepped back from the hug, his mother cupped his cheek with her small palm and asked lovingly "How is my son? Did you not miss your Eomma?"

 

Those words were his undoing and tears escaped his eyes involuntarily as he nodded with an incoherent "Yes, of course I missed you" and he was quickly enveloped in a tight hug from his mother and sister. Once he calmed down, his sister ruffled his hair fondly while his mom led him to the kitchen. There was a complete traditional Korean breakfast spread out on the table and Jonghyun sat down with his family after several months to have breakfast.

 

Jonghyun then turned to his mom and asked "But we just spoke the day before and you did not mention this trip. Why did you guys suddenly plan to come here?" as he dug into his breakfast.

 

His mom looked at him thoughtfully and replied "Well, my other son sent us the tickets and insisted we come home, said his brother needs his family right now and that he has some news to share... What might that be Jonghyun-ah?"

 

Jonghyun looked confused for a second and then comprehension dawned on him. WIth widened eyes, he asked "Jinki hyung sent you tickets to come home?! Aisshhhh this hyung..." he grumbled.

 

Sodam thumped his shoulder with his fist and said "Yah Kim Jonghyun! What are you hiding?" 

 

Jonghyun put down his chopsticks and after taking a deep breath he turned to his mother and said slowly "Eomma, I don't know how to say this.."

 

His mother quickly grabbed his hand worried by his seriousness and asked "What's wrong? Did something bad happen son? You're scaring me!"

 

Jonghyun reached out his other hand and held his mother's hand between his own and squeezed them with a bitter smile on his face.

 

Sodam put down her spoon and clasping her hands in front of her said "You can tell us anything Jonghyunnie.. why are you so scared?"

 

Jonghyun closed his eyes and knowing that the best way to do this is to just say it, like ripping off a band-aid, he said "I'm dating another man, his name is Kim Kibum." and he felt his heart break as his mother withdrew her hand from his grasp as soon as he finished speaking. He could feel tears slip down his cheeks as he bent down his head, eyes still closed, trying to breath properly. He could feel himself losing it. His mother must hate him. She cannot even bear his touch. But what could he do, he wasn't the kind to lie to himself or his family. He really did like Kibum and it was not in his nature to deny it. 

 

Before the panic of rejection fully set in, he was forced to open his eyes by his mothers wooden spatula hitting him on his head and his mom's scolding voice interrupt his heart break "And what kind of mother do you think I am Kim Jonghyun that you were so scared to tell me this? That I would hate you for this? Disown you? What did you fear?"


Jonghyun looked up at his mother was standing by his side now with hands on her hips looking furious. He rubbed his head where the spatula hit him and whined "Eommaa...." and his mom just gripped his ear and twisted it a little so it stung and said "Do not Ever mistrust your family again Jonghyun-ah.. We love you no matter what, arachi?" 

Jonghyun nodded with a blush and looked over at his Noona only to see her eating rice rapidly. Feeling his gaze on her, she looked up with full mouth and raised her eyebrows at him and said "Since when am I a hateful person dumbo?" she then had few sips of her stew and turned towards him fully and with a a teasing glint in her eye said "Soooooo.... Kim Kibum huh? Tell us all about him !"

 

Jonghyun looked at his mother and sister disbelievingly for a second and shook his head with a chuckle before he started talking.

 

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Key was nervous as he waited at their table in the small ramen shop. No, scratch that. He was losing his mind. Jonghyun was late. By 20 minutes. They decided to meet at noon and it was already 12:20 and Kibum was worried because Jonghyun was not lifting his calls. He was so excited as he was on his way there, even triple checked how he looked. Maybe Jonghyun did not feel what he felt last night. Was that why? Was Kibum being stood up? Should he leave? In the end, he decided to wait for Jong no matter what time and once he made up his mind, he tried to avoid worrying and took out his script and began reading his lines as he waited.

 

He was not fully successful however and when he saw Jonghyun run into the place panting and managed to say " So sorry I'm late Kiboemie.. I just - " and before he could finish, Kibum had gotten up and hugged him tightly, arms around his neck.

 

Jonghyun hugged him back just as tightly and felt his heart flutter at the closeness. He ran his fingers through Kibum's hair gently and said calmly "Sorry baby.. My mom and sister came home suddenly from abroad and so I got late, I even forgot my hand phone on top of that..."

 

Kibum let go of Jong with a blush and sat down saying "I was worried"

 

Jonghyun peered at him curiously and said "You though I won't show up right? 

 

Kibum cheeks flushed red at that accurate analysis and just nodded his head unable to speak. Jonghyun just silently reached across the table and clasped his had, intertwining them with his own, making Kibum to look up into his eyes. 

 

After gathering his words carefully, Jonghyun said "Kibum.. do you know why I was late today?" When Kibum held his hand tighter and shook his head, Jonghyun continued "I was coming out, well kind of, to my family. I was so immersed in telling them about you and our date last night, that I completely lost track of time.."

 

Kibum looked shocked at that and immediately started to apologize, but Jonghyun cut him off immediately saying "I can see you're worried about this. And you have every right to be, because I am new to this. But I need you to believe me when I say this Kibum-ah.. I really do care about you.. A lot.. More than what I expected.. will you take a leap of faith? With me?"

 

Kibum extended his other hand and held Jonghyun's hand with both his own and replied earnestly "I Promise I will.." and brought his hand to his lips and kissed the middle of his palm. Jonghyun's breath hitched at that and his eyes darkened. It was an innocent act on Kibum's part, but the intimacy of it made Jonghyun's heart race. He traced Kibum's jawline carefully, never breaking eye contact and watched Kibum's eyes flutter close.

 

He then took back his hand realizing where they were and cleared his throat and said "Let's order shall we?" to which Kibum nodded enthusiastically.

 

They ordered their food and began to eat, and unfortunately for Jonghyun, ramen was not helping his case. Nor was the way Kibum seemed to be enjoying his food, making pleased noises. At one point, he even bit into some meat and moaned around it, biting his bottom lip and Jonghyun could swear that Kibum was doing it on purpose. 

 

Noticing that Jonghyun had gotten strangely quite, Kibum stopped eating and looked at him, only to find him staring at his lips intently. He stopped biting his bottom lip and Jonghyun's gaze shifted to his eyes instead. If looks could make love...Kibum couldn't help but look at Jonghyun's lips instead and back to his eyes. They were sitting across from each other so they had no contact with each other whatsoever, not even grazing knees, but Kibum could swear that the tension in the air was cutting. The air suddenly felt hot and charged and Kibum involuntarily loosened his collar, making Jonghyun;s eyes linger on his now exposed neck - bad idea Kibum-ah, Jonghyun though as he gulped quietly. The gulp did not go unnoticed and Kibum's eyes went to Jonghyun's adam's apple instead and his grip on his chopsticks tightened, as if they would give him some semblance of control that he was quickly losing. 

 

They were both brought to the present forcefully by the door opening causing the bell to jingle loudly, and Kibum turned to look at the door and swore to himself. He should never have chosen this place! Looking at Kibum's expression, Jonghyun turned to look at the group who just walked in - they seemed normal enough, some office employees Three men and a woman. Okay - Jonghyun thought to himself - she is staring at me.

 

He looked at Kibum and asked "You know her? I swear I don't know why she is looking at me like she just won the lottery.. Doesn't seem to be a fan either.."

 

Kibum grumbled slowly "That would be my best friend Irene.. And she is looking at you like that because I spoke for an hour last night about the kiss and now she's going come here and embarrass the hell out of me and I am gonna dig a hold here and bury myself.." and he placed his head on the table in defeat.

 

Just as Kibum had predicted, Irene walked over to their table and sat down and with a wink to Jonghyun, said "Well well well... What do we have here.. If it isn't Composer Kim and Actor Kim, the smitten love birds.. You cannot escape the best friend though Jonghyun-ssi.... It's a Pleasure to finally meet you" offering a handshake to Jonghyun as Kibum groaned from behind his hands.


Jonghyun shook her hand firmly and replied "Anneyonghaseyo Irene-ssi ... I'm the boyfriend.. It really is a pleasure to finally find someone who knows all of Kibum's stories.." with a smirk and Kibum couid only groan even louder at that...

 

 

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A/N - This was short right? I promise the next one will be better <3 Please leave your reviews.. Much love!
 

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ShawolDubuLeader
#1
Chapter 4: "I wanted to see what you'd do...If you hadn't reached out, I would have." the line that made my heart flutter; this is so cute. I'm in heaven.
"Jonghyun kissed like he was singing." I imagined things and that is nOT OKAY. But i love this line because when Jonghyun sings he's not just passionate, he's indescribable--stunning and love that you used such a simile here :)
ShawolDubuLeader
#2
Chapter 3: Their back and forth texting/banter is adorable. It kind of reminded me of the dynamic between them on instagram with all of Jonghyun's comments. Off to read the rest~
herejusttoread #3
Chapter 3: This is such a great story .. I'm blushing at jongkey..it's so adorable..

And comment on your comment about lonely
I felt the same as I'm also feel what jonghyun felt and it's true the song isnt about sadness but hope. Something that you want to find and out of loneliness. The song is very meaningful to me also emotional. There's no word to explain how I felt when listening to his song .
5Strangers5Friends #4
Chapter 1: The words that you said about Lonely not being about sadness but hope, it really got to me. He did say he hasn't felt happy yet and when I heard that, I felt really devastated. He's been smiling these days and I hope (yup the word came out^^) they are sincere and yea...I hope Jonghyun's also happy at the same time. I love Jonghyun and I love SHINee and I love SHINee World~ I hope that all of us will be happy and satisfied. Jonghyun Please be HAPPY! BTW I'll read now (haven't read yet but already making a comment...) Got emotional just now...I'm very happy to know SHINee and SHINee World!
lionnholic #5
Chapter 3: Hii^^ I'm bad at writing in english but I just need you to know that your story is very pretty and make my heart melt♡ I love your writing style and of course, the way you put the two, so natural between them.♡ Please update soon, we're waiting for more *^*
AAAAANNND THANK YOUU~♡
MissLocket #6
Chapter 2: Dear author, it's almost impossible that you wouldn't have subscribers when the story is sooooo beautiful and well written. I just love it. As soon as I listen to Lonely, I had your same feelings about it. And even if it is just in my mind and also in yours, I like to think that Key would be a nice cure to that loneliness that invades Jonghyun's soul. About the side characters, Irene and Jinki are perfect. Jinki's last statement about getting back his friend left me speechlees. Please keep updating.
kideaterr #7
Chapter 2: I love the best friends! I loved the way you wrote Irene! So lovely! Also, I'm glad that Jjong has someone as caring as Jinki!
I'm so excited for this!
karkimi
#8
Chapter 1: I would certainly love to read more, this was lovely. :)