i was on my way home and i saw a familiar guy with a girl on his side clinging on his arms. they were sweetly beaming at each other. the guy suddenly leaned on the girl and gave a smack on her lips. the girl didn't bother stopping him eventhough they were in a public place.

 

my heart ached and beat so fast that i could hardly feel it beating but it sends an extraordinary heart ache within me, it was like bleeding and totally crashed inside. the moment he looked up on me tears welled from my eyes. that guy was my first love, my true love.. which i thought so. he was my everything, my life. but then i caught him being so sweet all over a girl or should i say flirting with another girl. my heart throbbed so fast and my tears kept on falling. he just stared at me without a word.

 

the bus came and my feet instantly started walking. i know that he saw me, i'm sure that he looked up on me. i was waiting for someone to grab my hands, someone who would give me a back hug but there wasn't. i heard the bus drove off the road. i walk until i find a bench in a park and sat down. i was still shocked on what i saw. i still can't believe it. i know that he saw me, but why? why does he didn't came after me? i was in the urged of crying again. my tears was continuously flowing. my eyes  are swelling and my lips were trembling.

 

i was sniffling so hard. i stayed on that bench for almost an hour. the cold breeze indicates that the winter is coming and that add the feeling of coldness in my heart. my heart was like a cube of an ice ready to crack anytime soon due to extreme coldness.

my phone buzzed when i was about to stand. i wipe the tear drops on my cheeks and took my phone out of my pink sling bag.

 

"it was him" i mumbled. i didn't realize my tears were falling again. he says that he wants to talk with me tomorrow evening at the place were we had first met.

 

 

hongdae park was one of the most special place in my life. that was the first place where we had first met. i didn't reply on his message, instead i walk on the bus stop and went home.

 

my apartment dazed me with a lonely aura. i saw our couple picture on the nightstand, we were happily beaming at that precious moment. and the other picture on the frame was when he was kissing me on his bed. the picture of our hands intertwined together. it made me broke again for the umpteeenth~ time. i was a total wreck tonight. my eyes are swelling. i loook so horrible. i went to bed without changing my clothes. i just laid there, crying and crying and crying until i got myself into dreamland.

 

on my deep sleep i had dream of him, in our future. we were living on a simple house with our kids. i was smiling and very contented on that moment.

 

i startled awake when my phone buzzed. but it was 7 in the evening. it was like i had just slept. i was so groggy in waking up. but i saw a lot of miscalls on my phone and tons of messages from him. i didn't realize i had slept the whole day.

i stood  from my bed and lazily fix my self. i saw my swelling eyes and didn't bother putting any shades or anything.

i was lamely walking, i saw him sitting on the bench. our favorite spot. he even carved our name on that bench. that was the bench where i was captivated by his sweet smile. i sat on the bench and he loook at me. 

" you cried " he said, and i just nodded... what a lame conversation.

" why are so immature? " he asked i didn't answer him. i know that it was his problem with me. i easily got jealous on random girls his being with. i get so mad whenever he wasn't texting me. this was always the reasons of our arguments. soo one time when i saw him with a girl in a restaurant i didn't bother asking him, instead i just ignored that day and then started ignoring him too. that was so hard for me. for almost three years my life revolved around him and then  everyday i wake up missing him.

 

he heaved a deep sigh and said.

" i want to break up with you. " my tears flow.

" the girl you saw last night, we were dating for almost three months. " he confess.

 so he was cheating on me for the past three months.

i regret ignoring him. i regret every stupid thing i did. he heard me sniffling. i was crying so hard like kid. i didn't look at him. it would be hard for me to let go of him once i saw his face. the face of. - once my man.

 

my first true love was breaking up on me?, because of stupid reason. i remembered his promise of forever. his countless love for me, his tight hugs. his sweet kisses. everything vanished over a lame reason.

 i walk away without a word, my vision became blurr due to my wet eyes. i can't seem to handle the pain anymore.

as what i expected, he would never come and run for me. it was him, it was always him. the one who never seek for forgiveness. he would always keep things on his own.

 

lucky for me. i had grab a cab immediately. i went home and pulled a bottle of soju. i was dead drunk by that time on the counter, with a six bottles of soju on the floor some were broken.  i saw a knife and gazed intently at it, out of curiosity i was already gripping on it. and started slashing my wrist. i felt an excruciating pain.

 

" mianhae~ my first true love if i became so immature. you know very well that i love you so much. if ever that i would be born again, on my next life i will still choose you to be my first true love. and i promise not to be immature again. this tragic story of mine ends here, i think " i was  running out of breathe, my blood was dripping so fast in the cold floor.

" but on my next life this will have a happy ending saranghae my JAY PARK " my eyes closed instantly my body became numb, i can't even feel any pain and then i had lost conciousness. 

 

 

 

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sorry for keep you waiting :)

i don't know if the fic was good but i hope you would like it.

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thanks

MAHAL KO KAYO♥