Strong Heart Chapter 60
Strong HeartIt uploaded wrong sorry ^^;;; My internet is annoyingly erratic lately
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“Ah…,” he was about to admit that he was beyond exhausted, but then from the corner of his eye, he noticed some weird movement and hushed whispers coming from the back of a building. “Hey, what’s that?” Ryeowook pointed at the shuffling commotion in the dark.
Kikwang hurriedly followed the finger, “Oh…I don’t know,” he muttered, confusion mixing with his previously sad appearance.
There was a loud cry and then it was muffled sharply. Ryeowook broke into a sprint, not realizing Kikwang was being dragged along. Without thinking, the President shoved a solid body to the ground before grabbing whoever was being attacked, and running far away.
Angry words flew after them but none could give chase when the trio was running so quickly. Ryeowook couldn’t believe incidents like that were still happening with the world’s current surveillance systems and knowledge and research. Why was and molestation still so freaking common?
“I think…we’re far enough,” Ryeowook breathed heavily, holding his knees and trying to gather more air. At some point he had shaken off both people who had been caught up in the night with him. It was apparently not meant to be for Ryeowook to get a good night’s sleep. “Are you alright?” he asked the previously endangered student, turning around to see a pretty face.
Taemin was staring wide eyed, chest rising and falling uncertainly. “Oh, thanks Pres,” he replied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“What are you doing out this late? You know that the crazier upperclassmen like to roam the campus at this hour,” Ryeowook sighed.
The honey blonde shrugged stiffly, eyes lowering to the ground. “I just needed some fresh air. Minho was riding my about some stuff…”
A pang of sympathy shocked the president’s chest. Exhaling softly, he offered a tight smile, “Well, please be careful and go back to your dorm room. It’s almost lights out and I’m almost positive those boys are still skulking around.”
Kikwang made his presence known once more, taking Ryeowook’s arm, “But pres, I still want to talk to you! Are you saying we can’t talk?” His voice held a touch of sadness – the kind that becomes impossible to ignore.
“What’s wrong?” Ryeowook breathed, mind trying to wrap around all of the people and things that needed him.
“Actually…,” Taemin bit his lip, shuffling around before reaching out to Ryeowook’s other arm, “you’re really close to Mir, right? Can I ask you something?”
Weight after weight was toppling down on his shoulders as he began to realize just how right Minho was. He couldn’t keep taking all of these duties. Everyone needed his help, sought his advice. But he was just one person – a weak person as that. How was he supposed to help everyone when he himself was still struggling with decisions?
Did Ryeowook even have a right to be advising other people when he could have very well made the biggest mistake of his life just two weeks ago?
“But—”
“Please, President!” Kikwang begged, hand tightening around the slender, exhausted boy.
“…ah…,” he turned helplessly around to see Taemin had the same despairing look in his eyes, “I…I guess for a little bit…”
And then they were bounding off to one of the twenty-four hour coffee shops on campus. It was scarcely filled, and that by that, the store was empty except for a panicky student in the corner pulling an all-nighter.
The barista got them de café drinks before leaving them alone to their business. Ryeowook peered out at the warm night longingly. All he wanted to do was go home already. There was another busy day tomorrow and, quite frankly, he would be busy up until the Senior Trip at the end of June. That meant another two months of pure torturous work and downing heart medication.
“Alright, what’s wrong, Kikwang?” Ryeowook asked, taking a short sip from his drink. The bitterness immediately hit him and he pushed the drink aside.
Kikwang sighed, lowering his chin to the table top, fingers idly tapping the plastic cup of steaming coffee. “I just don’t understand why Dongwoon doesn’t care about me.”
Ryeowook’s eyes fluttered open in surprise. “Excuse me?”
“I mean,” the boy looked up and then back down, “he wants to break up. He wants to be with Mir. Am I not good enough for him? Did I do something wrong? You’re good friends with both of them, pres. Can you just tell me why Dongwoon can’t love me back?”
“Actually,” Taemin coughed, twiddling his thumbs uncomfortably, “I have the same…sort of, question. What does Mir see in Dongwoon?” he flushed suddenly, trying to hide the tinge of color with his fair hair. “I-I mean, I’ve seen how Dongwoon is. He was pushing Mir to fall for him in the beginning. Whenever I hut Mir, Dongwoon would show up and be some sort of support. Is that right? Is it right to try and take someone else’s lover?”
Ryeowook felt his head pounding and decided to take the bitter hot drink after all. This whole situation was new to him. Mir never spoke about his own affairs and now that Ryeowook was hearing all about it… “Hold on,” he took a deep breath, unscrambling his mind, “Mir and you, Taemin, broke up already,” Taemin flinched but nodded, “and Mir and Dongwoon like each other, right Kikwang?” The boy in question stiffened but nodded also. “But Dongwoon and you, Kikwang, are still dating right?”
“Yes…” he mumbled.
“Then…right now you both are wondering the opposite things?” Ryeowook spoke out loud, slowly forming the situation in his mind. “Kikwang, you want to know why Dongwoon loves Mir. Taemin, you want to know why Mir loves Dongwoon.”
“Yeah,” Taemin affirmed softly, finally taking a sip of his coffee.
Ryeowook wanted to bang his head against the table. How was he supposed to know that? “Well…,” he began, trying to think as he spoke, “I guess, have you ever watched them together? What I mean to say is, have you ever noticed how they’re always thinking about one another? I think it might not be that they have specific things they like about each other. It’s more like…,” he his lips, brow furrowing with thought, “they love how they ‘move’ together. When they’re around one another, it’s as if life becomes easier to live. When one of them is struggling, the other can make up for their weakness.”
Kikwang frowned stubbornly. “But why can’t Taemin or I be that for them? I love Dongwoon and Taemin loves Mir. Why do we have to be cast aside? Do you think it’s right for us to be stepping stones in their path to love?” His words cut deeper than anything that had been said so far.
“I agree,” Taemin chimed in, looking up, “I was with Mir from the very beginning and we’ve been through so much more than him and Dongwoon. How is it fair that…that Dongwoon has only been there to pick up Mir when he’s sad? I’ve grown so much because of Mir and I know he’s changed too because of me. We…We make so much more sense than him and Dongwoon.” Taemin shot Ryeowook an unsteady glare. “Can you argue with me?”
Ryeowook had been chanting in the back of his head ‘Please let me go home’ for the past minute or so. Sighing, he leaned back in the chair. “I can’t say anything else. I do agree that being thrown aside like you’re not a person isn’t right…but getting in the way of two people in love isn’t right either.”
Before Taemin could add his thoughts, Ryeowook went on, “Yes, Dongwoon did the same by slowly winning Mir over by being his shoulder-to-cry-on, but Taemin,” he paused, struggling to word the next part properly, “you aren’t the type of lover that Mir needs. When you two are together, it’s easy to talk about all of the scary, hurtful things right?” Taemin nodded slowly. “But there’s the problem. When both of you have scary things haunting you, you need people that are stronger to help you get through it. It’s like when you go into a haunted house. You never hold onto another weak-kneed person. You find the fearless one because you need someone who can drag you through the dark.”
“So you’re saying it’s because I’m weak? That’s why Mir doesn’t love me anymore?” Taemin asked, sounding absolutely crushed by the admission.
Guilt swept through Ryeowook. “He still loves you,” he said quickly before adding, “but…you also never stop loving. When you’ve fallen in love, you don’t stop falling.”
Taemin smiled faintly, “Someone else told me the same thing…but it sounds a lot less hopeful when you say it, pres.”
Kikwang nodded to that, eyes glum. “I just wish Dongwoon had actually fallen in love with me,” he shrugged his shoulders, fingers beginning to shake against the plastic cup, “because then I’d know he didn’t just use me.”
“I’m sorry, Kikwang,” Ryeowook whispered, “but you know what…?”
“Hmm?”
Ryeowook glanced down at the ring still on his finger. It hadn’t even occurred to him that he should take it off. For the longest time it had been a weight tying him down. If he were to take it off, would that mean reality, too, would crumble?
“You know what?” Ryeowook repeated softer this time. “Given enough time to realize – to see – any love becomes possible. It’s just a matter of how long you’re willing to work at it. How hopeful and desperate are you? To what lengths would you go to ensure someday, somehow, you could be with him?”
Would you wait three years?
Would you patiently hold his hand even though he wanted to hold someone else’s hand?
Would you be strong and loyal even when he isn’t asking you to be?
Would you be able to stand next to him knowing every horrible thing about him?
Are you as strong as Sungmin?
Kikwang didn’t answer, eyes clouding.
Ryeowook only gazed at him for a moment longer, prior to standing up and stretching tiredly. “I’m not a love god though. I don’t know much about anything, really. So don’t put too much faith in me.” He gently ran his hand across Taemin’s shoulder. “Goodnight to the both of you.”
There were faint words of departure but Ryeowook barely minded them as he trudged out of the coffee shop, half dead.
When he arrived home, Kyuhyun’s lean figure was just leaning over to turn off the lamp light before stopping to turn to Ryeowook.
There were no exchanged words as the slender boy shrugged off his clothes and shoes, flopping down on top of Kyuhyun in just his boxers. Ryeowook’s eyes immediately snapped shut, lightweight body barely troubling the confused boy.
Kyuhyun successfully turned off the light, repositioning the snoring, smaller one under the blankets. He wrapped his arms around Ryeowook, keeping him warm against the temperature drop of the night.
“Why are you working so hard?” Kyuhyun mumbled, brushing his fingers through wind-ridden hair, lips connecting with the top of Ryeowook’s head.
There was no reply, of course.
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