The first time Myungsoo proposes to Sungyeol they're five and six, respectively. Sungyeol calls him weird and Myungsoo takes that as a maybe. They still have some growing up to do anyway. He can wait.

A few years later they're each other's first kiss. During one of their weekly sleepovers Myungsoo leans over from his sleeping bag to press his lips against Sungyeol's for all of three seconds. Sungyeol is grateful for the darkness shrouding the room. It means Myungsoo can't see how red his face is. In the silence that follows the kiss Sungyeol looks over at his best friend. He can just make out his profile in the moonlight. They've known each other for what feels like their whole lives and Sungyeol's never once thought Myungsoo harbored any romantic feelings for him. Or imagined being with him as more than friends. But the feeling of the other's lips is still present on his own, like they haven't already left. It brings Sungyeol to the eye-opening realization that Myungsoo means more to him than he'd thought. Because as he watches his friend in the dark he can practically hear the thoughts racing through the other's mind; worrying that he's ruined things somehow. And Sungyeol doesn't want him to feel that way. Things are far from ruined. He tries to convey that when he leans in to peck Myungsoo on the cheek.

By the time they reach high school they've already celebrated two years as a couple. Hugging and kissing and holding hands had taken some getting used to for Sungyeol. Aside from the weirdness of dating his best friend, he's just not an affectionate person. Myungsoo doesn't mind, though. He has enough affection for the two of them. They continue to have sleepovers and make fun of each other's bad hair days and compete to see who can eat their lunch the fastest and shamelessly cheat when they're playing video games together. With the naïveté of adolescence Sungyeol believes that a first love can be a true love.

‖

Sungyeol's just stepped out of the coffee shop when someone bumps into him and he spills the hot cup of coffee in his hand all over his coat. The brand-new coat he'd been eyeing for nearly a month before he made the decision to treat himself. He knows it will be as good as new after dry cleaning, but at the moment all he can focus on are the droplets of over-sweetened coffee seeping into the thick fabric and dripping onto his shoes. The pinprick of annoyance he feels heating up his blood dissipates almost instantly after he catches sight of the man in front of him. The years haven't changed him very much. He's still shorter than Sungyeol, though he's not as scrawny as he had been during their school days. His hair is straighter and almost long enough to cover his eyes. And there's no denying he's gotten even better looking.

They end up staring at each other until someone exiting the shop pushes past Sungyeol, breaking the spell between them. "I'm sorry," Myungsoo apologizes sincerely. Sungyeol hopes he does a good job of hiding his surprise at the deepness of the other's voice. "I wasn't watching where I was going. Let me buy you a new cup."

Shaking his head, Sungyeol rushes to assure him. "No, it's fine. You don't have to. It wasn't even for me." Woohyun will just have to go without his morning coffee for a day. His words don't do anything to ease Myungsoo's worries, though.

"It's still my fault. Can I at least pay for your dry cleaning? Your coat looks expensive." He starts to reach out to Sungyeol, but freezes halfway before retracting his hand.

If it were anyone else Sungyeol would have scoffed and told them just how expensive his coat was—hell, he would have demanded a new coffee and coat right away. But this is different. This is Myungsoo. Sungyeol can't bring himself to demand anything of him. Not after the way things ended. "It's fine," he says again. The coffee is starting to dry on his hand, making it sticky and uncomfortable. "Don't worry about it." Even as he says it he knows Myungsoo is going to do just that. He knows him better than anyone. Well, he used to. He doesn’t know anything about Myungsoo now.

‖

The second time Myungsoo proposes to Sungyeol they're nineteen and twenty, respectively. It's the day of Myungsoo's high school graduation and the two of them sneak off to the school's roof. They're lying on the warm concrete, staring up the sky, when Myungsoo reaches for Sungyeol's hand and slips a simple silver band onto his finger. Sungyeol listens to the other go on about how he saved up for the past four months to buy the ring and how much he loves Sungyeol and how he doesn't want anyone else and how they can make it work despite going to different schools.

Sungyeol listens in silence, his chest tightening with every passing second. He knows Myungsoo means everything he's saying and that just makes things worse. "Myungsoo," he says quietly as the other is excitedly running through his idea for their wedding ceremony. It sounds romantic and elaborate and so very Myungsoo. He's probably been planning everything since he'd first proposed to Sungyeol when they were children. Sungyeol wishes he could do all of it for Myungsoo because he loves him and the younger boy deserves everything that he wants. But Sungyeol isn't ready for any of it. He doesn't think either of them are. They're barely adults and this is such an important life decision. He doesn't want them to regret it later.

Myungsoo pauses mid-sentence and turns his head to look at Sungyeol. He probably hadn't even noticed Sungyeol's silence (or lack of an answer to his unasked question), too caught up in his own fantasy. "It's too much, isn't it?" He chuckles softly and lays an arm across Sungyeol's middle. "We can scale it back. It's too expensive anyway."

The pressure building behind Sungyeol's eyes feels like too much. He doesn't know how he's managed to keep himself from breaking down. Myungsoo sounds so happy and Sungyeol hates to have to ruin it, but they're not on the same page about their future together. He should admit it now. "Don't you think this is too fast?"

"Does it seem like I'm rushing?" Myungsoo sits up to get a better look at Sungyeol's face. His eyebrows knit in worry. "I don't mean to. If you want to wait a while, that's fine. We do have our whole lives ahead of us."

"That's what I mean," Sungyeol says. He sits up to meet Myungsoo's gaze. The words are there on his tongue, but he's reluctant to voice them. "We're still so young. Shouldn't we see what else is out there before doing something so drastic?"

Myungsoo stares at him for a long moment. Sungyeol doesn't know what to make of his expression. "Are you..." Myungsoo his lips before starting over. "Are you saying you don't want to marry me? Or that you don't want to be with me at all?"

Before this moment, Sungyeol had never questioned his relationship with Myungsoo. He loves him and they're happy together; he doesn't see the need to complicate it. There's a stretch of silence as Sungyeol considers his answer. It's not that he doesn't want to marry Myungsoo or be with him at all. He has wondered what the future holds for them and if they would end up committing themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. The thought hadn't scared him as much as it does now. But that's mainly due to the time he's spent away at college.

The long distance had been difficult emotionally and sometimes physically; Sungyeol hadn't expected to miss Myungsoo as much as he had. But at the same time, being on his own had helped him learn more about himself. While he loves being with Myungsoo, and holding him and kissing him and spending time with him, he's also come to love being alone.

"Myungsoo, you know I love you." The second the words leave his mouth Sungyeol knows that's not the response Myungsoo wants. Or one he should give. The younger boy's eyes drop to the ground, probably to hide the tears Sungyeol can tell are threatening to fall. He wants to reach out to Myungsoo, but he's afraid he'll be shrugged off. "I love you," he professes, though he isn't sure if Myungsoo believes him anymore. "And it's not that I want to break up. I just think I need some space right now." It sounds very much like a cliché excuse, but it's the closest to what Sungyeol is feeling. He doesn't want to marry Myungsoo—not now, at least—and he definitely doesn't want to end things, but it seems like a break from each other could be good for them. They could use the time to think and figure out where the relationship should go from there.

"Okay," Myungsoo says softly.

Although it’s what he’d wanted, the fact that Myungsoo gives in so quickly makes Sungyeol second guess himself. He expected the other to put up more of a fight, but the resigned slump of Myungsoo’s shoulders shows he’s already given up. "Are you sure," Sungyeol hedges. Despite being the one to ask for a break, it feels like the final decision rests with Myungsoo. "We can—"

"No, it’s fine," Myungsoo cuts him off. When he finally looks up at Sungyeol, his eyes are red, but there aren’t any tears on his face. "I get it. You need space." His voice is flat, emotionless. And Sungyeol feels even worse.

"Myungsoo—"

"Don’t. It’s fine."

With that Myungsoo stands up and heads towards the door leading back into the school. Sungyeol watches him walk away, struck speechless and immobile by Myungsoo's last words. The slam of the door behind Myungsoo feels like a goodbye even though the younger boy never said it. Sungyeol's heart sinks at the thought. This isn't how he wanted the conversation to go; or even how he imagined the day ending. He didn't intend for them to break up. But now he's sitting alone with the ring Myungsoo had happily slipped onto his finger just moments before.

The next day, Sungyeol considers calling Myungsoo or going to see him to apologize, but decides it would be better to give the other boy some time to compose himself. He's probably heartbroken or pissed—or both. It's mostly cowardice, though, that keeps Sungyeol away. Being honest hadn't worked out so well the last time. He's afraid of saying something that might hurt Myungsoo again. So a couple days pass by while he stews in his own guilt. Days turn into weeks and soon enough it's time for him to go back to school. He never manages to contact Myungsoo and, unexpectedly, Myungsoo doesn't come looking for him either. As the end of summer approaches, Sungyeol figures the younger boy must've left for school already and he tries not feel too disappointed by the lack of a goodbye; it's not like he's tried to reach out himself.

At first, it hadn't felt like they really broke up. More like they'd fought and Sungyeol was waiting for the right time to apologize so they could make up. But as more time passes, Sungyeol sees his chance to make amends become slimmer and slimmer until it's too late. They're not together anymore and he has no choice but to move on with his life.

‖

"What are you doing?"

Woohyun's voice snaps Sungyeol back into the present. He looks down at the pot he's supposed to be stirring. Wisps of smoke are curling up from the melted chocolate. Turning off the stove, he moves the pot off the burner.

"I know I say I don't care about your life," Woohyun says, taking the ruined pot of chocolate to the sink. "But you've been spacing out a lot recently. Are you feeling okay?"

Sungyeol has been hoping Woohyun hasn't noticed how distracted he's been for the past few days. He hasn't stopped thinking about Myungsoo since their run-in and it's starting to affect his work. Out of fear of seeing Myungsoo again, Sungyeol has done his best to avoid the coffee shop. He's mostly afraid of what the other man might have to say to him.

With a sigh, Sungyeol walks over to the work table in the center of the room and takes a seat. He motions for Woohyun to do the same and waits until he's sitting before finally replying. "I met him again. Myungsoo," he clarifies at the clueless shrug his co-worker gives him.

Woohyun is silent for a beat. "The Myungsoo?"

Sungyeol rolls his eyes, but acknowledges the title. "Yeah, the Myungsoo."

"When? How? What happened? What did you say? What did he say?"

Sungyeol shakes his head at Woohyun's excitement. Ever since he'd told the other about his high school sweetheart Woohyun hasn't given up hope that they would get back together. No matter how many times Sungyeol tells him there's nothing to hope for. "Do you remember a couple days ago when I came in with your coffee all over my coat?"

Woohyun freezes mid-nod as the realization hits him. "That was him?" At Sungyeol's answering nod, he laughs. "I didn't know he had it in him. You made him sound like a kitten, but I guess he knows how to hold a grudge. Good for him."

"He was a kitten," Sungyeol argues, reaching over to punch Woohyun on the shoulder. "He still is. We just bumped into each other—literally. I poured the coffee on myself. He looked so upset about it, though." The concern in Myungsoo's eyes is as clear in Sungyeol's mind as if he'd taken a picture. He's tried not to analyze the look too much; it's not like Myungsoo still cares about him. "He offered to buy me a new cup of coffee and pay for my dry cleaning. I think he would've even bought me a new coat if I asked. But I didn't let him pay for anything. I just left. Again."

After assuring Myungsoo that he really didn't need to make it up to him, Sungyeol had walked away from the coffee shop without looking back. If it had been a couple years earlier, he would've been thrilled at the sight of Myungsoo. Even if the other man was holding onto a grudge from being dumped. But by now Sungyeol's guilt has turned him into a coward. He feels terrible for breaking Myungsoo's heart, but he has no idea how to go about apologizing. Especially not after so much time has passed.

"So, you just let him go?" Sungyeol expects the incredulous look on Woohyun's face. He'd asked the same thing to himself every day since that meeting. (If he's being completely honest, he's been asking that question since that day on the roof.) Sungyeol only shrugs in answer. "You meet the love of your life again after all these years and you don't do anything at all," Woohyun asks. There's a touch of anger in his voice and Sungyeol can understand why. Woohyun is a hopeless romantic and a firm believer in fate. He'd nearly cried after Sungyeol recounted his and Myungsoo's supposed love story—that might've actually been from the alcohol, though. But either way, Woohyun has it in his head that Sungyeol and Myungsoo are meant to be. And there's nothing Sungyeol can say to convince him otherwise.

"I said he was my first love not the love of my life," Sungyeol corrects him. Because there's definitely a distinction.

"Call him whatever you want, but you have to admit there has to be a reason for you two running into each other again."

Sungyeol can already tell where this conversation is going. He gets up from his seat and goes to redo the dark chocolate fudge he'd started before his mind drifted. "We both wanted coffee," he guesses as he pulls down a pot from the rack above the stove.

"You guys are magnets," Woohyun states matter-of-factly. Sungyeol has always suspected the other man wasn't playing with a full deck. After stopping by the fridge for more butter and milk, Woohyun joins Sungyeol by the stove. "You attract each other," he explains. "There's something between you two that pulls you together no matter how far apart you are. Or how far you think you are."

Begrudgingly, Sungyeol will admit that that does make the tiniest bit of sense. Even as an inexperienced teen he'd felt how deep his connection was to Myungsoo. He's not as sure about fate and soulmates as Woohyun is, but Sungyeol can believe that there might be an unseen force controlling their lives. Despite however complicated his feelings might be now, there's a part of him that still loves Myungsoo (and probably always will). So, maybe this chance meeting is more than that and maybe Woohyun isn't as full of crap as Sungyeol usually believes he is.

‖

Only the threat of Woohyun going to the coffee shop and questioning every man he meets until he finds Myungsoo convinces Sungyeol to go seek his ex out himself. He's still afraid of the conversation they'll have to have at some point. Even if he's not holding onto any anger, there must be something that Myungsoo wants to say to Sungyeol. And he deserves the opportunity to say it.

Sungyeol goes back to the coffee shop every morning for the rest of the week. He doesn't bump into Myungsoo again. The first day is a relief, but by the time Saturday rolls around he starts to think he might've missed his chance. On Sunday he stops in front of the shop and peeks into the storefront. Although Woohyun disagrees, Sungyeol has decided to give up after today. If they really are magnets there'll surely be another chance for them to meet.

He's squinting at a guy at a corner table when a voice from behind startles him. "Sungyeol?" With a jump (and high squeak), Sungyeol whirls around to come face-to-face with Myungsoo. His ex looks just as breath-taking as the last time. The scarf wrapped around his neck doesn't seem to be helping curb the redness of his cheeks. (But maybe there's another reason for that.) He has an eyebrow raised and a half-smile on his face. "What are you doing," he asks, amusement clear in his voice.

Sungyeol stares at Myungsoo for a moment. He doesn't have a passable explanation prepared; he didn't think he would need one. "Um, nothing?" Myungsoo his head at the answer, but Sungyeol doesn't give him a chance to question it. He opens the door to the café and rushes inside, only remembering to hold the door open for Myungsoo at the last second. The other man follows him in silently. Sungyeol is all too aware of Myungsoo's presence behind him as they wait in line. It takes him until there's one person ahead of him to turn to look at Myungsoo. "Are you—uh, do you have time?"

The smile that breaks out on Myungsoo's face is nothing short of radiant. Sungyeol quells the need to clutch his heart as it leaps in his chest. Holy , he thinks. Maybe Woohyun's right about more than Sungyeol gives him credit for. "Yeah. I'm off today, so, I—yeah." Myungsoo looks down at the floor, the color in his cheeks rising. (Sungyeol wants to reach out and pinch one of them. To feel the softness of his skin and the warmth radiating from it. He resists.)

Sungyeol turns back to the counter and approaches it to give his order. "One iced Americano, please," he says to the barista. The words have barely left his mouth when Myungsoo brushes past him.

"Can you add a cappuccino to that," he asks. Sungyeol watches him pay for both of their drinks and continues staring as Myungsoo thanks the barista and walks away from the counter. The other stops, as if sensing he's walking alone, and looks over his shoulder at Sungyeol. "I owed you," he explains, confirming Sungyeol's suspicions.

Sungyeol chooses not to remind him that the coffee hadn't been for him. Instead he follows closely behind Myungsoo to a small table by the front window while they wait for their drinks. They shed their coats, and Myungsoo takes off his scarf as well, before sitting down. Sungyeol takes in the cream-colored turtleneck Myungsoo has on, appreciating the way it hugs his body. He probably shouldn't be as surprised to still be so attracted to his ex as he is. But the man is front of him is so very different from the boy he'd grown up with. He now has muscles and a deeper voice and more confidence than Sungyeol remembers him having. Yet, he's also still the same. Like the way he bites his lip as he stares down at the table, probably searching for something to say.

"I don’t mean to sound incredibly self-absorbed," Myungsoo starts. He runs his finger along the edge of the table in front of him, avoiding Sungyeol’s gaze. "But were you waiting for me? In front of the store?"

"Is… Is that okay?" Sungyeol thinks he already knows the answer, but he asks anyway. To his relief, Myungsoo nods. They both seem to run out of words after that and fall silent. Sungyeol supposes it was bound to happen considering the way things ended and how long it's been since. So, it’s all for the best that at that moment the barista calls out Myungsoo’s name.

"It's okay," Myungsoo says when Sungyeol stands up with him. "I'll get it for you."

"But—"

"I don't mind. Really."

Sungyeol wants to insist more, but that'll just waste time and Myungsoo seems more than happy to get both of their drinks. He sits back down slowly as the fight drains out of him. Myungsoo takes another moment to watch him carefully (and probably check if he might change his mind) before he heads to the pick-up counter. Sungyeol's leg starts to bounce as he waits for Myungsoo to come back. He lets out a long breath, trying to calm his racing heart. It hasn't slowed down much since Myungsoo first smiled at him. He pulls up his sleeves and tugs at the collar of his sweater. The store feels too warm suddenly. It probably wouldn't look good if he stepped outside for some cold fresh air, would it?

That idea is quickly thrown out once he notices Myungsoo making his way back to their table. He accepts his cup from the other man with a soft thank you that he silently kicks himself for. Myungsoo doesn't seem to notice as he takes his seat. He's quiet for a beat, holding his mug in both hands and looking at Sungyeol through his lashes.

"I was hoping to run into you again," he admits. Their eyes meet across the table. Sungyeol's are full of surprise and Myungsoo's... Sungyeol isn't sure what the other is feeling. Despite the awkwardness, he looks happy to be with Sungyeol. Or maybe because of him. "That's not a typical reaction, is it? To seeing your ex again?"

Sungyeol notes that he doesn't mention the fact that Sungyeol was the one who ended things. He's grateful for it, though it also confuses him. Years of friendship remind him that Myungsoo is more unconventional than he looks. (Weird was usually the term Sungyeol used, but most of the time he meant it affectionately. Myungsoo's oddness was part of his charm.) It makes sense that that would continue even as ex-boyfriends.

"I'm glad we got to meet again." It's for reassurance as well as the truth. Behind the nerves and fear, Sungyeol is happy to have run into Myungsoo.

Clearing his throat, Myungsoo sets his mug down and clasps his hands together on top of the table. "Do you think we can keep meeting," he requests. He doesn't look away from Sungyeol like the older man expects. Determination lights up his eyes, only making him more attractive to Sungyeol.

The answer comes quickly to Sungyeol. He doesn't even have to think about it. A smile spreads across his face as he says, "Of course."

‖

To Woohyun's utter delight, Sungyeol and Myungsoo do continue to meet up. They start off having coffee together before work. It's awkward, as expected; almost like they're complete strangers. Sungyeol insists on buying their drinks the second time, so it becomes a back and forth where one person pays and then the other pays the next time. They dance around the break-up while catching each other up on their lives.

Sungyeol learns that Myungsoo is a teacher at a nearby high school. He asks him how the students manage to concentrate with such a handsome teacher standing in front of them. Blushing, Myungsoo admits it had been hard at first, but now they've gotten used to it. Plus, the students have come to realize that he's not as cool as he looks.

"Can I meet him," Woohyun asks after Sungyeol relates the information to him. They should be working; there's a whole store to run, after all. But it's a slow day and Woohyun is much more interested in Sungyeol's ex-boyfriend than chocolate.

Sungyeol casts a wary glance at his friend. He's at the counter—draped over it, really; that's such a health code violation—while Sungyeol is restocking the nut-free display. "Why would I want to do something like that?" Woohyun's come up a couple times in Sungyeol's conversations with Myungsoo. The first time, he'd made a point out of calling Woohyun just his friend. He doubts Myungsoo had assumed anything about their relationship, but he wanted his ex to know he was available. Just in case.

"I won't embarrass you."

Sungyeol snorts in disbelief. "I know. I do that well enough by myself," he says sarcastically. Woohyun, the jerk, happily agrees. "That's not the only reason why I don't want to, though."

Woohyun nods knowingly even though Sungyeol hasn't given his reason. "You think he'll end up liking me instead of you. I get it. I'll tone it down when I meet him, don't worry."

Sungyeol would throw the brownie in his hand at him if they didn't have to sell it. "Now you're never meeting him," he states, glaring at his insufferable friend. Woohyun pouts and starts to protest when Sungyeol's phone buzzes in his pocket. They both freeze, caught off guard by the sudden sound.

"Is it him?"

The same question had popped into Sungyeol's head. He'd been the first to ask if they could exchange numbers. Of course, Myungsoo was more than happy to say yes. (Sungyeol is still expecting some amount of anger from the other man, but it's starting to seem less likely.) Setting down the half-empty tray he's holding, Sungyeol pulls his phone out of his pocket. When he turns on the screen he sees a new message from Myungsoo. Although he tries to keep his face neutral, Woohyun still reads him like a book.

"It is, isn't it," he presses. "What does it say? Does he miss you? Does he want to see you? Are you finally going to have something other than coffee together?"

Choosing to ignore Woohyun's prying questions, Sungyeol unlocks his phone to check the message. His mouth quirks slightly at the words on the screen. Once he's done, he pockets the phone and picks up the empty tray to take back into the kitchen.

Woohyun gets up from the counter and catches his arm before he can leave the room. "What did he say?"

"He said hi," Sungyeol answers simply.

"To me?"

Sometimes Sungyeol isn't sure if Woohyun is playing dumb or if that's how he really is. This is also one of those times. "No, not to you." Shrugging off the other's grip, he finally goes into the kitchen. Woohyun follows behind him like an eager puppy waiting for a treat. "He sent me a text saying hi and asking how I am," Sungyeol explains as he drops the tray into the sink.

Woohyun settles on a stool at the work table. "He must've been such a sweet boyfriend," he sighs.

Sungyeol sighs as well. "He was," he admits, leaning against the counter. Myungsoo was the sweetest, most caring boyfriend. That hasn't changed despite their awkward relationship now. He treats Sungyeol better than the older man thinks he deserves and although Sungyeol didn’t think he would, he can already tell he’s falling for his ex-boyfriend again.

"Do you think you guys are gonna get back together?"

Woohyun's question throws Sungyeol a little bit. He's wondered the same thing, but always dismissed it as wishful thinking. Despite how friendly they are with each other now, he doesn't think Myungsoo still has feelings for him (or that he should). "I think that’s up to him." Being the one who ended things, Sungyeol doesn’t think he gets to make that decision.

"But what do you want?" Woohyun doesn’t seem to have the same mindset. "Do you want to get back together," he asks seriously.

Sungyeol wants to make a joke to cut the tension in the room, but if he’s not going to talk to Myungsoo any time soon, then he should at least talk to somebody. Even if that somebody is Woohyun. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before answering. "Maybe," he admits slowly. Despite all the thinking he's been doing, he has yet to make up his mind.

Woohyun crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at him. "You either do or you don't. I'd think after all the time you two have spent together you'd know by now." From his stern tone Sungyeol can tell Woohyun is trying to help him. Of course, the other wants things to work out between them for whatever weird reason—Sungyeol doesn't want to know. But aside from that, he's also Sungyeol's friend. He'll try to help him work through his problems as best as he can.

Sungyeol sighs again. "I guess I do want to be with him," he starts. "But I feel like he shouldn't want that too. I broke up with him and I didn't even have the nerve to do it properly. It seems like he's gotten over it already, though. I mean, it's been years so, of course, he's probably moved on, but..." Woohyun stays silent as Sungyeol works through his thoughts. The younger man is grateful for it. "I just—this feels too easy. We meet each other again suddenly and he's not even a little mad at me. He's actually happy to see me and he wants to hang out and be friends with me. And maybe he wants more than that and, I don't know, I think I want that too, but—"

"You want to suffer some more first," Woohyun finishes the sentence for him. He's smiling slightly and that confuses Sungyeol more than his words. He opens his mouth to ask for an explanation, but Woohyun seems to sense it and raises a hand to stop him. "You're still feeling guilty," he explains, the half-smile still curving one side of his mouth. "You feel bad about hurting him and you're not over the break-up. You thought he would hate you and you'd have to earn his trust again. The fact that he's forgiven you even though you haven't apologized to him yet is throwing you off."

"So, you’re saying I like being miserable?"

Woohyun shrugs. "Maybe you do. Otherwise you would’ve already made a move on him."

Sungyeol really hates when Woohyun says something crazy that ends up actually making sense. He also hates having to admit it. "How am I supposed to end my suffering, then," he asks sarcastically.

"Maybe start by texting him back," Woohyun says with tilt of his chin towards the phone in Sungyeol’s pocket.

‖

"Are you sure it's okay for you to be out on a school night?" Sungyeol eyes Myungsoo on the stool next to him. Myungsoo had been the one who asked for them to meet up, but Sungyeol still feels like he's overstepping. They're at a convenience store around the corner from Sungyeol's place eating snack food that'll most likely leave them bloated in the morning. Myungsoo even insisted on coming to him—Sungyeol doesn't know what to call their relationship now and this isn't helping at all.

Myungsoo covers his mouth as he chuckles. "It's not like we're drinking. I won't get a hangover from triangle kimbap and ramyun." He takes a bite from his half-eaten kimbap as if to prove his point. "Plus," he adds through a mouthful of rice (Sungyeol notes the smugness in his tone), "I can stay out as late as I want. I'm an adult."

Sungyeol bites back his own laughter, his eyes fixed on the grains of rice sticking to his ex's face. Another reminder of how much Myungsoo hasn't changed. He reaches over to pluck the offending food from the other's cheek. "But you still eat like a teenager," he jokingly teases Myungsoo. He's never told him, but Sungyeol always thought the other man looked cute while eating. Now doesn't seem like the right time to mention it, though, so he keeps it to himself. "Is that why your students like you so much? Because you're practically one of them?"

Myungsoo shakes his head, his cheeks still a bit pink from embarrassment. "I think they like me for the same reason they like you," he says before stuffing the last bite of kimbap in his mouth.

He doesn't have to say it for Sungyeol to understand what he means. The chocolate store where he works is a bit of a hangout for a lot of the students—well, mainly the girls—from Myungsoo's school. It's especially popular around Valentine's Day and White Day. Sungyeol is used to getting shy compliments and surreptitious glances from many of the teens that frequent the store.

Sungyeol busies himself with gathering their empty wrappers and bottles to avoid looking at Myungsoo's face. His ex-boyfriend just called him handsome (in a roundabout sort of way) and it's both flattering and nerve-wracking. Not to mention, it doesn't help the jumble of feelings Sungyeol has about the other man. He decides to brush off the comment. "Are you trying to flatter me into giving you free chocolate?"

The dimple in Myungsoo's cheek becomes visible as he smiles widely. He rests his elbow on the counter and props his chin on his hand. "Is it working," he sends back.

Honestly, Sungyeol thinks he would give Myungsoo the shirt off his back if he asked, especially if coupled with that dimpled smile. "Not really," he lies, copying Myungsoo's pose. "Since I remember you always saying you don't like sweet things." Not that that ever stopped the younger man from eating sugary foods.

Myungsoo’s subsequent silence, and blush, shows he remembers as well. "I don’t know if those were my exact words," he mumbles just loud enough for Sungyeol to hear.

With a laugh, Sungyeol leans closer to Myungsoo. "Don't worry, I know you like to make exceptions." It's only after the words leave his mouth that he realizes this could be considered flirting. He wonders if Myungsoo sees it that way.

"Does that mean I'm getting free chocolate?"

Sungyeol takes that as Myungsoo's answer as well as an okay to continue. "I can get you the chocolate," he tells Myungsoo, "but it won't be free. My boss is kinda cheap. I mean, even I don't get anything for free."

"Can't you just make your own chocolate at home," Myungsoo points out. He's fighting a smile like he can tell Sungyeol is being unreasonable on purpose. He's also leaning in as well, leaving only a good half foot of space between them.

Sungyeol hums in thought as he playfully narrows his eyes at Myungsoo. "So now you want me to personally make you chocolate, huh? I didn't know you were this smooth."

"I'm still not hearing a no from you."

"I haven't exactly said yes either." Sungyeol doesn't realize how close they've ended up until the door to the convenience store opens and a group of office workers spill in. When Myungsoo straightens up in his seat it seems like he's suddenly out of reach. Sungyeol wants to pull him close again, but he knows that's not the best idea at the moment. The arrival of new customers must have broken whatever nostalgic spell they'd been under because the beautiful smile is gone from Myungsoo's face.

"It's late," he says, standing up. He avoids Sungyeol's eyes as he dusts off his clothes and picks up his coat from the back of his chair. "We should get going."

After a moment's hesitation, Sungyeol follows suit. As he's slipping on his jacket, Myungsoo goes to throw out their trash. Sungyeol's holding his scarf for him when he comes back. The smart thing to do would be to simply hand the younger man the scarf and wait for him to put it on so they can leave. But Sungyeol isn't smart. At least not when it comes to Myungsoo; he's sure of that. So, instead he steps into his ex-boyfriend's personal space and loops the long scarf gently around his neck once, then twice.

Myungsoo stays silent, his gaze fixed on Sungyeol the whole time. His mouth hangs open slightly like he might say something. It seems like there's hope (or something close to it) shining in his eyes. Or maybe Sungyeol is projecting his own feelings. He holds onto the ends of the scarf, unsure of how to continue. In his head (and most of those dramas Woohyun forces him to watch), this would be the part where they kiss. It would be slow and sweet and beautifully backlit with a love song playing in the background. But this is real life. The soundtrack to this moment is a late-night weather report and the workers checking out at the register.

"Thank you," Myungsoo says quietly. He takes a small step back and lets his gaze fall to the floor. His scarf easily slips from Sungyeol's hands. For a few seconds, they stand in awkwardly front of each other, waiting for the other to move first. Being technically closer to the door, Sungyeol turns to lead the way. He doesn't look back to see if Myungsoo's following him.

The younger man falls into step next to him once they get outside. Sungyeol doesn't have to guess his intentions. "You don't have to walk me home," he says.

"I know, but I made you come all the way out here this late at night. It's the least I can do. And I want to."

The honest statement makes Sungyeol's heart beat faster in his chest. It must mean that Myungsoo cares about him. Maybe it's just as friends, maybe it's deeper than that, but to Sungyeol it's reassuring. He doesn't respond, letting his body language speak for him. He keeps the distance between them short, though he tries to be subtle about it. If Myungsoo notices, he doesn't bring it up. Sungyeol is almost certain he's actually enjoying it. Their hands bump a couple times as they walk up the hill to Sungyeol's apartment. The older man considers holding Myungsoo's hand just for a little while. He's curious to see how the other will react. But just as he stretches his fingers out, Myungsoo turns his head to look at him.

"You know," he starts off slowly, "we still haven't settled this whole chocolate thing." The smile is back on his face and Sungyeol wishes it would never leave. "Are you making it for me or do I have to go sweet talk your boss instead?"

"After everything I've told him about you, he'd probably give you whole store if you asked."

"You talked to him about me?" To Sungyeol's relief, Myungsoo doesn't sound or look freaked out. If anything, he seems amazed (and maybe a touch excited).

"A little," Sungyeol lies. "Only good things, though."

Myungsoo lets out a short laugh, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. "I still think I should be worried about what you might've told him. Maybe I should meet him so I can clear up any misconceptions he probably has about me."

Sungyeol nearly trips from the butterflies that spring up in his stomach. It's a good thing they're nearly in front of Sungyeol's apartment. The fact that Myungsoo wants to meet Woohyun makes it feel like they've already taken things to the next level. Granted, he doesn't know that Sungyeol and Woohyun are friends yet, but that doesn't make the moment feel any less important. "He thinks you're great," Sungyeol assures the other man as they reach the steps leading up to Sungyeol's front door. "He'd probably adopt you if you were a cat."

Myungsoo nods slowly as he climbs the steps with Sungyeol. They turn to face each other once they're in front of the door. "Now I really am worried about what kinds of conversations you two have had about me," Myungsoo smirks.

The expression manages to fluster Sungyeol enough that it takes him a moment to sort out his thoughts. His response comes belatedly. "They're just the normal kinds of conversations people working in a chocolate store have. You know, to pass the time."

Although he doesn't look convinced, Myungsoo doesn't press it. He takes a step closer to Sungyeol and changes the subject. "Thanks for meeting me tonight. I had a lot of fun."

Sungyeol wouldn't necessarily call their night fun, but knowing Myungsoo he's sure the other considers anything involving food fun. He did enjoy their time together, though. It feels like this is the closest they've been since meeting each other again—both literally and figuratively. "I'm glad you called," he admits. "I wanted to see you." He only gets a second’s warning before Myungsoo’s lips are on his. Caught by surprise (though not completely because he’d have to be blind not to notice the way the other man has been looking at him all night), Sungyeol stands unmoving as his body catches up to his brain. His hands come up to hold Myungsoo’s waist and keep him close. He tilts his head, letting his eyes fall shut as he deepens the kiss. Myungsoo’s arms are wrapped around his neck bringing his body flush with Sungyeol's.

The moment feels perfect. And so right after all the time Sungyeol has spent telling himself he doesn't deserve having Myungsoo back in his life. Sungyeol is finally willing to admit that Woohyun had been right. He had been torturing himself with his own guilt, but now he wants to be happy. More importantly, he wants to be happy with Myungsoo.

When they pull away from each other to catch their breaths, Myungsoo presses his face into the crook of Sungyeol's neck. His breath feels hot against the older man's skin as he breathes in and out. "I missed you," he says quietly.

Sungyeol doesn't realize he's been waiting for those words until he hears them. If only so he can say it back. His moves to hold Myungsoo and he feels the other's arms tighten in response. "I missed you, too."

‖

Sungyeol isn't a shy person by any means. He likes attention even if he doesn't actively seek it. But standing in front of the high school with a small crowd of curious teenagers staring at him and whispering while he waits for Myungsoo isn't the kind of attention he's used to. It's kind of his own fault for showing up without telling his ex—he should probably start calling Myungsoo something else; like his friend or acquaintance. He also regrets not bringing a pair of sunglasses or a scarf big enough to cover his entire face.

After the kiss they'd shared the night before, Sungyeol had wondered what their relationship had become. Were they back together now? Was either the kiss or the confession supposed to mean that? Or was it just Myungsoo's way of getting closure? Sungyeol didn't have any of the answers and he figured at midnight Woohyun wouldn't either. So he'd tried to sleep and leave those questions for the next day. By morning, he'd come to a (rather obvious) decision. And after getting a second opinion from Woohyun, Sungyeol had found himself waiting outside of Myungsoo's school.

The last bell has already rung and most of the students are milling about around the courtyard and by the gates. There's nothing stopping Sungyeol from going into the school and seeking Myungsoo out except for his nerves. That seems like too much of a surprise, though. Standing out here in the cold is more polite—at least, Sungyeol hopes Myungsoo will think so. Maybe he's overthinking it. Myungsoo would probably be happier if Sungyeol showed up in his classroom. He'd feel bad for making Sungyeol wait in the cold for him. It's probably better if he goes inside. Maybe they'll run into each other and—

"Sungyeol?"

He looks up in surprise at the sound of his name. Myungsoo is standing in front of him, looking as perfect as ever in his thick coat and long scarf. It takes Sungyeol a moment to notice someone else is next to him. Myungsoo catches the direction of Sungyeol's gaze and hurries to make introductions. "Sungyeol, this is Dongwoo. He's a nurse here. Dongwoo, this is my, uh, friend Sungyeol."

The two of them exchange polite bows and Dongwoo gives him a welcoming smile. "I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you."

A glance at Myungsoo's blushing face tells Sungyeol that Dongwoo probably wasn't supposed to reveal that first part. He doesn't mind, though. It just means they're even now. And the fact that they’ve both talked to their friends about each other must mean something. "If you’re happy to see me I guess he must not have told you everything about me," he says to Dongwoo. He's mostly joking.

Shaking his head slightly, Dongwoo laughs along with him. "No, he did. But I still wanted to meet you. Myungsoo talks about you all the time. He even told me you two—" Whatever he'd been about to say is interrupted by Myungsoo's hand coming up to cover his mouth. It's pointless, though, since Sungyeol can already guess where Dongwoo was going.

"Don't you have to go now," Myungsoo laughs nervously. He pulls on Dongwoo’s arm as he drops his hand from the nurse’s mouth. "You’re so busy."

Dongwoo laughs again, louder this time, but obliges. "I’ll let you guys talk. I am pretty busy, after all."

Sungyeol hides his smile behind his hand as he watches Myungsoo quickly wave his friend off. He can understand the other’s embarrassment. He expects that much if not more from Woohyun when he finally meets Myungsoo.

"What are you doing here," Myungsoo asks once Dongwoo’s walked away. "I mean, it's great to see you, but I just—I wasn't expecting it to be so soon."

"I wanted to see you." Myungsoo ducks his head to hide a shy smile and Sungyeol momentarily forgets where they are and who might be looking. He just wants to pull the other man close and kiss every inch of his adorably cute face. "I wanted to talk, too," he says instead. "About... You know." He notices some students pretending to mind their own business a few feet away. "Should we go inside or..."

Myungsoo shakes his head, looking up to meet Sungyeol's eyes. "I know a place."

They end up at a park a couple blocks away. The walk is spent in silence, both of them trying to think of something to talk about besides the obvious. Myungsoo leads Sungyeol to a bench under a tall tree. The bare branches don't offer any shade from the afternoon sun. They sit facing a small pond that’s frozen over.

"So, we kissed last night," Sungyeol blurts out. There doesn't seem to be any other way to bring it up. They might as well get over the awkwardness.

"Yeah, we did," Myungsoo agrees, smiling crookedly at him. "I liked it."

"Look, before we get into...that, um, can I—there's something else I want to say. I'm sorry. For breaking up with you," Sungyeol explains at the confused look Myungsoo gives him. "Especially the way that I did. I know I hurt you and I still feel terrible about it. I thought you'd still hate me when I saw you again, but you've been nothing but sweet to me. I didn't think I deserved any amount of kindness from you—part of me still doesn't, actually—but there's a bigger part of me that's happy you're back in my life and I really don't want to screw it up again."

Myungsoo's expression softens as Sungyeol speaks. He reaches for the other's hand and threads their fingers together. "I've never hated you. I mean, I was angry at first because I thought you didn't care about us anymore. And I felt stupid, like I was the only one who didn't realize it. But after some time, I started to understand why things ended the way they did. You were right," he admits. "We were too young and that was a big decision. I didn't want any space from you back then, but I don't think I would've done any of the things I did or even become who I am now without it. And I like who I am now, so I guess I should be thanking you instead."

This isn't quite how Sungyeol had envisioned his apology unfolding. Myungsoo is being so understanding and reasonable. "Do you forgive me, then?" Sungyeol can't help feeling nervous. It can't really be this easy, can it?

Myungsoo nods fervently. "I do."

"So does this mean we're starting over? You know, going from friends to boyfriends again?"

"I'd like that," Myungsoo smiles up at Sungyeol. Now there's no mistaking the hope in his eyes. Or the love as he leans in to place a soft kiss on Sungyeol's lips. He lets out a small laugh when he pulls back. "Sorry, I keep kissing you without asking you first. I should have better self-control."

Sungyeol looks down at their connected hands, running his thumb across Myungsoo’s knuckles. "I don’t mind," he assures him. "You can kiss me whenever you want." As soon as the words leave his mouth he wonders if he’ll ever come to regret them. Especially since Myungsoo takes it as an invitation to press their lips together again. The kiss is unabashed and unrestrained. Compared to the kiss from the night before, this one is even better. Myungsoo must have been holding himself back until now. His hands end up in Sungyeol’s hair, pulling slightly on the strands. His scarf is getting in the way, but neither of them can be bothered to move it at the moment. It feels like they’re making up for lost time; for all the years they’d been without each other. And in a way Sungyeol thinks the time they’d spent apart was worth it for this moment.

‖ Epilogue ‖

The third time Myungsoo thinks of proposing to Sungyeol, the older man beats him to it. It doesn't take very long in the months after they get back together for Sungyeol to realize that he never wants to be apart from Myungsoo ever again. The other man means the world to him and he would do just about anything for him. So, the next logical step is to ask Myungsoo to be with him for the rest of their lives.

Woohyun has several ideas about how Sungyeol should propose. They're all elaborate and cheesy and Sungyeol can't imagine Myungsoo saying yes because of any of them. Naturally, Woohyun's help is declined. Sungyeol already has a plan, anyway.

He lets himself into Myungsoo's apartment one day while the younger man is still at work. It's actually the last day of school for Myungsoo, so Sungyeol knows he won't be back too soon. Myungsoo had informed him that the teachers and staff usually go out for drinks to celebrate. He'd also promised to keep his celebrating short so he and Sungyeol can have a celebration of their own. (Sungyeol doesn't know what that means, but he likes the sound of it.) From the looks of things, Sungyeol has just the right amount of time to set up everything before Myungsoo stumbles in, probably a little drunker than either of them had anticipated.

He doesn't start to feel nervous until he gets a text from Myungsoo saying he's on the way back. It's about a quarter to seven and he's finished preparing his proposal. The apartment still looks the same save for a few romantic touches. He'd scattered some rose petals on the floor and turned off all the lights except for the one in the living room, which he dimmed. He doesn't bother with dressing up too much, opting for casual as he suspects it won't matter much what he's wearing by the end of the night.

After fifteen minutes that feel more like an hour, Sungyeol goes to stand in front of the door to meet Myungsoo when he comes in. His palms are sweaty and his heart is pounding. He thinks seeing Myungsoo could both calm him down and make him even more anxious. It’s taken him literally years to get to this point. He was nowhere near ready before, but now he’s so ready, so excited for this next step.

The door beeps and opens as he’s imagining the look on Myungsoo’s face when he sees the ring. Myungsoo doesn’t quite stumble in, but his steps aren’t perfectly straight and it takes a second for him to focus on Sungyeol. "What are you doing here," he asks, his eyebrows raised high. "I mean, not here, but, like, here. Here at the door."

Sungyeol chuckles softly at his tipsy boyfriend. "I’m trying to surprise you."

"I think you did."

Sungyeol laughs again and reaches out to bring Myungsoo further into the apartment. Myungsoo glues himself to his side instantly, resting his head on Sungyeol’s shoulder. They move into the living room and Myungsoo stays attached to Sungyeol even when they sit down. "I’m not done surprising you yet," Sungyeol says as Myungsoo starts kissing up Sungyeol’s neck. "There’s one more."

The taste of alcohol is still lingering on Myungsoo’s tongue when he kisses Sungyeol. It’s bordering on unpleasant, but Sungyeol finds something thrilling about it as well. He lets Myungsoo kiss him a bit more, his hands slipping off the younger's jacket and loosening his tie. Sungyeol finally pulls away when Myungsoo settles on his lap. There'll be time later for all of that; he should get the proposal out of the way first.

"Your surprise," he mumbles against Myungsoo's lips.

"Can't it wait?" Myungsoo goes back to nipping at Sungyeol's neck, alternating between soft bites and soothing kisses.

If he wasn't so committed to asking Myungsoo to marry him, Sungyeol would agree. It takes every ounce of his self-control to resist pulling Myungsoo closer. "I don't want to wait," he replies. Myungsoo shifts in his lap to pout at him. Sungyeol still isn't sure how drunk he is. Reaching around Myungsoo, he picks up the heart-shaped box he'd left on the coffee table.

"Chocolate?" The unimpressed look on Myungsoo's face says it all.

Sungyeol doesn't expect him to remember the conversation they'd had all those months ago in the state he's in now. It won't hurt to try to remind him, though. "It's a little late, but I made them myself like you asked."

"When did I…" Myungsoo's voice peters out as the memory comes back to him. A fond smile spreads across his face. "You know I was just kidding, right?" He accepts the box from Sungyeol, his fingers absently rubbing the shiny plastic. "You didn't have to."

"I know. I still want you to look inside, though."

The moment seems to stretch as Myungsoo pulls off the lid of the box. He's silent while his eyes take in the contents. Sungyeol doesn't know what to make of his expression. Nestled among the chocolates Sungyeol had carefully and lovingly made himself, is a small velvet ring box. The best part of it, though, is the ring that's inside. It's an exact match of the ring Myungsoo had given Sungyeol on the school roof.

Myungsoo glances at Sungyeol before gingerly picking up the ring box and setting the chocolates on the couch next to them. He opens the box slowly like he doesn't know what he'll find. "This..." Myungsoo's eyes are glistening the next time he looks at Sungyeol. The older man had been sure Myungsoo would recognize the ring the second he saw it. He had been the one who picked it in the first place.

Sungyeol holds up his hand to show his boyfriend the ring he's kept since the day they broke up. Returning it had seemed too cruel at the time and then it became a reminder of what could have been and would probably never be. But after meeting Myungsoo again, it started to feel like a possibility. Not exactly in the near future, but still likely. "I thought it would be nice to match," he explains at Myungsoo's apparent speechlessness. "I was afraid it might be too soon, considering everything that's happened between us. But then I figured since we've known each other our whole lives it's probably more overdue than anything else. And I don't want to make the same mistake again. I love you. I've always loved you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. That is, if you'll have me?"

Myungsoo nods so strongly, Sungyeol thinks his head might fall off. "Yes. Of course, I want to marry you. I have since I was five," he admits with a teary laugh. Sungyeol wipes away the tears pooling at the corners of Myungsoo's eyes. "I love you, too."