trust

It's alright if you're going to leave for a while.

Instinctly, Somin inhaled a sharp breath as she slipped out from the door of her apartment. Glancing through the pitch black sky, an utterly defeated expression pasted on her face. As if the dim light were not convincing enough, she staggered few more steps forward. 

Sleep walking? Obviously this couldnt be her first. She had passed the so-called forgiveness age where whatever reason she came up with would able cover up for her illness. Twenty-six, but yet she would still get confused of the dawn and daylight.

“Huh,” A snort released from . “You wouldn't be doing this again tomorrow...” she made herself a promise. Unknowingly slanted a glance at her feet, only then she realized that the shoes she wore didn't match. “How many times has this been happening...” 

On the next seconds, she rushed inside her apartment, left out her each pair of shoes outside the door, already not caring if it'd be stolen or goes missing later on.

As usual, she really  lived up to her expectation as a woman who’s easily gives up on things.

***

“Why didn’t you come with Matthew?”

Somin's eyes perked at the moment that question was thrown to her by some random stranger she couldn't even know from which direction. Her hold tightened on her purse as she carefully walked ahead of everyone else who'd eventually swivelled their head, interestedly eyeing on her with deep penetrating look, as if it'd yell any hints of anything. By now, it shouldn't surprise Somin but it still didn't stop her from feeling angsty.

Her sweetest downfall was Matthew, her former boyfriend. Who wouldn't know that? It was like a tag that would haunt her forever.

Somin did her research before coming to their university reunion tonight. Moments like this, where all eyes were on her, she tried to look as if displaying her gorgeous auburn hair was all that mattered. She had to look good since not attending wouldn’t do her any good.

“Somin ah, come sit with us!” Some familiar faces were waving at her direction. Consumed by her own memories which trying hard to remember each of them, she subconsciously threw a somewhat suspicious glare to their direction.

"Here, we've barely safe this seat for you," the plaid dress lady held out one hand on Somin, who seemingly frowned as if she was forced onto something. "What's with that look..." said the lady while arching an eyebrow.

"Angela, you might not want to stare at Somin that long...Matthew could be just around the corner ya know," the voice owner burst into laughter which were then followed by many others. 

While smirking, Somin replied, "It's so yesterday...everything was." She said bitterly and without anymore words, she marched towards the food corner. It'd be more beneficial to only focus upon the sounds of her stomach instead.

"So, why don't you tell us?" In a flash, the glass of wine which was in Somin's graps seconds ago had already shifted into another person's posession. Somin quickly said her prayer repeatedly inside her mind. If she were to scream in shock due to this small incident, no doubt she'd become a laughing stock again.

At the corner of her eyes, she saw a guy who was wearing an expensive looking tuxedo for the night. As her vision becoming clearer, the guy revised his question, "Did Matthew ran away? We didn't hear much from the trials anymore...has the court finalized on his alleged murder's case?"  Venom tinged the person's voice.

On the spur of the moment, Somin's mind seemed to blackout on its own. As if she was towered by tall, dark figures from every direction, she almost deluded that her windpipe might have been blocked by something bizzare. 

"Why didn't you stay with him? He committed a sin just for you..."

"He committed a sin for you..."

"He committed a sin for you..."

The last words echoed through every ounce of defence that have left inside of her. Somin tried to act apathetic but it was futile. No one would hear her. No one interested to listen to her answer let alone the plead on her devastated face. They thought it'd be more meaningful to strip her emotion dry just so she would break loose in front of everyone. Why do they thirst for her tears so much?

Believeing that this was not the end, with the surge of determination, Somin turned and made sure to stare at every faces that present during the night. Her lips formed a thin smile as she boldly snatch her previous wine from the gentleman. She then faked a smile on him before moving away, completely facing the whole crowd of so called friends.

She almost shouted, "Why didn't I stay with him?" 

The hall was silence by her raging voice. Slowly, very slowly one palms of hers was placed on top of her chest. "Because this thing here...had changed." And with that, she could finally exhaled a breath. An unfamiliar images took form in her mind as her eyes closed.

"I used to trust no one when my world was tainted by darkness. It was when I've loved you first that I've come to lost the ability to even trust myself."

LOVE IS A BEAUTIFUL PAIN