"I'm home". Jinki slung opened the dorm door and came in with his bag and some gifts which were given by fans when he was leaving after the Gaon Awards and their award in one hand. He placed the trophy slowely on the living room table and went to the kitchen right away since he heard some cutting sounds from there. 
"Oh, hyung, I saw some videos uploaded on net. You did a great job today". Key said while taking his head away from what he has been cutting and gave a big smily face. 
"Where are the others? I know that Jonghyun went earlier to the studio, but what about Minho and Taemin?" Jinki asked while getting a bottle of cool water from the refridgerater. He drank all the water like he has been without water for days.
"Well, Minho got a call form Jihan saying that there will be a reunion party tonight. And... Taemin, I think he went outside for a walk. He didn't tell me". 
Key arranged all the food on the table and sat to eat. Jinki was surprised to see that he was about to eat without waiting for their maknae.
"Aren't you going to wait for Taemin? He must be coming by now"
"I guess not, hyung". Key said with a rather worried face not even looking at Jinki. Jinki got the thought right away that something has happened without him knowing. 
"Why is that? What happened? Did you two had a fight, and without me?" Jinki said jokingly, acting as if he hasn't noticed anything wrong. He knew that something isn't correct with Jonghyun, Key and Minho since yesterday. But he couldn't ask any of them about it because he himself was nervous about attending the awards alone.
"Hyung, didn't you noticed anything strange about Taemin yesterday after you told us that you were excited and nervous about today? We three noticed that and talked about it, but didn't tell you cause we knew that you had to think about a lot". 
"I'm sorry. I didn't really saw that. And I barely saw him yesterday. I thought he went for dance practices in the evening". 
"No, hyung. He was home, the whole day yesterday. And yeah, he barely talked with us too. He didn't ate much and he was in his room most of the time". Key's face got more worried as he kept on saying. Jinki hasn't seen this side of him for a long. He knew that Key takes care of Taemin the most in the group and he checks everytime whether he's alright. But it was unexpected.
"Didn't you asked why?" It was the only thing that Jinki thought that was left for him to ask. He felt so bad about his ownself for not being able to take care of the maknae properly. 
"I asked. I asked him several times if he was ok. But, he just said that nothing's wrong everytime i asked. And the last time I asked him, I saw that his eyes were so red, as if he has been crying. I didn't want to see him cry. You know, right? He doesn't like to appear like a child in front of us now". Key was sobbing at the end. He really dislike it when their loving maknae is in pain. Jinki knew it more any other.
He stood up and went to Key so that he could give him a comforting hug. Key didn't want to look up and kept on looking at his now empty plate. 
"It's ok, Kibum. It's non of your fault". He tugged him on his chest and gave him a friendly pat. "Kibum, can I ask you something? Do you think that it's because of the award thing?" Jinki asked the thing that he has been holding back for a long while. Because other than that, he thought there couldn't be any other way for Taemin to act that way. 
"I think the same way too. It must be because of that. Even if he doesn't shows out much, about not recieving it, I think he's a lot more sad". 

Both of them wrapped up the things after washing and all in the kitchen. Key didn't forgot to keep a plate of food for Taemin so that he could give him after heating it up when he comes back. 
Jinki saw the sleepy look on Key's face and told him to go to sleep and that he'll wait till Taemin comes. 
He switched on the television and kept staring on the screen as if he's not really watching anything. His mind was somewhere else.
He remembered their old times when they were all happy and good.

Before 3 or 4 years, even with so much of schedules, all day and night, they were happy and was in their good conditions. It's not that they aren't like that now. But, he felt somewhat sad. He didn't knew what was the exact reason. 
Jonghyun is engaged in his favourite things, like his radio program and his composing things. He didn't want to have a busy time. Key is doing well with his fashion things and he was as always bragging about what great work he does, which the 4 of them loved so much to hear. Minho is going out most of the time for reunion parties and for magazine interviews too. He's busy recently. And then, Taemin, he spend most of the time in the practice room and studio because he, and they all know that it's his favourite place out there where he could be a free soul, as Jinki describes. And about him, he goes out with his friends and also has a little studio for his own. He can do anything he want there. He liked it so much, that he has been working on a good lot of compositions lately too. 
He thought, "Nothing's bad. Everything's working out the way we all want. But, why do I feel so down?"   

Jinki was in deep thought when he heard the front door slowely opens and someone tip toed in. He quickly switched off the TV without making any sound. From the small figure, he knew that it was Taemin.

After sometime, he heard Taemin's door being opened and closed. Jinki knew that it's the best time for him to handle on the matter.
He went near Taemin's room and was going to knock when he heard sounds of sniffs from inside. "Is he crying, again?" Jinki thought to himself. He waited there for a sometime till the sniffing sound stop.
He entered into the room without knocking and saw Taemin's small body on his bead tugged in his white soft blanket. He was facing the wall, so without making much sound, Jinki got on to the bed and hugged him from the back.
"Jinki hyung?". Taemin knew from the chubby arms wrapped around him that it was his Jinki hyung's. 
"What are you doing, hyung? It's late. Go and sleep". Even though he said so, he didn't wanted him to leave. He liked being in that way because that's all he needed at that moment. 
"Why, can't I give my little prince a hug?" Taemin was so moved from Jinki's words that he again ended up tearing. He didn't wanted to cry in that state, so he tried his very best to control himself.
Jinki knew that. Jinki knew that he'll act like everything's ok and that he's not sad at all. After almost 10 years of being together, he knew about his bandmates a lot.
"It's ok, Taemin. Cry it out. Cry it all out so that you could feel no pain anymore."

Taemin cried for real. He didn't sniffed or tried to control himself anymore. He let out all inside that was so painful to bear to his small heart. He knew that, all he wanted was someone's comfort. That was all he needed.
"Hyung, I'm not sad about not getting the award. I'm not angry at anyone for that. I'm just mad about myself for not working hard enough to be able to achieve it. I'm angry about my ownself for being so greedy. You know, I'm really excited when I see all our fans cheering when I go on stage. It's like, I completely forget everything, songs, melodies and my own dance moves when I hear them. And it's like I'm doing all the things they need from me. I love to see them and hear them cheering me". 
He stopped to take a deep breath. 
"And now, I feel like I won't hear them anymore. I feel like they'll leave me, and all of us. I'm afraid that it'll be all because of me. I'm scared, hyung". He turned around and hide his face under Jinki's chest, like a small child. Jinki felt like his heart stopped from what he heard at that moment. Their maknae, he has grown so much. He knows so much about everything now. He didn't knew for all this time that their sweet loving Taemin has grown into such a matured person. He was happy about it, but was sad at the same time for not being able to know his pain. 
"Aigoo, Taemin-ah... when did you stopped being our little cute maknae? You're all grown up now. I'm sorry for not noticing it before".

Jinki patted his back slowely.

"You know what, Taemin. Do you think that such a small award can make our fans disappointed? Do you think that they'll leave us because you didn't won it? No. They're not like that. They'll never be that way. They'll be with us forever. I'm so sure of that. And..., how can you say that you didn't do well? No one would ever believe that. We all know how hard you worked those days just for the album to be a success. Every person around you know that how rarely you rested. We were all scared that you'll be sick working that much hard. But, you're strong, Taemin. More than you think. And no matter what others think or say, four of us know that you're". 
Jinki's eyes started to fill with tears when he didn't even want that to happen. He didn't wanted to sound small, when he should be strong at that time in order to make Taemin believe in himself.

"Thank you, hyung. Thank you for taking care of us for all these years. It must have been so hard for you. Yeah, it should be. I'm sorry for breaking down for such a small thing when it's nothing big compared to what you've gone through. I'm sorry for making you all sad".
That's just what Jinki didn't wanted to hear at that moment because he knew, even if he doesn't cry or show his emotional side oftenly, his heart is weak for such words, specially from s. He tried his his very best to hide his tears, but he couldn't. 
"Hyung, are you crying?" Taemin looked up at him immediately. Jinki, with his teary eyes, saw Taemin's rather small eyes, those eyes that he saw for the first time 9 years ago, those same eyes with kindness and care overloaded. It hasn't changed at all. 
"No, I'm not crying. It's just...., tears of joy, I think". Jinki said in a funny way, even if both didn't felt that it was funny at all. But, as always, Taemin laughed at it. Even if others think that Jinki's puns aren't funny, Taemin found something funny behind each of them. 
"It's ok to cry, hyung, atleast at these times". 
"Ok. Ok. I'll cry as much as I want later. But now, we need to sleep. Remember, it'll be quite a busy day tommorow". 
Both of them tugged in the small bed inside the huge blanket. It wasn't a cold night, but they liked being that way. 

Before going to sleep, Jinki found the reason why he's not happy recently. It was because he couldn't take much care of s. He didn't knew that they go through so much. So, he determined to be the old Jinki hyung he used to be. Jinki hyung, who loved them and cared for them in all their happy and hard times.

He loves them and they love him too. Their love isn't something that can only be read in fanfics. They love each other, always...