no darkness
No Season Can Last Forever
“
You know it all, you're my bestfriend
achimun dasi ol geoya
Sometimes, when the world spins too fast, when the music is too loud, and when the lights are too bright, he closes his eyes and slips into oblivion, followed by the tinkling of her voice accompanied by the light strumming of an accoustic guitar. Yet, he could not, for the love of his life, remember her face nor her name. It is only in his dreams that he is acquainted with her once more. There, she has a name, with guileless eyes, and a starry smile.
For he does not know her in his waking hours, he could not speak about the way his heart would beat louder every second he would lay his gaze upon hers, until it finally burst. Even then, he has no words, for her identity is lost in the obscurity of his dreams.
It is a strange kind of dream, he thinks, filled with pretty eyes, and hazy smiles, and a deep-belly ache that came from too much laughter. They are on the floor of his room, surrounded by the mess they've made―a giggling, snorting mess like always. He doesn't know what's so funny, but they would share a look and the laughter would start back up again. A niggling at the back of his mind would hiss reality, like the snake hissed when he offered Eve the fruit that is forbidden. So he would snicker, inciting another round of guffaws, and would disagree because he's in heaven, with her nameless eyes, nameless smiles, nameless laughter, and nameless face.
Then he remembers, and like a speaker unplugged at the middle of the song, she is gone, leaving only dust fluttering in his softly lit room.
Jungkook would wake up, his chest heavy and head addled. But he would take one look at the sleeping faces of his brothers in band, and knows that the world would right itself, for nothing can break him without shattering the bulletproof bond of their fraternity first.
For her, it is a memory; the little snips of a good life that she grips onto, for without it she would slip into oblivion and drown, never to return. For her, it is a respite amidst the chaos that is her life. She would lie awake on her bed for hours on end, his voice in her ears and his golden features flickering behind her closed lids. Sometimes, if she retreats deep enough in her thoughts, she still feels his head on her shoulder, or his fingers enclosed in her palms - a ridiculous attempt in teaching him how to play the guitar.
His ghost is her shield against the cold during the nights she couldn't pay for rent in full; his voice her balm during the days her neighbors have ridiculously loud domestic rows.
She knew him for a year, and they were friends for even less.
But goddamn, he was the best thing that happened to her.
Yet, there are times she envies him. And sometimes, that envy turns to hate; rare moments when even his name couldn't pull her from the deep abyss that she swam herself into. She envies his happiness, his fame, and his money. Abhorrence would fester in her chest, like a mold infestation that she feeds and cares for.
But not for him.
Oh, no, not for him.
For herself. For coveting what is his and his alone; for desiring his life in exchange for hers; for obsessing over the illusion she built around him. Yet, what is the night that does not yearn and covet for the brightness of the day in hopes it, in itself, can harness the light that the day emits?
Hyo Ja Eun is that darkness, forever chasing the trail of brilliance that Jeon Jeongguk leaves.
Author's Note : I don't know if anyone really reads my notes, but here it is lol. So, this was decidedly a one shot, but I didn't like how it flows, so I chopped it into two and got this trash! Voilá! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT PYO.
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