-I must be crazy. I can’t feel this way.

 

But I was unable to stop my heart from beating this fast. What did I do? Why did I became in love with… him?

 

 

I’m Lee Seung Hoon. Straightforward. Goofy. I like playing computer games, rap and dancing. Recently i started cooking. It’s pretty fun.

 

Anyhow. I received a phone call from YG last week - telling me that I’ll do a variety show. I was so happy. I love going on TV show - even more when it’s not about a music contest ( Never again - please kill me instead ).

 

I’ll be going on We got married… But it’s a special episode. I’ll be with a foreigner. Someone that is not an idol. They think it will helps the rating and that the fans will be able to see themselves in the other girl or something.

 

You know me - I’m more than okay with that. Me, another girl, for a tv show? I’m all in.

 

I’m in my van - going to the studio. I’ll be staying there for few days only. People think that the tv show is recorded for many weeks. The true is that everything is filmed under 5 days. I’ll sleep there, eat there. I’ll do everything there. But they will only keep the interesting part. So I don’t think we will see me sleeping.

 

I smiled.

 

Jjangmae, my manager is driving. MBC studio are not too far from our building but for the first episode we will meet somewhere special. On the Han river, where it’s the most romantic.

 

-Ash… I hope she will be beautiful, hyung.

 

I heard him laughing.

 

-Ne. She should be. As she will appear on TV.

-Do you think she will be a fan of Winner?

-Yah, I don’t know more than you, you know.

-If she is, she won’t be able to resist my charms.

 

I pat my hair, trying to get more charming.

 

He laughed again.

 

I knew it was a act. That everything was fake. But it was okay. I was going to enjoy it anyway.

 

I looked at a mirror, repeating some script I had to say.

 

-You are gorgeous…. Woah, are you really not an Idol?

 

I laughed. It was so cheesy.

 

-Ash, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep a serious face.

-You’ll need to do it, Seung Hoon.

-Ne, Ne.

 

I cracked a smiled again.

 

We finally arrived. The crew was already there, setting up the cameras and everything. I greeted everybody, thanking them of letting me my chance.

 

-Where should I go while I wait for her?

 

The PD came to me and explain the first scene. She was supposed to appear from my left. So I had to look at the river, silently.

 

-You don’t think it will be too boring?

 

He smiled at me.

 

-I know what I’m doing, just believe in me.

-Ne. Sorry sunbaenim.

 

So i looked at the scene for few minutes. After 20 minutes, i just sat on the beach. It was a cold day. One of the first cold day at the end of the summer. In few weeks only, I will not be able to go outside without a jacket.

 

I heard the crew speaking and moving behind me. I thought she was about to come.

 

There was still a lot of people on the beach but the crew kept a private zone for the filming. Sometimes, one person or two walked between the cameras and myself. Every time I thought it was her.

 

A young and cute woman walk near of us. My heart started racing. She was cute. Oh my.

… But she walked past us. It wasn’t her. I sighed.

 

Another girl passed few minutes after. Still not her. I growled.

 

-Guys, do you have a hot pad or something? I’m starting to get cold.

The crew didn’t answered. I turned around, wondering what was happening.

 

A young man came next to me. He was a foreigner, it was obvious. How did he get to work with the crew? Does he even speak Korean? He smiled at me, with pinkish cheeks.

 

He gave me two hot pads.

 

He was smallish - he seems like a lot shorter than me. And he was girly too. Big eyelash, pink mouth. He even smelled like a girl. He felt fragile. Soft.

 

-Gomapseumnida.

 

I took the hot pads, shivering.

 

-It’s so cold, right? I wonder when she’ll appear.

 

He looked at me, still smiling. I was wondering why he was still there. I mean, i thanked him. He gave me the hot pads. What else? He also didn't say a word since the beginning. Maybe he was trully a foreigner and didn't speak Korean? Afterall, it’s a foreigner special. It could be possible that they hired few strangers for the filming crew too.

 

So I just spoke English instead.

 

-Thanks. For the hot pads.

 

I smiled at him. He smiled back. There. He understood.

 

-My name is Jo. Nice to meet you.

 

He wanted to shake hands. I laughed. What a strange character.

 

-Nice to meet you, Jo. I’m Seung Hoon. Are you new with the crew?

-Yes. I just flew from the United States.

-Oh, really? You came from the USA just for this show?

-Yes. I.. Yeah.

 

He scratched his neck. As if he didn’t know what else to say.

I noticed his blue eyes were marvellous. What would I give to have those eyes. And his short hair seemed so soft. I wanted to touch them. I smiled.

 

-So…

 

I looked around. The crew was filming my new acquaintance and myself. I guess they were trying the cameras while waiting for the girl.

 

-So, do you know when she’ll be here? It’s been around 30 minutes that I wait. I mean I don’t really mind waiting. It’s just that I’m wondering.

 

He looked at me strangely. He looked at the PD and myself.

 

-You.. You don’t know?

-Hm? What? Don’t tell me it was cancelled. Ashhh.. I’m so unlucky.

-No no… It’s just that... it’s me.

 

I looked at him seriously. Then I looked at the PD.

 

-What?

-I’m… I’m your date for the special.

-Wh-What? Wait.

 

I quickly jumped for my place and walk to the PD.

 

He seems annoyed.

 

-Sunbaenim. Is it true? Did you matched me with a guy?

-Ash, Why did you came back? The picture was perfect. Ne. It’s true. You are paired with Jo.

-But.. I’m not gay, sunbaenim.

 

He looked at me, seriously. He sighed.

 

He got up and walked with me few meters away from the crew. He spoked to me, silently.

 

-I know it’s a shock, arasso? I talked about this with your boss. He’s okay with it.

-But I’m not-

-He signed for it, arasso? You just need to act. You know you don’t need to kiss anybody on this show. It’s for general public. Just see it as a date with a friend if you have any problem.

-Ne… but… Wouldn’t it be bad for my image?

 

He sighed.

 

-Are you that much closed minded?

-Ani.. Ani… I’m just… surprised… I guess.

-Fine, then come back. We need to do the shot again. You destroyed it when you came to me.

-Ne…

 

Oh my god. YG signed for this? WHY? Why in heaven did he thought it was a good idea? I trully believed anybody can love anybody - whatever was the . It’s just that I’m pretty positive that I never liked any man in my life. I won’t be able to act this. I sighed.

 

I sat back on the beach. We did the same shot. But I wasn’t shocked when I saw him. I mean, I expected him now. Jo. the feminine dude who was my date. Oh that was weird.

 

-I.. eh… I have a gift for you.

 

His voice was so soft. He felt like a child. Like someone you would like to take care of.

 

-Hm?

-I heard about it before I came here… Wait it’s in my bag.

 

He looked around in his bad for few second, then took a red box with a white bow.

He gave it to me, awkwardly.

 

-Thanks. You shouldn’t have.

-Open it! I hope you will like it.

 

I looked at him one second. He seemed shy. I smiled.

I opened the box. I was a small lion, with a cap on it. I took it. It was so cute.

 

-Omo… Thanks so cute. Thank you, Jo.

 

He smiled at me. His cheeks were pink. As much as his lips.

 

-I… I heard people call you hip hop baby lion so… Yeah. That’s it.

 

We talked a little but after 10 minutes or so, the PD told us they would go to the second set.

 

I felt unsure about Jo. I didn’t know what I was supposed to tell him. I mean - he was obviously into man if he was here. But I’m not. I don’t know how I can do this.

 

-So Hm…

 

Jo tried to talked to me, while we walked to our respective van. I apologised, telling him that I must do a phone call.

 

My hands were shaking a little. I called Mino. I don’t know what I would tell him - but I needed to tell someone.

 

It rang one. Twice.

 

I jumped inside my van. My manager wasn’t there yet.

 

-Ne?

 

Mino’s voice seemed tired.

 

-Were you sleeping?

-Ani, I just didn’t spoke with anybody yet today. It’s so early, hyung.

-Ash.. It’s not early. It’s like 10AM.

-You know I usually wake up around noon.