She walked along next to her friends, feeling like a fifth wheel as she always did when she hung out with them. Typically, it was like that, she’d hang out with the two of them and they’d always invite them, those two guys who were friendly enough, but mostly with Lynette and Joyce. Oh, she spoke to them and they talked to her, but they were Lynette’s and Joyce’s friends really, she didn’t pay them much attention.

She’d met them a while ago, Chris and Jonghyun, but she couldn’t figure out why Joyce and Lynette always asked her along and she couldn’t figure out why she always agreed to go either. It was better than being alone and lonely, which she was a lot, maybe they felt sorry for her. It didn’t matter really, she just went along with them to give herself something to do, they were fun to hang out with and the guys were very nice at least.

“So how bout a movie night? We’ll watch something on Netflix and get some snacks and pizza and just hangout,” Joyce smiled, looking at everyone.

There were murmurs of agreement before they loaded into Lynette’s car. Neither Lynette or Joyce asked her, probably because they knew what she’d say, she’d make some excuse to go home, which is exactly what she was planning. She knew what would probably happen, they’d start making out and she’d be sitting there watching. Normally she’d find some way out when it was suggested to go to the apartment her two friends shared, she wasn’t so lucky this time.

After a quick run to the grocery store and then to each of the guys apartments to pick up a few things, they headed back to Joyce and Lynette’s apartment. Making their way in, they set the bags on the table before the four headed into the kitchen, laughing and flirting with each other, leaving her by herself in the living room. Shaking her head, she headed over to the window, looking out.

She figured she could fake being sick, but she couldn’t do it right away, it’d look suspicious for sure. Maybe after the pizza she could say it wasn’t setting right, she’d call for a taxi and then get the hell out of there. Deciding that was the plan, she turned from the window and her gaze caught on the one guy Jonghyun, he was looking right at her, almost knowingly. Suddenly he smiled, chuckling, he shook his head before turning to Joyce to point something out to her.

What was that? What the hell was that?

It was like he knew, knew what she was planning, but that was impossible. Why was he even looking at her in the first place? She didn’t think anyone had noticed she wasn’t there in the kitchen with them, usually no one realized until later and it was unintentional. Slowly she made her way over to the couch and sat. She chanced a glance into the kitchen to see them all talking to each other animatedly and found she in some weird way, wanted to be in there with them, but couldn’t bring herself to move from her spot. She really didn’t belong there with them, not really. She felt like she was trying to be something she wasn’t, but that was always the situation with her, even with her ex who’d just broken up with her a few weeks ago, via text message no less.

She’d tried, tried hard to be the girl he’d wanted her to be, but she’d failed miserably apparently since he decided he wanted to go out and date other girls, at least that’s what he told her. She was a great girl, but he wanted to grow as a person and she shouldn’t have to change to make him happy, it just meant she wasn’t the one for him he’d told her, over text. That hurt, it hurt a lot, she appreciated his honesty, but it still hurt. It hurt even more a few days later when a box arrived in the mail with all the stuff she’d left at his apartment as well as gifts she’d given him over the course of their four year relationship with a letter telling her to throw out anything of his or keep it, he didn’t care but that he didn’t want it back. She shook her head in disappointment, why string her along for so long if he was just going to get rid of her? Four years was a long time, she thought…

Sighing, she looked back up and once again he was looking at her, almost beseechingly. She looked around, wondering if Joyce or Lynette had come in and sat next to her without knowing, but there was no one there other than her. Why was he staring at her again?

Looking back over, she saw that he was now gathering some things up in his arms, heading over towards the coffee table in front of her, Lynette followed, then came Chris.

“You ok?” Joyce asked, as she set a couple of bowls down, giving her a look.

She nodded weakly, giving her a small smile.

Joyce shrugged and turned, heading back to the kitchen. She watched her go, feeling decidedly invisible for some reason, she looked back down at the various bowls, she really needed to go home, she couldn’t stay any longer, it felt as if she wasn’t there anyway.

“I called for pizza, it should be here soon, have a seat everyone,” Lynette said, sitting on one of the arm chairs and Chris squeezed in next to her, swinging his arm around her shoulders.

It started, she watched uncomfortably while Joyce sat on the couch and she slid down to the floor suddenly, moving away a bit, making sure to give them space.

“C’mon Jonghyun, have a seat,” Joyce smiled, patting the spot next to her.

She could feel him coming over and she turned a bit so she couldn’t see. The air around her shifted a little and she caught the faint scent of something citrusy, almost lemony.

“Why are you sitting there?” Came Joyce’s voice.

She turned her head to see Jonghyun sitting not on the couch, but in front of it on the floor, right by the coffee table.

“I want to be close to the food,” he chuckled, looking away from Joyce and suddenly looked right over at her, giving her a wink.

She blinked in shock and glanced up at Joyce who was looking at her, equally shocked. They never flirted with her, ever. Joyce raised an eyebrow and slowly leaned forward, whispering in his ear, but loud enough for her to hear.

“I’ll make it worth your while.”

She couldn’t help but look as Jonghyun turned his head to look at her, Joyce caught her eye and gave her a smug look.

“Is that so?” He said quietly.

Joyce grinned, nodding.

“Ok, I’ll come up…if you sit on the couch too,” He said suddenly, looking over at her.

She blinked, “H-huh?”

He looked back over at Joyce, “I appreciate the offer, but I’m ok with being down here, besides, being on the floor isn’t so bad right?” He said, looking back over at her again, smiling.

Joyce flopped back in the couch with a huff, glaring at her. She wasn’t sure what’d just happened, but it seemed like Jonghyun sitting on the floor had nothing to do with being close to the food.

~~~

After they ate, they all cleaned up and resumed the movie they were watching. Lynette and Chris were busy making out and Joyce was busy trying to get Jonghyun to finally get onto the couch, she figured this was the best time as any to leave. She stood, stretching a bit, putting a hand to her stomach.

“I think I’m gonna leave, that pizza isn’t sitting well with me,” she said.

Joyce gave her a look, “Sure whatever, you’ll have to call for a taxi though, I don’t feel like going back out.”

She nodded, “Yeah I was planning on it.”

“You shouldn’t go out this late,” Jonghyun said suddenly.

She looked down at him, “What?”

“It’s late, why not just stay here? You don’t mind do you Joyce?” Jonghyun said, looking up at her.

“O-Oh, uhh…”

“No, it’s ok, it’s fine. It’s not that late, I’ll be ok.”

“See, she’s fine Jonghyun, don’t worry about her,” Joyce smiled.

Jonghyun tilted his head to the side, “Aren’t you worried about your friend?”

“Sure I am, but she said she’s fine and she should know better than anyone else. If she wants to leave, let her go,” Joyce said loudly.

Chris and Lynette looked over at Joyce suddenly and then at Jonghyun who looked irritated.

“It’s no big deal, I’ll just get my stuff and leave,” she said quickly, not wanting to cause more of a scene.

She hurried over, grabbing her shoes when another hand shot out, pulling her shoes out of her hand, she looked up into beautiful brown eyes.

“Ani, stay, I don’t want you going out if you’re sick. It’s too late, sleep here and I will go with you tomorrow to make sure you get home safely,” Jonghyun said gently.

“Why are you doing this? Let her go, don’t you get that I want us to be alone, she doesn’t need to be here anymore,” Joyce said, standing up, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yah!” Jonghyun said suddenly, harshly.

Joyce stared at him for a moment, “Fine, do whatever, stay, I don’t care. I’m going to bed!” She spat, before turning and pounding down the hall to her room, slamming the door.

There was silence for about five seconds before Chris and Lynette excused themselves to the other room. She bit her lip, fighting back tears, this was not how she wanted things to go, she should’ve just stayed.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

Jonghyun swung his head around to look at her, “Why? You did nothing wrong. I’m sorry Joyce was so mean, this is a side of her I’ve never seen before and I don’t care to again. It’s too late to leave or else I would’ve gone with you. Come, let’s get you settled down so you can get some rest.”

He was being so sweet, she felt bad for lying, though now, she really didn’t feel good and it had nothing to do with the pizza.

They got the couch set up and Jonghyun made a makeshift bed on the floor, declining adamantly when she tried to have him stay on the couch instead.

“Ani, we sleep on the floor in my home all the time, I do not mind.”

Still she felt bad, but he wouldn’t hear otherwise. She settled down and a few short minutes later, she was asleep.

~~~

She tossed and turned, couldn’t get comfortable. It was common, whenever she was stressed, she couldn’t sleep, it would last days, sometimes weeks. It’d been awhile since her last bout with it, but since the breakup, she could tell it was coming, but why now of all times? She rubbed at her eyes, she was exhausted, but she couldn’t seem to relax enough to sleep and stay asleep. Slowly she sat up, it was pitch black and silent in the apartment. She couldn’t turn the tv on, what could she do?

Sighing, she stood and managed to find her way to the bathroom. Once finished, she made her way out, starting towards the couch again, when she noticed a light on in the spare bedroom. Normally when she would stay over, that’s where she’d go, now she wondered why she didn’t mention it to Jonghyun earlier, he could’ve slept there.

Carefully she made her way closer, was Lynette in there with Chris? She hoped she wouldn’t see something that would embarrass them both. She couldn’t help but think she should turn around, but she couldn’t seem to stop herself as she went closer and closer. The door was cracked so a small sliver of light came through. Reaching out, she gently placed her hand on the knob and pushed the door open just a bit, her eyes widening.

There on the floor was Jonghyun.

He appeared to be working on something on his laptop, he had pencil between his lips and some papers scattered all around him on the floor and in his ears, earbuds which were attached to his phone, his head bobbing along to whatever he was listening to. He stopped after a few minutes and wrote something on a sheet of paper right next to him before starting to fiddle with something on the laptop. Suddenly he started to hum, it was a beautiful simple melody and she found herself closing her eyes, listening intently.

Slowly she opened her eyes to find him staring at her and she straightened up, her heart pounding at being caught eavesdropping.

“S-Sorry, I saw the light on, I thought you were asleep.”

He smiled, pulling the ear buds out of his ears, he patted the spot next to him.

She shook her head, “N-no, that’s ok, I don’t want to disturb you. I’m gonna go back to sleep.”

Jonghyun tilted his head to the side, studying her a moment before patting the spot next to him again. She started to refuse again, when this time, he motioned with his head for her to come over and then patted the spot once more. She hesitated a moment longer before slowly making her way in, closing the door after her. Carefully she made her way over, watching as he moved the papers out of the way, clearing the spot more for her before reaching out and tugging at her hand, pulling her down to sit next to him and she was immediately surrounded by the scent of citrus again.

“I didn’t mean to bother you,” she said quietly.

“You’re not,” he said, watching her.

“I tend to be in the way sometimes, people always…”

“You’re not in the way, if you were, I wouldn’t have invited you in,” he stated, interrupting her statement. “You’re fine. I’m glad you’re here actually, I was lonely,” he smiled.

She gave him a small smile.

“I won’t ask if you’re feeling better cause I’m sure you weren’t really sick in the first place,” Jonghyun grinned.

Her eyes widened, “What?”

“I saw you from the kitchen, you were plotting some way to leave right?”

“How-how did you know?”

He chuckled, “I could just tell, I see that look of desperation in Taemin’s eyes a lot during interviews and such.”

Who was Taemin?

“But there must be something else going on if you’re here with me now, couldn’t sleep I’m guessing.”

“I was going to the bathroom…”

He gave her a look and she sighed.

“No, I couldn’t sleep, have a lot on my mind I guess. When that happens I get a bad case of insomnia.”

“Ahh yes, insomnia, my old friend,” Jonghyun smiled sympathetically.

‘You’ve had it before too I take it.”

“Constantly, I do my radio show when I’m home and when I get back I’m wound up so it takes me awhile to relax and fall asleep, when I actually can. Most of the time I’m running on very little to no sleep.”

She frowned, “That’s not good.”

“No, but I’ve learned to deal with it. Like tonight, I got an hour, maybe two. I’ve been up for a while and I probably won’t sleep again, so I’m up now,” he smiled.

For some reason she found that incredibly sad, she wished there was something she could do to help, but how did someone help a person, a virtual stranger to fall asleep?

“What are you working on?” She asked.

“Hmm? Oh, a new song for my group.”

“A song? You write songs? Wait, a group?”

Jonghyun smiled, “Yes, I’m in a music group at home.”

“I remember Lynette mentioning something before, does this group involve the person you mentioned before? Taemin was it?”

“Yes, Taemin is a member of my group, the youngest member actually. His mind tends to wander and he gets lost in the conversation and well, that’s typical Taemin for you,” Jonghyun chuckled.

She could tell he cared a lot about the young man, “They never told me much about you, or Chris for that matter.”

He nodded, “That doesn’t surprise me. I often wonder why they do that, they invite you along and it seems very unfair, very mean. Chris and Lynette are practically a couple and I’m pretty sure Joyce likes me and yet, they force you along to basically ignore you.”

“If you know Joyce likes you, why did you do what you did tonight? She’ll be mad at you,” she sighed.

Jonghyun shrugged, “I really don’t care, I don’t like how she was treating you, how they always treat you, both of them. I wasn’t kidding when I said it was a side of her I don’t care to see again, it shows a lot about the kind of person she is if she wouldn’t help or take care of a friend who was sick. How could I want to be around that kind of person?”

“She’s a good person most of the time, friendly, pretty…”

“That may be so, but looks only take you so far. She’s pretty on the outside, but ugly on the inside, which for me, is ten times worse,” he explained, jotting something down on the paper next to him.

She stared at him in awe, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, he wasn’t like most guys.

“She doesn’t have to be that way, look at you for example. You’re smart, pretty on the inside as well as the outside, you seem like you’re a great friend, though I don’t have the privilege to know first hand, but I have a good idea. It’s a choice how you act and treat people, a conscious choice. I’d rather be around you than her any day,” Jonghyun said, typing away on his laptop.

She stilled, “Wait, what? Pretty? Me?”

Jonghyun turned his head to look at her, “Why are you so surprised? Of course, you’re pretty, I can say you seem like the whole package,” he chuckled.

No one had ever called her pretty, cute maybe by her ex, but not pretty.

“Hey, want to help me out here for a minute?” He asked suddenly.

“Help? Uhh sure, I don’t know much about music. They tried to have us do sight reading in music class, I was awful at it.”

He smiled, “That’s ok, I just want your opinion on something, care to listen to this for me?”

She nodded, “Sure.”

“Great, here, tell me what you think honestly,” he announced before pressing a button, a melody starting to play.

“Oh, it’s what you were humming when I first saw you.”

Jonghyun grinned, “Yes, this is it!”

She smiled “I like it, very simple, pretty.”

“Pretty, like you,” he said softly, smiling.

She felt herself blushing, “Thanks but nah…”

He chuckled and then started singing to the music, it was a language she’d never heard before but it was beautiful and his voice was amazing, it gave her the chills as she shivered against him. Just then she felt something warm wrap around her to find Jonghyun wrapping a blanket she hadn’t noticed he’d had around him the whole time, around her now as well. His arm came around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“Ahh mianhae, sorry I didn’t do this sooner, aish, you’re freezing! We got to talking and I completely forgot, it is chilly. Come closer, I don’t bite I promise, well at least not right away,” he grinned.

She scooted closer and the heat from his body seeped into her cold one, his scent swirling around her like a cloud. She felt warm and somehow secure with this man she barely knew. He removed his arm and she immediately felt the loss.

“Much better, you’re warming me up too,” he smiled.

She continued to watch him work silently, not much else was said and it was ok, the silence was companionable and comfortable. He was methodical and she found a strange sense of relaxation in it. He continued to write his music, humming softly as if he was singing her to sleep. Soon she found her eyelids growing heavy, her head kept falling onto his shoulder, but she didn’t want to sleep, she wanted to stay with him longer, be with him longer.

“Ahh jagi, you’re getting sleepy I see.”

His voice sounded a million miles away, but she could barely keep her eyes open.

“Go on and sleep,” he said softly.

She was barely conscious of her body being pushed down, something soft placed under her head before she quickly drifted off and this time, she stayed asleep.

~~~

She moved in closer to the warmth in front of her, burying her face into the darkness of the blanket, trying to block out the sunlight from the window. softly, she slowly opened her eyes to see Jonghyun in front of her, his eyes closed in sleep, she could feel his arm around her waist, his head on the same pillow as hers, he looked so peaceful, she was happy to see he was finally sleeping.

Sleeping…with her.

Quickly she sat up, she looked at the clock on the wall, it was nine in the morning, they’d slept there the whole night! She looked around, all his notes were still scattered around, his laptop was open, the screen still brightly lit since he had it plugged in, meaning he’d fallen asleep at some point, not intentionally obviously…but if that were the case, how had he fallen asleep under the blanket with her?

Shaking her head, she reached out, shaking him gently. He had to wake up, if Lynette or especially Joyce came in and saw them, she’d be pissed!

“Jonghyun…Jonghyun wake up, please wake up!”

He moaned softly, his eyes slowly opened and met hers, he gave her a sleepy smile.

“Good morning,” he whispered.

She felt something inside her melt a bit, but there was no time for that right now.

“Please wake up, if Joyce comes in she’ll be upset.”

He groaned again, rubbing at his eyes, slowly sitting up, “It doesn’t matter, I don’t care.”

Slowly he sat up and stretched and she slid out from under the blanket quickly, quickly trying to fix her hair so it didn’t look like she’d spent the night with Joyce’s potential boyfriend

Just then there was a knock at the door a second before it opened, she froze.

“Jonghyun? Are you in... there you are! I went out and saw the blankets on the…what are you doing in here?” Joyce said coolly, looking at her.

She opened to respond when Jonghyun answered for her.

“We couldn’t sleep, so we were talking, we must’ve fallen asleep,” he explained, running his fingers through his thick hair, stifling a yawn.

“You slept together?” She practically screamed.

“Well we’re together and we slept and for crying out loud Joyce do you have to yell? It’s nine in the morning,” Jonghyun sighed, actually yawning this time.

She rolled her eyes, “Whatever, hurry get dressed, I’m gonna make us some breakfast. I thought you were sick, shouldn’t you call that taxi be leaving now?” Joyce said, giving her a pointed look.

“Joyce...” Jonghyun started.

“Oh yeah, right, I’m going,” she mumbled quickly, he didn’t need to be involved in this any longer.

She could feel Jonghyun’s eyes on her as she bolted out the room. Quickly she called for the taxi before changing clothes, gathering up her purse, putting her shoes on and starting for the door.

“Wait, I’m making breakfast!” Joyce said suddenly.

She turned to see Jonghyun coming up behind her, getting his stuff packed away and making his way towards her.

“I’m not hungry and I want to make sure she gets home safely since she was feeling bad last night,” he explained, putting his shoes on. “Wait for me, I’ll come with you,” he said, looking at her.

“What about me Jonghyun?” Joyce said, coming up close to him. “You walk out that door with her, you can forget ever coming back, that goes for you too,” she said coldly, looking at her.

She looked away, reaching out for the doorknob.

Jonghyun shrugged, “That’s ok, I’m not missing much anyway,” he chuckled.

Joyce gasped and Jonghyun made his way around to the door, opening it and motioning for her to go out. Once outside he reached out, taking her hand, looking into her stunned eyes

“I’m hungry, how bout going out for some breakfast?” He asked.

“I-I thought you weren’t hungry,” she stuttered.

“I’m starving actually, but I definitely didn’t want to eat with her,” he grinned.

“You didn’t have to do this you know, she wanted to date you,” she sighed.

He nodded, “I know, but I think there’s someone better suited to be my girlfriend, just gotta convince her of that,” he winked, tugging on her hand and leading her over to the taxi that had just pulled into the parking lot.

“Really?”

“Mmm hmm, maybe you could help me with that,” he said, opening the door for her.

She chuckled, “Maybe I can,” she said before sliding into the taxi.

Jonghyun followed and they took off.