Everyone was dancing, crazily, wildly to the loud but catchy beat that moved every limbs and joints. But there was only one person who seemed couldn’t move his body at all, like something was holding him from becoming one with the music. Was it because it was too loud? Almost tearing his ear apart or was it because of the smell of alcohol or the sweet smell of smoke coming from people’s smoking shisha nearby?

Or was it because of the aching in his heart now, seeing one couple dancing? Were they dating? One boy and one girl dancing together, must be dating right? Why did it give a tingling pain to Jimin’s heart when all he could have done was congratulating his best friend for finding the love of his life. Right, Jimin had to be happy for his best friend. He needed to be happy for himself too but seeing him happy made Jimin happy, so yeah, Jimin was happy.

The cold night air shivered Jimin who just worn a thin shirt paired with not so thick jacket, but it was okay since he hugged himself, warming his body with his own body temperature. Pitiful, was what people would say if they saw how small Jimin was with knee closed to his chest, hugging it till his knuckles turned white and face buried in between.

He closed his eyes, not trying to sleep but Jimin was really tired, no energy at all. “Jimin! What are you doing here?” Here came the voice that Jimin liked the most, even though it meant to scold him butJimin still found it so peaceful and home, lying on the bed, wrapped in warm and cozy blanket waiting for his love because he promised him a sweet and lovely hot chocolate.

“’Jimin, aren’t you cold?” Now, it was nothing except for concern and comfort.

“Party is not over yet. Why are you here alone?” Jimin liked that sound too much that it lullabied him to a dreamland.

“Hyung—“

“Jungkook-ah—“ and this time Jimin lifted his head, to look at the boy that he loved so much properly, giving him his usual angelic smile that could melt every people but not enough to win one boy’s heart, unfortunately.

“What---“

“Can I tell—“ Jimin cut Jungkook again.

“Jimin, the hell. Don’t---“ Jungkook cut him too because two could play this cutting game. There was no benefit at all but Jungkook was starting to get annoyed and irritated.

And they stayed silent since Jungkook just stopped there, having no intention to continue because Jimin’s smile was still there, big and cute that Jungkook took, really a good time to appreciate it, replying with the same kind of smile back to Jimin.

“I—“ Jimin turned to look at his front.

“I like you so much, Jungkook-ah more than a friend could. We’ve known each other for 5 years and I’ve been hiding my feeling to you for that 5 years too. Seeing from afar how happy you were with your relationship and standing next to you whenever you had heartbroken, blaming myself for wishing you to break up with your partner but when it became true, I couldn’t be happy because you’re not happy.”

Well Jimin blamed for the alcohol that he consumed earlier for making him to confess and telling  the truth to Jungkook. One glass of alcohol would do nothing to your mind but Jimin refused to admit it because to him, alcohol was for people to be something else even just from one small glass of it. And now Jimin was being something else, too bold and brave to reveal everything in his heart.

“But now, with you in front of me, I want to make a wish and only you can fulfil it for me.” His tone was flat and emotionless, maybe Jimin was starting to get tired of everything that related to his heart.

Still with no emotion voice, he continued. “Jungkook, always be happy with whoever you choose to spend your forever with because starting from now on, I can’t happy for you anymore.”

“W-why?”

“I….I decided to stop loving you.”

“H-hyung---“

“’Jimin! Jungkook!” Taehyung shouted their name, startled both of them.

Then, Jimin stood up, brushing the sand and dust away from his shirt and pant before jogging to where Taehyung had stood. Apparently, it’s time to go and Jimin felt so relieved, no more nerve wrecking moment or drama that involved tear or  more ugly one-sided confession.

But Jimin did say his last word to Jungkok. “I know you don’t love me like that, so it’s okay. I’m okay with it. Let’s continue to be friend.” He said that leaving Jungkook alone, giving him no time to reply.

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“What are you two talking about last night?” Taehyung had asked him the next morning during breakfast while trying to sober his headache, well the effect after a good party, a hangover but Jimin had nothing like that at all since one glass of alcohol was not enough to give a bad hangover.

“I confessed to Jungkook.”

Silence, no reply from Taehyung and Jimin was eating his cereal calmly on Taehyung’s bed, like confessing his love to Jungkook was something that his everyday routine but of course it’s not. It’s just that Jimin had promised himself to throw that falling away before he closed his eyes last night and pretending that it was nothing when he opened his eyes again.

“Wait? What? Come again?”

“I said I confessed to Jungkook.” Jimin repeated again.

“And?”

“I rejected myself.”

“What do you mean by that?” the look on Taehyung’s face was enough to indicate that he was confused.

Taehyung was Jimin’s best friend too, the first before Jungkook, well that what Taehyung had quoted once and it was true because Taehyung was the one who knew about Jimin’s crush to Jungkook. Of course it started with a simple crush but after 5 years of longing for Jungkook, Taehyung ended it with a complicated crush that had Jimin to laugh hysterically at that.

There was time that Jimin wished to just fall in love with Taehyung instead because who wouldn’t. Taehyung is cute, fun, kind and caring but only Jungkook could flutter his heart, could do a lot of thing to his heart and only Jungkook who had introduced what love was to Jimin.

“I told Jungkook that I like him but I wanted to end it. Put a stop to it.”

“Are you crazy? Did you knock your head onto something?” Taehyung said while inspecting for any bruise or swollen part on Jimin’s head when someone knocked on the door.

“We’re still not finish, Park Jimin.”

Taehyung walked to the door, lazily, expecting to see one of the hyungs, maybe Jin or Namjoon to scold them for returning home very late last night but when it was Jungkook who was at the door, Taehyung did nothing except for thanking god to send Jungkook at the right time.

“Hey, Hyung, is Jimin---“

“Yes, yes, he’s here. Oh please Jungkook-ah, please tell me that you come here to solve thing out.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Okay, then you can come in.”

Apparently, Jimin could hear everything clearly but remained calm, eating his cereal while savoring its sweet taste. He could see Jungkook was approaching him from the corner of his eyes but he was too lazy to turn his head only to face him when he felt Jungkook’s presence next to him.

“Oh, hi Jungkook, what some?” Jimin lifted the bowl of cereal to Jungkook but he got a shake in return

“Hyung…is it true?” Jimin didn’t look at him, busy with eating. But how he wished to just mix his cereal with alcohol since only alcohol could help Jimin to hold his tears from nearing his eyes because now he could feel tears were starting to tickle his eyes, forming a pool that would leak any moment.

“What have I told you last night? I must be rambling something incoherent to you. I’m sorry. You know what alcohol could do to our brain and all. Just-just forget about it.”

“Taehyung who stood at the door frame just rolled his eyes at that excuse because come on Jimin, you’re the only person who was not having a hangover here but Taehyung chose to stay silent, to see how well Jimin would handle this kind of problem. Problem? Of course it was problematic. Tiptoeing in a game called lie, refusing to for once be true because truth hurt more than a lie could be. Say who? It’s not a proven fact at all but from people experience, it was true indeed. But how long? How long would Jimin live in a lie?

“Hyung, please. I know you remember everything.”

“So what if I remember about it? It won’t change anything.”

Jungkook closed his eyes for a second, collecting every calmness that he needed since Jimin had challenged his patience. The way Jimin said it in the calmest and no emotion got Jungkook to ball his own fist, frustrated to the max that he could flip every single thing in the room.

“You know that I like you too for the past years.” Jungkook had raised his voice a bit while Taehyung fix his position because that information confused him since everyone could see Jimin big crush on Jungkook but Jungkook to Jimin was a new thing.

“But you convinced yourself that my feeling was nothing that it could disappear anytime. But you’re wrong because it never disappeared. In this 5 years, I have only been in 2 relationships. Hoping that maybe I could forget the feeling I have for you but it got deeper every single day.”

Jimin listened to it carefully, processing the word one by one. When his brain fully processed the word and sent it to his heart and that was the time when tears started to leak down like a heavy rain, forming a messy line of tears on his cheek.

 Only that time Jimin realized that he was the real reason behind this mess. Always reminding Jungkook that their relationship could not pass the line, a safe line that separate friend to lover. Always having a debate with Jungkook in which what kind of girl or boy that suitable for Jungkook to date. And shut every possible time for them to discuss what kind of relationship they were or maybe that they both were compatible with each other because Jimin was afraid.

“Of what?”

“What if one day you come to realize that whatever feeling you have for me is wrong and-and---“ Jimin couldn’t finish it because the lump and the sob in his throat were making it hard to form a word.

“and you will leave me but—“ He tried again but still, couldn’t finish it.

Seeing how broken Jimin was, Jungkook hugged him, ensuring Jimin that such thing won’t happen because it was not wrong to start with. After some seconds of hugging Jimin’s trembling body, Jungkook released him to cup his face so that Jimin could see the love that Jungkook had for him in his eyes and it seemed that Jimin got it because he was looking at Jungkook with that same amount of love.

“I love you, Hyung.” Jungkook kissed Jimin’s forehead before hugging Jimin again.

They both stayed like that for several minutes before Taehyung broke the silence with something like “You may kiss now and be happy forever.” Resulting Jimin and Jungkook to blush.

“What are you waiting for? Just kiss.”

“Then what are you still doing here, hyung?” not bothering to answer back, Taehyung left them two closing the door.

Jungkook wiped Jimin’s tear away softly and carefully before leaning down to kiss him full on the lip, giving all of his love to Jimin and received back when Jimin kissed him too. But Jimin managed to utter a soft “I love you too” before meeting with Jungkook’s lip.