They always did this. One word after another. One petty remark responding to a stupid accusation. Stupid little fights that would always resolve themselves a couple hours later with the taller one hugging the other girl, whispering an apology, leaving kisses on her forehead, temple, slowly going down to the puffy and blushing cheeks, the shorter leader, embarrassed, answering with a low "me too". Both falling asleep in each others arms at the end of the day, not even remembering who started the fight or what it was about. It didn't matter as long as they would fall alseep together, hearing the other breathing, feeling the other's heartbeat, in sync with their own.

This fight, though, did not feel like their usual ones. It felt heavier, more important, more dangerous. It started with Moonbyul overworking herself writing lyrics and trying to compose for their next comeback. And Yongsun also being stressed and nervous and insecure as the leader and honestly just feeling rather lonely. It started as usual with small reproches of not caring anymore, responding with a sigh and the excuse of just being tired. And Byul truly  was. So very tired of everyting. Tired with the preparation for their comeback. Tired of all the events in between all the practices that already lasted until so late at night, or early in the morning depending on how you saw it. Tired of all the sneaking around she and Yongsun had to do because the only people that knew, that could know, about them were the other two members and the very accepting staff of RBW.

Buyl was tired of everything.

With the exception of Kim Yongsun. She could never get tired of her.

And she so desperatly wanted to tell that to her girlfriend, because she could feel that Solar was starting to feel anxious about them. But at this moment, she couldn't say anything sweet to the other girl. Her tiredness made her even more irritable as Yongsun was getting angrier at her. For something so small that the rapper couldn't even understand. So she talked back, and fueled the fire. She didn't want to, there was this small part of her brain that kept telling her to stop, to apologize, to hold her, to kiss her.

But the other, bigger, part of her brain was just annoyed. Why did she always had to be the one to take the first step ? To always be the "bigger person" ? She knew (she hoped) that Yongsun really loved her, just as much as her. And so Byuly never asked nor needed the other to show it in anyway because she knew her girlfriend was kind of emotionally awkward and shy, and she could feel it better through her actions. But right now, Buyl really needed to feel appreciated, to feel understood, loved. Not just through actions, but words too. She was way too exhausted to try and see where Yongsun was coming from in this fight. She just mumbled something like "whatever" or  "I really can't do this right now" and left Solar's appartment to go to her own.
 

Neither of them had a good sleep that night. 

Yongsun hated this situation. She hated sleeping alone in her cold bed. She hated the silence in her house without the younger girl. Even more, she hated the silence between the two of them when they were in the same room. Their fight had been going on for days now. They still talked obviously, but it was all small, work related stuff. She hated not feeling Byul's arms around her waste as they waited to go up on stage. She hated not hearing Byul whispering and chuckling in her ear. She hated not feeling the loving stare of the girl, feeling like they were the only one in the room even when they weren't. Hyejin and Wheein, if they felt something was wrong, didn't say anything. Yongsun was really thankfull for that, she really didn't want to explain it to the two girls, because then it would make this fight so much more real. She felt like crying when she thought that maybe this fight might be the end of them. But she didn't know how to say that to Moonbyul. The blonde looked so tired. Sometimes so sad, other time so apathetic. Solar hated that she didn't know how to just go up and hug her girlfriend. She was always relaying on Byul for those stuff, for showing affection. Maybe, she thought, that was what would end them. She felt even worse knowing that it would be her fault. 

Now they were all in their usual practice room, finishing up the new dance for their next comeback that was supposed to be in less than a month. They were exhausted after dancing for almost 4 hours non-stop. It was now almost 1 AM. The hard life of idols. All the members had the routine down perfectly, but Solar was having some difficulty with one of the moves. 

"Unnie!  Seriously !" Wheein whinned, again "It's no big deal, you'll get it tomorrow. Let's just go home, I'm so hungry"
"Yeah, come one unnie" Hwasa backed up her bestfriend "It's so late, I'm so tired, let's just go. We still have time to learn the dance"
Yongsun sighed, looking at the two whinning kids sitting on the hardwood flood in front of her. "I really want to get it before going home though."
"You already do" Wheein said "just some small details that you need to adjust. Tomorrow. Pleaase unniie" She went full aegyo with that last part, and it almost made Yongsun smile and agree to go as she saw her two maknae like that. But she glanced at the other person in the room, she was as tired as the other girls, but still had the energy to avoid Solar's eyes at all cost. This really didn't help the leader's mood. At all. 
"Why don't you guys go then ?" she suggested "I'll just go over it a few more times."
"Are you sure unnie ?" Hwasa frowned "You must be tired too.."
"I'm sure" Solar smiled "Now go before you two starve to death here."

She didn't have to say it thrice. The two young girls packed up their things with an impressive speed for someone who looked half dead a second again, hugged their leader goodbye, and skipped out of the practice room to get their manager to drive them home.

Byul, on the other hand, took her time getting her things. Yongsun didn't know if this was a good time to say something, now that they were alone. She'd even settle for some small talk instead of this horrible silence at this point. She glanced at Moonbyul to see the other girl quickly adverting her eyes. Yongsun sighed, taking this as a sign that it still wasn't the right time to talk. She really didn't know how to deal with an angry, silent Byulyi. So she just went back to practicing the dance move, stealing glances at Byulyi through the mirror. She saw her hesitating at the door, hand grabbing the door knob but standing still. She stopped dancing when she saw Byul turn around to face her, eyes looking straight at the floor. Byul's voice was so low the Yongsun almost didn't catch what she said. Almost.
"Don't stay here too late." The blonde then quickly exited the room. Leaving Solar alone, soft music playing in the backround, a stupidly bright smile on her lips. It was such a small thing to say, almost nothing really, but it was the best thing she heard leaving the rapper's mouth in days. At least she still cares, she thought as she went back to dancing. 

When Solar stopped, finally satisfied with the move, she noticed that it was already 2:50 AM. , I'm gonna have to walk home now. And right she was. She changed out of her training outfits and walked out of the almost empty company, except for a few janitor and dedicated composers, the managers long gone because they had to get some rest too. As she passed the doors leading her outside, the cold air slapped her right accross the face. She was not dressed for this kind of weather. She shivered and groaned, putting her arms aroung her chest to keep herself warm. She was about to walk away towards their dorms when she saw a thin familiar figure leaning on a lamp post right in front of her. She took a few carefull steps towards the girl. 

"Byul...?" She asked, uncertain. The blonde lifted her head from her phone, looking now straight into Yongsun's eyes. The latter could see the rapper's nose and cheeks all red from the cold. "My god, how long have you been standing there ?" The leader said, worried, walking towards her girlfriend with more assurance this time. Byul shyly looked away as Yongsun's hands found their way to her cheeks, rubbing them gently. 
"Not that long" she said her voice almost a whisper.
"What are you doing here ? Didn't you go back with the maknaes ? It's so late, you can't she be standing like that alone outside !" 
"I wasn't outside the whole time... I went to a coffee shop for a while..." Moobyul mumbled "And you're the one to talk ! Were you really just thinking about walking home alone at this hour ? Do you know how dangerous this is ?" 
Yongsun didn't know what say. For one because it's been days since they had a conversation lasting that many words. And did Moonbyul really just waited more than an hour outside in the cold just because she was worried about Yongsun ? Damn, she feeled loved right now. At this thought, she could not help a small smile creeping up on her lips. 
"What are you smiling about ? I'm being serious here" Byul interrupted her thoughts, looking a tad annoyed now. But it didn't matter to Yongsun right now, she was way too happy and relieved, and her smile only got bigger as she answered "Right, I know. You just look really cute when you're worried."
Yongsun was sure that the red she saw spread across the blonde's cheek was not just because of the cold 

"I'm..uh..not" the latter mumbled, founding the ground very interesting. If Solar didn't know how to deal with an angry Byul, boy did she love the rare sight of shy, embarrassed Byul. The rapper sighed, turning back her face to Yongsun. She underestimated how close they were actually standing. She could see every details of the girl's face. From the red of her cheeks, to the tired but loving eyes staring at her. Any anger that had built up for the past few days just vanished. How could it not when her girlfriend was smiling at her like that ? Damn she was whipped. Byul found herself smirking, her hand finding her way to the singer's face, replacing an invisible strand of her behind her ear. As usual, just an excuse to touch the girl.

 "Can't I be worried for my girlfriend ?" she said in the low voice she knew would get Solar everytime. And it really did. Yongsun knew that the blush on her face might be making her glow in the night right now so she burried her face into Moonbyul's neck, pulling her into a tight hug, inhaling her perfume. "God, I missed you so much. I've been wanting to do that for days..." she confessed "I hate when we fight." 
The butterflies in Moonbyul's stomach were going crazy, not only did Solar iniciate the contact, which was pretty unsual in itself (especially in public!), but it also made her wonder, how did she go by without her daily dose of Yongsun ? If she wasn't so distracted by the warmth of her very pretty girlfriend against her, she would be seriously impressed with the self-control she had shown the past few days. How did she go even 1 day, no, 1 hour, without being near her ? Now that she was though, Byulyi felt as if she could never be close enough. Tightening her grip around Solar's waist, she closed her eyes and sighed, like all of her tiredness finally went away. 
 

"I know, me too" she finally whispered after a few minute a comfortable silence "and I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stormed off like that, we should've talked it out, I acted like a kid, ignoring you and all..." 

Yongsun pulled back at once, enough for her to look into Byul's eyes, but still not completly breaking off the contact. "Don't" she started "Don't apologize, please. You always apologize first, no, I always make you apologize first and it's not fair. You know I'm not really good at expressing myself, my feelings, clearly, without being embarassed... But this isn't an excuse. I don't want you to not feel appreciated enough in this relationship because I always rely on you to be the affectionnate one and always make the first move... So, I'm sorry. It was my fault, and I'm sorry, and I should've tried and talked to you before." Solar released a long breath at the end of her speech, content and proud to have finally expressed herself, and relieved when all she saw in the eyes of the girl in front of her was love and understanding. Moonbyul's smile was truly blinding Yongsun at that moment. She always thought the moon shined brighter than the sun, especially on nights like this. 
 

"Thank you" Byulyi said, taking Solar's hands and bringin them up to her lips to kiss them gently, which left yet another pretty blush on the leader "It means a lot, really. But you know I understand, and I really don't mind how you are. I know your actions speak a lot louder than your words, and they're worth a lot to me. I also don't care if I have to make the first move everytime. I mean, it gets things done, you know. If I had to wait for you everytime, we would probably not be together right now" Moonbyul chuckled giving a knowing wink to Solar. The latter, although aware of the truth behind those last words, could not hold back an scandalize scoff and one of her hand flying to slap the rapper's shoulder. 
 

"I am not that bad !" she scolded "And we got together as much because of me than because of you."
 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling." Moonbyul smiled "Speaking of sleep, it's almost 3:30 AM and I'm exhausted, as you are too, I'm sure. Shall we head home ?" she took a step back and extended her hand towards Solar, who eagerly took it and walked as close as possible to the other girl without falling over. They walked hand in hand to their dorms, not bothering to speak, only appreciating a comfortable silence that had been replace by the tension of their fights until now. 

Arriving to their building, Solar was happy to see Moonbyul going inside the appartment with her, without a word, as usual. Thank God, she wouldn't have to sleep alone again tonight. or the next one, or the nigth after that hopefully. Until she screws up again. At this thought she just stopped walking in the middle of her living room, making Moonbyul also come to a stop as they were still holding hands. The latter turned around, confused at the look on her girlfriend's face.
 

"What's wrong now ?" she teased a little, walking closer to her.
 

"I just... You're really sure you're not sick me yet, right ?" Faltered " I mean anyone would be sick of giving and giving but barely recieving I know... And it might be selfish of me to say this but... You're not gonna break up with me one day waking realizing that you want someone better than me ?" She blinked rapidly as her eyes started to water a bit and she did not want to cry right now.
 

"Are you really that afraid of this happening ?" Byul questionned, clearly suprised. When Yongsun nodded timidly, she continued with an amused smile, taking her face between her hands "First of all, if one day I wake up out of nowhere and say that I want to break up with you, you can assume that it's either not me, or that I am out of my mind and you have my authorization to slap me " Solar breathed a quite laugh "Second of all, I'm pretty sure there is no-one better than you for me. I'm the one that should be scared you know! What if one day you realize that you're way out of my league and that you could have pretty much anyone else, less clingy and greasy than me ?"

Solar knew that it was meant as a light joke to make her feel better, but she could also sense the truth behind those words and the sincerety behind those compliments and she couldn't help but blush (seriously was this normal for a human to blush this much ?).  She pulled her girlfriend into a tight hug.
 

"I won't because it's not true. And I don't plan on getting rid of you anytime soon" she promised. She could feel Byulyi smile and let out a sigh as she whispered "Good. Now let's go, my legs are starting to give out" she laughed as she pulled away to drag Solar to her bedroom where they quickly changed into they pijamas and slipped inside the covers. As she cuddled closer to Moonbyul, she said, her eyelids heavy, already driffting off to sleep "Also, you have to promise me that even if we ever fight again like that, we won't spend as many nights in different beds. Pretty sure I can't get a better night of sleep than when we're like that." The other girl laughed, gently the brunette's hair. 

"Deal."