A/N: There's a very minor mention of a situation that could have been non-con but does not happen in the end.

 

**

 

Free to be (Limitless). That was the name of Myungsoo’s final year photo exhibition. Sungyeol feels a little pathetic to be recalling that now, but he justifies it with the face he spots in the crowd. Hoya. He remembers the guy. How can he not? Hoya had made quite an impression back in their college days. The same can’t be said for Sungyeol and he doesn’t bother waving to the guy lest Hoya thinks he’s a weirdo. Sungyeol’s day has been crappy enough without needing to see an old college mate try to place his face to some faded memory and fail. Holding back a sigh at that thought, Sungyeol turns to pouring himself a new glass of soju instead.

“Sungyeol-ssi…?”

He looks up. It’s Hoya standing in front of him, frowning slightly. The guy must have recognised him then.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

Hoya’s face morphs into a crooked grin. He settles himself on the chair in front of Sungyeol without asking.

“I’m Hoya. We used to be in the same college. I’m a friend of Myungsoo.”

The soju is bitter on his tongue, but Sungyeol thinks he might be getting used to it. “Yeah, I know. I remember.”

Hoya leans back, hooking his arms over the back of the chair. “How’s he?”

“Good, I guess.” Sungyeol turns over a new glass, waves it at Hoya. “Want a drink?”

Hoya eyes the empty glass, then shrugs. “Sure, why not?”

 

 

<< 

 

 

Back in college, Hoya was Myungsoo’s friend. Sungyeol was Myungsoo’s roommate. While Sungyeol knew Myungsoo had a friend named Hoya, he had never seen the guy before because their paths never crossed. He didn’t really care. The only reason why Sungyeol even met Hoya at all was because of Myungsoo.

“Yeol, are you free?”

“Maybe, why?”

“Can you help me with my lighting? I need to get this ready before Hoya gets here.”

He didn’t agree at first, but Myungsoo’s puppy eyes and pleads of “But this is an important project, Yeollie, please? Please?”got him to change his mind. That was how Sungyeol had ended up adjusting lights more expensive than anything he owned when Hoya walked into the studio Myungsoo had rented.

“Myungsoo’s in there,” Sungyeol had said without looking up, trying not to drop the equipment he knew he couldn’t afford to pay.

“Thanks,” Hoya had replied. He quickly disappeared into the adjacent room.

If Sungyeol had briefly wondered why Myungsoo wanted to photograph Hoya when his theme was about people who break stereotypes, he didn’t ask. Myungsoo was the photographer, the artist. Sungyeol was just a guy scrapping by in acting. Anyway, he had figured then while tilting the too hot lamps that maybe Hoya being sort of short could be reason enough. The guy had seemed pretty alpha otherwise. When Myungsoo later thanked him for his good job on the lighting, Sungyeol had beamed with pride. By then, he had already forgotten whatever little curiosity he had about Hoya being Myungsoo’s photo subject.

 

 

>> 

 

 

“So how are you?” Hoya asks, taking the bottle from Sungyeol’s  hand.

“Hmm. Alright, I guess.” Sungyeol looks at Hoya pouring the drink for him. He takes it when Hoya is done.

Hoya tips the bottle and starts filling his own glass instead. “Is that a generic alright, or an I’m-actually-alright alright?”

Sungyeol raises an eyebrow. “I think most people would consider it rude to ask that.”

Hoya raises his glass in Sungyeol’s direction. Sungyeol pauses for a moment, but then clinks it before he downs the shot. Hoya finishes his more slowly. When he’s done, he says, “Well. You don’t have to answer that, I suppose.”

He really doesn’t. But maybe Sungyeol has been waiting for someone to ask, because he says, “Myungsoo just announced his engagement, did you hear?”

 

 

<< 

 

 

There was one time Sungyeol forgot to tell Myungsoo his evening class got cancelled. When he had returned to the dorm, he startled two people in the room – three if he counted himself.

“Yeol, , I thought you have evening class,” Myungsoo had shouted, scrambling up from his stomach. He twisted around, hands gathering the duvet around his body.

“It got cancelled,” Sungyeol had muttered. He tried not look at the other person on Myungsoo’s bed when he spoke, but he had already seen who that was (had already seen what they were doing).

“Guess I should probably get out now, huh,” Hoya had said after an awkward silence passed. Sungyeol had to pretend he didn’t notice Hoya putting on clothes or Myungsoo trying to wear his boxers. Minutes later, there was only Sungyeol in his room, with a slightly frustrated Myungsoo.

“Uh, sorry you had to see that. I really thought you weren’t going to be back anytime soon,” Myungsoo had said, an apologetic smile on his face.

Sungyeol tried not mind the fact that in any other situation, he should be the one apologising to Myungsoo for interrupting, so he had joked instead, “Never knew you would be the bottom eh.”

Myungsoo probably missed the fact that that was Sungyeol’s attempt to diffuse the awkward air, because he tilted his head. “Is this because I’m an alpha? You know I don’t care about that.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.” Great, Sungyeol just made things worse when he had been trying to do the opposite. “I just said it offhandedly. You know. A joke…”

Except, Myungsoo is giving him a wide-eyed look, and Sungyeol remembered how much Myungsoo had ranted about how damaging alpha-beta-omega and male-female stereotypes were the whole time he had been doing research for his project, and now he felt like an . “Sorry, that was probably insensitive.”

Myungsoo stared at him a little more. But eventually he said, “Never mind. I get that you didn’t mean it.”

Sungyeol was relieved to hear that. A little grateful too. He was about to start his evening routine of making ramyeon when Myungsoo added, in that casual way he often said stuff without thinking, “Also, just so you know, I’m a switch. I don’t believe in all those normalized notions of alphas only topping or what not. Honestly it doesn’t matter to me. I only bottomed because Hoya never bottoms.”

That was more information than Sungyeol knew what to do with, so he dealt with it the only way he knew how. “Right. Okay, now where did I put my ramyeon?"

 

 

>> 

 

 

Hoya stops Sungyeol from pouring himself another glass.

“Is that why you are drinking?” Hoya asks.

Sungyeol laughs. “That would be pathetic. Drinking because Myungsoo got engaged.”

Hoya pries the bottle from his hand and holds it out of his reach. Sungyeol wants to remind him that he paid for it, but Hoya interrupts.

“Yeah, that would be kind of pathetic, but you didn’t really answer my question. Are you drinking because Myungsoo got engaged?”

For someone he didn’t know that well and only happened to see today, Hoya’s too nosy for his own good. Sungyeol sighs, aware that he’s being dramatic, but he’s just a little buzzed enough to not care. “Fine, yes, I’m drinking because Myungsoo got engaged. Now will you pour me a glass?”

Hoya narrows his eyes at him. He does, however, pour some soju for Sungyeol. “This looks like your sixth bottle so I really shouldn’t be helping you get more intoxicated, but I guess you deserve half a glass for being honest.”

Honest. Ha. Sungyeol laughs again. “If I was honest I wouldn’t be here.”

Hoya keeps quiet, pouring the rest of the bottle into his own glass. The measly half-glass of soju in Sungyeol’s hand is finished too soon. He’s staring at the empty glass, when he hears himself say, “He got engaged to an omega.”

Hoya’s thick eyebrows make an interesting arch when he raises them, but Sungyeol’s more focused on the words coming out of his mouth. “Myungsoo, the guy who always defied alpha stereotypes and who spent his whole final year photographing individuals who don’t fit into the usual alpha-beta-omega stereotypes. That’s the same Myungsoo who’s getting engaged to an omega. An omega! Can you believe it?”

Hoya doesn’t comment, so Sungyeol continues. “And that’s not even the best part. He’s getting engaged to an omega who’s someone embodying everything a perfect omega should be! Nice, cute, docile, pocket sized –”  

“Now who’s the one stereotyping?” Hoya mumbles, jolting Sungyeol out of his ramble. He looks at Hoya, remembering, and is about to apologise when Hoya cuts in, “Don’t apologise to me. Apologise to Woohyun for thinking that if you want to, but not me.”

Sungyeol’s about to say something in response, but Hoya mutters something in an undertone he doesn’t quite catch.

“What did you say?” Sungyeol asks.

Hoya looks up, expression unreadable. Then, he says, “This has nothing to do with you being a beta.”

                                                                                        

 

<< 

 

 

Beta. In a world that is supposedly no longer discriminatory towards the different es and presentations, Sungyeol nonetheless felt left out.

“Are you doing human portraits?” Sungyeol had asked when Myungsoo finally decided on what he wanted to do for his final year project.

“Yeah. I wanted to comment on discrimination and stereotypes that still hurt us even in this modern day and age. Portraits of individuals who don’t fit in the box would be an interesting way to express how each of us is different even if we have the same or presentation.”

Myungsoo sounded excited. Sungyeol was too.

“Hey, that’s cool. Who do you have in mind?”

“Hmm?” Myungsoo looked up distractedly. He rattled off the names of two people Sungyeol knew. There was Sunggyu, an omega whose attitude is somewhat hostile and not pleasant at all, unlike how omegas are assumed to be. Then there was Dongwoo, an alpha who was carefree and laughed too much and wouldn’t hurt anything unlike the aggressive image many alphas still sought after. Myungsoo had paused after that, before adding that he might take a self-portrait as well, since his easy-going nature and penchant for skinship didn’t exactly fit the typical alpha stereotype either. And then Myungsoo got stuck.

Sungyeol waited. And waited. But eventually Myungsoo stopped trying to think of names. He pulled his camera strap over his neck.

“Okay, I think I need to find more models. I’m going to go out to see if I find interesting students who are willing to model for my project. Don’t wait to eat dinner with me, yeah?”

Sungyeol had looked up then, two ramyeon packets in hand.

“Yeah, okay. Have fun,” he said to Myungsoo’s disappearing back.

He put one ramyeon packet back on the shelf.

 

 

>> 

 

 

“What are you talking about?” Sungyeol asks.

“This has nothing to do with you being a beta,” Hoya repeats. “This isn’t about your presentation or Myungsoo’s or Woohyun’s –”

Sungyeol splutters. “Who are you to tell me tha –”

“–this is about you not having the courage to confess to Myungsoo when you could have, and then blaming everything else now because he’s happily engaged to someone else,” Hoya finishes.

Sungyeol is speechless.

And then, all at once, the words sink in.

When Sungyeol starts crying, it takes a while for him to register that the ugly sobs are coming from him.

Hoya doesn’t say anything.

 

 

<< 

 

 

In college, Sungyeol’s collection was pretty well known. It was more for the sheer quantity he had in his hard drive than the variety, but it was still something. Myungsoo sometimes borrowed it without asking, but Sungyeol figured it was one of the hazards of having a roommate. He never expected Myungsoo to share it with Hoya.

“You only watch beta men with beta women,” Hoya had commented one day when Myungsoo was in the toilet.

Sungyeol hadn’t understood what he meant, until Hoya tilted his head in the direction of his hard drive, and then he was scrambling to explain himself.

“What’s wrong with that –”

“I’m not saying anything,” Hoya had interjected. “I’m just wondering why Myungsoo even watches it. He’s not a beta.”

Sungyeol blinked. He quickly rattled off reasons then why Myungsoo might be interested in beta : Myungsoo was progressive, Myungsoo loved people regardless of their gender and presentation.

Hoya nodded, not really saying anything. Sungyeol was glad.

But later, Myungsoo apparently found out.

“Yeol, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have showed your stuff to Hoya.”

“It’s okay. He didn’t think anything weird about it.”

Myungsoo looked a little relieved but still added, “Okay. But you know, if you ever want to talk, you know I’m here for you.”

Sungyeol had nodded, but he knew he wouldn’t take Myungsoo up on his offer. Even if he was going to talk to someone about it, Myungsoo was the last person he would want to explain why he lived a life of celibacy. He didn’t