“Hey, why are you so sad?” Siyeon asks this as she plops down next to Jieqiong, who was sitting all alone on the floor of their dorm’s living room. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Jieqiong grumbles.

Siyeon her teeth and bumps her shoulder with Jieqiong’s, causing the girl to topple over a little bit. “That’s obviously not true. You’re pouting like there’s no tomorrow.”

The older girl shoots Siyeon a glare in which Siyeon just smiles—it’s not her usual radiant smile, though—this smile is more soft and comforting than it is bright and happy. Jieqiong’s glare falters and she sighs, turning her head to the side.

She mumbles something incoherent to Siyeon, eyes cast downwards.

“What’d you say?” Siyeon leans forward, tilting her head.

Jieqiong sighs louder.

“It’s because of Nayoung.”

Siyeon moves back to her original position, eyes wide. “Did something happen between you two?”

“No.” Jieqiong shakes her head but offers no intention to explain. Siyeon narrows her eyes.

“So, what’s the problem?”

“It’s stupid.” Jieqiong goes to get up from the floor but Siyeon grabs onto her wrist.

“It’s not stupid if it makes you upset.” Siyeon states honestly, pulling Jieqiong back down besides her. “If you don’t want to talk to me about it, why not try talking to Nayoung about it? Maybe that’ll help, yeah?”

“No. It’s embarrassing.”

“Well you can’t just wallow in your own self-pity, Jieqiong.” Siyeon places a hand on the girl’s knee, patting it gently.

“Watch me.” Jieqiong grumbles.

Siyeon laughs and shakes her head despite the worry in her eyes. She wonders what happened between the two but decides not to pry—the two aren’t very open about what happens between them with the other girls.

x

First it was the hugs and then it was the ‘I love you’s and then it was the stickers and, honestly? Jieqiong has never felt more insignificant in her life. They were little things, yes, but the little things matter so much to Jieqiong that it physically hurt her heart every time someone else beats her to making Nayoung even the tiniest bit more happy than she already was (because the girl deserves tons and tons of happiness, Jieqiong knows that for sure).

It’s selfish to think that way because any kind of happiness that Nayoung gains is good and it shouldn’t matter who made her happy but Jieqiong just can’t help but feel unhappy. When Nayoung laughed as she hugged Sohye, it was like a tug-of-war was going on in Jieqiong’s heart. When she said ‘I love you’ to Doyeon with a huge smile, Jieqiong wanted to walk away (and it didn’t matter that Nayoung had said ‘I love you’ to her more than anyone else combined). When Yebin beat her to giving Nayoung a sticker (a sticker), Jieqiong felt her stomach plummet in disappointment.

She shouldn’t think this way. She shouldn’t.

But she does.

These thoughts run through her head as she lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling and making out random shapes in the darkness. The door creaks open, letting in some light from the hallway as Yebin pokes her head into the completely dark room.

“We’re going out for some ice cream, do you want to come with us?” she asks.

Jieqiong shakes her head before realizing that Yebin probably can’t see her. “No, I’m too tired.”

“Okay. You want us to get you anything?”

“Yes, please.”

“Strawberry?”

“Yes, please.”

“Okay.”

The darkness encloses Jieqiong once more and she listens to the muffled voices outside her room. There’s the faint jingle of keys before she hears the front door open and close with the alarm system beeping. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, hearing nothing but silence for the first time all day.

Usually she’d be the one to propose going out for ice cream, she’d be the first one to jump out of bed, the first one to be so energetic after a long day of training, but today has just drained her so much physically and emotionally that she’d rather just stay in bed.

A few minutes later, she gasps when she hears her bedroom door open, eyes opening. The person flicks the light switch on and it momentarily blinds Jieqiong, who sits up as she rubs her eyes. By the time she gains her vision back, Nayoung is already sat on the edge of her bed, eyes staring at her.

“Why aren’t you going with them?” she questions with her usual tone, no accusation whatsoever. Jieqiong’s eyes switch between Nayoung’s.

“Too tired.” JIeqiong repeats the same response she had given to Yebin a few minutes ago. It’s not a lie but with the way Nayoung looks at her, Jieqiong can’t help but feel guilty.

There’s silence between them as Nayoung studies the younger girl. And then,

“Is everything okay?”

Jieqiong breaks the eye contact and gulps, nodding. “Yeah.”

“Jieqiong.” Nayoung says in a firmer tone.

Jieqiong really hates having a weak spot for Nayoung. She really does.

“I just—” Jieqiong sighs. “I want to do more for you.”

Both of Nayoung’s eyebrows rise up in surprise just as the color rushes to Jieqiong’s cheeks and the tips of her ears.

“What do you mean?” Nayoung asks.

“I like it when you’re happy—no, I love it—but I…” Jieqiong stumbles over her own words, unsure what to say. She huffs out a breath, getting aggravated with herself. “It’s stupid. It’s stupid and I shouldn’t feel like this but I just—I feel upset when someone else makes you happy, especially when I could’ve easily done the same thing. Like—like the sticker. Yebin was faster to grab it but I... I know that it’s childish—God, it’s so childish—and I know I shouldn’t be so upset about it but—”

Jieqiong’s words come to a halt when she feels Nayoung’s hand on her thigh.

“Is that why you’ve been so quiet the past few days?”

A quick nod was given as Jieqiong’s eyes slowly rose from their attention to the bedsheets back up to Nayoung’s eyes. Jieqiong swears she can see a twinkle in them.

“I love you so much.”

Jieqiong’s heart lurches forward in stunned happiness. She opens to say something back, but nothing comes out.

Nayoung gives the tiniest of grins. “You make me happy just by existing, Jieqiong. I thought you knew that by now.”

“But that’s nothing.” Jieqiong sighs in frustration, ignoring the rapid beating of her heart and the warmth on her cheeks. “And it’s not like I have a lot of time to actually do meaningful things for you and it’s the little things that count, right? I remember you telling me that a long long time ago—when we first started to… and now it means more to me than ever and I just feel like crap when I can’t do things for you when I actually could’ve.”

Nayoung listens as Jieqiong rambles. It’s sweet, really, but Jieqiong sort of just wants the older girl to shut her up at this point.

“I know it’s unhealthy for me to get jealous this easily but it’s not even about other people and it’s just so immature and childish but I—” Jieqiong tears up, her fragile heart not able to take so much, especially not when Nayoung’s looking at her like she’s her whole world and more. She looks down at her lap. “I just want to make you happy.” she whispers.

The hand on her thigh moves to cup her chin, lifting her face to get her to look at Nayoung in the eyes.

“Zhou Jieqiong.” Nayoung starts off, voice soft. Her thumb moves up to wipe away the tear that escaped.  “You make me happier than words can describe. I honestly thought you knew that but I suppose I’ll have to try harder to let you know. And, yes, the little thing matter, but you shouldn’t get so upset if someone else beats you to it. Making me happy is not a competition, and, even if it was, you’d be so far ahead of everyone that it shouldn’t even count as one.”

If Jieqiong wasn’t bright red before this (she was), she’s the color of a tomato at this point. Nayoung hasn’t said much in comparison to the amount of words that just spewed out of Jieqiong’s lips but the impact they had on her was worth a million books.

“I’m sorry.” Jieqiong mumbles.

“Don’t be.” Nayoung smiles. “Just know that you make me the happiest girl in the world.”

“I feel so immature.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers.” Nayoung teases.

“Hey!” Jieqiong whines.

The alarm system beeps and then Siyeon’s loud, excited voice calls out for the couple to ‘come get their damn ice cream’.

Jieqiong sniffles with a laugh and wipes the corners of her eyes.

“Let’s go eat some ice cream.” Nayoung announces, standing from the bed and holding out her hand for Jieqiong.

The younger girl nods and takes hold of her girlfriend’s hand, the two of them exiting the room together.