I sat down at the far end corner of the training room, stretching my muscles after a harsh training lesson of judo. It has been long since I last invested my time and energy on sports related activities and to think that I actually decided to sign on judo amazes me.

I have no idea what prompted me to join, is it because of the stress I’m facing in school that I needed somewhere to relieve my stress or is it because of…

Him.

Nothing makes any sense and I definitely don’t have any intentions to make any sense out of this senseless decision either. Figuring out how you feel for someone or reasoning out why you made this decision requires more energy than training for judo and I would honestly just rather train my life away than to think of the rest. I diverted my attention to the figures sitting right across the room, observing them really carefully just so to not get caught by them or the other trainers in the room. Their laughter and the way they fool around with each other somehow disturbed me.

“why the hell am I disturbed…” I asked myself quietly, tilting my head a little as I squint at them.

“why do I feel as though…” I slowly said, searching my heart and head for an answer but there seems to be none, as probably I’m just refusing the real answer.

“you want to be her.” A voice said, and I jumped, slightly shocked by the sudden voice.

I turned my head to my left looking up as I saw Kim Taehyung standing right beside me.

“how long have you been standing here?” I frowned, ignoring what he has just said.

“not too long,” he started, “but long enough to observe you, observing jimin and seol over there. Maybe about 10 minutes?” he grins, as though he’s teasing me.

“not funny...” I replied bluntly, diverting my attention somewhere else just in case Taehyung decides to say anything more.

“you know about what I say just now,” Taehyung started and I cut his sentence right off. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“you have to stop running away from your feelings.” Taehyung stubbornness stopped him for shutting up.

“I’m not.” I replied, as I grabbed my bottle beside me, taking a sip of water.

“obviously you are. Although we have just met not long after you join this class and I might not know what kind of person you really are yet, but I can sense that you are here because of jimin.” I just can’t believe this dude right beside me. We have just met for like what? 3 months? Or maybe 4 months. But here he is trying to tell me how to feel and what to feel.

I let out a heavy sigh, “like what you have said, we haven’t met for too long. And we aren’t close either. So would you mind not butting your nose into someone else’s business?”

Although Taehyung and I haven’t met for long but he is someone who can’t control the expression on his face. He shows every emotion right on his face; just like an open book for everyone to read. And now his face clearly said that he is offended by what I have just said.

“I… I’m sorry.” I muttered, looking down trying to phrase something nice. “it’s just not cool for you to just…” I said and when I look up, I see Taehyung trying to hold in his laughter. That’s when I knew that he has been trying to pretend as though he was mad all along.

Fuming mad, I stood up. “god, Taehyung, I can’t believe...” I was going to say but I stopped when my eyes met Jimin’s. “never mind. I’m going off.” Walking out of the training room already.

“but the class isn’t over yet.” I heard Taehyung shouting from behind. I went straight to the changing room, got myself changed and off I go; out of the Judo training building. But just as I was about to walk towards the nearest subway station, I heard footsteps from behind and there I see; Kim Taehyung.

I squint as he came closer, “what are you doing here?”

“skipping class with you.” He said as he leads the way, with me following from behind.

I folded my arms across my chest, “why are you even being like this?” I asked curiously. We barely even know anything and now he is skipping class with me.

“by any chance… you don’t have a crush on me, do you?” I asked and he stopped walking and I heard him chuckle before he starts walking again.

“if you are half as blunt as you are to me,” he said.

“half as curious,”

“half as straight forward,”

Taehyung then turn around with a smirk on his face, walking backwards “jimin would probably be the one walking here with you right now.”

“what kind of rubbish are you talking about!” I immediately rebutted; obviously he isn’t even done with his teasing since just now.

“when will you ever stop with the jimin and seol thing? Or… my feelings for jimin? Gosh...” I said, shaking my head, walking ahead of him right now.

Taehyung caught up with me, and we started walking side by side when he said out of the blue, “I know you have got feelings for jimin.”

“are you a fortune teller?” I asked, trying to avoid answering anything jimin-related.

“your eyes tell me everything. You can’t lie, and I know it.” Taehyung ignored my question.

I sigh, “and are you going to ask me to go to hell and stay away from him because he is yours?” I rolled my eyes.

“what?!” Taehyung started laughing. “girl, you didn’t just...” but I wasn’t laughing and that’s when he realized that someone once said that to me at the exact same situation.

“seol said that to you, huh.” He said, and rubbing his chin like a grandfather would.

“I have known jimin and seol ever since we were young kids. I have been training with them since young, so I do get why seol said that to you.” Taehyung said in a serious tone now.

I shrugged. “Back then when I first join, I had no idea why is she saying such things to me when I only said that I want to know more about Jimin and of course it’s as a friend.”

I snorted and continued, “but after I saw how they interacted and fool around with each other, I understood just why did seol said that to me.”

Taehyung just nodded as though he is just urging me to continue my story. “there are days whereby I just want to go up to her and say, ‘I won’t ever snatch jimin from you’ and I’m going to demand an apology from her for her y attitude. But… I figured that I tried, but I just can’t seem to do it.”

“maybe because you know that you are going to snatch jimin away from her?” Taehyung asked, glancing over at me; waiting for my reaction.

“maybe?” I said, “but that day will never come.”

“who knows.”

I gave him a side look, “why are you always arguing with me?”

“i’m not. i’m just helping you to see things that you refuse to admit.” he said, grinning again.

“so, how did you meet jimin?” he continued after not hearing a reply from me for a while.

“well…” i stopped.

“an event.”

Taehyung nodded, and i continued, “he saved me from falling. my leg was hurt when we met and he assisted me, and helped me ease the pain.”

“he was just so nice and… well. his gentle smile and the way he assisted me, he is just so caring and shy and, cute.” all i had for him was compliments.

“but things changed. maybe, he was just having a good day when i first met him, but things changed when we meet again. he was surprised to see me at the training centre but…”

“i guess he just isn’t the same as the guy i first met on the event.”

“he probably hates me.”

Taehyung let out a small chuckle, “and what made you said so?”

“his actions, the way he sees me with those cold eyes. and the way he talks to me. it’s just so different from the way he treats seol, or you or anyone else in the training centre.”

i paused for a while, contemplating if i should continue but eventually i did, “he is nice to everyone excepts for me.” trying my very best not to show my unhappiness on my face but somehow taehyung seems to notice it.

“get that sulky face off that beautiful face.” he said, poking my cheeks lightly.

i snorted after hearing those words, and said “you are trying too hard to flirt with me right now, dude.” a small chuckle left my mouth.

“well, i’m just that outgoing and easy to get along with, unlike jimin.” and my smile faded after hearing his name.

“well, i should just move on with life, shouldn’t i?” i asked Taehyung.

“what do you mean?” he raised his brows.

“while things haven’t gone that far yet, while my feelings still can be suppressed, while i’m still able to get going with life, i should leave.” i don’t know what prompted me to say something like that, or even have the thought of it. but to me, everything seems useless right now. going for something that you know wouldn’t happen is harder than finding a tiny needle under the ocean.