Nobody really knew what inside Jung Hoseok’s mind.

He was a ball of sunshine; the silver streak you saw through the cloudy sky after rain. The bouncy, noisy enigma that walked around like an open book ready for reading but deeper than the Challenger Deep of Marina Trench once you took a peek in. A hope.

Not many noticed that as well. Everybody believed that Hobi was, well, the person he was showing people. He rarely cried, claiming that real man had to control his emotion. Of course, he always said that half-jokingly. However, upon few occasions they saw him did, it broke their hearts. He shared his mind openly, but not the deepest secret he kept locked somewhere nobody was allowed to see. It took a while for the group members to peel through the sunny exterior and had a sneak peek of what brewing inside the slender body. The first to spot the storm inside Hoseok was Yoongi. Even then, he couldn’t name the darkness he saw there.

Tonight, Hoseok had again retreated inside the murky zone.

‘You guys go on ahead. I’ll stay for a bit.’

They’d been practicing until the wee-hour of the morning. Yoongi had counted. They’d done enough practice to last for two days. Not that it meant anything, since they would just repeat it again the next day. Practice made perfect – some like that. The routine was a little, scratch it; was abusive but if it sold the album and tickets then they would do even more in future. Hoseok, however, seemed to force himself too much he would hit the wall soon if he wasn’t careful.

‘Hobi-hyung. Maybe you should come home with us. You look exhausted.’

Jungkook stared at him. All of them noticed that Hoseok had been focusing too much with practicing lately, returning only after everybody had fallen asleep and waking up before they did.

‘I’m fine. You guys go ahead. Don’t worry about me. It’s just for a short while.’

Hoseok proceeded to select the music from the phone he’d connected to the speaker. His whole body was drenched with sweat even in the air-conditioned room. Giving them his back like that would only mean that he had stopped listening. It would be pointless to try again. Jungkook sighed and turned to Jimin; shrugging his shoulder. The three of them had taken up a habit to put extra hours in practicing, but Hoseok had been going on a speed even the both of them couldn’t catch up.

‘I’ll stay with Hobi. You guys go ahead.’

Yoongi sudden declaration pulled everybody’s attention. He’d spend two hours in the studio with Namjoon, composing a track after their initial dance practice. When the leader left, he decided to drop by the practice room. As expected, Hoseok was still there.

The said boy gave Yoongi a smile.

‘You don’t have to. I’ll be done soon anyway.’

Yoongi huffed and threw his on the worn out sofa placed at the corner of the room.

‘I’m not tired. Might as well stay,’ he glanced at Jungkook and Jimin that were still watching from the entrance. ‘Go home before you sleep on your feet.’

The maknaes looked somewhere in between worry and relief as they said their farewell and left. They were really tired. Though it appeared atrocious to leave immediately after Yoongi said that, they knew that if they’d stayed longer; someone would hurt himself.

Hoseok just shook his head over the smile on his face, decided on a song and started moving his body alongside the fast beats.

Yoongi kept his eyes on the boy in front of him as he took out his note book. One of the things that fascinated him the most was Hoseok’s dance. There was always an extra spectrum to it; a mix of an explosive energy in the clean and smooth movement. The Gwangju prodigy always seemed like he was in trance whenever he danced. Void of reality.

He noticed that. It was a form of escape. For someone like him and Namjoon, their escape was through lyrics and music they made. For Hoseok – his dance.

Subconsciously, Yoongi started writing down his thought about Hoseok. Things that made him. Things that kept him going. His passion and hidden darkness; the book everybody could open but not read.

When the boy suddenly collapsed to the floor, Yoongi sprang up from the sofa.

‘Are you okay?’

Hoseok raised one hand up and waved it slightly, indicating that he was fine. Yoongi didn’t buy it, taking few strides before he crouched besides the boy and patted the side of the damped head.

‘Dizzy?’

Hoseok blinked at the blonde.

‘No. Just… out of breath.’

Yoongi made a sound at the back of his throat before leaning down to scoop Hoseok behind his shoulder and push him up to sit.

‘It’s 4.30 am. Let’s go home.’

Hoseok glanced at the wall clock before turning to smile at the shorter boy beside him.

‘I’ll stay for 30 more minutes. Hyung, you go ahead.’

3 times. This was the third time Hoseok said to “go ahead”. Yoongi sighed.

‘You didn’t sleep for the past few days. Pushing yourself like this will only lead to injuries.’

Hobi paused, wondering quickly how Yoongi knew about that before schooling his feature and rubbed the back of his neck with a small laugh.

‘I slept. It’s you who kept coming back late and didn’t see it.’

Yoongi gave him the look. That somehow managed to kill the mood Hoseok tried to build.

‘I noticed, Hobi. Don’t lie to me.’

There were people that he could hide things from, no matter how hard they pushed. Then, there was Suga. The boy was different. It was like they had walked in parallel line all this while, with Suga and him sharing some kind of foundation that only the both of them noticed and understood. Hoseok had managed to swerve pass any rising discussion with him all these while. Today, however, he made a mistake and was caught with no way out; unless he wanted to add more suspicion in the observant boy.

He needed something smart to say. Something that would convince the other boy that he was fine. The past few days were only in Yoongi’s head. He had slept. Hoseok didn’t push himself. He was just doing all the normal routine he took up since they debut.

Despite the brilliant flow he’d arranged in his mind, it suddenly got even harder to breathe. Hoseok hung his head down in between the knees that he’d pulled up, trying to calm the unexpected assault. He coughed involuntarily, feeling the tears rising in his eyes. The unexpected onslaught left him helpless for a moment. It felt like he suddenly lost control over his body - the last thread he was holding on with dear life until few seconds ago.

Yoongi worked on impulse at the sight, reaching out to pull Hoseok in tight hug. The boy looked at the verge of breaking. He knew it deep in his heart. There were times when he was in the same condition. Yoongi had fallen into the dark pit once and god knew how close he was to succumb to the call of darkness, to leave everything behind.

He saw the same warning in Hoseok’s eyes.

‘Breathe slowly, Hobi. I’m here with you.’

It was hard. The confusion was endless and there was no beginning and end to even start with. Hoseok had done his best to go around the issue, lying even to himself that he could make it through. He had a family that loved him. Friends. Friends that were like family to him. His dream so close to be fulfilled. He just needed to work hard.

But like a black hole, he couldn’t escape from being pulled in.

‘I’m scared, hyung.’

It was heartbreaking to listen to the shaky voice from a person who seemed to be walking in sunshine all these while. Reality was truly a . Quietly, he cursed whatever devil in work to bring Hoseok down like this.  

Damn it, leave him alone!

‘I know, Hobi. Me too,’ he leaned his cheek against the trembling head, offering as many comfort that he could. ‘We can make through this together. You hear me?’

For few long seconds, Yoongi had thought that Hoseok was too far gone to hear him; or listen to him. But when the hand that curled around the legs just now moved to embrace him, Yoongi closed his eyes in relief.

It was a baby step. A tiny progress.

Better than nothing.

Yoongi kept hugging the younger boy until the sobbing subsided. When he could feel the tense muscle relaxing gradually, he pulled back a little. Just enough to peek at Hoseok’s face.

‘Let’s move to the sofa. The floor is too cold,’ he whispered before adding. ‘Sitting on cold floor gives you hemorrhoids.’

There was a snort of some sort before he felt Hoseok moved. He could feel the boy’s arm loosening, but Yoongi tightened his as he pulled the boy up.

‘Let’s go to the sofa like this.’

It wasn’t easy to walk like that, but Yoongi was never so determined in his life. They stumbled few times, but he kept walking backward until Hoseok opened his mouth.

‘Hyung, we’ll fall like this.’

‘No we won’t. Just look at where we’re going.’

Yoongi turned around when his leg hit the sofa, pulling Hoseok along with him. He maneuvered carefully before pushing the younger boy down on the sofa and not stopping until Hoseok was completely horizontal on it.

Yoongi climbed up after him, using his weight to keep Hoseok in place.

‘You need to sleep.’

Hoseok’s mind had cleared up some times ago. Now that he had cried what felt like a week worth of tears, he felt agonizingly tired and sleepy but he was still sweaty and disgusting.

‘I need to wash up first.’

‘No. Just go to sleep. Worry about it later,’ Yoongi let go just enough to pull the thrown rug over them and returned to hug Hoseok closely.

There was a strange sense of comfort in the way Yoongi was holding on to him. Earlier, he thought he wouldn’t be able to recover but the blonde boy somehow managed to grab hold of his entire being and anchor him down firmly. All he could sense was Yoongi.

There was no way he could tell what future had in store for him, but for now; he would just hold on to this offered warmth.

~~~

Hoseok was fast asleep.

Yoongi removed the small towel from the armrest and threw it on his discarded bag. He had taken the time to wipe the sweat off Hoseok and put a fresh t-shirt on him. The boy didn’t even stir throughout the process.

He noticed that Hoseok had lost some weight. Depression was not a joke to begin with. It ate you up quietly from the inside.

Min Yoongi was there once, fighting his own demon. Watching Hoseok reminded him to his own struggle.

He got a lot better after meeting the boys. They laughed together; cried together. Pursuing the same dream and strived hard to achieve it together. For him it was healing. It was just what he needed.

Unbeknownst to them; Hoseok slipped and fell into the dark abyss.

Yoongi had never felt as protective over anyone as he did for Hoseok right now. It wasn’t just a simple concern. His head and chest were full with Jung Hoseok. He was generous with advises to friends that needed it, but with the boy; he wanted to do a lot more.

There was a name to this feeling he had for the ball of sunshine. Right now, Yoongi wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

He was in love. And when Min Yoongi loved someone, he would do anything for them. 

OmO Yoongiii~~~~（；へ：）