(Almost Lover - A fine frenzy)

your fingertips across my skin

the palm trees swaying in the wind

Chungha told herself that there was nothing more to the gentle touches than a friendly gesture. They were totally just friendly, even the ones that grazed her cheeks as they lay huddled, all hot in the moment. \that was just in the moment, she often had to remind herself before getting too excited. Every time she told herself this, however, her mind wandered to that time they visited Seoul. Sejeong took her to every street, holding her hand and leading her to a windy beach. She listened, absolutely enthralled by Sejeong's reminiscence, for hours until the sun set and the wind from the shore was shaking the trees and lulling them to sleep. She told herself that she rested her head on Sejeong's chest in the most plutonic way. There couldn't have been anything else.

you sang me Spanish lullabies

the sweetest sadness in your eyes

Sometimes when Chungha had nightmares, she would find herself in Sejeong's bed. She was shushed and cradled and promised that everything was okay. Most nights they lay silent under the pale moonlight; some nights Sejeong would lull her to sleep with words that she didn't understand yet somehow was comforted by. Hell, Sejeong could have been singing the worst song in the universe but that didn't matter. There were deep, shushed tones in her voice as Sejeong sang songs that were probably from her childhood, and Chungha had never felt safer and more grateful than she did with the tan arms wrapped around her.

i never wanna see you unhappy

i thought you'd want the same for me

Sejeong was a flirt; everyone knew that. Chungha especially knew that. They should have never left Seoul for Los Angeles because Sejeong finally decided to stay for that girl. She could see the way Somi caught her eye from the day they met and she could definitely see that Sejeong wasn't giving up no matter how much she seemed to not want her. Chungha hated herself for being jealous, but every time she saw them flirting, her heart dropped so deep. There was no escaping it - she was so stupidly in love with Kim Sejeong.

we walked along a crowded street

you took my hand and danced with me

Memories from Seoul kept her awake almost every night because no matter how many times she thought about it, it kept getting better. She remembered a street festival in a small downtown square. It was on a day that Sejeong was talking her out sightseeing, a Sunday. She remembered laughing honestly... laughing as Sejeong dragged her out into the middle of the crowd just to dance. They laughed until their jaws hurt and tears were pricking the corners of Sejeong's brown eyes - she swore she'd never see a sight more beautiful again and she still hasn't. Nothing was more beautiful or enticing as the way that Sejeong looked when she was having fun. It was an image Chungha wished she could forget.

goodbye my almost lover

goodbye my hopeless dream

Chungha had spent the past three days watching the two flirt back and forth. Three days. It took her seventy-two hours to decide that she was only holding Sejeong down. 'She deserves her. She doesn’t need me. She deserves to be happy, Chungha repeated her justification back to herself as she drove to the empty streets of Los Angeles. She was too good for her, just like Sejeong. Sejeong was happy with Somi though. She doesn't need her anymore, Somi's there for her anyways. A few tears rolled down her cheeks as she drove straight away from their shared apartment, trying not to look back.

IOI's done and I am really speechless right now. I still can't accept the fact that they're just..... done after a year. I know we all signed up for this from the start but I never knew that this will hurt so much.

p.s I'm sorry for the angst. I really can't write anything fluffy right now.