Just a lil teaser to excite y’all. ^^

Also, a declaration, I love ASTRO so much. Sigh.

 My beloved Minie,

 I’m glad that this letter is safely in your hands. You must hate me a lot right now, don’t you? It’s okay. I understand.

 I don’t even know where I should begin, how I should apologise to you... Do I even still have the right to apologise? But allow me to, please, I need to say how sorry I am that I had to leave you alone.

 I’m sorry for being so selfish. I’m sorry for putting myself before you, my little brother. I’m sorry that I won’t be there to see you graduate, to see you get married, to give you your first drink once you’re legal... God, I really will be missing out on so much. I just hope that by then you won’t be haunted by thoughts of me anymore.

 Jimin, are you crying as you’re reading this? Please don’t cry. I know it’s horribly selfish of me, but I don’t regret the choices I made. I think you’re old enough to understand — if you don’t, you will someday. You’ll learn that I did what I had to.

 The choice I made, the decision I took, there’s a reason and the reason has never meant to hurt you. It’s just that I’ve suffered way too much to go on. I have no strength anymore. I can’t take all this pain any longer.

 I know you, mum and dad love me very much but I simply can’t go on. Every single day is torture for me. I really can’t... I’m weak, I can’t fight back and the only way to escape this torment is to leave for good.

 Jimin, life’s so difficult. I’ve suffered a lot and you will too, the only difference being that I’m weak and you aren’t. I believe you’re strong. I know you are. No matter what happens I know that you’ll make it through — you’ll be okay. There’s a good side to life that you just need to discover and explore; unfortunately I’m not strong enough to even try to find that side anymore.

 Just don’t be like me. Don’t ever be like me. You have so much laid out in front of you, you have to be strong. Fight. Most importantly, do what you want to do. Be who you are.

 Also, you have to always remember that everything happens for a reason. Everything, whether it’s good or bad, has a purpose. You just need to look for that purpose and trust me, things will be alright in the end.

 It’s funny that I’m giving you advice on life when I’ve given up on mine... But just listen to me, okay? I don’t want you to end up like me, I really don’t. All the things I’m telling you are things that I’ve told myself, yet I can’t continue. But I know that you can, I know you’re brave. Please, be strong for me, oh? Please, please, please... don’t be like me. I beg you. Don’t be the weakling I was.

 Again, I’m sorry. I know you’re going to be really successful. Make me proud, I’ll always be watching you.

 I love you most. I love you more than anything in this universe. Send my apologies to mum and dad, tell them to forgive me. I hope you forgive me too, my brother.

 We’ll meet again. In the meantime, don’t forget me, got it?

 Your big brother, Park Dongmin.

July, 2013

 Jimin closed his eyes. He started counting to three. In three seconds, he’d be in their cozy living room, enjoying the start of summer break. In three seconds, all the bad things he had to go through the past two days would turn out to be a dream. A really, really bad dream. In three seconds, everything would be alright again.

 One... his brother would be rushing in from the living room, arms full of snacks for the night’s baseball game.

 Two... his brother would be excitedly predicting the game’s results, proposing a bet and being totally confident his favourite team would win.

 Three... his brother would be there, by his side, smiling and laughing and being happy.

 Jimin slowly opened his eyes, sniffling as his vision began to blur. He gulped; nothing had changed. He was still in the room where his brother’s portrait stood between plates of food on a long table, where his mother was sobbing and his father was trying to console her while hiding tears of his own. He was still in the room that had the smell of death and sorrow, the room that reminded him it wasn’t just a bad dream.

  It was reality. Dongmin was gone.

  And Jimin didn’t know what to do.