Jaebum P.O.V:

We had finished practice so all decided to came here and eat and so as we are waiting I had saw my cousin hye-in (OC) here so I went to go talk to here because I missed her, "I will be back" I informed the guys I got up from my seat and went to go talk to her. She had not seen me yet so I decided to scare her because I know how easily scared she gets, I started to walk close to her. She was preparing to leave so I wanted to at least say hi and talk "boo" I whispered in her ear and she jumps letting out a tiny squeak she turns around and hits me on the arm "aish you punk don't you know how to respect your elders" I laughed "sorry nonna" I couldn't stop laughing "you pabo" she started laughing herself. "I see you never changed" she messed up my hair "you either" shooting her hand away from my precious hair "you are such a girl" she started to laugh, I scoffed at her remark, I just glare at her. As we are talking I can feel someone staring at me intensely it felt like someone was burning holes in the back of my head, it was jinyoung, I could sense it was him who else would it be? I mean the only person it could be was him right. I knew that jinyoung was still in love with me but I need jinyoung to move on, but do I want him too, aish what are you talking jaebum you don't care so get your head out of the gutter I cursed myself for think such thoughts.

I was brought back into the world when I felt someone plow their way through to get out of the building, I looked at the person with a pissed off look but it was jinyoung and my feature had softened, he left and I had an inkling to why. I just want jinyoung to be happy but I know it can't be with me because of our past I had hurt him because I was afraid to love him but now everything has changed and I don't think we can go back and move on with us. I told nonna goodbye so I could back to the boys but where did jinyoung go? Probably back to the dorms so I didn't worry as much, so we all ate and decided to call it a night because of how exhausted we are and we are human after all, I just hope jinyoung is okay, "do you know what happened with jinyoung" I pulled back youngjae "I have no idea hyung he just got mad and left for reasons I have no idea" I will confront him when we get home "okay thanks kid" I pat his back and we catch up with the rest  so we can all go home it has been a long day.

Back at the dorm:

"jinyoung" mark calls out "jinyoung" he calls again "why isn't this kid responding" he whined  "maybe he fell asleep and he is very tired to wake up" Jackson spoke sarcastically "why so sassy today" mark retorted "because my so called boyfriend has been ignoring me all day" he pouted "really jacks" mark went to go console his lover "I am going to check on him" I left the room to go see jinyoung, I knock on his door, "jinyoung" I open the door to see his room empty that is odd because no one was in the restroom so where could this kid be "guys he isn't here" I called out "what do you mean" bambam came up behind me "oh " I put my hand over my heart and he just laughed "ash you punk you scared me" I hit him on the head softly again all he did was laugh Jesus this kid. "I will call him" jackson offered and I just nod my head "he didn't answer "call again" I urged him and he did as he was told but again nothing "where could he be" I mumbled "I don't know maybe I don't know you should check find my iPhone" jackson has been sassy all day “watch it" I told him and he just held his hands up in surrender but did as he instructed we waited a little for his location "okay found him lets go" I tell everyone.

At the club: 

We are outside the place that jinyoung is currently in "Exodus night club" jackson spoke "I did not peg him for a guy to go to a club when he is angry “he spoke again but all I wanted was to find jinyoung and leave so we go to the doors and get stop by the bouncer at the door "are you on the list" he eyed us and I knew what he wanted so we gave him money and he let us through. It was loud and hot but it didn't matter. what mattered was that we need to find jinyoung and get out but there is so many people so how can we find him because the app it only tells us his location not exactly his exact spot so this was going to be a challenge to find him "okay everyone we split up an look for him and we all meet here at the bar" I instruct them “we don’t leave until we find him" yugyeoum taps my shoulder "do you all underst-" yug interrupted   "hyung I think I found him" he spins me around to see him but he wasn't alone. I felt my heart clench but why? I don't live jinyoung that way anymore "who the are those guys" I growl "those guys are knk" who I looked at jackson confused "they are a new rooky group" his voice in a duh tone "again watch it wang"  wasn't in the mood for his sassy tone "someone’s jealous" he said it in a sing-a-song way "No I am not I just want to go home" trying not to prove jacksons words to be real but my heart was saying otherwise, I see them walk up the stairs, my fist clenches in anger when I see one grabbing him by the waist and all he does is smile at the bastard *authors voice: Watch you tone JB that is my bias inseong you are talking about* *sorry author-nim* I mean that guy*A/V: better JB*  I had to control my anger because that bas- guy has his arm around his waist. They got closer to the bar "Another round" the shortest guy shouts over the blaring music as they stop at the counter "No one is getting another anything" I was furious "JB nice to see you" jinyoung smile innocently "Don't play dumb Jr" I wasn't in the mood to play games but I knew jinyoung was stubborn "you can't tell me what to do Jb I am not a ing dog" he seethed  "Hyungs please calm down" yugyeum confronted us "shut up yugyeum" simultaneously We said it at the same time "please don't take out your frustration yug" youngjae spoke up but his words feel upon deaf ears "how did you even find me anyways" I could tell he was starting to get annoyed "it is called find my phone that thing that app on the iPhone" my inner jackson sassiness appeared I blame jackson.

he turns around back to them "it is okay jinyoungie" the tallest member spoke and how I wanted to beat him up *A/V: Watch yourself Im that is my bias group also VIXX either way watch it!!!* I mean have a chat but my mouth had its own plans   "who the hell are these guys" maybe I’m jealous. "sorry again for JB childish act" he apologizes to them and they all just nod understandingly "please Jinyoung come back home" I pleads, I didn't care anymore about my pride I just wanted him to come back. "How about hell no see you later guys, go home" he spoke harshly towards us, I felt hurt but I had no right. I couldn't help it I still love him no matter how much I want to pretend like I don't but I do, he turns away again, I was mad at this and he grab one of the guy’s hands to dance but to hell if I was going to let that happen I grab jinyoungs wrist.

"Sorry about this but I am taking my boyfriend home" jinyoung looks at me in shock because of the term I used and now he was pissed "you are not my boyfriend anymore and you made that pretty clear after we broke up" I can see the hurt in his eyes, before he can get another word out I lifted him up bridal style "sorry had to cut the party short" referring to the knk members but they understood. "Let go of me" he shouts but he quickly gives up because of how intoxicated and tired he is "no Jinyoung" I pull him closer to my chest and we finally leave this god-awful place.

"You don't even care about me anymore" I can tell he is crying “you forgot about me a long time ago, why now" I sits him in the car right next to me while the rest try to mind their own business "I need to know Jaebum" he moves closer to me interlocking our fingers together. "Now you do not want to speak to me again... Gosh you are such a coward" I didn't know what to say or where to begin but I knew that I still love him that had never changed. he tries to let go of my hand but I don' t let go he just pulls and I still don't give up so for the rest of the ride home we just sit there in silence.

We finally make it back thank God "everyone go up except for me and Jr" I demand and everyone complied "are we seriously having this conversation now" he looks at me with disbelief “you have wanted to talk Jinyoung and now you are trying to avoid me" my anger taking control "no I am not trying to avoid it; it is because I am done trying to talk to you" I will admit it is my fault. "Well I am ready to talk" I could tell he was furious now "you are so insufferable JB" he bitterly chuckles “you are such an what did I do to you..." I could tell that he need to he needed to speak so I just listen "was it terrible to be with me JB or even be my friend? Did you find someone new and couldn't tell me? Because all the time you introduced me to anyone I wasn't Jinyoung your boyfriend, no I was just your friend or someone you worked with..." never jinyoung no one could take his place "jinyoung" he interrupted me “do not Jinyoung me JB at first I understood that you were not ready to come out but then after a while you started to treat as though I was just another person not your boyfriend, day by day I was slowly being replaced by other people you did not need me anymore." the tears were following down his cheeks like a stream of a river "I need you JB and you weren't there you are never there; but every time you called I would rush to be by your side. But I am sick of everything it is like white noise with you. I do not get it what happened?" I didn’t know that made me feel even more like a jackass "also what the hell was that at the club, Why I was having a good time and they were nice you didn't have to be mean" I was far from pissed "when I was about to go off with Jihun, what was that saying you are my boyfriend it clearly took a long time to say that I am yours and we aren't even together" I hate myself for making him cry so much "Why" I could tell he was more mad then sad.

"I feared other people's judgement and what they would say, I couldn't admit to others or myself even when we were dating that I liked guys." he couldn't hold back the sobs anymore "I was in love with you JB. I felt so cheap and used when you told me you didn't really love me and you didn't give me the curtsy of telling me in person you are such an " he started hitting my arm I deserved it  "I am sorry" I had no right to apologize now "don't you think it is too late for that JB all you do is constantly hurt me" he such a prick "seeing you with that girl and with so many others hurt it really did hurt, what is worse is that you didn't care" he just wanted to leave at this point. "I honestly didn't know Jinyoung but after seeing you dance today with those guys and yes we got there earlier when you were dancing with those guys all of them, I saw you and it hurt a lot knowing that you were smiling and enjoying it. What hurt more is that it wasn't me making you laugh or happy, I was jealous of them seeing you holding one of their hands or them touching you" he looked up to see me staring at him "to know you wanted to stay with them made me angry because if I had left you could have ended up going back with them and done more than sleep with one of them" I felt hurt but I had no right  "I miss you Jinyoung" I leaned in closer but he moved away from me.

"You were my everything JB but all I was to you was your toy" he cried harder "I was never more than good time behind closed doors" he was more than that "no" I screamed "you are lying..." I cut him off when he started to talk and I knew from the first word that he saw what I thought he would never see.

"Place your hand in mine and I will show you the world, do not fear if you're with me. Stay and you will know the secrets to the wonder of beauty and love, if your hand in mine. just stay for now because if you're here there are no limits to the possibilities of love and all the wonders of the world. for you are now a part of the only wonders of my world. who needs six when I have you, for I will never know hunger of the touch of another. I do not need physically things but the feel of your hand in mine because that is how I know you are here and that you are real, that I am not dreaming because if this is a dream I will never want to wake because knowing that you are not next to me when I wake up. It is like I lost the sun to my earth, the stars to my night or even the light house to my ship. If you want me to stay I will be there, you have my heart and my soul. Now do you believe me or am I still a pawn in your silly little game of fun, just another toy that you could play with until you are bored of me because you know that every time I say I am down, I will always come back to you because I love you but you don't seem to care because you don't feel the same about me. so, it is fun for you to use this against me to mock me and I am done! Though the sad undeniable truth is that my heart only yearns for you and only you, so for the sake of sympathy or even humor me and put your hand in mine, because I am done with running away from life, I am done caring what other people think or even that one day we will all become a vague memory of what used to be. I just need the now. I just need you. Now do you understand!" he can't believe I read my journal.

"why did you read my journal" he was angry but not totally "a few days ago, I went to go check on you but you were asleep and you were hanging off your bed so I went to tuck you in properly and then I found it there. I'm sorry" I hung my head in shame "what you wrote also helped me figure out a lot of things Jr but it wasn't until tonight that I actually wanted to fight for your love." I could tell he wanted to forgive me so badly but I knew I wasn't getting off the hook that easily "please give me another chance" I knew he was skeptical.

he kisses my cheek and whisper "maybe" before he pushed his way out of the car.