A/N: I'm so sorry this update took so long! I'm currently tackling a pretty major writer's block and everything I've written - including this chapter - just doesn't sound good to me at all. Also I'm splitting this chapter into two parts since there's a lot of content I'd like to fit in and I don't want to post something that's like 12k words lmao.. Aaaah this chapter really isn't that good. I'm so sorry, the next one will be better, I promise! ><

Certainly, he had made a mistake, and yet none so much that he expected to be forgiven. The past half year was spent exerting his limbs, of aching all over and running halfway across the country without so much as a second glance towards the home in which he came from.

In which he’d ran from.

Jung Jaehyun was always running, filled to the very brim with an insatiable desire to avoid anything and everything that might have pried some sort of emotional response from his otherwise indifferent facade and Lee Taeyong was the epitome of it all.

The epitome of everything he did not want to need, but needed all the while. A figure in which tore at him emotionally, yearned only to encourage him to no longer be a closed book, not to skim through his pages but to invest time into every last line, to read in-between them and to somehow embed himself into the life of someone that had for so long thought he was utterly alone.

Misunderstood, better yet. Jaehyun had forgotten how it felt to feel - There wasn’t any other way to put it. Somehow he’d recently found an odd likeness for Donghyuck’s quirky attitude and Doyoung’s maternal tendencies but only because he realised that he might have been cared for.

Sometimes- If not, most of the time - the laughter he gave and the smiles he wrought were forced, or presented only because he thought it was appropriate. Nakamoto Yuta hadn’t ever been so correct other than the time that he denounced Jaehyun, that he let it settle in that the Panthers’ tallest was in fact so overwhelmingly apathetic he might have been insane.

To be honest- Jaehyun hadn’t a clue what he was any more, only that while his life was stale and lacklustre that anything was better than the misery of where he’d come from. Where he’d ran from.

But he knew what he was looking for- At least, he did tonight.

Upon closing his eyes only to open them again, Jaehyun was not met with the rhythmic rumble of a pulsing strobe light, rather the overbearing stark white of a brightly lit room while said strobe lay dormant and unused on an opposing wall. He blinked once, as though somehow he hoped this would alter the dark recesses of his own mind and the fresh change to an otherwise rather hazy, musk-tinted room.

Jaehyun inhaled deeply, thickly; The air was coarse, his throat felt as though he had swallowed a handful of sandpaper.

The sand- Jaehyun blinked again. For the first time he saw it, saw the the deep mauve shade of the tattered blankets and the grim hints of a pattern that’d worn with constant use. More frighteningly he saw the sand, the menace of a reminder that his mindset had never quite been as solidified as people might have believed and tonight it was.. Overwhelming. Though it was a struggle to decide whether he was overwhelmed by the mass pooling at his feet as he swung his legs routinely over that dishevelled coven of fabric, or the fact that he could lay those tired eyes upon the physical representation of anxieties he had never been able to express.

Anxieties he had never wanted to. Anxieties he should have, but had always stowed away from the forefront whenever someone had tried to coax him into some sort of sentimental conversation.

Jaehyun swallowed hard; Now his throat stung, tightened, left a dull ache crawling along his sternum in wake of the turmoil that came alongside never having the boldness to vocalise his thoughts and concerns.

The only person that had ever gotten so close as to hear something genuine from the miserable athlete was the same person he had set out to find.

No- Not a person. A Wolf.

Lee Taeyong.

There’d been a moment as he’d bolted, as he’d exerted those slender legs relentlessly and taken himself through the foyer where sleep had been an objective he did not want to fulfill. Jaehyun was reluctantly set on avoiding it all, on stowing away from descending into slumber lest he confront the person he’d likely just ruined everything with.

But then- What was ‘everything’? Jaehyun’s fear of relations withheld him from any sort of emotional commitment, but Taeyong made his stomach toss and his heart palpitate unhealthily and while he’d denied his attraction for so long he could not ignore it. That something, call it a selfless red string of fate or an unspoken gratitude for one another’s understanding kept reeling him back in hook, line and sinker.

Ensnared in a web he did not want to be; Jaehyun could run from his past forever, but he could not outrun Taeyong.

The light almost deterred him, though Jaehyun would recall that their rendezvous area beyond that doorway at the end of the hall was always pooling eerily with a light source that did not exist. Maybe this was it- The light had just moved. Maybe it was doing so tauntingly, as though to remind him that his chest swelled with guilt and his mind yearned for no more than a confrontation to apologise.

Yet Jaehyun would not apologise. He had almost satiated a want for physicality he did not know he had.. And he should not have had at all. That and why on Earth should he apologise when running away from anything remotely emotional was something he’d been doing for as long as he could remember?

For as long as he had been ‘Jaehyun’. A second was spent thinking of his birthname and the person he had been.. Jaehyun twitched. He wove through the room, bare feet smoothing unhappily against the abundance of sand though the masses thinned the closer he’d gotten to the now eerily dark doorway.

The darkest it had been since--

Jaehyun did not hesitate. He wrapped his fingers around the handle and eased it open, shed light into an otherwise pitch black room while his expression fell grim towards the contents.

Nothing.. No one.

He was not here.

Supposing he would be after what Jaehyun had done. Though it still left an unimaginably painful twang in the Panthers’ chest as his gloomily dulling eyes fell upon the sparse emptiness of a room that, at the very least, always had that one notably tattered leather couch in the corner.

Something irked him to take a second step beyond the doorway. There wasn’t anything there at all but he hadn’t a choice on whether he slept dreamless or not. He supposed, in the gloomiest sort of way, an ideal punishment would be isolation in an empty room.

And so he’d taken a seat, slumped against one wall and eyed the cast of his shadow upon the other.

It’d take another hour- or so he thought, though at this point his acknowledgement of time was terribly jarred - until a sound stirred him and his eyes found a silhouette looming in the doorway.

Jaehyun’s throat tightened; Taeyong looked into the room pensively. He wanted to stand but he didn’t. He want to speak but no sentences he managed to concoct were even remotely legible but it was alright- Taeyong spoke first and foremost, tore through the sound barrier with those wonderfully thick, tender octaves but the underlying aggression to them stirred Jaehyun in a way he did not like.

Today he seemed to be submitting a lot.. Only to him. Only to Taeyong; Even Yuta’s harsh accusations and childish provocations were far undermined in regards to Taeyong and those eyes that pooled with the colours that did not exist.

He was strikingly beautiful beneath the stark white light seeping through the hallway, no matter how exhausted he might have looked.

Those thoughts swam in the forefront of his mind now; Jaehyun made no effort to stop them.

“I didn’t want to come here tonight.” Taeyong listed his weight against the doorway and the two met eyes. Jaehun swallowed the swelling lump in his throat. “But I didn’t have a choice I.. Couldn’t keep my eyes open.” A bitter chuckle and Taeyong quickly demurred any and all responses Jaehyun might have given. He moved to card a set of long, slender fingers through his hair and for a moment he dithered.

He was nervous- They both were.

How.. Odd.

“Worst thing is that I thought that maybe I’d feel a little less like an idiot if I didn’t sleep.” Taeyong lodged his tongue between his teeth while Jaehyun hoped to ignore that the words tore away at his resolve in a way he’d never, ever been subjected to before.

It had, for a fleeting moment, reminded him of how thoroughly depreciated he was by a mother that saw him not as a human being, but as a toy. A doll. A pretty little thing to care little for but demand control from.

He pushed the thought aside quickly- He had ran to forget, not for Taeyong to somehow remind him of what he had been.

“You didn’t have to come here.” Jaehyun spoke passively, opposing his thunderous heart. He dared not move from where he sat.

“No I didn’t.. But that’s not the point.” Taeyong’s expression was equally as unreadable- Jaehyun had never noticed it until now, but all other times that they had met he had been able to read Taeyong like a book, but in that moment he hadn’t a clue what he was feeling. “The point is that I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me either, because you’ve done it before. Shut me out of this place- So when I realised that you were letting me in I took my chances and turned up. Not that I know why- Not that I think you’d know why you let me in either-”

“Taeyong-” Jaehyun’s tone was notably assertive, intrusive, something in which he meant only to hinder Taeyong’s rambling lest the Wolf make him feel any more miserable about his endless list of mistakes. He the material of his shirt habitually. “The only thing I know is.. What I was so frightened of.”

Taehyung gave a noise, something akin to a scoff and Jaehyun’s nerves were rekindled in some sort of whirlwind inferno. “Right.” He said, “That I’m being too forward?”

“That you’re making me feel.”

An enormous bout of silence overcame them, and while Taeyong’s hardened exterior when it came to presenting himself as a credited Captain and one of the most notorious athletes among the Indigo Wolves drew along a cool, collected attitude it had only taken Jaehyun but a single genuine confession for the boy to soften. His hardy expression grew less unreadable by the second, though he had not said anything.

He had, however, began to approach Jaehyun through the gloam, looking almost ethereal with that stark light illuminating his back.

Utterly beautiful.. And utterly terrifying.

“I’m not the person you probably want me to be.” Jaehyun added solemnly, inwardly a nervous wreck as he swallowed hard and clutched the hem of his shirt so tightly his knuckles had started to ache.

“No..” Taeyong dismissed quickly, “You’re the person I want to understand.”

Jaehyun gave a bitter noise of disbelief, a wavered breath followed by eyes that would not look up to Taeyong any more. “And I don’t understand you..” He told him, “..How you’re still tolerating me. All I do is run and I don’t think I’ll ever change.”

That was hard.. To come to terms with. His insatiable want for avoidance, his constant running away and removing emotional ties. Jaehyun wanted to live as normal people would, and yet the circumstances spoke otherwise and now he was frontlining for a halfway-house team with teammates that reminded him that he was inwardly an absolute mess.

What would normal people do when they’re sad? Jaehyun questioned it for a moment; He personally disregarded the fact that he might not have been alone. Isolated himself on purpose and ran.

“If one day of embarrassment was enough to drive me away from you I’d probably pity myself.” Taeyong took a seat beside him. When their knees touched he did not falter, but then, neither did his racing heart. “Sure, I was angry. Angry at myself for thinking you’d let me be so forward and angrier that you’d shut me out when I finally saw something more than Mister Misery but.. I know you.”

Jaehyun looked to Taeyong as did Taeyong look to him. The two were quiet for a moment, and after contemplating the truth behind the Captain’s words Jaehyun quickly regressed into denial. He was a closed book. He had to be- It was the only way to survive. “You don’t know a thing.”

“I know what you’ve shown me- Told me.” Taeyong drew upon a sigh and in turn listed his head against the wall. Jaehyun could not see much through the gloam, but he could feel, and his pulse heightened when those wonderfully calloused fingers met the skin of his cheek. “And I told you earlier.. I’m selfish. Selfish when it comes to you at least, and maybe you pissed me off today and I don’t really want to be here talking to you but how ing pathetic would it be if I gave up when I’d gotten so close.”

Jaehyun could not deny it- Deny that. Hell, he’d even angered himself with his regressive behaviour and so Taeyong reminding him that he was an apathetic idiot did none so much as satisfy his need to be depreciated. It was all he was used to, anyway.

But he was not used to this; To the touches that set his skin alight, to the way that Taeyong’s fingers made him feel.

The pad of Taeyong’s thumb over his cheekbone. Jaehyun leaned into the touch willingly save for a slight, tentative breath.

“Not to mention I’d be defeating the object of it all if I did.”

For the longest time, they were silent. So silent it was almost blissful, and eerily relaxing. If not for his bundled nerves and thunderous heart, Jaehyun might have unwound in that moment and revealed unto Taeyong everything that he was.

Everything that he had been hiding.

Instead he blinked a little, somehow finding the boldness to hold the other’s strong gaze. “What do you mean?” He asked stupidly.

And Taeyong did look at him as though he were a little stupid, but still not in a way that was any less endearing than the smile he finally offered, the ray of sunshine on Jaehyun’s rainy afternoon that he had been waiting all night to see.

Taeyong bolstered the confidence to thread those slender, calloused fingers through Jaehyun’s dark locks, rousing them some while his nails etched against the late teen’s scalp in the most delightful way. “Well.. You know that a dog will chase a cat, and it won’t stop until it catches it, right?”

While those thick, chocolatey octaves worked wonders in enticing Jaehyun’s sole devotion, he could not ignore how he was not avoiding the touch, and continued to remain vigilant, but silently encouraging of it all. “I guess.”

“I won’t stop until I catch you.”

Taeyong’s smile had vanished, but the warmth of his easy attitude seemed to fill the room and for a moment it felt a little less empty than before. Jaehyun answered passively, once again ignoring the rigorous beating of a heart that spoke louder than he did. “I think I believe you.”

There it was again; A moment of silence. But this was spent looking into each other’s eyes in the most disgustingly understanding way, and if he had not known any better Jaehyun would anticipate something more than his hair being played with.

“If it’s any consolation.. You seem a little different lately. A good kind of different.” The Wolf reverted to a more solemn, but very blatantly sincere tone, and after a second spent his thumb along the expanse of Jaehyun’s lower lip those fingers left the Panther’s hot skin at an absolute wanton loss. “But I wasn’t kidding.. You really pissed me off today and I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Jaehyun wet his lips habitually, and it had taken a moment to acknowledge how strikingly emotional Taeyong made him before he answered with a quiet, guilty, “I wouldn’t either.”

“We’ll be at the match- Me and Mark.” Within seconds Taeyong was starting for that door, and leaving Jaehyun alone much like everyone else. He spared him one final glance and a lazy, excusable roll of the shoulders before seeing himself off with a, “Let's not talk until then.”

Jaehyun sat back; Deflated. Whatever the feeling was, the way his chest ached wantonly for something more than a brush of curious fingers or the wandering eyes that he stared into for a little too long.. It was still frightening, but not as frightening as it had been. He was coming to understand it now.. It was the understanding that petrified him the most.

The understanding that Lee Taeyong was creating all the emotional ties he did not want, but most certainly needed. That Lee Taeyong stirred him mind, body and soul in a way that no one ever had and that Lee Taeyong was making him want to do something he never thought he would again.

Taeyong was making him want to feel.

---

Combating the loneliness had never been difficult; Jaehyun was by now far used to being alone in somewhat of a recluse, in fact he’d gotten so used to the lack of legitimate company that he almost enjoyed it, living alone and working alone and.. Being alone.

But there was something to his attitude that had changed recently, a more truer side to him, those characteristics he had hidden for so long were making an effort to be seen and he wondered if he’d be able to remain passive and indifferent for much longer. It was frightening, even- How this past month had encouraged him to unwind, and he was little by little unravelling not into Jaehyun, not into this facade he had created but into Jung Yoon Oh, the boy he truly was and the same person he tried so very hard to hide.

Jaehyun’s weight was listed against the counter, fingers knit around the edge in a vice clutch and eyes pensively staring upon the contents of the cupboards.

He clicked his tongue; The pay he’d earned that month was a little more than usual, and so he’d spent the money with his interests as a glutton at heart and bought something more than instant noodles and microwavable food. Sure- he could still toss the food in the microwave, though it wouldn’t necessarily taste as good.

That and he needed an opportunity to rekindle his culinary prowess - Jaehyun’s unwinding attitude meant that he was regarding personal talents prior to him becoming a runaway striker for a halfway-house team, and his exceptional cooking was one of them.

Actually- Nevermind. The thought was stupid; He was not reminding himself that Jung Yoon Oh was not all a mindless puppet controlled by a condescending mother, he simply wanted to treat himself to a healthy dinner considering his typical diet threatened to push him over that edge of being credibly unhealthy.

Besides, Jaehyun plainly refused to regard who he used to be. Sure, he’d unwillingly admit that Lee Taeyong was encouraging him to act like the boy he’d kept hidden for so long, but that did not mean that he was the same person.

No- He’d never be that person again.

A knock sounded on the door; His heart flinched and so did he, mind scrambling to recover from it’s descent into it’s dark recesses while Jaehyun’s stiffened shoulders and uninviting attitude wormed their way to the forefront immediately.

This’d be the first knock he’d ever gotten past four o’clock - that was the latest his post had ever arrived, and Jaehyun gave his address out to no one - and to say the light rattle of knuckles against the doorframe was unsettling would be an understatement.

Needing some sort of noise lest he grow silent upon seeing whomever it was that had set his nerves ablaze and turned his heart into a jack-hammer, Jaehyun switched the television on as he passed through the lounge and to the front door.

A set of shaken, dithering fingers carded through his hair and he hoped that, whomever it was, would not regard the fact that he wasn’t dressed to impress- Not that he dressed to impress anyone at all. Not any more.

Not since he’d ran away from all that.

His hair, while now roused by his own fingers was terribly dishevelled in a way that some might find attractive, while others would consider it the bed-head of an absolute slob. He personally disregarded both outlooks, his bare feet soundless as they met the discoloured laminate and fingers deftly smoothing the wrinkles in his large, grey sweater until they met the hem of his loose navy shorts. Jaehyun was dressed to lounge alone, but he thanked himself for choosing tonight to lounge in something with long sleeves rather than his usual vest.

Sure, he always kept the lights dim and the postman had never been curious to ask why he made a point to cover his arms, but he could not risk the chances in case it was--

Jaehyun faltered, fingers knit around the door-handle. He swallowed hard.

In case it was someone he knew.

And of course it was- Of course, because who else clammers their knuckles to timidly against a door in the middle of the night than the Panthers’ very own Little Cub? Kim Donghyuck stood there in the flesh, looking up to Jaehyun wondrously with big, curious eyes and a slight smile by means of greeting.

Considering who it was he needn’t give Jaehyun a full explanation- The striker took a moment to invite him inside, and Donghyuck shut the door behind himself before slipping out of his dirtied trainers and marvelling at the large space before him.

“Woah - You live here alone?”

“Yeah.”

“And you bought all this furniture yourself? What are you- Some secret rich kid?”

Jaehyun twitched, ignoring the way that he could not pass off his very obvious shudder. “I rented the place already furnished. Managed to talk the landlord into a cheap deal.”

Donghyuck was still in his kit save for the guards, helmet and racquet, wads of thick, dark bangs clinging to his forehead in matted clumps while his sun-kissed cheeks were tinged with the slightest shade of rose and the tiredness in his eyes was far more obvious than he likely wanted it to be.

Likewise did he seem to disregard Jaehyun’s tentative response to the accusation, meeting eyes with the late teen as though to ask for permittance to walk a little further than the doorway to which said late teen nodded. It wasn’t like he could a finger towards the door and demand Donghyuck leave.

Because- Well, it was Donghyuck. Maybe if it’d been Yuta or Ten his mind and mouth would have been stirred more angrily but in this instance he was more interested - and consequently unnerved - by the fact that Donghyuck had discovered where he lived.

“Doyoung and I were getting a little worried about you. You keep skipping practise and stuff.” Donghyuck offered politely as he meandered into the lounge and fixed his eyes on the television; Jaehyun, meanwhile, hoped to ignore the way his chest warmed at the very thought that people showed genuine concern for his welfare.

It was likely only because he was a necessity to their team, and with the legitimate Preliminaries tomorrow him skipping practice would not do them any good.

Neither would Jaehyun find any sort of solace in a place where Yuta’s incessant accusations and Ten’s teasing were regular happenings, especially when he’d spent these last few days wandering his lonely little dreamland.. Well, alone.

It’d taken him a few nights of isolation to realise just how much Taeyong’s company affected his slumber.

Somehow, he slept easy when he knew there’d be someone waiting for him.

“Yeah I.. It’s been a rough week.” Jaehyun held no likeness for an actual apology, after all he was only avoiding turning up because there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind that insisted he’d receive nothing but disapproving looks from the Panthers’ Captain and their youngest after running away like he did. “I’m sorry, really. But I’ll be there tomorrow.”

“Doyoung would kill you if you weren’t.” Donghyuck looked to him with an expression that drew upon being frighteningly serious. And then he frowned some more, therefore whisking away any and all of Jaehyun’s discomforts. “He’s uh.. Not getting any better.”

“Still a regular punching bag?” Jaehyun opted not to be phased by the news; Doyoung had been appearing with bruises, blemishes and a whole manner of indecisive marks that seemed to worsen on the regular. Whoever’s frustration he was on the receiving end of- They were relentless.

“Maybe he’s just getting into fights or something.” Donghyuck defended, and as Jaehyun took again into the kitchen he was now followed by the likes of someone he hadn’t expected to ever be setting foot in his home at all.

“Doyoung’s too nice to throw punches.. I think.”

In fact, he hadn’t expected anyone to set foot in this place other than himself.

He busied his thoughts with rummaging the cupboards again.

Donghyuck came to join him, and the two fell into an exaggerated silence for the longest time, maybe trying to pry some sort of break in conversation from each other while also failing miserably at it. The Cub, of course, was the first to lose his nerve. He sighed dramatically and threw his elbows upon the counter, his chin in his palms.

“It’s just frustrating that he won’t admit to himself that something is wrong.” He said, “It’s like the guy takes the hits on purpose.”

Jaehyun blinked, looking at him as though he were an idiot alongside an alarming sense of deja vu. “Haven’t we had this conversation?” He queried, one hand sifting blindly across a shelf in the hopes of prying out something good. “He probably does do it on purpose. If he told us anything he wouldn’t be a part of the Panthers.”

“Yeah I know but--”

“But what- Are you going to interrogate him for answers?” Jaehyun asked as he recoiled, empty handed and interested instead in the cheap coffee machine he’d bought a month ago. The thing was temperamental but the coffee wasn’t all bad. “Donghyuck I admire how concerned this makes you, and sure I guess I’m a little worried too but.. Will reminding him that the bruises are there make him feel comfortable enough to open up about it?”

“I guess not.”

Jaehyun worked at the buttons on said temperamental machine, speaking only when the contents of an espresso sachet began to pour noisily into a patterned mug.  Of course while he would not vocalise it he worried for Doyoung, found that he somehow grew accustomed to the Captain’s maternal tendencies and to see him roughened up and reluctant to confess why was.. Troublesome, to say the least.

A thought had struck him then- Jaehyun pivoted on his heels, met eyes with Donghyuck whom almost seem to cower at the opposing side of the room. The late teen spoke assertively, and that twang of concern left his voice as quickly as it had come into fruition. “You need to tell me why you’re here.” He told him. “How you found out my address.”

Donghyuck fumbled with the hem of his shirt uncomfortably; There was something attentive about the way those wondrous eyes danced around the kitchen and it rattled Jaehyun to the core. “Well I just.. I went into the Coach’s office and looked into your file I--”

Jaehyun did not let him finish; He’d darted across the room like a body of water, taken Donghyuck’s shoulder in a vice clutch and shoved him aggressively against the counter. Oddly reminded of his anguished encounter with Yuta, but also with the more emotive encounter with Taeyong, Jaehyun had nearly softened and loosened his grip entirely. But then the more convincing side of his sudden bout of anxiety told him that Donghyuck had overstepped his boundaries, that he’d gone skimming pages that he shouldn’t have and--

A closed book. Jaehyun was a closed book.

He had to be.

Donghyuck made a shrill noise of disdain and fastened his eyes shut as though he were anticipating a hit, but the clatter of knuckles to his sun-kissed jaw never came and those wondrous - and now consequently teary - eyes peeled open.

Jaehyun gave him a hard shove; The younger of the two whimpered a little, but that incredible apathy left Jaehyun feeling anything but remorseful. “I swear if you ing read anything-”

“I didn’t-- I-I swear I didn’t!” Donghyuck’s tone wobbled, sounding utterly frightened of a side to Jaehyun he’d likely never witnessed beyond the more rough-and-tumble disputes the striker had had with Nakamoto Yuta.

Jaehyun seethed; His nerves were alight. Everything was in that file- From his job status to his health status to why he’d ran from his home and the home that he had come from-

Donghyuck could never know. Not even Taeyong knew- Jaehyun would never tell anyone. He did not even want to know himself. “You’re lying.” He hissed through grit teeth. It wasn’t consoling at all, but he needed to hear Donghyuck’s pleas a second time just to be remotely convinced that he hadn’t read a thing.

“Hyung please- I’m not lying, why would I read anything?”

“Why not?”

An exasperated sigh and Donghyuck wriggled in his grasp, grew defiant and shot him a cool look alongside a formidable frown. “It’s your privacy!” He spoke, tone filled with obstinance and expressing a little bit of character Jaehyun had never seen before. “I-I can respect that I can-”

It was not the comfort he’d sought for, but it was enough. Jaehyun shoved away from the other and took again to his freshly made espresso. The swig he’d taken was large and left a slight sting in his throat, but nothing was quite as harsh as his condescending, “If you respected me at all you would not be a part of this team.”

A silence fell over them then, and it was not entirely unexpected. Jaehyun’s nerves were alight and he’d likely frightened Donghyuck out of his wits but in hindsight his privacy was exactly that; Private. Donghyuck held no leverage to read his files simply because he wanted to ‘see if Jaehyun was okay’ and Jaehyun found his retaliation to be totally justified.

Though he did feel a little guilty, and the way Donghyuck had started to quietly cower in the corner of the room was getting to him.

He swallowed hard.

“Have you eaten?”

Donghyuck looked to him as though Jaehyun showing any sort of resentment was totally alien.

To be quite honest; It was. He never did.

“I.. No, not yet.” Donghyuck’s cowardice seemed to dissipate as quickly as it had emerged, though it was likely because if Jaehyun were to show anyone something more than that severe apathy they’d be an idiot to take it for granted.

“Would you like to?”

Another bout of silence before Donghyuck dished out his phone, looking quizzical; He seemed to have a tremendous grasp on time, though Jaehyun had always figured that being a full time carer to a terminally ill mother came with it’s cons, and never having the time for socialising was one of them.

“You know I would if I could but..” Donghyuck’s features fell and if not for the fact that Jaehyun had seen that look before, his heart might have sank. “I don’t have the time.”

Jaehyun regressed into old, bad habits. He tore at hit bottom lip with his teeth only to soothe the singing wound with a flick of the tongue not moments later. For the most part he yearned to maintain his own little personal bubble but there was something to the fact that he’d been wandering his dreams alone these past few days that left a dull, mysterious ache in his chest.

Mysterious- Who was he kidding? Jaehyun would not vocalise it but that same ache was obvious.

He missed Taeyong. Missed wanting to feel.

“Can you make the time?” Jaehyun asked finally, “You go do what you have to- Leave your kit here or something. We can order in and you can stay over.. We could go to the match together.”

Donghyuck’s features lit up like a light-bulb and his pupils had never looked so blown. Not since he’d seen Mark in the flesh for the first time, but it felt somewhat good to Jaehyun knowing that a suggestion like socialising would have such an effect on someone else.

“You mean it?” Donghyuck asked; In total disbelief. “I thought you didn’t like being around people for too long.”

“I don’t.” Jaehyun shrugged, “But right now I could do with the company.”

Donghyuck’s grin was both formidable and understanding, and though it had taken a moment Jaehyun sported a slight smile himself, watching as the Cub took to his phone again and then scampered out of the kitchen and to the front door.

“Give me a couple hours I- I’ll be right back.” The voice called as Jaehyun settled lethargically back against the counter. “And when I get back you better tell me why you ditched us the other night, you selfish bastard!”

Donghyuck had swung the door shut before Jaehyun could retaliate at all, but the tone was teasing and Jaehyun gave a slight roll of the eyes as he thought on how he’d describe his near-submission to Taeyong when Donghyuck returned.

A couple hours; He could combat the loneliness until then.