He's following a boy he just saw that seems to wear a deadly sadness with him. Deadly indeed Hansol thinks as he watches the boy heading towards a rooftop climbing the edge and exploring it, hands spread like a bird’s wings. He continues to watch the boy, he's surprised the boy still hasn't caught on his presence, too drown in his own sorrowfulness.

The boy is shorter than Hansol, probably younger as well, he has raven messy hair, dressed baggy and he has multiple pierces in his ears. He almost loses balance but regains posture, as if debating whether to jump or not, then fixates a spot and measures the deepness with his eyes. Hansol inches closer, he won't let someone die in front of his eyes, he can't let anyone die if he's honest, he won't. 

"Aren't you scared?" Hansol finally breaks the boy's thoughts. The boy startles but turns his face around, and Hansol finally manages to see his full face. He's pretty, even if his face is dirty, traced down with rivers of dried tears. "Love issues?" Hansol asks again, the boy now puts his head down letting out the saddest laugh Hansol's ever heard. 

"Is it or, isn't it..." the boy finally speaks, in a heavy accent, Hansol wouldn't have guessed, maybe the boy is not Korean, Hansol can't really tell, the boy's eyes are way to swollen as if he cried continuously for months.  "Would you want to let it out before you jump? I could hear you out," Hansol says and the boy huffs the sad laugh again "Ya gonna convince me not to jump?" He goes again on the same messy accent, Hansol barely caught on due grammar errors in the boy's sentence. "Not really, if you want to jump you'll jump anyway, but I just followed you here and I would like to know, why a young man wants to commit suicide?" 

Hansol spoke before thinking, this is definitely not what you're supposed to speak to someone that just wants to end their life, the boy looks as if he is debating with himself and Hansol feels the need to speak again "I mean, what do you have to lose at this moment if you tell me, who knows, maybe you do change your mind." Hansol sits down on the edge and he forces himself not to look down. 


The building is huge, he can barely look down from behind the edge, while the other boy stands on the edge and walks around it as if walking on safe ground. He turns his head, the other boy stops and turns to face Hansol "There's no way back, there's no way out," he mutters in English and Hansol can understand, just that he can't really speak, nor he never tried to speak in English before, now he finds himself angry with for never really trying to put an effort into English for the first time in his life. 

"You know umm...how should I call you, what's your name, I'm Hansol," He says extending a hand for the other boy to shake "What does even matter my name now..." the boy pauses and Hansol his head to the side smiling for reassurance.

"...they cal-l me Te-Ten." Ten gulps, looking away from Hansol now, Hansol drags his hand and pulls his collar up to bury his chin in it and then puts his hands into his pockets, October weather forcing him to seek for a bit of warmth. "You know Ten, everything can be fixed, besides death, and wanting to die because someone disappointed you is wrong, so wrong," Hansol says after a short moment of silence. Hansol doesn't even know the reason the boy is up here, but he guessed right, he wants to die, but he wants to know what pushed Ten on the edge. 

He doesn't know Ten, he shouldn't care, but he felt drawn towards the boy since he spotted him on the street, and he followed like a faithful dog all the way up here, he thinks he deserves to know at least. Ten is dressed way too improper for this weather, in a pair of training trousers, a hoodie and a pair of sneakers, they look dirty and if you watch closely you can see small holes poking here and there. 

"Look, I came from Thailand, my Korean is very sloppy, and you seem so nice and my heart is so heavy." Ten sighs loudly, twice then continues, hand pressed on his chest squeezing on the left side of his chest ”Will you understand if I speak English?" Hansol nods, and Ten sits down on the edge looking below him, legs dangling on the street side of the building, below them all the agitation of the city shows, lots of people all over the streets, lots of cars going various directions, all of them stopping only when the red light shows. Ten turns his head towards Hansol which is facing the street with his back, crouched due to the cold. 

Ten huffs and sighs a lot, then he his lips to wet them, the weather is windy and cloudy, just like the younger’s mood "I have nowhere left to go, I have nothing left, to be honest, I've lost it all, I know you might think I want to put an end to my life because of love, but it's not like that, at all." He says searching for Hansol's reaction, which widened his eyes a bit and nodded for Ten to go on, Ten looks up to the sky, as if it was the only thing that could put him at ease now. 

"You know, I left my country to come here to pursue a dream, it wasn't anything settled, my family made so many sacrifices to support this...fantasy of mine, and I was so stubborn and unconscious to allow them to do it,” he grips his head with his hands and nervously drags his fingers along his face in a nervous manner  “and I flew here, I was going to start from the bottom, I had money for food and for a place to stay, I fought for it, searched for a crew, underground breakdance is huge here, you must know, but they didn't want me there because I can't speak Korean, I could barely speak then." His eyes dart, his tears start to fall, but his face doesn't crinkle as if already too used to this pain, but somehow the fluids inside his body could still stream down from his eyes and nose. 

"I got into a crew hardly after 6 months, they treat me li-like I was worthy for a while, I-I really thought that was it, I gave my all in there, brainstormed all my ideas for choreographies, th-they said we have to raise money for our outfits since a competition was coming, the prize was money, the prize is always money in the underground because this is how you survive, I gave my rent money, the next day the basement was empty, so ing empty as if it was all a dream as if everything happened just in my head." Now his face contorts in pain and Hansol inches closer, but not too close.

"I slept for two weeks in a park, I found soon a part time job, illegal, I took it, I needed money, I searched for other crew, failure after failure, I started thinking that maybe this was not made for me, I got cast but police found me and arrested me for illegal working, I've spent 4 days in jail, it's horror...” he shakes his head and more tears fall as he squints his eyes “I return to the crew but they kick my for letting them down," He looks at Hansol who is almost crying, he wipes his tears away, Ten continues "now I have a record, no one will hire me, I tried to get into a homeless shelter and I got beaten again, I sleep above a hot water pipe because, the place reeks and it’s full of rats, I can't get money not even to go back home, I can't reach for my family, I will never be a breaker, I have nothing. I kept falling and falling, now I want to fall and hit the ground hard enough to never be able to rise, I have no reason to live anymore."

Hansol's skin is all bumps at Ten's last words, he doesn't know how to react "How old are you Ten?" He asks jerking his hand back and forth as if wanting to pat the other on the shoulder for a bit of comfort. "I was supposed to be 19 this February" Ten says checking the ground again, feet dangling purposefully. Hansol thinks he's only two years younger, yet too young to die. 

"Stop talking about you on past tense," Hansol says past-tense in English, afraid the other doesn't know this in Korean "Ten, I want to negotiate with you for your life." Ten looks his way genuinely surprised and caught off guard "Why would you, you don't even know me, why would you care?" he scoffs in disbelief. 

"You know, if we are telling stories then can I tell you one?" Ten shrugs "I have nothing to lose, right?" Hansol inches closer this time he sits at an arm length from Ten, now if Ten would want to jump, he would definitely catch him, he won't let Ten die, he's decided. 

"I had a sister, she was here too." Hansol says "On this rooftop?" Ten asks "No, at the bottom low, because she thought she couldn't live without the love of her life." Hansol feels now a heavy pun on his chest, remembering all this is too hard for him.

"How did she get over it?" Ten asks and Hansol wants to think that he wants to catch even the thinnest string to keep him alive. "She didn't, never could, she threw herself, there were many people gathered there." He looks up in the sky "Were you there with her?" Ten says studying Hansol’s profile. 

"No, not when it happened, but she was downcast when she left home, I always felt like I could do more as a brother, yet I was too busy playing video games, I thought it's just a phase, it struck me when she never returned home." Ten gulps watching below him again "Is this why you try to save me?" Hansol grips his waist slowly so that he won't startle Ten, he can afford any mistake and have Ten dead by his fault.

"Now if you fall, I fall, and I still think I don't want to die." Ten looks into Hansol's eyes "Then let me go because I want it." he puts a hand on Hansol’s hand "Are you sure?" Hansol tightens his grip on Ten as if putting himself on guard for anything. 

“You can't convince me, it's too late for me, if I meet your sister I'll tell her your regret and that you are a great man." He says trying to make Hansol loosen his grip “Ten, do you have any regrets?” The taller won’t give up on Ten, Ten laughs and Hansol thinks that this might be closer to Ten’s real laugh, and wishes he could’ve seen his face just now, but he can’t face Ten anymore due to their position “Maybe that I wasn’t a good son and brother, goodbye Hansol, thank you for listening to me.” Ten jerks in Hansol’s grip and Hansol moves using all his strength.

They float in the air, and Hansol doesn’t know on which side they fell until they meet the ground “Just let me die!” Ten screams voice awfully cracking when they reach the rooftop floor.

Hansol twirls his limbs around Ten so that he won’t go, a hand grips Ten’s neck, another secures Ten by the waist and his legs are crossed around the younger’s “Whywhywhy do you even care? No one gave a about me, not the lady that hosted me nor those who fed me even though I paid them, not the crew members even though I gave my all to them, not the policemen when they found out I am a minor, not even the ones at the homeless shelter where unfortunate people go.” Ten cries hitting Hansol’s sides so that the other will let him go, but Hansol can hear the younger’s heart beat and he knows.


Ten is scared of death, Ten is afraid to die.




Somehow he manages to drag Ten into his house, the other not stopping on his crying all the way here and Hansol never letting go of his hand.

“It’s not big, and I don’t own a proper bed, but I can share it with you, just stay here.” Hansol shows Ten around the house, the place is damn crowded even for one person, Ten shakes his head continuously that he can’t stay.

Hansol’s left his natal town after his sister committed suicide, he took his backpack and told his parents that he can’t live there anymore as guilt will haunt him forever, he was in high school when he came up for Seoul, he repeated the last year because it was hard for him to support himself all along, he found this place perfect, small, easy to maintain, now he is going to university and supports himself from a part time job. 

There’s a small shower and an even smaller kitchen attached to a bedroom, the place is well kept by Hansol, is so neat and organized, that induces a more spacious place than it actually is.

After long debates with Ten over how Hansol wouldn’t mind at all giving a hand to Ten, making the younger actually accept his offer even though not moving an inch away from his door, the elder searches through his closet for a clean towel and some clothes for Ten, then he shoves him into the shower, while heading to the kitchen to make some food, thinking that it must be ages since Ten had a proper meal. “Don’t you dare cut your wrists, I am dead scared of ghosts, I told you, I don’t want to die this young” he shouts towards the shower and hears the other’s growl, but he kept calling Ten’s name from the outside to make sure he still responds.




It strikes him when he goes to bed, what he just did, how he persuade a complete stranger and how he fought for the younger’s life as if it was his own, he was completely unconscious for letting him into his house and promise so much to him, what if he was just a creep, what if he was going to kill Hansol. His thoughts are interrupted by Ten “If you regret this, you can tell me to leave now, the being honest session is not close, I guess.” but he pretends to sleep, he won’t let himself regret this, Ten doesn’t look maleficent.  

Hansol promised Ten he’ll help him raise money for the younger to go back to his family in Thailand, looking through airlines companies for tickets to Bangkok, Ten kept asking him what’s the reason he’s willing to do so much for a complete stranger, there must be something he wants in return, like his body or so