Picking up one of the many pictures and studying it for a while you noticed how happy both you and Jungkook looked. You were sitting on his lap his arms tightly around your waist and his head resting on your shoulder,you where both staring at the camera. You where sporting a playful poker face while he was looking at the camera with a cute eye smile. You felt a pang in your heart, a constant reminder that he was no longer with you. Taking a lighter out of your pocket your eyes never leaving the picture,you held it up high and lit it up watching as it was consumed into flames both your faces distorting into nothingness.The ashes carried out by the wind dancing gracefully in the air as if trying to mock you. 

Turning back to the box that you had placed on the floor you proceeded do the same.And soon every single picture,letter,along with everything Jungkook had ever given to you was now on fire. As you stared into the flames you couldn't help but feel numb.Silent tears poured down your face as you walked towards the edge of the rooftop taking in the scenery. You started crying harder and harder making it hard for you to breath your insides were burning, you felt how your lungs constricted as your breath hitched with every intake of breath. You closed your eyes wanting nothing else but to forget about the big eyed boy with the rabbit smile. You wished you'd never met him, maybe then you could spare yourself from all this grief you were going through. At least that's what you told yourself, but deep within you you knew that these thoughts were all nothing but lies. You'd go through it all over again if it mean you could be by his side, even for a few seconds. Just a couple of seconds was that too much too ask?

     Trying to control yourself you closed your eyes focusing on nothing but your uneven heartbeat. Soon your breathing became less erratic, tears ceased to fall, memories began to fade and as you opened them again you could feel the numbness and undeniable anger take over your body. Your thoughts where filled with nothing but his face. "Paboya",you told yourself as you punched your chest a sorrowful chucle leaving your lips.Why had he done it?  You couldn't make sense of it ,how could the person who had made you the most happy manage to make you feel the greatest pain?. Quite ironic wasn't it? You had been going through so much pain and grief, and although you never showed it it was killing you on the inside. Ever since news of Jungkook's suicide broke out you hadn't stopped feeling miserable,but most of all angry.You weren't sure if the anger you felt was directed towards him or yourself.These raging thoughts made you wonder if what you had really meant something to him.Was it not enough to stop him from committing such act?

You felt angry at the fact that you never saw it coming,were you really that stupid and selfish that you had failed to notice any of the signs? Signs.... there were no signs ,not that you recalled. Even the BTS members had a hard time coming up with any themselves. What had happened to make Jungkook take such actions. The last time you saw him you noticed that he was acting clinckier than usual, but you had ignored it thinking that he had just missed you .You still remember the last conversation you both had along with the way he had leaned over to you and whispered "i love you" just before he had planted a kiss in your jaw."i cant wait for spring to come, this winter has lasted a bit too much for my likeing" he had said. After that day no mesages where received you didnt think much of it  thinking that he was probably busy, that assumption however was quickly gone once Jin had called you asking if Jungkook had slept over at your place the members couldnt get in contact with him and they had no idea where he had gone.The events that followed still haunt your mind.He hadn't answered any of your worried calls and messages hadnt even left a letter, not a goodbye no explanation. How could he do this to you? How could he do this to s,to his family.If you love someone you don't make them go through such pain, you don't just decide that it's over, because no matter how hard you want to end it you have to keep fighting and realize that there's people out there who love and care for you. People who need you, people who rely on you.

You were always supportive and tried to be there for him despite your busy schedule. You were both idols so it was a bit hard, but you guys always made time for each other.You faced timed daily and communication was a vital part of your relationship,at least you thought it was up until a few days ago.You attended each other's concerts,and visited each other during schedules when either of you was free.You had debuted three years before him,and were now apart of one of the top 5 most successful girl groups.Your relationship was kept a secret and only your families,group members and managers knew about it,so no one expected you to be as affected by the death of "The Golden maknae".

They couldn't have been more wrong. But they didn't know that you and Jungkook had been in a relationship for more than 4 years, or the fact that you guys knew each other since pre debut. After everything you still loved him and you knew it would take time to heal that big hole in your heart.Your thoughts were suddenly interrupted as you heard someone yelling "(Y/N) don't do it!" You felt yourself suddenly being pulled away from the edge as your back came into contact against a hard cold surface.Taehyung held you in a tight embrace as he whispered in your ear "Please don't do it" You felt a wet spot on your neck as you felt him sobbing against you. He held on to you for a while before you turned around and hugged him burying your face on his neck his scent having a soothing effect on yourself. looking up at him you saw his expression turn into a more calm one,but you could tell that the sight of you being so close to the edge had affected him greatly.He's such an idiot, you thought to yourself." its not what it looks like" you said.

As your eyes met his you noticed the slightest red shade take over his cheeks and as he looked down you felt something stir within you.His eyes then traveled back to the side spotting what was left of the box and as he said,"I'm here for you....you know we're all here for you." "This doesn't change anything between you and the rest of us." You gave him a small smile before grabbing his cold hands and blowing on them to warm them up.You broke the silence as you replied "I know.... and I appreciate you looking out for me, but next time at least put a coat on,it's the middle of winter" You looked up at him to see that he was already looking at you.You reached up and wiped his tears before taking off your scarf and wrapping it around his neck ."Let's go before you catch a cold"you said, Taehuyng followed after you. He had seen you walking up the stairs going into the rooftop,and thinking the worst he quietly followed you.He couldn't bare the thought of someone close to him leaving his side, not again.He knew you were having a hard time despite you making a good job at hiding it. He hated seeing you keeping quiet, and although he knew you were strong, he also knew that loosing someone as suddenly as you had, specially someone you greatly loved would have a negative impact on both your mental and physical health.

He had always admired you for being such a successful and multitalented person, the way you didn't let your success change who you were.You kept yourself grounded and always looked for ways to improve yourself. He admitted it he had always had a crush on you even before Jungkook had told the members that you guys were dating.He was disappointed,but couldn't help but be happy every time he saw how happy his friend made you.He always kept his feelings to himself and knew better than to confess, specially now after loosing one of his best friends and your now dead boyfriend. For now all he could do was to be there for you even tho he himself was going thorough a hard time.Taehyung couldn't help but wonder how things would have turned out if only he had been the one to have met you first. There was no use thinking about these things for his heart felt heavy at the mere thought of having lost his chances with you.His thoughts were interrupted when you suddenly stopped. He was about to ask what was wrong but you interrupted him by saying "We'll get through this.....I promise" "we're not the only ones hurting" Taehyung smiled at you as he procedeed to tighten the scarf around his neck."Araso"