I knew she was dangerous, I've know from the moment she stepped into the office. She walked in and the whole room stared. She commanded attention from everyone, everyone except me. She thought she could tempt me, and at first I was impervious. I had all I needed waiting for me at home. The man I've grown with for so long, who loved me unconditionally. He made me feel untouchable. I admit she's a cunning woman, but I saw thru her tricks. The late nights claiming that she needed to catch up to me when she had already finished her work and then some. The early morning meetings that she'd schedule, the coffee runs, and the dinner "meetings." I wasn't blind to your antics, I knew she wanted me. I don't know how it happened, but slowly I started playing into her games. When did I start to fall? 

Sunday mornings are the best because he and I can curl in bed till noon and he'll gently trace the contours of my face as I lazily kiss his hands. He's got such tiny hands but I love them. I place our hands together and the rings we both adorn make my heart fill with joy and guilt. I try not to think about her; it's our time but thoughts of her slowly creep in. I wonder what she does on Sunday's. I need to get her out of my head, so I kiss him slowly. I start from the top of his head and slowly leave a trail of kisses all over his face before I reach his lips. I love his lips, they're cute and remind me of his turtles. They taste like how Sunday mornings are supposed to be, perfect. 

I wonder what her lips would taste like. I stop, did I really just think that way? When I have someone so beautiful, so amazing, so right in front of me that I'd dare think of another. What kind of man am I? You look at me, confusion in your eyes and I can't help but feel guilty. I want to erase her all the more, so I smile and kiss him again. And again, until we're making music. It's my favorite duet, but what if it becomes a solo? 

Monday's, I hate Monday's because it means I'm back in the office with her. Today seems different, today she's not here. My coworkers tell me that she's home with the flu. My boss makes me go to her place, I want to protest but I need the designs for the project we're working on. Begrudgingly I head over after work. She opens the door surprised to see me, I don't want to go in, but I do. 

Even with a cold she still looks beautiful, and my heart feels funny. She offers me something to drink as I wait for her to get the designs. Her apartment is meticulously clean, it feels like it should be in one of those Martha Stewart magazines. She comes back and hands me the things I need. I give her a brief thank you and I head for the door. I feel her arms snake around my waist and my breathing stops momentarily. I hear the words "Don't go" and words almost fail me. His face pops into my head and unclench her hands. I face her and as I'm about to tell her that I'm already in love with someone else she kisses me. My mind goes blank, her lips taste like peppermint and I'm trapped. 

Regret has never tasted so bitter, my stomach feels like it's on fire and I'm suffocating. I quickly get up to leave, and she calls after me. Don't turn around, if I turn around I might make more regrets. I call in sick to work and head home. Five missed calls and ten texts, all of which compose of "where are you?" "I love you" "Come home safely." 

Home; that's what he was..is supposed to be to me. He's my Sunday morning, my chocolate chip pancakes, my everything. What have I done? I open the door and he's just sitting at the table hands clutching his favorite mug. I can tell he waited all night for me, he's dozing off at the table. I walk I to the kitchen and he shoots up. Guilt gurgles at the pit of my stomach and I hug him. I apologize and claim that I was at work all night. With innocent smiles he tells me it's okay, and to just call next time. I almost want to cry, how could I have betrayed such a beautiful soul? We stay in bed all day. What will become of tomorrow? 

The next day, I try my best to avoid you like the plague. You're not dumb, and so you manage to trap me in the elevator. I tell you that there's already someone else in my heart and that what happened between us was a mistake. She's not as angry as I thought she'd be. She's hurt which is to be expected, she asks for compensation in the form of dinner. I oblige because I truly felt guilty. 

I should've turned around and went home, why did I agree to have dinner at her place? She opens the door, she's still in work attire which is a relief. Dinner went surprisingly well, we kept it professional. She had a phone call, I wonder if it's another lover. Why do I even care? She comes back and my world shatters, clad in nothing but lingerie. It becomes increasingly tight down there and I know I need to leave. She approaches like a cougar on the  prowl. I feel like a gazelle about to devoured by her. She notices how tight my pants have gotten and smiles. She knows there's an attraction between us and I need to go. She pounces and like a spell I'm trapped. 

Weeks go by and further dig myself into a deeper hole. Coming home late every night, sometimes not coming home at all. Work is my same excuse, how long can I keep this up. I can tell he's breaking, I know he knows. I want so badly to stop this twisted relationship I have with her, but she entrances me. She's a drug and I'm addicted. 

"Hey Kyu, let's break up."

Those words, I never though I'd hear them from him. I'm speechless. Slowly I look up from my plate and I see him crying. The weight of the world finally crashes down on me, and I can't breathe. He tells me that he knows I've been cheating on him for quite some time and that it's was okay because he loved me. He was the one that I'd come home to every night, but when I stopped coming home it stopped being okay. Words cannot express how I feel right now. He gets up and I immediately get up after him. The realization of what I'm about to lose hits me like a bullet train. I snake my arms around him waist and hold on to him for dear life, tears that I didn't know were there continuously soaked thru his shirt. We're both crying and I keep telling him that I'm sorry and that I love him. He breaks free of my hold and grabs his things, only then do I realize just how empty our shared room is. When did he begin to move out? He glides past me effortlessly because I'm still in shock at the emptiness of our room. I run back out and clutch on to him, don't go. I need you. He hugs me, and I breathe him in again. He lets go, kisses me, and then bolts out the door. 

I run after him but he hops into someone else's car and I can't keep up. I wonder who that was. I go back inside to look for my cell, I see his ring on the kitchen table and I break. I look around the apartment and notice that he took all of his belongings. There's not even the smallest trace of him anywhere. At least I still have her, right? 

The next morning, I arrive to work early than usual. I need to see her, to talk to her. We have a morning meeting and which my whole world stops once again. She's congratulated for accepting the job in China. China! When the meeting's over I grab her wrist and ask her what the hell's going on. She looks at me, not taken aback at all. Calmly she tells me that she's leaving, she got accepted at branch in China and that she's moving up in the corporate world. She's says that I should be happy for her, but I'm not. I scream, I tell her that I lost everything for her. She smiles, says she doesn't care, and that I was just something to pass the time. How could she be so cruel?  

I run out of the office, and I drive. I drive to no where, I'm lost in too many thoughts. Everything I had is now gone. What's left for me? I unconditionally end up at the beach, he loved the beach. In a lot of ways they were both like the ocean, he was the calm and comforting waves that lazily crashed along the shore. She, she was like a tsunami that left me drowning. I wish I could push back time, I wish I could forget. How badly I want to wash away these sins. 

The sea beckons me, shall I answer her call?