Am I just a fool? It's almost 3am and I'm lying awake waiting for you. I'm always waiting for you, but when you walk through the door with the scent of alcohol and something else, something I know that I shouldn't think about, I pretend that I'm asleep. You don't think I have a clue, but I know where you are right now. I've know for quite some time now; at first I didn't want to believe it. Was I so young and naive to think you were the one who came to take claim of this heart? It hurts, it's not fair when all I ever did was give you my all. While mine breaks every night, her heart you hold, it's funny but I guess my love wasn't enough to keep you home. 

It's now a quarter past 5, and you're still not here. My friends all know what you've been doing, they talk and talk and constantly tell me that you have been playing my heart like a grand piano. I try my best to ignore them, defend you with late night work excuses. They see through all my lies, and I see pity in their eyes. What did I do to deserve this? What do I still see in you? Maybe I'm still addicted to all the things you do. 

I wonder if she's beautiful, maybe even the sweetest thing you've ever seen. She's probably got the figure of one of those girls in magazines. Do you get butterflies every time she says your name? I bet you forget about the life with me you made. I must be the king of fools, to allow myself to still think that you're the one who came to take claim of this heart. I think, no I know that I should leave you. 

It's 6am and I finally decide to get out of bed, what's the point of laying around when I can't sleep. I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth, I shower with the water so hot my skin turns red. I want to scrub you off me. I want to erase you from my body, my mind, I'm going crazy. Tears start falling from my eyes and I can't hold them back, when did we become like this? Please come home Kyuhyun, I need you. I hop out of the shower and pick out my clothes for the day, I make the bed, and head to the kitchen. I don't have much of an appetite, but I make pancakes because they're you're favorite. Especially if they're chocolate chip. It's 8am when I hear the keys in the door. I try to hold myself together, as you walk inside. 

You enter the kitchen and kiss me on the forehead, "you're up early." You look at me with a smile on your face. Are you really looking at me or are you still thinking of her? You smell like soap and I almost break down, I cling tighter to the mug in my hands until my fingers turn white. "I made your favorite, you should have some breakfast." My voice is a bit shaky, but I doubt you noticed. You grab a large stack of pancakes and begin eating, you telling me more excuses as to why you're coming home late. I almost wish you'd stop lying to me, but if you did then I'd come face to face with the reality that you don't love me anymore. 

"Kyu, do you still love me?" You stop eating and look at me, calculating your answer and once again I'm left drowning. You give me the answer that I want to hear but not the one I need to hear. I don't think I can hold on to this much longer. I look at your chocolate smeared face and smile. You're so childish, but I'm so desperately in love with you. The words that come next shock the both of us, but I need to do this. I need to set us both free. 

"Hey Kyu, let's break up."