There is something about the way she looks at me.

It may sound greasy but it feels like I found peace in her beautiful eyes.

It make sense how I fell in love with those pair of eyes the first time they captured mine.

“So it’s this saturday, huh? Time sure flies by quicker than I thought.” I said with the smile I never gave anyone to. It was only limited for her only. I hope I didn't sound too pathetic with that.

It’s been nearly a year we haven’t seen each other, she never changed.

She’s still the girl I fell in love with back when I’m still in my younger years.

She’s still shorter than me by 1.8 centimeters and would hit me when I said it’s a small unnecessary detail.

She’s still have her beautiful wide smile that never failed to draw a similar one across my own.

She’s still the same Kim Yongsun.

She called me once she found out that I’m finally back to Korea for good. She was angry when I didn’t tell her anything, but I was planning for a surprise in which never happened. I barely have a single rest since I landed but it was fine because she was there with me. She was here with me and I think just looking at her smile would take away all my tiredness.

“How come it was so hard to contact you? I mean, ever since that night—“

“I lost my phone and things have been a lot busier since then.”

“So busy I’m not even crossing your mind for once?”

I put my hand on top of hers. She really never changed.

“It wasn’t like that. You know it better."

She’s starting to hold my hand and it fits so well. My hand in her hand.

“I would like to hang out more with you but you must be so tired and need rest, so let’s go to your place now.”

I’ve seen it coming though and I’m glad she could see how much I need a rest right now. Resting with her around would be a lot better, even the thought of sleeping in my bed with her on my side is making me smiling like an idiot. I couldn’t hold down the urge to . She makes it hard to not do that.

“Oohh, how come a hot girl like you would want to hang out at my place?”

“Y, yah!” She hit my arm, blushing and yet circling her arm around mine. “Not only you’re greasier, but now you’re more erted than ever—and wipe off that smile on your face!"

“After all those years, my yeba is still so easily embarrassed.”

I could see the blush on her cheeks.

Actually, I know she wasn’t embarrassed. She’s just don’t know how to react.

Which is really cute, by the way.

We took a cab. She keeps clinging onto my arm.

No, I’m not letting go either.

“Great,” From the tone, she sounded a little annoyed. “We should’ve eaten something before we went here.”

“No worries, I’ve ordered our favorite meals. It should arrive in around twenty minutes from now.”

I learned from what happened last year when she visited me a week before Christmas and my birthday. We hung out since morning, we had too much fun until we forgot our empty stomach. We just realized we missed lunch as well and that was a huge mistake. We’re too tired to go out, but we’re too starving to even rest. Those ramens I kept for emergency really did its job greatly in the end.

Exactly twenty minutes passed, my bell rank.

“Byulyi, it must be the food!” She yelled from inside the bathroom.

She really need to stop being cute.

“I know, just finish your shower first, yeba~” I rose up from the couch and head to the door.

The delivery guy eyed me a little weirdly, but he smiled as he told me the price I should pay him. I left the guy a tip for the smile not for the weird look. I locked the door and prepare everything on the table. Obviously, I was trying to impress that girl who is now probably changing in my room.

I wasn’t done preparing when I heard a click from my bedroom door.

My eyes locked with her beautiful figure.

Those curves were all in the right places.

She’s wearing my shirt, the oversized one and god, it fits her so well. All the way from her head to her toe. It’s not fair, it shouldn’t be fair for someone to look so good like she did. Maybe it should have been a crime. I was so captivated by her sight that I didn’t see my own hand pouring the sauce on my jeans.

“Byulyi, the sauce!”

That’s when I snapped and instantly cursed.

“Don’t curse.” She hit my arm before grabbing tissues to help the mess I made at myself. If seeing her from a few feet already making me so speechless, then seeing her up like this is taking my breath away.

She’s so perfect.

“Why did you choose this out of all other clothes I have in my closet?” I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. I could sense the unknwon atmosphere in the air, the nerves and even the . “Were you planning on seducing me, Kim Yongsun?”

I expected a pinch or a slap on my arm, but she flicked my forehead instead.

“First, stop with the greasiness, Moon Byulyi. Second, it’s the most comfortable, and you know you like it too so don’t try to deny it now.” She said, poking my nose as she finished.

Oh, liking it is an understatement.

“I love it though. It’s too hard to deny that you look incredibly y in it.”

And there’s the pinch I’ve been expecting.

“Like I said, you’re such a ert.”

Almost a year and yet I’m still this in love with her.

"At least I'm not an insane one like you." I finished it with my teasing wink. It never failed to make her blush like a tomato. I always love her reaction, every reaction she gave me is kept tight and secure inside my memory. No matter how mature she becomes, she's still the same girl.

She never failed to make me fall for her every single time I see her.

She never failed to make me smile.

The rest of the day went on smoothly as I would say. We ate our favourite foods together, we watched movies together, we did a lot of catching up with each other that we lost track of time. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, it shows: 19:46 and I knew my good day is coming to an end soon enough when she excused herself to pick up a call from someone. It must be important, I thought.

She came back with a smile on her face, but I don't like that smile.

It was the smile she use whenever she feels guilty about something. For one, there is nothing she should feel guilty about and for another, I knew she was just going to tell me that she needs to leave now. It was okay, I think, because there really isn't necessary for her to stay here longer and she basically have spent her entire day hanging out with me. So yeah, it should be okay.

I rose myself from the floor, facing her with my gentle smile. "Do you want me to take you there?"

She won't refuse, I know it that much. "That would be lovely." She said.

We can't stop telling each of our stories to one another during our little walk from my hotel to this place she needs to be. She said it was a restaurant, I did offer her to get a cab but she refused. She used the "I still want to talk more with you" kind of excuse and she should know it better than to beg me because I would always do things she wants me to do. It's like a "your wish is my command" thing.

Then we arrived at our destination. "Here it is." She whispered as she rubs her palms to create heat.

I took a step closer to her and wrap my hands around hers.

"You should get inside now." I told her and all she did was hug me there.

"Byul?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I see you again tomorrow?"

She has no idea I very much want to say that she can see me anytime she wishes to. I want to say she has all the right to see me and spend her time with me. I want her to do so, I want her to feel comfortable enough with me that she doesn't need to ask for permission to do such thing. She's that special to me. Does she know that? She smiles at me, of course she know. I was always this obvious around her.

I'm a horrible liar when it comes to my feelings. "I guess that should be my line."

She lets out a small chuckle and even something like that could make me smile. "Come fetch me at my house then. My family must want to see you too after all these years." Her family, yes, her family. I nods my head at her and making a small gesture, indirectly telling her to get inside already when I watched her shiver from the cold weather. "Go straight home and warm yourself too, okay?" Another nod and a smile.

Then she went inside.

I keep standing on the same spot outside the restaurant even when I could feel the raindrops little by little pouring down from the dark sky. I couldn't help my curiosity but I guess the saying 'curiosity killed the cat' really apply to my situation right now. I know it and yet here I am standing outside the restaurant, watching the girl I fell in love with having a dinner date with her fiance.

He's such a perfect guy and every girl would kill to be in her position right now. He's a doctor at one of the best hospitals in Seoul, he's a really nice guy, at least that's what I heard from Wheein.

Maybe my decision back then was a huge mistake and now I'm paying the price. Maybe I shouldn't have left her in the first place, but I did. She's been through a lot, especially when she lost her mother and I wasn't there for her. I wasn't on her side to comfort her. She said that's where her fiance came into the picture. He was there for her and he's always been around ever since. It was bound to happen for the two of them to go steady in a relationship.

He filled the empty space in her heart. The space where I used to fill.

With a heavy heart, I started taking one step after the other.

I knew coming back won't be a good idea, Hwasa warned me about it but I can't miss another special moment of hers. I have missed a lot and I have running away from her for too long. None of us were getting younger so I'm taking this chance, if this have to be the last one then so be it. I think I was too busy thinking about her that I didn't realize I was standing outside the hotel's lobby for nearly fifteen minutes now. It was when one worker approached me and asked if I'm okay or not - of course she's worried, I was literally drenched because of the rain. I gave the girl a smile before saying that everything is fine, then heading to my hotel room. I feel extremely tired but I couldn't let myself sleep.

Coming back to this country surely makes me remember those High School memories.

It was always been us four back then. Just us; Solar, Moonbyul, Wheein and Hwasa.

I let out a long sigh before I went to wash myself up, surely a hot bath will be a lot of help.

The bath was very refreshing and it would be heavenly to just go to sleep without having to change into proper clothes. I thought it was okay since I'm alone in this hotel room and that's why I only wear the bathrobe while laying on my stomach in bed, checking on my SNS or just browsing things to keep me distracted. I ended up chatting with Wheein and Hwasa in a group chatroom, Solar wasn't there because...reasons.

They told me about Eric's barchelor's party tomorrow - oh, right. I forgot to mention his name.

Solar didn't seem to take that much interest in talking about her fiance with me. I wonder if it has anything to do with what happened between us years ago. She didn't even tell me his real name, all I know is everyone calls him "Eric Nam" and I just follow what everyone else does. She didn't complain too, she never really start any conversation whenever it involves him. It kind of hurts me but I couldn't even blame any of us nor Eric himself.

I guess...there are still one or two things changed.

Just then, I received a phone call from Solar.

She told me she's been standing outside my hotel room. I didn't get to ask her why she's at my door when she's suppose to be with her fiance right now, doing whatever couple usually do after a nice romantic dinner. I received a text from Solar saying, "Stop thinking and open the door. I'm freezing here!"

I rushed to my door, opening it for her to come inside but she just stand there with a very visible blush across both of her fluffy cheeks. Then she raised her eyebrow at me, eyeing me from head to toe, she her lips. "You have to tell me honestly why are you dressing like that." Was all she said as she walks inside my hotel room, taking a comfortable seat on the couch and somehow trying to not look at me too much.

How cute, she's still embarrassed to these things. Honestly, I was feeling flustered myself when I realized I was still in my bathrobe. "Just wait, I'll go change." It was never long for me to dress myself up, unlike someone I know of course. When I'm back to the living room, she was already wrapped in a blanket, my blanket. I was going to ask her where did she get that, but then I noticed I left one luggage in the living room. She must have looked into that luggage. I shook my head as I made my way to take a seat next to her. Really, her habit of making herself at home was still there indeed. "Do you mind sharing it with me?"

She didn't say anything, just letting me sit next to her and allowing me to get under the same blanket. Such a nice nostalgic feeling, really.

"I just finished taking a bath if you're still wondering why I'm still in my bathrobe when you came."

She scoffed, "Don't lie, terrible liar. You hair isn't wet, you finished your bath probably thirty minutes before I came."

"I dried it before you came."

"I said don't lie, Moon Byulyi."

Her voice was soft and it was as if she's whispering.

"You know you can never lie to me."

I let out a chuckle to hide my nervous, "Yeah, you're right." As much as I want to ease down the tension, it was getting a little out of hand. I know she has something in her mind and that something gave me such a bad feeling right now. She must be here for a reason, not just for not occasion. She snuggles closer to me under the blanket, I gladly accepted her by holding her close to me while ignorning the slight pain inside my chest. "So why are you here? Missing me that much already?" I had to put a little tease in because she looks a little nervous.

She grab my hand and hold it close to her heart. "I just want to spend more time with you." I could hear how loud my heart is beating right now, my hand which she held close to her heart could literally feel how her heartbeat matches mine. It was as if I could see through what's in her head and I'm terrified of it. I'm terrified of what she has in her mind right at this moment as I hold her in my arms. "The time...it's not enough for me."

"Why...?"

In that moment, I quickly regret my slip-tongue. I know I shouldn't have asked 'why' to her, mostly not at times like this. It could lead to something I've always avoided through all those years I keep my feelings away from her. But tonight wasn't like those nights where I can easily brush off everything and walk away from it. Whatever happens right now, it could be our last moment together, this close. We both know it that much and she should know it hurts me just as much as it did to her.

She didn't say anything. She don't have to because I'm not stupid.

I'm no Einstein but I know a sign when I see one.

And I've seen much enough.

I know she loves me too.

But it was inevitable.

It was beautiful while it lasted, but that’s all about it.

There was nothing I can do, there was nothing she can do.

You know, if we were in another universe where you don't belong to anyone. This moment right now would be the perfect moment where I confess my love to you. The love I've been keeping from you for years and still counting. The moment when we say we're in love. It could be the moment where we have our first kiss too, but this is not a movie...nor a fantasy.

I know you can't come with me.

Because you got your life.

"He better be treating you right."