“You are brighter than the stars above, you light up the darkness of my life. What should I do if you were not by my side? I don’t even want to think about it” Taeyong told his husband as they were lying under the stars on their backyard. After having married for almost 6 years with a child, Taeyong and Ten spent their married life in pure bliss and happiness. A fairytale kind of story to begin with when a doctor fell in love with a painter, but we all know that fairytales have different kinds of endings.

“What Taeyong doesn’t know won’t hurt him right?” Ten would always tell their best friends Johnny and Yuta. Because Johnny and Yuta know, they have always been with Ten for so long that even the slightest hair out of place they’d know that something was wrong. The older sighed and watched as Ten kept another result from his monthly check-up. He has been doing this for half a year now. Johnny and Yuta had been so worried, Ten seems to grow weaker everyday but he had to keep everything within. Keep a happy façade that’s almost too suffocating to bear. “Ten…it’s getting worse. Please just tell him… Mark is too young to lose you. He’s barely 4 years old” Yuta’s hands were shaking; Ten only had his living days counted. As the doctor said, the longest he’ll live would be 3 years more. The younger looked at his hyungs, they were right though maybe he should tell Taeyong. “I…should get them ready for the worse” he uttered, “why don’t you just tell him now? The doctor offered a treatment but you rejected him. Taeyong, your husband is a ing doctor. Everything’s laid out for you and you kept on rejecting them, you could live longer…please Ten, think about Mark and Taeyong” Yuta was now crying, he didn’t know what to do. He wanted to save Ten, they both want to save their best friend but the younger would just smile at them. “I don’t want to prolong my life of suffering” he said then called his husband Taeyong about what they should have for dinner tonight. “Hyung, can we pass by Mark’s day care school?” Johnny just sighed; Ten would never listen to them as it has always been. “I…I need to see Hansol and Jaemin” Yuta stood up from the waiting chair and walked towards his car to get home to his husband and their son, the Japanese man would often do that every time Ten would have his check-up . “Let me drive you home” Johnny offered his hand to the smaller which he gladly took.

In a stormy night when Mark was already asleep, Taeyong was surprisingly home. He had no operations to conduct this day which was a relief.  He had always wanted to spend his free time with his family but for the past months he had been busy that’s  why he’s rarely home. The couple was sleeping soundly, with Taeyong’s arms around Ten securing the younger. Ten jolted awake and started coughing madly causing Taeyong to wake up as well; the younger ran towards the bathroom refusing to let his husband see him in such a state. “Ten, please open the door…please~” Taeyong was knocking at the door, voice laced with worry and concern. He really has no idea what was happening to his husband. He needs to know what is happening. He went back to their vanity table and rummaged through the bundle of keys; he quickly unlocked the door and saw his husband lying unconscious on the cold tiled-floor with blood on his mouth and on the sink as well. He quickly scooped the younger up and called Johnny telling him to come over to their house to watch over Mark while he brings Ten to the hospital. Taeyong was frantic but he had to focus on the road, he cursed himself so hard that time that he had almost caused an accident. “I’m a doctor for pete’s sake! Why didn’t I notice it before?” he had hit the car’s horn and kicked up the gas pedal to get to the hospital quickly.

“Doctor Lee? I thought we had asked you to rest at home?” Johnny’s boyfriend, Taeil who was a nurse at the hospital was shocked to see Taeyong there. “P-please…help me. Help Ten” he was shaking as he carried his husband inside. Taeil quickly did some action and placed Ten on the bed, he had called another doctor to check on the younger and the doctor quickly arrived to check. Taeyong had been pacing back and forth until… “appa!” Taeyong saw Johnny carrying Mark who had red and puffy eyes; the boy must have woken up due to all that commotion. “Mark…” Taeyong muttered and walked towards Johnny to get his son, Taeil looked at his boyfriend then towards Taeyong with sympathetic eyes. Taeil knows, Johnny told him. When Ten was transferred to a private room, Johnny asked Taeil to watch over Mark and Ten for a while.

Taeyong should know.

Both friends sat on one of the benches at the parking lot, Taeyong’s hands were quivering and Johnny was uneasy. He knows that Ten would get mad at him, but Taeyong deserves to know. He’s Ten’s husband after all. “What did you want to tell me Johnny?” the taller looked down feeling the lump on his throat, “we have always known, Taeyong” they both turned to look at Yuta who had red and puffy eyes just like Mark earlier. “Ten’s condition…we’ve always known. His…his living d-days are already numbered” Yuta started sobbing again as he was standing in front of Taeyong while Hansol was carrying their son watching Yuta from afar. “We told him to tell you, but…Ten is so stubborn. Please Taeyong save him” Yuta surprisingly knelt down, “please Taeyong…save your husband.” Everything became a blur for Taeyong right now; Yuta was kneeling in front of him begging him to save Ten. “H-how long has this…how long d-did he-“ his words were cut off as he started to cry as well, “it has been half a year already” Johnny replied in a hushed tone, “we asked him to take the treatment…he doesn’t want to. He wanted to spend his remaining happily with you and Mark without anything holding him down that’s why he had kept everything from you. Taeyong I’m sorry but please save him” Johnny also kneeled down beside Yuta. He didn’t know what to do. How should he feel? Ten kept his condition a secret from him; he doesn’t want to think of the possibilities that Ten is going to leave him. He loves Ten so much; he doesn’t know what to do when the younger would leave him. He might go crazy, he might probably kill himself.

Taeyong had taken a temporary leave from the hospital to take care of Ten. He’s always making sure that Ten is comfortable and that he’d take his meds on time. Since that night at the hospital, he had a strong resolve to cure his husband.

“Let’s go out and play in the snow, do you want that?” Taeyong watched his husband dress up their son in thick winter clothes, “we’ll go to Jaemin’s house so you two can play…Jisung’s coming too” Ten smiled widely. “Mark, go on and wait for us at the living room…I’ll take care of your mommy” the boy went down from his room and to the couch were Pororo was seen showing on their television. The older held his husband’s cold hand gently and kissed it before leading him inside their bedroom. “I’ll go get your clothes, just sit here” Taeyong quickly dashed inside their walk-in closet and picked out the most comfortable and warmest clothing for Ten to use. The younger easily got cold so he was being really careful. As he was buttoning the younger’s coat buttons, he took the time to examine Ten’s finger. He was getting thinner; he looked up and saw the younger’s pale skin. “Don’t worry…I’ll be okay” Ten smiled at him and his heart would ache every time he hears those spiteful words.

Lies.

You’re not okay.

Mark can be heard giggling from a little space inside Yuta and Hansol’s house where the couple made a small playroom for their son, Jaemin. Ten watched the kids fondly with Taeyong’s arms hooked around his waist; he rested his head on the older’s shoulder feeling his warmth. “I love you~” he whispered near Taeyong’s ear, he responded his small husband with a gentle peck on the lips. Taeil and Johnny sat beside the couple with their son Jisung on Johnny’s arms; Hansol served them some hot chocolate and a few snacks. “You guys…where are you going to spend the New Year?” Yuta asked, “since we’re done celebrating at our place last year and Ten and Taeyong’s place the year before that… I guess it’s time to wreck Johnny and Taeil’s place again” Hansol grinned causing Taeil to glare at them, “no one’s wrecking my house… I’ll make sure of that” he crossed his arms and Johnny just chuckled giving his boyfriend a peck on the forehead. “Let’s have a memorable New Year” they heard Ten say. Yuta looked at Hansol with glossy eyes and the older just hugged him tightly, “everything will be fine… Taeyong promised us” he whispered.

“Ten, drink your tea. It’s good for you” he heard Taeyong enter his work room where he was painting randomly, “just put it there honey, I’ll just finish this” Ten replied while doing a few brush on the painted canvass. “What are you painting?” the older was now standing beside him, “cherry blossoms” Taeyong smiled at the younger’s answer. “You always love cherry blossoms…let’s have a picnic when they bloom on spring” he suggested and Ten nodded, his smile never leaving his face. “We’ve been having so much family time than before…I love it so much” Ten spoke and stood up, Taeyong took the dirty paint brush and dipped it on the cup of water before helping Ten take off his apron. “Where’s Mark?” “Mom and dad wanted to spend time with him so they took him while you were here busily painting” the older replied. Ten nodded and made his way towards their bedroom, his steps were getting slow. He held onto the jar table that was placed in the hallway, his vision became blurry and the next thing he knew all he could see was black. Taeyong quickly rushed when he heard a loud thump from the hallway, he saw his husband lying unconscious and he knew better than to panic. He quickly brought his husband back to their room and started to do everything to bring Ten back from unconsciousness. To say that Taeyong was afraid is an understatement, he’s terrified. He wasn’t ready and never will he be. When Ten started to gain consciousness about half an hour later, he hugged the younger tightly. “I thought that I was g-going to lose you~ P-please don’t leave me… Please, Ten” the younger hugged him back and for the first time, Ten broke down. “I don’t want to leave you…and Mark…our Mark. P-please save me” the younger continued to sob. Taeyong held his husband’s hand and planted a soft kiss on it, “I will baby. I promise you.”

Ten had spent his Christmas and New Year in the hospital prior to their plans. The younger’s family came to Korea from Thailand as soon as they heard the news. Ten felt really sorry and he blames himself for everything. Taeyong personally tends to his husband’s needs and he’s back on duty, their friends would come and visit him and they would take turns to watch over him. Taeyong went inside Ten’s room and watch his husband and their son sleeping comfortable, the boy looked comfortable in his mother’s warmth. Ten’s condition hasn’t changed, every day it would get worse and Taeyong feared for that. The other doctor who had tended his husband previously had warned him but Taeyong was determined. All hell will break if he loses Ten. He won’t ever forgive himself if he won’t do anything to save him.

Winter was almost over and spring was about to come. Ten had been at home resting and his attacks became more frequent. He had lost so much blood and it scares him to death. When their child saw the blood on their sheets, Mark went out and ran to Taeyong who was preparing for their meal. Ten’s barely alive. Each day would be another day of suffering; his body keeps on rejecting the medications given to him. Taeyong would spend sleepless nights desperately looking for a cure; he’d do anything…everything to save Ten.

“The cherry blossoms that bloom prettily on spring…let’s watch them together” Ten spoke weakly but it was enough for everybody to hear. Everybody was with them in their house; they wanted to spend time with Ten who had stayed in bed ever since he was discharged. The atmosphere was heavy but nothing was heavier than the pain that Taeyong is feeling. Too afraid to even speak up, he just kissed Ten’s forehead.

“I feel like I’m cursed” he heard the younger say as he was resting his head on the older’s lap as they were watching the cherry blossoms bloom, they looked at each other’s eyes before the younger spoke again. “Maybe I’m too late…I should have saved myself before this. Now I’m suffering more than ever” he held Taeyong’s warm hands, “I have always thought that I never wanted to prolong my suffering…I had never thought that you’re suffering would be far longer than mine. My husband, I’m tired of this endless battle. I don’t think I can go on further. I have burdened you and Mark and our other friends so much and I don’t have anything to repay you for your kindness” Taeyong wanted to stay strong but his tears had betrayed him. With Ten’s trembling weak hands, he reached for Taeyong’s face and wiped his tears away, their friends who were watching them had their heads hung low. Ten’s other hand reached for Taeyong’s and intertwined their fingers together. “I love you forever and even in my afterlife. I will always watch you and Mark. If you ever be lonely just look at the sky, I’ll be the star the shines brightly above. Just like how the stars are constant up above, my love for you will be as constant as the stars. Take care of yourself; don’t do anything reckless… take care of Mark. Give him all of your love and attention” Taeyong hung his head low as fresh new tears started to fall. “I’ll take my rest now, my love. Let’s meet again” the sobs around them were getting louder, the hand that Taeyong was holding was now cold and lifeless. “Ten? Ten…Ten…please wake up Ten. Don’t leave me please” he started shaking the younger’s lifeless body. “Ten please wake up. Don’t joke like this… Ten you’re okay now right? Please…Ten p-please wake up” Taeyong cried and cried. He watched Ten’s body being taken away from him by Johnny and Hansol whose faces were tear-stricken. Nothing hurts more than not being able to save the person you love.

“Ten, it’s been a year since you left us but I never felt lonely. You made sure of that… I’m thankful for everything” he placed the bouquet of Ten’s favorite red roses on his grave. “I miss mommy~” Mark muttered as he hugged the cold stone where Ten’s name was written.  “I miss him too, Mark. So much” his father replied as he hugged his son and started talking to Ten about what has happened to them for the past month. The older would always visit Ten’s grave at least once or twice a month. At first it was difficult for him to move on, but after some thinking. He thought about Ten, how the younger wanted him to live normally with their child without grief. So he fixed himself up and started up a new life with just him, Mark and Ten’s memories.

The cherry blossoms that bloom in spring, under the pathway filled with those flowers that danced down. He met a young painter who brought positivity in his life and happiness. The person who filled his dark skies with stars and laughter. Taeyong would always remember that. “You’re irreplaceable…always remember that” he said while he walked on the same path where he had met the younger, where the cherry blossoms danced down and welcomed him just like how he had welcomed the younger years ago.