Bbh. Occasionally a vague amount of, maybe one or two, pastel yellow petals will gently drift from the basket of my baby blue bike. Decorating the concrete road, creating a trail of some sort. My hands grasp the handles of my bike, gently griping them as I head over slight bumps caused from roots of trees or maybe natural erosion. I've always been a nerd when it comes to things like this, I've loved geography for ages. Physics is my favourite subject by far, people reckon I come of as a maths geek too, but who enjoys maths when your teachers a moody ! My legs push with more force as the pedals of my bike spin round on a continuous cycle, speeding up every so often as I near my home. The walls are a cute kaki colour surrounded by white furniture, my parents are slight interior enthusiasts... Hence the great looking place. I stand my bike gently against the plastered walls and eagerly search for my keys in my black satchel, hanging loosely from my neck. After entering through the cream coloured door I come to an abrupt holt as I eye the several letters scattered underneath my feet, and only one caught my attention. I scooped all the dirtied papers up and sieved through them until I was met with the SM logo and one hell of a fancy signature. The other papers had dropped to the floor long ago and I had started to shake slightly as I flipped the letter over to tare it open. I slit the back of it with a knife and released the sheet of paper from its flimsy cage. There were many folds yet no crinkles, as if it had been ironed before being concealed. There was a strong tang to the paper, almost a vanilla sort of sent with a slight hint of lavender that seeps through the sheet. My stomach slowly began to churn as I unfolded the piece of scented paper. Its so funny how such an insignificant thing has such an important meaning.... As the paper became full the neat yet slanted writing came into view, I could've sworn even my sweat was sweating. Nerves took over and the paper began to vigorously shake in my grasp. Setting it aside I decided to gather myself. A tub of Ben and Jerry's cookie dough ice cream and a cup if hot tea, two sugars, was sat peacefully on the table beside me. I picked up the frail paper once again and began to read. SM ENTERTAINMENT! **/**/** Address: **, **** road, ****, korea To Mr.Byun Baek Hyun, We are overly happy about your audition! We would like to welcome you as the next idol in our currently 10 man group EXO! Your audition wowed us and if you do accept all terms and conditions we are pleased to let you know you will take a place as one of the lead vocalists in EXO K as we are splitting the group in half, one side promoting in China (EXO M) and one in Korea (EXO K). Your fans are to be known as EXO L's or some as EXOtics. You are one of two that will be training for only 8 months as there isn't much we believe we need to work with you on. The current leader of EXO K is Kim Jun Myun, also known as Suho. If there are any disagreements with the terms and conditions on the following piece of paper we advise you too meet us in person. Once again we are grateful for your audition, you did spectacular and we are excitedly awaiting your response. Kind regards, CEO:Kim Young-Min President and founder:Lee Soo-Man No words..... If my jaw was wide enough it sure as hell would hit the ground. The butterflies in my stomach instantly switched on and my anxiety started acting up, the nerves of preforming in front of thousands of people one day. Not to mention meeting the other members... What if they don't like me? What if they think I'm ugly? What if they don't accept the fact I'm gay? What if SM don't accept the fact I'm gay? WHAT IF I FALL IN LOVE WITH ONE OF THEM...? Several 'what ifs' ran through my mind continuously, I haven't had an anxiety attack since I was twelve, I'm now 19 and just as I was about to enter the most important phase of my life it decides to be a ! I chose to clear my head and reply in the morning, I don't want them seeing me in this state, what if they change their mind, I don't want that to happen! It could ruin me. My feet stumbled over each other continuously as I made my way up the stairs, not making any effort to remove my skinny yet ripped black jeans or my oversized lilac sweater. I reached my bedroom door and decided to call it a night. Mumbling incoherent words to myself I continued to draw back the covers of my peach sheets on my king sized bed, after doing so I draped the velvet black curtains along the window until they intertwined with each other. I shuffled back to my 'sleeping chamber' as mother once called it and slithered underneath the covers. I instantly grabbed my body length pillow, draping one arm over it and one arm under, squeezing it gently, then doing the same with both my legs. I'm smaller than my pillow... That's just because I'm small anyway, no doubt I'll be the smaller one in any relationship I have, I always have been. I started to wander, what if I do like one of the guys, what if they like me. I began to imagine what some of them look like, tall? Very masculine? Piercing brown orbs? And chocolatey looking yet velvety feeling hair? Or in one word....perfect. The image of a very femininely beautiful man circles my head, that's the way I drift off to sleep. This ways different, no tear stains, no loud sobs or muffled whines. Only a smile...