“Hyung, are you sure you guys are together?”

Wongeun asks as he stabs his meat with one of his chopstick and pop it in his mouth, glancing at Taekwoon who was talking with some junior students. Hakyeon hum instead of giving a proper answer.

“Why are you asking?”

“Ani. It just feel weird.”

“That I am dating Taekwoon?”

“Nope. That you guys are actually dating. He shows no hint at all. You too.”

“It’s not time yet. Taekwoon doesn’t want us to be known.”

“And why was that?”

“Because of many things Wongeun ah. One of it is that he is in the soccer team.”

“He said that?”

Hakyeon nods; lazily eat his share of lunch. Wongeun shakes his head.

“Hyung, if it was me, I will scream to the world that I date you. Remember that.”

“Taekwoon is not you. You know how he is right?”

Hakyeon gives Taekwoon a brief stare before he sips his banana milk.

“Let’s go now. I have to ask Wonshik a math question.”

“I’m still eating.”

The younger whined and Hakyeon glances at his wrist to check the time.

“Can you finish it in 3 minutes? It’s urgent.”

“Just go then hyung. I’ll just eat alone.”

He sulks and Hakyeon gives up rushing. He’ll just ask Wonshik later. Wonshik always is the understanding one and kind. Or he will stay back to study about the chapter.

“I’ll stay.”

Wongeun smiles his eye smile and Hakyeon stares at him with tender gaze, making the younger feels full just by having his favourite hyung in front of him.

###

“Why are you late?”

Taekwoon asks from the kitchen when he heard Hakyeon’s footsteps. Hakyeon speaks nothing and slam his body on the soft couch, taking in some air.

“Hey, something wrong?”

Taekwoon asks, worriedly massaging Hakyeon’s shoulder. He stops Leo by touching his hand and shakes his head.

“I stay back to review some chapter and Wonshik happen to help me, so with chatting and revising, it took more than what I plan to set.”

Leo nods acknowledging and kisses Hakyeon’s hair.

“I cooked dinner. Are you going to eat or freshen up a bit first?”

“I think I’ll skip dinner Woon ah.”

Hakyeon said and went inside their shared room before he take a shower, a long one and proceed to sleep right after that, leaving Taekwoon dumbfounded.

“Maybe he is just tired.”

Taekwoon thought and pulls the comforter up to Hakyeon’s chest and peck his cheek before whispering goodnight. He went back to the kitchen and puts the food inside a container and stores them in the freezer so that they can eat those tomorrow.

He too plans to just skip the lonely dinner that day.

###

“Hakyeon ah.”

He stops pulling his sock up and look at Taekwoon who still has his bed hair as he pop out from their room. Hakyeon smiled and greeted him morning.

“Where are you going?”

Wongeun needs me to come with him to the florist.

“Waeyo?”

“He was having a hard time he said. I’m running late. Gotta go.”

He pecks Taekwoon’s lower lips at the corner of his lips and rushes out so Taekwoon sighs for having Hakyeon just for a millisecond and his warmth doesn’t even touch him.

He shrugs and went to resume his sleep. No Hakyeon in the house so he can sleep more. He remembers the food that he stores yesterday and nods to himself; he need not cook for today.

###

“It’s night again.”

Taekwoon said and opens the door as he bolted there when he heard key rustling. Hakyeon was surprised at first but chuckles after.

“He tricked me to a water theme park and the time flies quick when we were there. You know just how I hate playing extreme sports right Taekwoon. I end up filling his ears with nags and nags until I finally get the courage.”

Taekwoon doesn’t seem to register anything apart from Hakyeon. He stops him when he was about to walk, making Hakyeon stares at him.

“Wae?”

He asked, blinking innocently. Taekwoon sighs and shakes his head.

“Go and take a bath. You look drained.”

“I am. I’ll just take a quick one and let’s eat after.”

So Taekwoon waited, and waited and waited until he comes out half an hour later.

“I felt asleep Taekwoon. Can you believe that?”

Taekwoon chuckles and opens his arm for Hakyeon to get in there and he comply, snuggling onto his boyfriend chest that are a lot warmer than anything.

“I don’t feel like eating again Taekwoon ah.”

“Don’t always skip dinner. You will fall sick.”

“I never fall sick.”

Said Hakyeon and Taekwoon doesn’t say anything to deny. He just rock them as he shut his eyes, inhaling Hakyeon scents. Hakyeon never fall sick. Just cold at least. Rather than all that, he never needed to be nursed like how he is when he was sick.

He and Hakyeon knows each other from their diapers days. He is a timid baby while Hakyeon loves to explore everything. Times pass quick and they are in their elementary school.

Hakyeon is a cheerful student who loves to sing and dance while Taekwoon loves sports and competition. Hakyeon is always there for him, and vice versa. He too was there for him and until one day, he saw Hakyeon and Hongbin kissing, more than Hongbin kissed Hakyeon that he felt his heart ache too much.

That night, he takes Hakyeon out for ice cream which makes the latter questions him. Taekwoon doesn’t entertain his whine for ice cream but he is the one who ask him today.

“Wae?”

Hakyeon asks as he scoop a spoonful of ice cream and make sounds when the sweet delicacy melt in his mouth. Taekwoon sighs as he stabs his. Hakyeon turns to face him and grabs the tub from his hand.

“Tell me. Something bothered you.”

“Hongbinnie.”

Taekwoon starts and Hakyeon shifts in his seat.

“What about Binnie?”

“I saw.”

Said Taekwoon and fists his hand and Hakyeon stares at him.

“Oh. That? He just lose his mind. That boy.”

Hakyeon laughs awkwardly and puts another spoon of ice cream in his mouth. Taekwoon stops him and stare.

“Do you like him?”

“Binnie? No silly. Why would I? He is just a close brother to me.”

“Only that?”

“Yeah. And I told him to not do that again.”

Taekwoon sighs and nods.

“Waeyo? Is there something?”

“I don’t like it when I see you and him then. I feel like punching someone.”

“Why?”

Taekwoon shakes his head and soon his face is on his palm. Hakyeon scoots closer and rubs a hand on Taekwoon’s back. The latter then stood straight and soon was kissing him. Tenderly at first and becomes deep the second after.

Hakyeon gasps when he pulls away, gave a puzzle look at Taekwoon. The latter then place his forehead on Hakyeon’s and breathe.

“I think I like you.”

“You like me? Taek.”

“I know. I don’t want you to be with some other. It’s hurt me when they look at you like how Binnie did. I can’t.”

“Wait. You are saying that you like me as in like? Not just adoring me?”

“Yeah.”

Said Taekwoon softly. Hakyeon smiles and holds Taekwoon’s hand that has turn cold. He blow on it and chuckles.

“So you like me romantically. Silly Taekwoon.”

“I can’t help it. You are too gorgeous.”

Hakyeon laughs again and drops his head as he did and Taekwoon amusingly smiles. He pulls Hakyeon by his nape and nibbles his lips and and it and finally smiles in between the kisses before he whispers.

“I love you.”

Taekwoon confess.

And that happens 4 years ago. When they are on their last year of high school. Though he loves Hakyeon, never once he tell anyone about them. Most only thinks that they are best friend, life long friend at most. It happen when they start studying in the same University too.

They didn’t hold hands, they didn’t exchange flirting gaze and they didn’t spend free time sticking with each other in University. They are dating, that’s enough for each of them to know.

Wongeun knows about them because he accidentally saw Taekwoon’s message when he used Hakyeon’s phone and Taekwoon sent something like “see you at home boyfriend”.

Hakyeon pleads him to not say to anyone and he agree to keep it as a secret. Though the latter always makes him suspects Taekwoon’s love towards him.

“Taekwoon ah.”

He hum and still rocking them while he tightens his hold around Hakyeon’s body. He was getting slimmer and he can feel his hip bones when he rubs Hakyeon’s side.

“You really shouldn’t skip any meal time baby, you are all bones.”

He mumbles and Hakyeon’s laughs. He slaps Taekwoon’s chest and sat down on his lap as the latter won’t let him go.

“Taekwoon ah.”

“Neh.”

“Why don’t you tell anyone about us?”

“Us? Wae?”

“That we are dating. Why aren’t we telling anyone? Even yours and my noona don’t know.”

“It’s not necessary.”

He caresses Hakyeon’s hair and pecks his lip. Hakyeon glows under the dim light and he loves how his hair falls on his forehead, especially when he danced.

“Not necessary?”

“We love each other. That matters the most”

“But Taek.”

Taekwoon shush him and kisses Hakyeon again, he was about to grab his hair when Hakyeon stops him and pulls himself up. Taekwoon groans at the lost of warmth.

“Hakyeon ah.”

“Wongeun, he accidentally knows.”

“Wongeun? Why did you tell him? We agreed to not talk to anyone.”

Hakyeon frowns at Taekwoon’s sudden outburst. He shakes his head at his boyfriend sudden change.

“I told you, it was an accident. I kept my mouth shut for 4 years. I had to tell him so that he didn’t ask it from anyone else and it will become a bigger issue.”

“How are you so sure that he won’t tell?”

“He might be my new friend but I know he is loyal. Unlike some people.”

Hakyeon spat, planning to go to his room to get some sleep at least. But he was harshly pulled by Taekwoon whose eyes now raging in anger.

“What do you mean? When did I ever cheat?”

“You did not.”

Said Hakyeon, trying to wriggle his wrist free but failed. Yeah, he is a delicate dancer, how can he surpass Taekwoon’s energy.

“But you are ashamed of me.”

“Yah. I did not.”

“That’s what you want me to imagine. You are keeping me as a secret. We aren’t going out together. We went to groceries shopping alone, sometimes I go, and other time, you went. We didn’t go to school together too. Why are you being so secretive?”

“You don’t understand.”

“I don’t?”

Hakyeon chuckles, now successfully tug his hand off Taekwoon’s hold.

“We are friends Taek. We can be happy like that alone. No one needs to know about our relationship. We could just tell them, yeah, we are best friends.”

“I don’t want to be known as friends with you when we are not.”

“But you don’t want anyone to know about anything.”

“We have to focus Hakyeon. It’s our last semester.”

“After that, what? We are going to hunt for job and keep it as a secret until I die?”

Slap.

Both are silent. Taekwoon regrets quickly after he slaps him and Hakyeon tears wells in his eyes. His cheek sting and so does his cheek.

“You don’t love me anymore aren’t you?”

“Hakyeon ah.”

“I shouldn’t.”

He chuckles as he pulls his hand from Taekwoon. Wiping his tears roughly, he steps back from his boyfriend.

“I shouldn’t agreed. You are just used to have me around. You are not in love. You are just feeling comfortable around me.”

“I love you silly. I’m sorry. I couldn’t.”

“I’m leaving.”

“Hakyeon, wait. Where are you going?”

Hakyeon pulls his sling bag and push some clothes in there, he takes his bag and shoes, phone and wallet and walks out even after Taekwoon yelled for his name.

He gave up walking after his feet felt weak and slumped down on the cold floor. He looks behind and there is no trace of Taekwoon.

“He doesn’t even want to stop me.”

Said Hakyeon sadly and stands up again, walking to where his legs brought him to.

###

“Where is Hakyeon?”

Leo asked Wongeun first thing when he comes to the University.

“Excuse me?”

“I know you know about us. Now could you please.”

“I don’t know. Hyung usually is in library with Wonshik ssi at this time.”

Taekwoon ran to the other building and went in. He looks around for Hakyeon but couldn’t find him anywhere. He tried calling him again his call is blocked. He cursed and left the library, heading to Hakyeon first class of the day and scans for him. When he found no trace of Hakyeon, he went out and leans on the wall, waited.

###

“What actually happen?”

Wongeun asks after few days.

“Where did Hakyeon hyung go?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

He answers slowly. There is hesitancy in his action but Taekwoon can see it.

“What is it?”

“Aniyo. I was just wondering if you both fight?”

“Yes. It’s a petty quarrel.”

Said Taekwoon, and combs his hair with his fingers. Wongeun bites his nails and stops when he remembers something.

“Wonshik ssi might know.”

Taekwoon waste no time after he thanked Wongeun and he is now in front of Wonshik’s room. He knocked and waited.

“How can I help you?”

Wonshik asks politely when he opens the door. He wasn’t familiar with Taekwoon. Taekwoon waste no time and said one word that he miss.

“Hakyeon.”

###

“Let’s talk then.”

Hakyeon said coldly as he sat on the sofa. Taekwoon stands not far from him, staring down at his lover.

“Really, I don’t know what is going on with us.”

“We are fine, but I’m sick of this relationship.”

“Why Hakyeon? I don’t see any problem with us. You know I love you.”

“You said that too easily that I kind of suspects if you meant it.”

“Hakyeon!”

He widens his eyes in disbelief.

“You make me Taekwoon. You make me come to this.”

“Why are you so eager? Why are you so hot to tell people?”

“Why can’t I? We are dating fine. We kiss, we hugs, we sleep together so why not we just be like a normal couple will.”

“Because we are not. We are not like those normal couple.”

“Mwo?”

Hakyeon asks while squinting his eyes. He is totally disappointed if what Taekwoon means is about their uality.

“Are you saying that since we aren’t straight, we should keep our relationship as a secret?”

Taekwoon, instead of denying moves closer to Hakyeon. He touches his small shoulder and looks at him.

“That’s why we just can date like we use to. Aren’t it more comfortable. No commitment at all.”

“Taekwoon, I never once regret that I date you. Why are you.”

“We can just keep it until we are mature enough.”

“I’m the happiest when you said you are jealous about Hongbin kissing me.”

He went inside the only room in the small apartment and starts packing his stuffs. Taekwoon was busy thinking to realize and Hakyeon once again shakes his head in disbelief.

Taekwoon loves Hakyeon, he doesn’t deny that. He once vow that if he can’t get Hakyeon, he will die. But telling people that, he was afraid of their judgement.

He is the member of he soccer club and he did athletic too. What will happen to his reputation if he confessed about his and Hakyeon’s relationship?

“Let’s not see each other again. Whether it’s coincidence or for reason.”

Hakyeon sudden word surprised him and he went after his small framed boyfriend who brings out all of his things with his thin arms.

“Hakyeon what do you mean? Why can’t?”

“You are embarrassed.”

Hakyeon sniffles and hugs his body. Leo wants to get closer but Hakyeon steps back, hurt evidence in his eyes.

“Baby, please. I love you.”

“You did not. You just want me with you. If you do love me, why are you ashamed if people know about us?”

Taekwoon sighs. He just can’t do it yet. Not that he doesn’t love Hakyeon. He don’t think he could survive if it’s not about Hakyeon too.

“I’m leaving. Thank you for everything.”

Hakyeon left, now with all his things, not even one left for Taekwoon to hug to sleep. And again, he doesn’t run after him or stops him. He doesn’t scream for him to stop. Hakyeon left and he was cold again. Taekwoon flops on the floor, his back on the wall.

“I’m just stupid. This stupid pride!”

###

7 years without Hakyeon and Taekwoon is surprised that he is alive. He saw him casually in school after the break up but Hakyeon ignores him until he gives up calling him or stalking him.

He knows where he lives for starts but then Hakyeon keeps moving until he can’t keep hold of his whereabouts.

After they graduates, Hakyeon announced that they aren’t friends anymore to both families and he never showed up in family gathering or parties.

He wasn’t there when Leo last sister got married, he sent gift by courier and that’s it.

Taekwoon works at a bank after they graduates as he loves calculation and he still thinks of Hakyeon every day.

He manages to take a picture of Hakyeon that he found in his parents’ and his old diary. He read them every night that he memorize cheesy things Hakyeon wrote about how he likes Taekwoon.

He survived with that. At least.

So it happens that Leo was frustrated with his client and he went to a bar to get a drink. He is not a friend of alcohol so after two shots, he thought he was drunk because he heard Hakyeon’s beautiful laughter.

He chuckles and pour another glass, drank it up and turns to the sound of laughter. He blinks and rubs his eyes but he saw it. Hakyeon talking with few men. He laughs a lot and Taekwoon suddenly becomes sober.

He went to them, and stood by Hakyeon side. He slowly raise his hand and grabs Hakyeon’s shoulder, makes the latter turns around, the sunshine smile on his face falter.

“Taekwoon.”

Taekwoon nods, smiling dearly. He was missing him like crazy and he was totally happy that Hakyeon still remember him.

“You are around.”

He said and Hakyeon excuse himself from the bunch and they went to a space that is a bit far from them. Hakyeon sat and Taekwoon copied him, he still smiles like an idiot but Hakyeon did the opposite. He was keeping a straight face.

“How are you?”

He asks, not minding to look at Taekwoon at all. Taekwoon chuckles and answers a faint I’m alright.

“What are you doing now?”

“I’m an executive manager in a bank. You?”

“Not that great of a job. Don’t mind me.”

“You can tell me.”

“No. I don’t want to.”

“Hakyeon ah. I miss you.”

“I do too Taekwoon. Sometimes.”

Said Hakyeon and Taekwoon smiles at that. He still has a chance.

“Hakyeon ah. About us.”

“There is no such thing as us Taekwoon. Us has already burnt few years back. Us now is just about you and your life, and me with mine.”

“Hakyeon, we can start over again. I still love you, a lot.”

“Taekwoon. I. I’m.”

He sighs and Taekwoon saw what Hakyeon did. He was playing with his finger and there is a ring. His heart stop at that view. He paled.

“You are married?”

He shakes his head.

“I’m going to. Wonshik, he proposed and we had met both families. He helps me a lot and was there with me when I was hurting. He shows me the real reason for me to get going in life. I love him Taekwoon and I want to spend my whole life dedicated to him.”

“Hak. Hakyeon ah.”

“I’ll send invitation. Nice meeting you here Taekwoon ah. Be happy.”

Hakyeon left just like that and he was with his friends from earlier. He can see Wonshik now, draping an arm around Hakyeon and worriedly look at him who had his face down. He looks different from when they were in University but the way he looks at Hakyeon, Taekwoon sees his reflection.

Wonshik loves Hakyeon, his Hakyeon.

Taekwoon chuckles unbelievably. He just follows where his legs brings him as Hakyeon’s word keeps ringing in his ear.

“I love him.”

He replay what Hakyeon said and tears went down his cheek.

“You never said you love me even once Hakyeon.”

Taekwoon starts driving and never mind his tears blurred his vision and the honking he heard. He just continues driving until he feels his body was thrown along with his car and a heard a blast. He smiled and soon his eyelid becomes heavy. And he never knows what happen next.

But again, he once vow that if he can’t get Hakyeon, he will die.

###

He places the white carnation and swallows his tears. He was feeling tired and he feels his body weakens at the thought of Taekwoon.

He stands up with the help of a strong arms around his shoulder and he wept. He heard his boyfriend shush him and was brought close to his chest.

“He is in a better place now baby.”

Hakyeon break down more at that. Wonshik keeps his boyfriend secure in his arms and pats him as he whispers sweet things to calm him down. Hakyeon gain his sense after few moment and Wonshik kisses his head.

“Now let’s go home?”

He asked and Hakyeon nods. He turns to the tombstone again and hid himself in Wonshik arm. He doesn’t have the heart to even think that Taekwoon is no longer breathing in this fine world.

“I’m sorry Taekwoon ah.”

He whispers and both walk to Wonshik car. All the way to their house, Wonshik holds his hand but all Hakyeon can think is Taekwoon. He feels that he had betrayed Wonshik but he can’t help it.

Wonshik kisses his hand and place them on his chest. Hakyeon can only smiles sadly.

“Kenchana. I understand. I won’t ask you anything.”

Hakyeon then leans on Wonshik’s arm and kisses his cheek slightly.

“Thank you, for everything.”

 

 

 

 

Trial and error with angst story but I don’t know if it works..
Sorry..

Oh and I wrote Wonshik because I suddenly feel like I've been neglecting uri Shikkie.. Hehe.

Love, Star ☆