Jinki was a simple man with simple tastes. He expected things to be done a certain way at a certain time. He ran his life much like he ran his business: minimum distractions and maximum efficiency.

From the first sound of his alarm in the morning, Jinki moved throughout his day with an assured sense of self, every minute planned out and executed exactly as he had intended. 6AM, wake up and get ready for work. 6:30AM, make coffee, eat breakfast, make lunch for that afternoon. 6:45AM, leave for work. 7AM, arrive at the office, check email. Each minute deliberately scheduled to maximize Jinki’s time spent in meetings, important phone calls, and contract negotiations.

Each day started the same; each day went smoothly, perfectly. Because that was what Jinki wanted; that was what Jinki needed.

Because there was no room left in the day for impromptu phone calls or last minute dinners. There was no place for laundry strewn across the floor when it should be put in its designated hamper. There was no place for make-up strewn across the bathroom counters, not the tan powder dusting the pristine marble, nor the contrasting streaks of mascara.

Jinki had no time in his day for going to the movie theater to see the latest blockbuster. Jinki had no desire to eat at the newest restaurant just to see what it was like. Jinki had no need to walk through the park when he could exercise at the gym.

Those things were messy, and Jinki was not. Jinki’s perfectly scheduled day did not allow for such things. Life were simpler this way: less messy, less unpredictable, less room for error.

There were no wrinkles in his sheets other than on his side of the bed; this meant less time was wasted making it. There were no more dirty dishes left in the sink or strewn about the house; this meant less time cleaning them. There were no more unnecessary collections of small glass figurines that resembled shooting stars; this meant less time dusting. There were no more weekend trips to the coast to visit in-laws; this meant less time spent not working. There were no more expensive gifts for birthdays or anniversaries; this meant more could be invested in future projects.

Jinki took each minute not wasted and turned it into something useful, something effective. There was no efficiency in sitting alone in his bedroom. There was no spreadsheet for analyzing emotions. There was no training offered on how to continue living when all Jinki really wanted to do was fade away.

There was no purpose in living messily when those things now seemed meaningless.

Jinki had been a simple man with simple tastes. He had expected to wake up in the morning to the vision of dark, mussed hair and bow-shaped lips. He had known that his day would be filled with twists and turns, with unscheduled lunch dates and last minutes plans.

Because things with Gwiboon had been messy; but then again, love always was.

From the first sound of his alarm in the morning, Jinki had moved confidently throughout his day, assured in the fact that he loved Gwiboon and she loved him. 6AM, wake up, get ready for work. 6:30AM, make coffee and breakfast. 6:45AM, wake up his beautiful, sleeping wife before going to work. 6:50AM, attempt not to fall under her spell and back into bed. 7AM, leave late for work, content with the knowledge that a happy wife was a happy life.

Each day had been different; each day had been perfect. Because that was what Gwiboon had been: sunshine bursting forth on a cloudy day; laughter ringing out in a too quiet room; and red lipstick staining his cheek before an important meeting.

Gwiboon had been messy, but she had been his everything and now she was gone.

Now, there was no more room in Jinki’s life for hospital visits and medical bills. Now, there was no room for meeting with doctors or being referred to specialists. Now, there was no room for painting a nursery or shopping for onsies. Now, there was no room for dashed hopes and crushed dreams. Because everything had died that day with Gwiboon, including Jinki.

Love was messy and there was no more room for messy in Jinki’s simple life.

Because simple was easy, simple was doable. Simple meant living life minute to minute, day to day; seamlessly moving from one thing to the next and filling his life with purpose, with a clear direction. Jinki filled his days with meetings and emails and spreadsheets because those things were tangible, those things were concrete, those things were real. Those things were all he had left.