It all started at 16^th October 2015, around 5:42pm that we met. I never thought we will be that close at first since we’re just strangers that time. But he has something that want me to know more about him. His name is Taehyung, Kim Taehyung to be exact. He is two years older than me but I refuse to call him hyung that time.

 

  We always had time just to tell each other’s condition or just simply talking about everything. We both love to tease. He often tease me with his mean remark or simply makes me mad. While I like teasing him with something that makes him flustered and groans in annoyance. It’s cute seeing him all flustered like that. Since that day, we start to get closer than before.

 

  Until one day, on 24^th October 2015. He ask me a favor and ofc I said I will help him. He told me not to sleep that night. Well, he said only until past midnight though. But unfortunately that night, I fall asleep due to my sleepiness. But I wake up in the morning and check my phone. I gasped and widen my eyes when I read what the actual plan that he planned that night

 

  Right on 00:01am at 25^th October 2015, he confessed to me. He said he love me and want me to be his boyfriend. Well, at first it makes me scared. I have this love problem with my past relationship that makes me didn’t believe in love again. I kept telling myself “What to do? Should I believe him or not?” over and over again.

 

   My past relationship wasn’t that pleasant. In fact, it’s terrifying. It makes me trauma and don’t want to be into relationship again. Well, actually we’re not even in a relationship, he’s just one of my older hyung that unfortunately I fell for. His name is Park Chanyeol. We kinda messed around with each other until someday I realized I love him. I tell him about my feeling and he told me that he love me too. But soon, I know that he’s not serious with me. I found him with someone else, and it’s a girl. Her name is Jung Soojung. I often stalked them even it’s hurts though, but because of it I know that Chanyeol Hyung also love her.

 

  I told Chanyeol hyung that I knew about Soojung and ask him to choose between me and her. And he answered me with “you remind me with my late sister” and that day, I told him to just choose her and just stay away from me. I decided to just walk away from him and found out that the day after it, he confessed to her. It hurts me so much that I decided to not open my hearts for everyone again because I’m afraid someone will hurt me again if I still believe in love.

 

  But then I met him, Kim Taehyung. The one that confessed to me after the incident with my past relationship. Honestly, I still don’t know how to answer his confession. But then I re-thinking, I think about those past few days when he always there for me, always caring about me and makes stupid and lame jokes that makes me smile. It’s been so long since I truly smiles like that. So with a deep breath, I let relaxed myself and answer his confession. I choose to be brave for a while and said “yes, I want to be your boyfriend” at 9:55am in 25^th October 2015.

 

   But of course there’s lot of problems that come to us after it. In 19^th December 2015,  around 12:20pm he told me that he must go somewhere because his scores keep dropping and can’t stay with me again but he said he will try his best to fix it. He only have one week before he go. That day I cried for the first time, I feel betrayed, hurts and also afraid. But I lied to him, I tell him it was okay and I understand it. I tried so much to not looks weak in front of him but he knew that I cried anyway.

 

   I try to be okay with everything, I try to cheer up for the following week. In 25^th December, we will have our 2^nd month anniversary. I planned something since it might be our last month anniversary together, I write 25 things that i thanked him for and plan to give it to him later on. But I never got to give him that lettter, when the 25^th December comes, he ask me what I want to get in Christmas and told me to close my eyes. I follow his instruction, I closed my eyes and makes a wish. My wish is only one, to makes him stay a bit longer with me. Then after that, he ask me to open my eyes and he said he’s not going anywhere, he successfully told his mother that he will fix his score without leaving me. That day, I cried for the second time.

 

  We grew even closer as the times goes by, we start to opened up for more. We tell each other about everything and I start to call him with hyung. Hyung know about my past and my insecurities, I do know about his past relationship and his friends. I know his likes and dislikes and he also know about my favourites and dislikes. He grew more cheesy than ever. And he kind of possessive, he will get mad if I’m too close with someone else other than him. I love his possessive side though so I often just to see that side of him.

 

  Until one day, on 19^th February 2016 at 8:18pm he took me to the back yard, he covered my eyes with handkerchief and slowly guide me there. Until we arrived there, he uncovered my eyes and I saw some people. there’s around 4 peoples in the backyard. Wearing a shirt that saying “Would” “You” “Marry” and “Me”. I gasps softly after realizing what is happening there at the moment, not only that I tilt my head aside to look at him. He already knelt down while smiling, he then show me pokemon’s ring case. I squealed since it really looks cute. He then chuckles before saying those magic words, he ask me to marry him. And when the clock show 9:45pm I said yes and we engaged!

 

 

  After that we talked about wedding party, we decided to hire a wedding organization for that and we decided that we will do a wedding ceremony in 26^th March 2016. At first, Hyung want our wedding’s theme to be a lego. But due to our Wedding Organization’s plan, we can’t have lego themes wedding ceremony.

 

  When the day is come, I feel nausea because of nervousness. We both wearing black tuxedos and he really looks so handsome with that suit. He wait for me at the edge of the aisle while I walk down to the aisle, he smile while reaching my hand and hold it. I smile as well and we both standing still facing the priest. Then the priest told him to say his vow, he said it clearly while gazing me that makes me almost melt. Now it’s my turn to say the vow, I inhale deeply before say my own vow. That’s it! We officially married to each other now! Ah it’s one of the beautiful moments in my life. I smile so widely when the MC and the guest ask us to kiss. Aigoo, it’s really embarrassing to kiss in public ><

 

   After that, we start to live together. Doing anything together just like the newlyweds do. Even not long after that, we both are start to got busy again with our own business. But, me and hyung always try to be together as much as possible. If we had more times, we would going out for dinner, to the zoo or park or playing some games in the house. Like hide and seek, pillow fight or just simply cuddles. We may looks like child when we play together, but he is really smart. He use that moment to turn into a romantic husband. Like that one time when we play hide and seek, he slips a various color of roses everywhere in the house. Ah, we also adopt a kitten. We named him Vian. He has grey fur and looks so cute!

 

    At 25^th April 2016, I told him that he have another baby. He looks shocked for a moment then he smile and hugs me, he thanks me and ask me “what more suit to me, daddy or appa?” I laugh at his excitement and told him that everything will suit him. He then smile and decided that he want to be called daddy by his baby and tease me by saying “so you can’t call me daddy when we’re doing things” ><

 

  At 2^nd July 2016, our baby was born. It was a baby boy named Kim Taegguk. Hyungie is the one who named him! He has a pair of chubby cheeks like me, and he has a cute eyes that shining so beautifully like Taehyung’s. And he loves blinking, hyungie said he is just like me. Because he said I love blinking too.

 

  And at 25^th August 2016, we celebrated our 10^th month anniversary. He gave me a video with French’s songs as it’s backsound. He made it by himself, that video is all about us. And I haven’t give him anything until today. And I want to say sorry and also give him his present now. It’s a letter!

 

Dear hyungie,

 

   We already together for 10 months now. You’re not tired yet, right? I hope so. I know that I often bothering you with my insecurities and my bad thoughts this past few days. I want to say sorry for that. Also I want to thank you because you’re still beside me even i always have this insecurities. I want it to gone though but I don’t know how to erase it from me L

 

  I want to be more honest with you. Hyungie, when I said that I don’t know what to do when you decided to leave me someday, it’s true. I still can’t imagine my life without you here. Maybe I’m too attached with you, yes. But sometimes I try to imagine it and I end up crying. I know that you often said that we can’t stay forever like this, I know it’s true but sometimes it hurts me because that means someday you will get tired of me and will leave me. I don’t know when that day will come though, but everytime we fight I always think “Will you leave me now?”

 

  That’s why I always grateful whenever we celebrated our month anniversary, because we still together even months pass by like that. I hope we still together until next years and another next years. But I know it will never happen right? Since you and I have our own business to do. But is it okay to wish like that?

 

  Hm… I really hate saying goodbye. Because I always remember people that come to me and it’s painful knowing you can only remember him/her without even talk or meet him/her again in the future. But promise me to tell me whenever you want to leave me okay? I know I will cry if you do it, but it’s better than leaving me without any words.

 

  Ah, I’m sorry I only can write this as 10^th month anniversary. I feel awkward when I pour my feeling into words and often blank when I want to express my feeling into it. But you have to know that even we can’t stay forever here, I love you. I love you so much. Maybe that’s why I’m afraid to lose you? Because I love you?

 

  I also want to thank you. For everything. For your effort to calm me down whenever I got too insecure about almost everything, for your effort to say sorry when you did a mistake even you’re not used to apologize. For your effort to makes me smile and laughs over your texts. Because of you my mom call me crazy~ ! .giggles.

 

  It’s almost one year since we got together. I’m still counting until that day finally come. Hopefully we’re still together until then, if not.. well, I still want to celebrate it! Because it’s too special for me. I can’t never forget our 25^th!

 

 Once again, i will tell you this. I love you hyungie. I don’t want to stop loving you. I will always love you till my heart stop beating. Just like our vow in front of the priest on 26^th March 2016!

 

 

                                                                                                                                                          With love,

                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                             Kookie