I’m Sorry, I love you (Jung Hoseok)

Word Count:

Genre: Fluff, angst (?)

 

    You loved him. You loved his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his voice, his personality. The list goes on and on. Jung Hoseok, your best friend, and the person you cared for the most. But, you were sure that he loved someone else. He would always ask you what did girls like for certain situations. The curious thing was, he never told you her name.

    “She’s beautiful,” he always says, when you ask her who she was.

    “Why can’t I meet her then?” You respond.

    “You already have.”

    Whatever he meant by that confused you. You knew so many beautiful girls that he knows as well, so the guessing lead you in circles. But you were determined to find out who she was.

    “Y/N!” A voice calls, snapping you out of your thoughts.

    “Hoseok-ah, annyeonghaseyo!”

    “Annyeong,” he smiles, and you smile back, as his positivity was contagious, “I need your help.”

    “What is it?”

    “The girl I like’s birthday is coming up, and I want to ask her out, but I don’t know how…” he trails off.

    That pained you, but you answered anyway.

    “So, I’m guessing you want to take her on a date. Girls who like to spend their birthday somewhere, often go to the beach, or theme park.”

    “That’s it?”

    “Well, it’s up to you to plan what she wants, personally I would say the theme park. But it’s your choice. Good luck, Hoseok,” you smile.

    “Komapsumnida Y/N-ah,” he says and then runs off, probably to plan his date.

    “Whoever that girl is, she must be really lucky,” you think out loud.

    “Who’s lucky?”

    “That butterfly over there. Aish, Kim Taehyung. Can you not come out of nowhere?”

    Taehyung laughs, “Well that butterfly is not as lucky as you,” he says, slinging an arm around your shoulder.

    “And why is that?”

    “Because you are eating with Chimchim, Kookie, and I!”

    “Should I be jumping for joy?”

    “Most girls would love to eat with us!”

    “Who in their right mind would want to eat with a loud 4D alien, the golden maknae who beats everyone at everything, and the shortie?”

    “Well I’m forcing you to eat with us. No complaining Y/N.”

    You sigh, “There is no way out of this is there?”

    “Nope.”

    “Well let’s go then!” You say.

~*~

    Taehyung’s group of friends were pretty weird, as usual.

    “Jiminie hyung, can I have your cookie?” Jungkook asks.

    Jimin rolls his eyes, but then laughs and gives Jungkook the cookie, who happily eats it while Taehyung, Jimin, and I converse about random things, mostly the dance we were trying to change the choreography and cover. We almost got it, but we needed to rehearse the timing.

    “Y/N, can I talk to you, alone?” Hoseok comes up and asks.

“Huh? Why Hoseok?” I ask, curiously.

“Just come with me, okay?”

“Okay then…” I respond, “I’ll be back,” I say to Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin.

I walked with Hoseok into the hall outside the cafeteria.

“What is it Hoseok~ah?” I asked.

 

“Nothing, I just wanted to get you away from them,” he says, and I get confused.

 

“What’s wrong with them?”

 

“Nothing, never mind. I’m sorry, go back to your friends,” he says, a pained smile

on his face.

 

I went away, leaving Hoseok there in the hallway. On the outside, I continued conversing with the others, but inside, a million questions ran through my head. Why was Hoseok acting like that? Is he okay? What was he really trying to ask me? But with the million running through my head, only one lingered. Did I hurt him?

 

The next day, Hoseok wasn’t in class, so I assumed he was sick. I still worried, he is my best friend after all. I began to wonder if I caused him to be absent. The day after that he wasn’t there either. I began to worry more. There were so many rumors about him. A few of them being he was transferred, he was expelled, suspended, or he committed suicide. I didn’t believe any of them. Hoseok is too happy to commit suicide, so I quickly discarded that thought. He wasn't expelled or suspended either. He’s never done anything wrong.

 

Transfer?

 

~*~

 

“Y/n, what would you do if I transferred?” Hoseok asks.

 

“I would transfer with you silly!” I say hitting his chest, “Where would I go without my best friend?”

 

~*~

 

Did he really transfer?

 

No, it can’t be true. He would have told me.

 

I opened my locker, and a note fell out.

 

Mianhaeyo Y/N, I transferred to another school. I got accepted by that company I told you about, ibighit entertainment. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wanted to, I just didn’t know how. I’ll still remember you, after I debut as an idol, I’ll come look for you. I’m not sure if you share my feelings Y/N. I’m sorry, but I love you Y/N. Wait for me?

 

-Jung Hoseok

 

Hoseok… likes me? I loved you for so long, but I never knew how to tell you. Mianhaeyo, jinja mianhaeyo . I’ll wait, promise. Saranghaeyo Jung Hoseok, jinja saranghaeyo .

 

2 years later

 

I started wondering if Hoseok ever remembered me. It’s been a year since they debuted and I still didn't have any contact with him. Was it all lies?

 

Jung Hoseok, my best friend, I didn’t want to believe it. But, I think he left me… No. He’s probably just busy. He probably wants to come, but can’t.

 

Another 2 years passed, and I finally decided to go to one of their concerts in Seoul. It wasn’t much of a problem. During that span, I became a JYP trainee, and we were on a break before we debut. I took a flight to Seoul, and bought a front row ticket. I wouldn’t go for a meet and greet. If Hoseok didn't notice me, then I won’t bother.

 

They walked out onto the stage, and I saw Hoseok’s eyes widen. Yep, he knew. He remembers. They continued their songs, and I went along with their fanchant. Out of nowhere, Hoseok whispered to who I know as Namjoon. Namjoon nodded.

 

“Who here knows how to dance?!” He half-asks, half-yells.

 

I hear a bunch of screams.

 

“Well, I’m going to pick one lucky fan to come up here and dance Danger with us!” Hoseok says.

 

Oh no. I know what you’re planning Hoseok. I know you know that I know how to dance Danger. Okay I just confused myself. Wait, Y/N stop talking to yourself!

 

Hoseok’s outstretched hand comes into my vision, and I take it. He helps me hop over the gate and onto the stage. Naturally, when the music started, I found a way to get in without taking over anyone’s spot. It was how I trained back at JYP. I moved in sync as if I had practiced with them. When the music stopped, Hoseok hugged me from the side.

 

“Come back after the concert, we need to catch up.”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” I laugh. Wait, Y/N! You fell in love with him, and he went away! Why are you letting him back into your life so easily. Inside my head, I heard, because you still love him.

 

~*~

 

“Y/N~ah!” I heard Hoseok yell.

 

“Hoseok~yah! I missed you!” I say laughing.

 

I hugged him.

 

“Oh I want you to meet the others!”

 

“Okay,” Hoseok pretty much dragged me into the dressing room.

 

“Yah! This is Y/N, my best friend from high school! Y/N this is Namjoon aka Rap Mon, Yoongi aka Suga, Seokjin aka Jin, and you already know our hyperactive maknaes.”

 

As soon as he said that, I heard yelling and I felt 3 bodies on me.

 

“YAH! TAE, JIMIN, AND KOOKIE PLEASE GET OFF ME BEFORE YOU CRUSH MY BONES!”

 

“Mianhae.”

 

“Gwenchana.”

 

“Oh there is one person. This is Jeon Ae Sook, she’s my girlfriend,” Hobi says.

 

“Oh, hi! I’m Y/N,” I say calmly.

 

He has a girlfriend, he told me to wait for him. I guess he forgot about it. Oh well whatever. I’ll move on somehow. I am a JYP trainee, there are a lot of guys there. Wait a second, who am I kidding.

 

I fake a smile, wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

 

“Hey, I’m Ae Sook, I hope we can be friends?”

 

“Yeah, sure! Kookie ah!~” I whine.

 

“Yes Y/N~ah?”

 

“Can we go get ice cream?” I do aegyo to make sure he goes with me.

 

“Fine, hyungs I’ll be back,” he says as we walk through the door, “Ok Y/n what happened?”

 

See, me and Jungkook are really close, and at one point we agreed whenever something happened, we would tell each other, and “getting ice-cream” was our code-word and routine. Whoever had to listen would buy ice-cream and comfort the one who was in pain, or happy, as a treat. We bought each other ice cream when we both became trainees. We walked towards the ice cream parlor that wasn’t too far from the area.

 

“Hoseok got a girlfriend…” I say, knowing very well that he knew of the two way, well now one-way, crushes both me and Hoseok had on each other.  

 

“Yeah, before Hobi transferred he met Ae Sook when he was touring the area. They hung out, he started liking her at the same time he liked you. He still likes you Y/N, I think Ae Sook is just a fling… Plus I heard Ae Sook likes Namjoon anyway.”

 

“Namjoon?! That means she might break up with Hobi?!”

 

“YAH! Calm down Y/N~yah, Hobi-hyung is really strong, and if he likes you more than Ae Sook, which I do know he does, he’ll get over it quickly. Anyway, I need to head back, care to come with me?”

 

“Nah, tell the boys I had fun and I’ll catch up with Hobi later. I think Mark-oppa has something to do with Coco coming back to the dorms.”

 

“Tell them I said hi, okay?”

 

“Ne, I will, see you Kookie.”

 

~*~

 

*Ring ring*

 

“Yoboseyo?”

 

“Y/N~ah?”

 

“Hobi? Are you crying?”

 

“I caught Ae Sook confessing to Namjoon, she said she was willing to break up with me in order to date Namjoon. I broke up with her, then Namjoon rejected her. I trusted her Y/N. I thought she would help me move on from you.”

 

He’s right, even though I love Hobi. I’m already dating Jaebum. Mianhae Hoseok. I don’t know what to do.

 

“I don’t know what to do Hoseok-ah, mianhae.”

 

“Aniyo, mianhae Y/N. I took too long. Mianhaeyo, Y/n. Mianhae, saranghae.”

 

Mianhaeyo Saranghaeyo Hoseok-ah.