16th October

2:30 a.m

He was in bed, cuddled up in warm cotton blanket, next to Jongin, love bites marked his neck, down to his spine. He knew where he was, in his house in the middle of Seoul. He was physically there, in the cold Autumn night, but mentally, he was not.

He was still in the classroom where he attended his Literature classes, the scene of the fight with Baekhyun kept replaying in his mind. He regretted the fact that he was being selfish, and he acted with what his narrow mind wants, not what his heart leads him to. He loves Baekhyun, a lot. Sure, after Baekhyun left, he was constantly with Jongin. But with Jongin, he was different. He didn't just go to Jongin's place in the middle of the night to cuddle, he didn't just walk all the way from school to Jongin's apartment early before Jongin comes home to surprise him with a home-made sandwich, and he most definitely did not love Jongin.

-

3:58 a.m

Sehun crawled out of bed silently and made his way towards the bedroom door. The wooden floor creaked silently with every step he took. His hands glided on the dusty green wall along his hallway, down the stairs and finally in front of his front door. He stepped outside and stared up the sky. There, on the far North, Sirius was sparkling, like always. Bright, brighter than others, like always.

"I miss you," he smirked up at Sirius.

"I miss you so much," a tear glided on his left cheek.

He wiped it away, his eyes still puddled with tears, but it sparkled against the moonlight when he looked up at the sky again.

"Well, let me tell you about my day now," he smirked once again.

-

21st October

10:30 p.m

He wandered around in his front yard, his feet kicking the dried leaves. He made his way towards the footsteps of his front door and sat there silently, just breathing, enjoying the fact that he's still alive. He looked straight towards the wilted grass, which was slowly dying from the cold breeze.

He sat there with Baekhyun once, just the two of them in the dark. He was playing with Baekhyun's hair as Baekhyun entwined his fingers with Sehun's.

"It's cold," Sehun whispered, his upper lip softly touching the tip of Baekhyun's ear.

"Really? I do not really feel cold," Baekhyun turned his head towards his lover's.

Sehun sighed, and giggled lightly, "idiot," he said rubbing the palms of Baekhyun's hand, "it's a sign for you to hug me or something."

He was staring at Sehun for approximately 5 seconds before smiling.

He sat straight, and wrapped his arms around Sehun's body, keeping him close, as the heat from his body transferred to the male's, and their lips touched.

He actually warmth of a body's heat on him, but it was different. He opened his eyes and face to his right, it was Kim Jongin.

"Hey babe," he smiled with glee.

Sehun's voice went slow, a forced smile carved upon his lips, "hey."

"Aren't you cold?" Jongin asked, grabbing Sehun's arm, pecking a kiss on his shoulder.

"Kind of," Sehun replied.

"Want to come inside? I'll make you some hot chocolate with 3 marshmallows, like what you love."

"No thank you, I just want to stay here. It's 4 marshmallows, by the way," Sehun faced back to the wilted grass and whispered to himself, "Baekhyun would've known."

"What was that babe?" Jongin asked another question.

"Nothing," Sehun sighed.

"I love you babe," Jongin made his face's way closer to Sehun's, until the bridge of their noses touch.

Sehun smiled the fakest smile he could.

-

2:26 a.m

Jongin already dozed off, and as usual, Sehun crawled out of bed and to the front yard.

"Halloween's coming up in a couple of days, I wish you're here beside me, I was planning on dressing up like those cliché couples, maybe you as ketchup and me as a mustard," he cringed at the thought, but shook it off with a smile.

"Remember that day, when I asked you to wrap your arms around me because I told you I was cold when I'm actually not? Well, right now I'm actually really cold, I wish you were here to hug me tight," he faced up to Sirius, he was about to breakdown.

Sehun blinked, a drop of tear glided against his pale cheeks, he clenched his chest in frustration.

If only he was given one more chance.

-

31st October

8:46 p.m

He was in his costume, the knees of his jeans torn, his white shirt stained with fake blood, he walked down the crooked rode with Jongin slowly following.

Sehun could feel manly arms wrapping him from the back, Jongin's head softly rested on his broad shoulder. The cape from Jongin's vampire costume almost tripped the both of them.

"Wanna go to that party later?" Jongin asked.

"I don't feel so good," Sehun faced him.

"Why? Too much candy?" Jongin laughed, cupping Sehun's face.

"No. You just go ahead with Minseok or something, I have to go now."

Sehun walked fast, leaving Jongin behind, with an emotionless expression carved on his face.

-

12:30 a.m

Sehun was still in his Zombie costume, but messier. His hair was literally a bird's nest, and the fake blood on his face was now on his clothing. He has been crying since he came home, a sobbing mess.

"Please come back," he stood there in the middle of his yard with knees on the ground, face facing Sirius.

"I can't do this without you, I miss you Baekhyun," he took a deep breath, "I miss your touch and your kiss, and you as a whole. I miss how you would ask me your stupidly cute questions and how you would get weirded out by even the simplest of things. I miss looking at your facial expressions, how clueless you are about most things, it makes me feel like I'm protecting you, and I know you love being protected. I know that it was such a short time and it's foolish for a guy like me to fall so hard, but as you said, humans are selfish. I'm selfish, Baekhyun. I want you, now, with me, I don't care what 'they' think, I don't care how 'they' view me as, a selfish human being, a man who don't think, a man who acts by heart and not by mind. I am selfish, because I love you. I want you by my side and only by my side. You see me from up there and you will think that I'm happy here with Jongin, I'm not, Baekhyun. It's different. It's so different. I just,"

"I just miss you, so much."

-

16th November

4:35 p.m

"I'm leaving," Jongin took his clothes from the drawer and into his suitcase.

"I can't stand you anymore, I can't stand the fact that you treat me like I'm nothing, I can't stand the fact that you only view me as nothing more than just friends with benefits when I view you as my everything."

Sehun just stood still beside the bed frame, not saying a word. There was no use in telling Jongin it was not true, what he was saying was not true, because Sehun knows that was he was saying was the truth. He couldn't tell Jongin to stop, to stay, to say that everything is okay, because it is not.

So he just stood still, watching Jongin pack, letting him leave, because he knew that,

It was better to let him go, then to watch him hurt.

-

18th December

1:45 p.m

Everything seemed wrong. He couldn't do the things he would usually do. He couldn't stand straight, his head hurts whenever he walked, his grades were getting lower, decreasing drastically, he fought with his parents a lot.

He was depressed, he felt like dying. He felt as if the world was turning over him.

The thing about depression is, he couldn't do anything. He took pills, but it only made him sleep a lot, he went to see a therapist but it only got worst. He kept thinking about his wrongs way more. His surrounding was not doing much help, ever since what happened between Jongin and him, everyone looked at Sehun as if he was a murderer.

But it was true, Sehun murdered Jongin's heart. He didn't know what Jongin was capable of doing with a broken heart.

-

12:55 a.m

Sehun knew what to do. He decided to die.

-

20th December

1:30 a.m

He wrote his letter, bidding everyone goodbye.

He wrote a letter to Jongin, thanking him for being there when he was lonely, and apologising about what he did to his heart.

He wrote a letter to his parents, thanking them for raising him, thanking them for all the things they have done to make him happy, and apologising for everything else.

He wrote a letter to his school's principal, asking him to not tell anyone about his death, asking him to tell people he just moved away.

He placed the letters in a box and on his bed, along with things that he wanted to give away.

Then he ran outside.

-

1:45 a.m

He couldn't see Sirius, the clouds were thickening and blocking it from his sight.

He stood there on the grass, a gun firmly grasped in his right hand.

"It's a good thing that the clouds are blocking, Baekhyun, you wouldn't want to see this," he smirked.

"I don't believe in the afterlife but I once read that these bunch of people believe that when you die, you become a star, and right now I really hope that it's true, because right now, all I want is to be beside you."

He placed the gun beside his head, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger.

-

January 1st

8:00 a.m

Mr. Park went inside the classroom with a straight face.

"On December 20th, we have lost our dearest student, Oh Sehun due to suicide. Let's have a moment for Sehun and remember the good things he has done for us."

The class went silent. Everyone was in disbelief. Gasps of shocked and sobs of sadness filled the room.

"However, it is my duty to continue this class," Mr Park interrupted.

"So on December 21st NASA posted new news. A star appeared next to Sirius, it was given the name Canopus. They are still trying to figure out how and why it suddenly appeared there, but it is now the second brightest star in the Earth's night sky. So when you look at the both of them, they sparkle twice as brighter as they are right next to each other,"

"it almost looks as if they are in love."