“I’ve just been thinking too damn much. That has always been my problem. This ‘gifted brain’ that others are so quick to compliment is the reason why I’ve slept a total of nine hours in the past week, why I’m running on an alternating schedule of endless caffeine and melatonin supplements.

“And now I’m influencing you – don’t even try to deny it, because Yoongi told me you haven’t been sleeping – and I just want to sleep, but the worries and the wonder and the goddamn thoughts just won’t stop long enough for that to happen.”

“Y/N…” The name falls in broken syllables from Namjoon’s lips as his hand searches for her arm in the darkness. The moon reflects off the lenses of his glasses resting on the night stand, his only point of reference in the pitch black of his bedroom. His fingers finally find purchase in the sleeve of her t-shirt. He follows the seam down to her elbow and then to her wrist until he is able to trace the cuff of her sleeve and lace his slim, calloused fingers in the seemingly natural spaces between hers.

He wonders how long these particular thoughts have been weighing on her overworked mind. He always knew Y/N was pushing herself too hard. She did her best to hide the fatigue, but he is observant. Of course he noticed the light slowly draining from her eyes as smiles grew rarer until the most she could muster was a small, grimacing raise of her lips.

He isn’t exactly the poster child for healthy sleeping habits, and the worry for Y/N hasn’t helped much, but he is still kicking himself internally for letting her get so far gone.

“Y/N…come here.” His voice remains a soft whisper as he tugs on her fingers, pulling her head down against his shoulder.

She resists for a moment, but then she exhales a whoosh of air that tickles his neck as she lets her weight fall heavily against him. She is finally allowing him to support her, something she has refused adamantly ever since this whole thing got started.  

Looking back he can see how this has been a long time coming, final exams may have been the catalyst for the break, but the pressure has been building ever since the semester began. Y/N has been loaded with responsibility after responsibility and she was able to hold her own for an impressively long time, but now Namjoon knows he has to take some of the weight before she breaks.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers into the fabric covering his shoulder. Her warm breath absorbs into the cotton, sending a shiver down Namjoon’s spine.

Namjoon hushes her and raises his hand to her back, rubbing small circles with the side of his thumb. “No, I’m sorry I didn’t say something to you sooner. I saw you running yourself ragged, but I just sat back and watched it happen. I know it all seems like too much right now, and you just want to get through it all, but you can’t get even one thing done if you’re too busy worrying about everything else. You have to get through it one thing at a time. I know you don’t want to, but for tonight – please, just tonight – let it all go and lie here with me.”

“But-”

“Y/N, if you don’t stop talking and thinking and just lie down and let me cuddle the stress out of you, I will be forced to tickle you into submission, and I think both of us are too tired for the consequences of that.”

A small huff of air escapes Y/N’s lips, her sleep deprived version of a giggle, but she can’t stop the question from leaving as she runs a finger lazily across Namjoon’s collar bones.

“But, Namjoon, how do I just stop thinking? I’ve spent enough late nights walking around campus and talking with you to know that you have trouble with over-thinking too. How do you deal with it?”

Namjoon sighs, a slow and heavy exhalation through his nose. Before he voices his reply, his fingers find their way into Y/N’s hair and begin playing with the silky strands.

“You have to distract yourself. If you’re just holding onto the thoughts so you don’t forget them, you write them down and free up your mind. If the thoughts are just worry-filled clutter, you stop thinking. It’s scary, but you cut away the bindings those thoughts have on your mind and you let them fall away into nothing. After that you focus on one thing – one thing only – that calms you down or makes you happy.”

It is too dark to see anything more than inky smudges upon a pitch black backdrop, but Namjoon’s gentle smile can be heard in his voice as he continues. “I usually think about the day we ran away from everyone and went to the beach. Remember the storms in the area? How we technically weren’t supposed to be swimming, but we were too desperate to get away to care?

“I think about the sound of the waves, the way they crashed and chased each other up the shore. I think about the sound of your laugh when I spilled some of our snacks onto the sand and the seagulls started chasing me around. I think about the color of your hair when the sun started to set and gave you a halo of gold. I think about how cold your hands were after swimming in that cold water, and how warm the air felt against our skin when we took a walk to the lighthouse. I think about when we finally our phones and had a thousand missed calls from the guys. I think about the drive home, when you put your head on my shoulder and looked up at me with that beautifully sleepy grin and proceeded to thank me for the best day ever just before you fell asleep.”

Namjoon continues to speak, and as he does, a smile begins to grow on Y/N’s face. She finds that Namjoon is right; in order to relax you have to let the thoughts go. Worries about deadlines and exams and not enough time are chased away by memories of sunlight and sand and sticky ice cream kisses. Y/N feels her breathing come easier and her eyelids slip shut. Her finger tracing Namjoon’s collar bones slows to a stop and she chooses instead to let her palm rest on his chest in order to absorb the vibrations of his rumbling voice. And slowly - so very, very slowly - she loses herself in the soft edges of the sunny dream Namjoon laid out so nicely for her.

Namjoon continues to speak long after he realizes Y/N has fallen asleep. He moves on from the story of their runaway beach day to their first date, and from there he retells some of his most treasured memories of their time together. He takes his time, talking softly to avoid waking the sleeping woman in his arms. He doesn’t stop until the first rays of the sun peek out over the tip-tops of the trees and his voice is nearly gone. Eventually, exhaustion begins to pull his own eyelids shut and, after one final brush of his lips against Y/N’s forehead, he is able to relax into his own deep sleep.

A/N *I seem to write about sleep trouble a lot OTL Thank you for reading!! Please feel free to let me know what you think~*