HEY THERE, IT'S 12 AM HERE!!!

PS. You can ignore the note at the bottom but it will explain the purpose of this one shot. Thank you for being here and please enjoy your time ^_^

It’s funny that a song on the radio can bring a time machine for you.

You’re not romantic type – although you don’t reject the idea if someone doing something romantic to you – but you’re not the typical of person who easily show what you feel. Let alone singing it out loud with cheesy romantic song when you’re happy or even desperate song when you’re depress or sad.

But... you’re human – with flesh and blood and many other things you lazy to mention. Like other human being, you also have feeling. And it just happened. A song on the radio brings your feeling to the surface.

And what make it sillier is… you actually hate the singers.

It’s just a coincidence your best friend really loves this boy band and slaps your hand when you try to change the channel.

You’re grumbling and even try to cover your ears in attempt to block the voices, but surprisingly you don’t do it… when you accidentally hear the first line.

Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me

But bear this in mind, it was meant to be

This stupid song successfully brings you back to the oldest memories about you… and her.

You thank God that you’re in the passenger seat. Although you don’t know if your friend really pays attention at you, you can pretend you’re not happy with the song even though it drowns you to the sea of your memories… of all the moments you had with her.

You can’t help but asking in your mind, how long had it been? But when listening to that song, every memory feels like yesterday. It’s flooding in your brain without a chance for you to stop it.

And this time, you let it happens… while listening to that stupid song.

*

Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me

But bear this in mind, it was meant to be

And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks

And it all makes sense to me…

You remember how you always easily found her hand and held it tightly. Like there were magnets – with opposite attraction – that always found each other.

Her hands were not too big yet too small – the perfect size you ever felt in yours. And the grips also not too tight until you felt suffocate, but also not too loose and let you slipped away. It wasn’t as hard as holding sand. And as cheesy as the song said, it felt like made for each other, yours for her and hers for you.

I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile

You’ve never loved your stomach or your tights,

The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine

But I’ll love them endlessly

From her haircut until her toenail colors or just simply the choice of her clothes or the shape of her body, she always felt anxious and you were always there to argue with her. You never tired to tell her,

“You’re perfect. Nothing has to change. Just put a smile on your face and every man ready to kill for that.”

For you, she was fabulous. She was an angel on earth. She was beautiful. She was…. stunning. And for the sake of your happiness – or maybe because she was kind, she also thought you were the same.

You were perfect.

Although it’s just for her – that you’re perfect – it was more than enough. It’s underestimating if they said it makes you happy. Your feeling is beyond than that.

I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth

But if I do, it’s you

Oh it’s you

They add up to

I’m in love with you and all these little things

Sadly, the only thing that never slips out of your mouth is that three little words. Maybe you have no chance or maybe it just weight too much for both of you. You can give a hundred or even a thousand reasons for that, but you know the truth.

You were scared.

You were scared if everything will change if the three little words… slipped away… And you don’t want anything to change between both of you because everything felt perfect.

You can’t go to bed without a cup of tea

And maybe that’s the reason that you talk in your sleep

And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep

Though it makes no sense to me…

She had that habit – talking in sleep. You knew that when you shared a room with her for few years. At first you thought she was awake but she wasn’t. Maybe it was her half-conscious state before falling into deep slumber. You remember she ever sent someone out from your – and her – room when attempting to wake her up. You secretly laughed to see horrified in their faces when it happened. You were pretending still sleeping that morning.

You never tell anyone about her habit (although they finally figured out because some of them also ever shared room with her). It was your secret you intended to keep. And also the secret conversation you ever had with half-conscious her. It was accident at first.

“No Yuri, you were wrong. Sica isn’t like that.”

In her dream, she had argument with Kwon Yuri. You were curious because first, Yuri weren’t there to speak with her and second, she mentioned your nickname. Okay, maybe the main reason was because you just wanted to know what she thinks about you.

“Like what?”

At first you thought it would be ridiculous if you talked with her when she was sleeping. You can’t be sure if she was listening or not. It was simply your outburst. You almost regretted her if only…

“You were not cold, Sica. Never be. They were wrong calling you Ice Princess. You’re warm.”

You were blushing out of nowhere that night. Okay, you lied. You knew the reason. You just don’t want to tell anyone, even if it was yourself.

“Am I?”

Your tone was shy. You even can’t believe it was coming out from your mouth. It was strange yet familiar.

“Yes, you are. I love to hug you.” She grinned.

You were thinking… if only two words were vanished from the last line… But you knew you shouldn’t wish for something that you were afraid to fight for. Even if she dared herself to embrace that feeling, you can’t be sure if you will be there with her.

I know you’ve never loved the sound of your voice on tape

You never want to know how much your weight

You still have to squeeze into your jeans

But you’re perfect to me

 The only part that wrong from that song was about her weight. No matter how much she ate, she never gained weight. You know that because you – magically – also the same. Maybe because both of you work too hard until all the food gone for making energy to support your body, but whatever.

What is still bothering you until now was her rejection to your offer for duet song. You still don’t get the reason until now. And you’re too afraid to ask why. Beside it’s not like you will force her to sing a romantic song with her – if it happened it’ll be your bonus – but you know how amazing your voice when blending with her.

In some songs, her voice was coming after you or the opposite. It was perfect. And even you won’t admit to anyone, but you always play that part over and over again when you listening to it.

And when the girls found out, they accused you for being narcissist. You didn’t argue because you had no proper reason for that. Although her curious glance almost killed you right away but you didn’t say a single word. A little smile was enough as the answer for them. Although you knew it wasn’t for her but you sighed in relief when she shrugged it off.

You never love yourself half as much as I love you

And you’ll never treat yourself right darlin’ but I want you to

If I let you know I’m here for you

Maybe you’ll love yourself like I love you

It was your wish for her to see herself like how you saw her. The perfection, the beauty… and all wonderful things she had that she didn’t notice she had. You were her biggest fan. Maybe only her mother and her older sister can beat you on that.

If only she loved herself like you loved her….

Loved?

Is it really over for you? You unconsciously ask yourself when the song reaches to the end.

You know you were avoiding her since you left the group and all the problems with the agency. You try your best not to meet her since you realize that your relationship with your boyfriend is your way to stop whatever feeling you have for her.

You suddenly laugh – sarcastically. Because you know it’s not ‘whatever feeling’. You know what it is. You just don’t want to admit. You just…

“We’re here.”

Your best friend stops your train of thoughts. You look at her like she is from the other world and you just figure out her existence. You feel strange.

“Earth to Jessie.”

She waves her hand in front of your face. Lucky you, you have a good reflect to slap it. You try your best to show the anger in your face.

“I’m sorry if I ruin your daydreaming, but we’re here now.”

You look your surroundings. She’s right. You’re finally here.

“Let’s get out.”

When Tiffany notices she finally gets your attention, she asks to follow her. You suddenly feel hesitate. But maybe freak out is the right words to describe, you decide.

 “Can you… go first?”

Tiffany rolls her eyes – like you just make a silly face. But you know you’re being silly.

You act like a preschooler who afraid to go for her first day at school. They grip the hands of their mothers tightly and refuse to let go. You don’t blame them now. You can feel how terrifying it could be. And for you now, Tiffany really looks like a teacher with ruler in hand and ready to punish